Re: Does anyone understand?

[Guest guest]

Hi Kim.

Sounds like you and I are in the same boat. I have two small children and I

work a full time job. Somedays by the time I get home I have trouble just

getting out of the car. Sometimes on the really bad days I just lie down because

I am hurting so bad but my husband thinks that I am " resting " and figures that I

will be back to normal in no time.

The thing I tell myself is that I am just having a bad day and it will get

better, but honestly there have been so many more bad days than good. I think

that this support group in a way is helping me. It gives me chance to connect

with other people out there that can understand what I am going through. But if

I find a different alternative I will let you know.

KIMBERLY <foxybratgirlkm@...> wrote:

Hello, group I do not post much, but, I have to vent a little here. I

do read a lot though.

Does anyone have people around them that just don't get this RA thing?

No one around me understands except for my best friend. No matter what

they read or what I tell them.

I have a daycare in my home I watch 4-5 kids at a time. I'm so fatigued

all the time that I can't stand myself. And no one has given me

anything that works. I can't even clean the bathroom right! My husband

gets so upset with me.

Does anyone have any advice?

love,

Kim

[Guest guest]

Kim,

What is it, exactly, that your husband gets upset about? How long have you

been diagnosed and what meds have you tried so far?

I've been diagnosed for about a year now. I'm on a combination of Plaquenil

and Methotrexate - seems to be helping a great deal. I've been successfully

taking the Methotrexate injections (pills made me VERY sick) for over 10 weeks

and I've only had ONE flare-up, which has been a true success for me. I still

hurt and I still get tired easily, but I'm much better now.

I work in an office. If you're taking care of a bunch of small children...I

hate to say it, but you might want to seek a new profession. There are days

when I struggle to get through my day sitting at a desk. I don't even babysit

my brother's girls, ages 2 and 8 mos. because I can't handle the physical

requirements.

I thank God that this happened to me when my children are old enough to help

out. My husband has been my greatest ally and friend through all of this. You

should be able to depend on your husband for support.

in Texas

KIMBERLY <foxybratgirlkm@...> wrote:

Hello, group I do not post much, but, I have to vent a little here. I

do read a lot though.

Does anyone have people around them that just don't get this RA thing?

No one around me understands except for my best friend. No matter what

they read or what I tell them.

I have a daycare in my home I watch 4-5 kids at a time. I'm so fatigued

all the time that I can't stand myself. And no one has given me

anything that works. I can't even clean the bathroom right! My husband

gets so upset with me.

Does anyone have any advice?

love,

Kim

[Guest guest]

I would never advocate violence, but a well placed baseball sometimes works.

It is really hard to convince anyone that you are that bad off.It took my

wife more than 2 years to figure it out and now can tell me how bad I am on

a particular day. In the meantime, it's very frustrating. Maybe with time,

he'll come around, I hope.

Dennis in Eastexas

" It's not Rocket Surgery "

Re: [ ] Does anyone understand?

> Hi Kim.

> Sounds like you and I are in the same boat. I have two small children and

> I work a full time job. Somedays by the time I get home I have trouble

> just getting out of the car. Sometimes on the really bad days I just lie

> down because I am hurting so bad but my husband thinks that I am " resting "

> and figures that I will be back to normal in no time.

> The thing I tell myself is that I am just having a bad day and it will

> get better, but honestly there have been so many more bad days than good.

> I think that this support group in a way is helping me. It gives me chance

> to connect with other people out there that can understand what I am going

> through. But if I find a different alternative I will let you know.

>

>

> KIMBERLY <foxybratgirlkm@...> wrote:

> Hello, group I do not post much, but, I have to vent a little

> here. I

> do read a lot though.

> Does anyone have people around them that just don't get this RA thing?

> No one around me understands except for my best friend. No matter what

> they read or what I tell them.

>

> I have a daycare in my home I watch 4-5 kids at a time. I'm so fatigued

> all the time that I can't stand myself. And no one has given me

> anything that works. I can't even clean the bathroom right! My husband

> gets so upset with me.

>

> Does anyone have any advice?

> love,

> Kim

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thanks for writing. I'm now on, Humira. Which I inject every two weeks,

I don't think my husband will ever understand. But, that's ok. I will make it

one way or another. Yes, I'm thinking about doing security again. Less money,

but it might help me with this power struggle. I have had RA since jan.05. Long

enough. It has caused so many problems for me. Know I can't get rid of this

cold!

I hope you have a nice weekend!

Love,

Kim

Pou <jenncrew@...> wrote:

Kim,

What is it, exactly, that your husband gets upset about? How long have you been

diagnosed and what meds have you tried so far?

I've been diagnosed for about a year now. I'm on a combination of Plaquenil and

Methotrexate - seems to be helping a great deal. I've been successfully taking

the Methotrexate injections (pills made me VERY sick) for over 10 weeks and I've

only had ONE flare-up, which has been a true success for me. I still hurt and I

still get tired easily, but I'm much better now.

I work in an office. If you're taking care of a bunch of small children...I hate

to say it, but you might want to seek a new profession. There are days when I

struggle to get through my day sitting at a desk. I don't even babysit my

brother's girls, ages 2 and 8 mos. because I can't handle the physical

requirements.

I thank God that this happened to me when my children are old enough to help

out. My husband has been my greatest ally and friend through all of this. You

should be able to depend on your husband for support.

in Texas

KIMBERLY <foxybratgirlkm@...> wrote:

Hello, group I do not post much, but, I have to vent a little here. I

do read a lot though.

Does anyone have people around them that just don't get this RA thing?

No one around me understands except for my best friend. No matter what

they read or what I tell them.

I have a daycare in my home I watch 4-5 kids at a time. I'm so fatigued

all the time that I can't stand myself. And no one has given me

anything that works. I can't even clean the bathroom right! My husband

gets so upset with me.

Does anyone have any advice?

love,

Kim

[Guest guest]

Dear Kimberley

I am just learning to pace myself. I don't know how on earth you

manage your job - let alone the housework. 5 little children is

enough to exhaust anyone.

I guess it helps for our supporters to realise that this disease

effects the whole body, not just joints. Do you attend any RA

associations, or groups? Could your partner go with you? Has he

received any counselling from health professionals?

It is a huge learning curve for anyone to understand.

Good luck. Deb

--- In , " KIMBERLY " <foxybratgirlkm@...>

wrote:

>

> Hello, group I do not post much, but, I have to vent a little

here. I

> do read a lot though.

> Does anyone have people around them that just don't get this RA

thing?

> No one around me understands except for my best friend. No matter

what

> they read or what I tell them.

>

> I have a daycare in my home I watch 4-5 kids at a time. I'm so

fatigued

> all the time that I can't stand myself. And no one has given me

> anything that works. I can't even clean the bathroom right! My

husband

> gets so upset with me.

>

> Does anyone have any advice?

> love,

> Kim

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Debbie,

Thanks, for writing. Everyone who has wrote has made me feel good, and smile.

I have not checked into any RA groups, who knows if there is any, if not maybe I

can set one up, I can be a pretty good leader. Thanks, for the idea. It's not

easy my job. And my husband and his mom think I should have the whole house

cleaned everyday, since I work at home!Someone give me a break!

love,

Kim

debnlen_75 <debnlen@...> wrote:

Dear Kimberley

I am just learning to pace myself. I don't know how on earth you

manage your job - let alone the housework. 5 little children is

enough to exhaust anyone.

I guess it helps for our supporters to realise that this disease

effects the whole body, not just joints. Do you attend any RA

associations, or groups? Could your partner go with you? Has he

received any counselling from health professionals?

It is a huge learning curve for anyone to understand.

Good luck. Deb

--- In , " KIMBERLY " <foxybratgirlkm@...>

wrote:

>

> Hello, group I do not post much, but, I have to vent a little

here. I

> do read a lot though.

> Does anyone have people around them that just don't get this RA

thing?

> No one around me understands except for my best friend. No matter

what

> they read or what I tell them.

>

> I have a daycare in my home I watch 4-5 kids at a time. I'm so

fatigued

> all the time that I can't stand myself. And no one has given me

> anything that works. I can't even clean the bathroom right! My

husband

> gets so upset with me.

>

> Does anyone have any advice?

> love,

> Kim

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi Kim,

(((Hugs))).

Been there done that. And yes it is some sort of power struggle or

can be in certian situations. Been there and hope to find the right

therapy someday to get my life back on track. In the meantime, I am

always looking for a way to be more independent, baby steps. If you

have to do the security work, then do it, whatever it takes to remain

independent, baby steps. You can get things back on track little by

little. The things " they " get upset about are out of your hands.

Their reaction is out of your hands. It kinda reminds me when i was

in my early 20s I worked for a doctor's answering service. We had to

page the doctors when a patient had an emergency. This one patient

went into labor and I had to page the doctor. It was late and he was

upset about the woman going into labor. so when he called me back,

he commented to me " why would she pick now to go into labor. " that

comment was so cold to me and although I know things happen at the

wrong times or not what we want to happen, I feel why blame the

person going through it? It just makes no sense to me. I have been

there. For some they just don't get it and never ever will. There

are many who do empathize with the chronic pain individuals and many

who do not. I know fromm experience. What's in it for them to " get

it. " Just thank God your best friend does get it and is there for

you. I lost my best friend 13 years ago before RA, but the ones I

had after RA didn't get it and slowly disappeared. So I am happy

your friend stuck around. Just remain hopeful the right therapy will

happen for you, keep a positive outlook whether people understand the

pain or not, stay active as long as you can, visit with your best

friend, live your life. Focus on getting better. And there is always

the RA support group to vent or share whenever you need to.

peace and healing,

Ebony

--- In , KIM SNYDER <foxybratgirlkm@...>

wrote:

>

> Hi ,

> Thanks for writing. I'm now on, Humira. Which I inject every two

weeks,

> I don't think my husband will ever understand. But, that's ok. I

will make it one way or another. Yes, I'm thinking about doing

security again. Less money, but it might help me with this power

struggle. I have had RA since jan.05. Long enough. It has caused so

many problems for me. Know I can't get rid of this cold!

> I hope you have a nice weekend!

> Love,

> Kim