Guest guest Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 I am having such a hard time with dating and feeling the energy to " date " . I have am still having problems getting my disease under control it probably is not the right time to even date, but I would like to find someone special in my life, to be supportive. Once I tell a guy what is going on there they seem sympathetic but really all I am wanting is someone supportive and they are so unhelpful! Anyone have some incouraging words?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 What finally worked for me was match.com. That was 4 years ago. We've been living together for the last 3 years and plan to marry. I still wonder if he knows what he's in for. I could mention I am having a flare that feels like a truck ran over me, backed up, ran over me again, then got out and beat my joints with a baseball bat, and he would respond " Yeah, my shoulder's hurting me too " . But he is a good guy and it seemed that the computer matched us up pretty good, better than I would at any social gathering. Before I met Dave, it was an interesting time meeting other people. Meet at a public place and don't give out any personal info until you see his driver's license! LOL! That's not a joke, I would really ask to see the driver's license of someone if I were to date them again. I figured if they had a problem with that, then they are lying about something. Just my 2 cents, best of luck. Joanne Chicago, IL area [ ] Frustration and Pain >I am having such a hard time with dating and feeling the energy > to " date " . I have am still having problems getting my disease under > control it probably is not the right time to even date, but I would > like to find someone special in my life, to be supportive. Once I tell > a guy what is going on there they seem sympathetic but really all I am > wanting is someone supportive and they are so unhelpful! > > Anyone have some incouraging words?? > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 Getting control of the pain and increased energy first would help. I think dating is hard for everyone including the healthy for one reason or another. Maybe getting the condition under control first is best or at least get a reliable pain control regimen going. I know it's easier said than done. i have yet to get things under control myself. However, many here have their pain under control, so I am optimistic it can happen for me and for you one day. because the guy can't see the real you if you are feeling lethargic or in excruciating pain. Go on a date with yourself first by volunteering or visiting a friend or just a trip to a nice coffee shop or the park. if you are able to volunteer and be social on your own, you are able to date. try to put the fibro/ra/condition on the back burner. I don't know where you are in the condition, whether it's severe, still early, mild, flare occasionally, etc., but there was a time (4 years ago) when I could travel 300 miles by myself to visit family and friends, take a girlfriend out for coffee in a car that I drove myself. And even when she said you don't look sick, I would talk about something else other than the RA. Of course at that time i was still very optimistic i could go into remission. however, i kept the subject about the illness to a minimum and I was independent. I think the date needs to get to know you first or else all he will think about is the illness and how needy you will be. It is just my opinion and not meant to offend our dear guys here at the site, but I think our girlfriends nurture us and support us best. Guys will nurture and support you if he is the one for you and has a lot of history with you but I don't know about being supportive right away. That's isn't to say it can't happen because we have some rare supportive guys here at the site but the guys i know get overwhelmed by the illness even ones who have been just friends. the right guy for you is out there. he'll find you when the time is right, but take care of you in the meantime. hang in there. peace, Ebony > > I am having such a hard time with dating and feeling the energy > to " date " . I have am still having problems getting my disease under > control it probably is not the right time to even date, but I would > like to find someone special in my life, to be supportive. Once I tell > a guy what is going on there they seem sympathetic but really all I am > wanting is someone supportive and they are so unhelpful! > > Anyone have some incouraging words?? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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