The Language of Letting Go

[Guest guest]

I’m

not sure which edition; it’s by Melody Beatie.  I didn’t know there

was more than one version.

I

send these to my 12 Step support groups, but wasn’t sure how they’d

be received here.  Some just seem so appropriate.  Since they’re

appreciated, I can send them every day.

m

From:

Hepatitis_C_Central

[mailto:Hepatitis_C_Central ] On Behalf Of Suzi Q

Sent: Saturday, November 22, 2008 10:10 AM

To: Hepatitis_C_Central

Subject: Re: The language of Letting Go

Thanks, .

These daily thoughts are great. I have always liked

Hazelden literature. There are several books with this title.

Which edition is this? I might just order it and spend some time away

from the computer with it each day. I do appreciate your sharing yours

with us.

Quinn

In the swamp in secluded recesses, a shy and hidden bird is

warbling a song. Walt Whitman

From: Matchinsky

Subject: The language of Letting Go

To: " Matchinsky "

Date: Saturday, November 22, 2008, 7:02 AM

The

Magic of Gratitude and

Acceptance

November 22

Gratitude and acceptance are two magic tricks available to us in

recovery. No

matter

who we are, where we are, or what we have, gratitude and acceptance work.

We may eventually become so happy that we realize our present circumstances

are

good. Or we may master our present circumstances and then move forward

into the

next

set of circumstances.

If we become stuck, miserable, feeling trapped and hopeless, try gratitude

and

acceptance.

If we have tried unsuccessfully to alter our present circumstances and have

begun

to feel like we¢re beating our head against a brick wall, try gratitude and

acceptance.

If we feel like all is dark and the night will never end, try gratitude and

acceptance.

If we feel scared and uncertain, try gratitude and acceptance.

If we¢ve tried everything else and nothing seems to work, try gratitude and

acceptance.

If we¢ve been fighting something, try gratitude and acceptance.

When all else fails, go back to basics

Gratitude and acceptance work.

Today,

God, help me let go of my resistance. Help me know the pain of a

circumstance

will

stop hurting so much if I accept it. I will practice the basics of

gratitude and

acceptance

in my life, and for all my present circumstances.

J Matchinsky

[Guest guest]

They are great, , I also appreciate them and you

taking the time to send them to all..

Sheena

From: Matchinsky <mmatchinsky@ gmail.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] The language of Letting GoTo: " Matchinsky" <mmatchinsky@ gmail.com>Date: Saturday, November 22, 2008, 7:02 AM

The Magic of Gratitude and Acceptance November 22

Gratitude and acceptance are two magic tricks available to us in recovery. No matter who we are, where we are, or what we have, gratitude and acceptance work. We may eventually become so happy that we realize our present circumstances are good. Or we may master our present circumstances and then move forward into the next set of circumstances. If we become stuck, miserable, feeling trapped and hopeless, try gratitude and acceptance. If we have tried unsuccessfully to alter our present circumstances and have begun to feel like we¢re beating our head against a brick wall, try gratitude and acceptance. If we feel like all is dark and the night will never end, try gratitude and acceptance. If we feel scared and uncertain, try gratitude and acceptance. If we¢ve tried everything else and nothing seems to work, try gratitude and acceptance. If we¢ve been fighting something, try gratitude and acceptance. When all else fails, go back to basics Gratitude and acceptance work.

Today, God, help me let go of my resistance. Help me know the pain of a circumstance

will stop hurting so much if I accept it. I will practice the basics of gratitude and

acceptance in my life, and for all my present circumstances.

J Matchinsky

[Guest guest]

I find them a great way to start my day. Please keep sending them. I look forward to reading the forum with an uplifting message to start the day. Thanks again !!!

Quinn

In the swamp in secluded recesses, a shy and hidden bird is warbling a song. Walt Whitman From: Matchinsky <mmatchinsky@ gmail.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] The language of Letting GoTo: " Matchinsky" <mmatchinsky@ gmail.com>Date: Saturday, November 22, 2008, 7:02 AM

The Magic of Gratitude and Acceptance November 22

Gratitude and acceptance are two magic tricks available to us in recovery. No matter who we are, where we are, or what we have, gratitude and acceptance work. We may eventually become so happy that we realize our present circumstances are good. Or we may master our present circumstances and then move forward into the next set of circumstances. If we become stuck, miserable, feeling trapped and hopeless, try gratitude and acceptance. If we have tried unsuccessfully to alter our present circumstances and have begun to feel like we¢re beating our head against a brick wall, try gratitude and acceptance. If we feel like all is dark and the night will never end, try gratitude and acceptance. If we feel scared and uncertain, try gratitude and acceptance. If we¢ve tried everything else and nothing seems to work, try gratitude and acceptance. If we¢ve been fighting something, try gratitude and acceptance. When all else fails, go back to basics Gratitude and acceptance work. Today, God, help me let go of my resistance. Help me know the pain of a circumstance

will stop hurting so much if I accept it. I will practice the basics of gratitude and

acceptance in my life, and for all my present circumstances. J Matchinsky

[Guest guest]

It’s

a tough one.

m

From: Hepatitis_C_Central

[mailto:Hepatitis_C_Central ] On Behalf Of Suzi Q

Sent: Sunday, November 23, 2008 11:27 AM

To: Hepatitis_C_Central

Subject: Re: The Language of Letting Go

Darn, , I haven't

needed this one for many years--and don't anticipate needing it again--at

least in this lifetime. But thanks anyway. Still, I CAN look at

my attitudes.

Quinn

In the swamp in secluded recesses, a shy and hidden bird is

warbling a song. Walt Whitman

From: Matchinsky

Subject: The Language of Letting Go

To: " Matchinsky "

Date: Sunday, November 23, 2008, 8:18 AM

Healthy

Sexuality

November 23

Many areas of our life need healing.

One important part of our life is our sexuality. Our feelings and

beliefs about our

sexuality,

our ability to nurture, cherish, and enjoy our sexuality, our ability to

respect

ourselves

sexually, our ability to let of sexual shame and confusion, may all be

impaired

of

confused by our codependency.

Our sexual energy may be blocked. Or for some of us, sex may be the

only way

we

learned to connect with people. Our sexuality may not be connected to

the rest of us;

sex

may not be connected to love – for ourselves or others.

Some of us were sexually abused as children. Some of us may have gotten

involved

in sexuality addictive behaviors – compulsive sexual behaviors that got

out of

control

and produced shame.

Some of us may have gotten involved in sexual codependency; not paying

attention

to what we wanted, or didn’t want, sexually; allowing ourselves to get

involved

sexually

because it was what the other person wanted; shutting off our sexuality along

with

our other feelings; denying ourselves healthy enjoyment of ourselves as

sexual

beings.

Our sexuality is a part of ourselves that deserves healing attention and

energy. It

is

part of us that we can allow to become connected to the whole of us; it is

part of us that

we

can stop being ashamed of.

It is okay and healthy to allow our sexual energy to open up and become

healed.

It

is connected to our creativity and to our heart. We do not have to

allow our sexual

energy

to control us or our relationships. We can establish and maintain

healthy,

appropriate

boundaries around our sexuality. We can discover what that means in our

life.

We can enjoy the gift of being human beings who have been given the gift of

sexual

energy, without abusing or discounting the gift.

Today,

I will begin to integrate my sexuality into the rest of my personality.

God, help me

let

go of my fears and shame around my sexuality. Show me the issues I need

to face

concerning

my sexuality. Help me open myself to healing in that area of my life.

J Matchinsky

[Guest guest]

Detachment

November

30

One day, my son brought a gerbil home to live with

us. We put it in a cage.

Sometime later, the gerbil escaped. For the next six

months, the animal ran frightened

and wild through the house. So did we – chasing

it.

“There it is. Get it!” we’d

scream, each time someone spotted the gerbil. I, or my

son, would throw down whatever we were working on, race

across the house, and lunge

at the animal hoping to catch it.

I worried about it, even when we didn’t see it.

“This isn’t right,” I’d think. “I

can’t have a gerbil running loose in the house.

We’ve got to catch it. We’ve got to do

something.”

A small animal, the size of a mouse had the entire

household in a tizzy.

One day, while sitting in the living room, I watched

the animal scurry across the

hallway. In a frenzy, I started to lunge at it, as I

usually did, then I stopped myself.

No, I said. I’m all done. If that

animal wants to live in the nooks and crannies of

this house, I’m going to let it. I’m done

worrying about it. I’m done chasing it. It’s an

irregular circumstance, but that’s just the way

it’s going to have to be.

I let the gerbil run past without reacting. I

felt slightly uncomfortable with my

new reaction – not reacting – but I stuck to it

anyway.

I got more comfortable with my new reaction –

not reacting. Before long, I

became downright peaceful with the situation. I had

stopped fighting the gerbil. One

afternoon, only weeks after I started practicing my new

attitude, the gerbil ran by me, as

it had so many times, and I barely glanced at it. The

animal stopped in its tracks, turned

around, and looked at me. I started to lunge at

it. It started to run away. I relaxed.

“Fine,” I said. “Do what you

want.” And I meant it.

One hour later, the gerbil came and stood by me, and

waited. I gently picked it up

and placed it in its cage, where it has lived happily ever

since. The moral of the story?

Don’t lunge at the gerbil. He’s

already frightened, and chasing him just scares him more

and makes us crazy.

Detachment works.

Today, I will be comfortable in my new reaction –

not reacting. I will feel at peace.

J Matchinsky

[Guest guest]

This has been a tough lesson for

me to learn. Looking good seems to be important; perhaps that’s a

guy thing, but I suspect it’s a human thing. Letting people in can

be a favor to them. For a long time, I tried not to worry by

keeping some of my symptoms secret, but I realized that I worried her more by

doing that. We need to let people in.

m

From: Matchinsky

Sent: Monday, December 01, 2008 11:23 AM

To: Matchinsky

Subject: The Language of Letting Go

Letting People Be There for

Us

December 1

Sometimes, we need nurturing. Sometimes, we

need people to support us.

Many of us have been deprived of support and

nurturing for so long we may not

realize it’s something we want and need. Many of

us have learned to block or stop

ourselves from getting what we want and need.

We may not reach out to have our needs met. We

may be in relationships with

people who cannot or will not be available to meet our

needs. Or we may be in

relationships with people who would be happy to respond to a

direct request from us.

We may have to give up something to do this. We

may have to let go of our

martyr or victim role. If we ask for what we want and

need, and get those needs met, we

will not be able to punish people, or push them away later

on, for disappointing us.

We may have to let go of our fears enough to

experience the intimacy that will

occur when we allow someone to love and support us. We

may even have to learn, one

day at a time, how to be happy and content.

Learn to let others be there for us.

Today, I will be open to identifying what I need from

people, and I will ask for what I

want directly. I will let others be there for me.

J Matchinsky