Re: Re: question about working and RA

[Guest guest]

Ok not to be crass but speaking of how we have to do things different...... i

have been wiping (you know after u go potty) with my left hand almost a year

now......... i was originally right handed but scary lately my left hand has

been swelling and hurting scary thought eh? lol Jenn

[ ] Re: question about working and RA

Give that man a tall glass of hemlock....hey, it's

natural!!!........I just don't get it. How can a man

live in a house with a woman with RA and not notice

enough of a change, and the way we have to learn to do

things differently so that we can still manage do

them, and the pain, and depression!...how can he live

with all that and then think that all that's wrong

with you is that you don't get out of the house

enough???. Where is Dr Phil when you really need him!

I'd be tempted to write DR. Phil...he likes to do

couples stuff...and al the couseling would be

free..and he's always giving away goodies too!Downside

is hubby would hae to be on tv...but even

contemplating that might open his eyes! Or your local

therapist...you really need to talk to a professional

so that your husband will open his eyes and see what

it right in from of him. Would he go for a joint

office visit with your PCP??? My kids are very

non-supportive and my Dr asked me if I wanted him to

call my son and have a man to man talk with him. Think

about it...maybe you need a third party to point it

out to him...because he could sure be doing even small

things that you would be so greatful for!Just a

thought! Jenna

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Jenna,

I definitley think that unless someone has RA like us, or another autoimmune

disease they will never understand our pain. Maybe I put my hubby in a worse

light than he really is. He does do alot to help me(when he is home he is out

of the house from 6:30 til 7:00) and at times when he gets home I just say I

have to sit and he does all the stuff with the kids. Is he totally supportive?

no but hey who is. I think he wishes for a " quick cure " like all of our

spouses. They want the " old " us, the one who could do whatever they wanted and

feel

great. Me, I used to be able to push my self to do all kinds of stuff and never

stop even when I was tired. Now, my body tells me when to stop and it sure

isnt when I want to.

My Mother in law is the same way. She stares at my feet all the time and when

I asked her why she actually thought you could " see " why my feet hurt so bad.

ah, if it were only that easy.

Thanks for the reply and some things for me to think about.

sandie

[Guest guest]

Jenna,

The sign would be wonderful. And yes I know you were not serious about the

hemlock. My problem is I was always do,do,do and going,going,going hubby

could never keep up with me and knew no matter what I would get everything done.

Now it is not the case at all. I am sure he grieves the " old " me- I do too. I

also thinks he feels helpless with al lthe pain I am in. Men like to Fix things

and this he cannot fix. So now, I sit in a messy house (at times) and not

much going on a resting alot and thank goodness my husband doesnt care.

I am just so scared to start working and not be able to follow through. I

guess I will take things as they come and not worry until if and when I have to

..

Thank you so much for your input and thoughts they are a real help.

hope you have a pain free day.

sandie

[Guest guest]

Sierra,

Thanks for the great ideas. I am sure a desk job would be ideal but I am a

teacher by trade. so, I guess it's do what you know how to do as far as work

goes. I will take it one day at a time and right now I have a month before I

start so I am resting up and trying to get as healthy as possible. too bad my RA

isnt listening- I am in a terrible flare right now.

thanks again

sandie