Re: Please Lend your support

[Guest guest]

LV

It sounds to me he is trying to protect you. Hep C does chg ones outlook. Im going to have to let someone else advise you. If he is not abusive to you, then maybe you should go for it.

Just be careful. Hep C can be passed on.

love

don in kansas

Subject: Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_Central Date: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate it.

[Guest guest]

I want to comment on it being passed on. I have had hep c for 30 years. I have had 2 husbands and now a boyfriend (Live-in) None of them have gotten hep c from me. I have had all sorts of physical sex with them The only thing I dont do is share a razor or toothbrush. My two children dont have it. One was c section and one regular birth.

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate it.

[Guest guest]

The most important thing in life is to be happy. If

you aren't happy, you aren't going to make anyone else

happy.

I don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes

but it definitely sounds like you have some issues

that need to be addressed. First and foremost, if he

loves you. If you aren't sure of that--please find

out.

Also, if your bf doesn't want to take care of himself,

then how do you expect to take care of him? Hep C is

tough to handle and you can't do it alone.

Finally, abuse is abuse. Verbal abuse is just as

painful as physical, sometimes moreso. You don't

deserve and you shouldn't accept it.

Be strong girl. Decide what you want out of life and

get it.

I don't mean to assume I know everything about your

life but from what you've stated in your message, it

sounds like you needed a bit of a pep talk

I'll be thinking bout you!!!

--- Elder wrote:

> I want to comment on it being passed on.  I have had

> hep c for 30 years.   I have had 2 husbands and now

> a boyfriend (Live-in) None of them have gotten hep c

> from me.  I have had all sorts of physical sex with

> them   The only thing I dont do is share a razor

> or toothbrush.  My two children dont have it.  One

> was c section and one regular birth. 

>

>

>

> From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>

> Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your

> support

> To: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.com

> Date: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

>

>

>

>

> I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8

> years. At first I

> had to read about the virus to learn more about him

> and what he was

> going through. I love this man with my whole heart

> and soul and I

> don't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable

> and has a very

> short fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking

> to me? Some days

> he's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss

> he won't) he says

> its due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to

> go home and cry

> because he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at

> all or he's hurt my

> feelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I

> don't even know if

> this man loves. My heart tells me he really does but

> his actions state

> otherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you

> think " ok,

> someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up " .

> My trouble is I

> am not happy with him on most days hes so cold and

> never even hugs me

> hardly. I am willing to dedicate my life to this man

> even though he

> screwed his own life up by injecting drugs into his

> arms and ended up

> with this deadly virus but I will not be self

> centered and leave him

> because of something he isn't doing for me. He has

> full custody of his

> son and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt

> snapping or saying

> " dont start " because I want to know if he really

> loves or if im

> wasting my time. He did his treatments a few years

> ago and doesn't see

> a doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I

> would really

> appreciate it.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

you're right ,, abuse is abuse and Hep C is no excuse for abuse,,> > From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>> Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your> support> To: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.com> Date: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM> > > > > I

have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8> years. At first I> had to read about the virus to learn more about him> and what he was> going through. I love this man with my whole heart> and soul and I> don't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable> and has a very> short fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking> to me? Some days> he's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss> he won't) he says> its due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to> go home and cry> because he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at> all or he's hurt my> feelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I> don't even know if> this man loves. My heart tells me he really does but> his actions state> otherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you> think "ok,> someones elevator isn't quite going all the

way up".> My trouble is I> am not happy with him on most days hes so cold and> never even hugs me> hardly. I am willing to dedicate my life to this man> even though he> screwed his own life up by injecting drugs into his> arms and ended up> with this deadly virus but I will not be self> centered and leave him> because of something he isn't doing for me. He has> full custody of his> son and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt> snapping or saying> "dont start" because I want to know if he really> loves or if im> wasting my time. He did his treatments a few years> ago and doesn't see> a doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I> would really> appreciate it.> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

[Guest guest]

yep,, its not easily passed on,, it takes blood to blood,, and one can kiss without doing the deep kissing thing.. I'd never be married to anyone who refused to kiss me.. how sad I would be... I love kissing..

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate it.

[Guest guest]

don, this man is abusive to her,, maybe not physically but very much so emotionally.. and you dont get hep c by kissing,,

Im not reprimanding ya hon.. but abuse is abuse and this poor gal is lonely, I can see it in her post,, why would anyone stay with someone who would make them feel alone?

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate it.

[Guest guest]

Jackie, tech I agree with you. But she has yrs with this guy, and I didnt want to be the one to tell her give it up. I believe in hope that with work any relationship can be saved.

If we turn our backs on the ones we love..........

love

don in kansas

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate it.

[Guest guest]

My mom and dad were together for 70+ yrs. My dad was mentally and emotionally abusive to my mom, and vise versa. It took them 50+ years to finally 'get it right', and begin to treat each other with true love and compassion. Had they split up, would they have ever gained that mt top?

My mom died 2 yrs ago, knowing my dad truely loved her. My dad today is a gentle man who does not spk negatively, nor will he listen to someone elses negativity.

I think about my GF, Marla. We had 5 yrs together. She was my heart. She dumped me when she found out I had hep c.

That hurt me, and Im still spinning from it. She has nothing good to say about me, but I love her, and I dont think Ill give her up that easily. I tell her I still love her every chance I get.

Call me a fool. Perhaps I am. I just cant turn my back on someone I told, 'I love you'.

Ive told each of you here the same thing, 'I love you', and 'you are my friend'.

I want to be that kind of person, true to my word.

I think I would abuse myself if I become a lier.

Does that make sence to anyone?

But LV's choice is not mine to make.

love

don in kansas

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate it.

[Guest guest]

i wouldnt tk abuse , and i dont, Jackie on wrote: you're right ,, abuse is abuse and Hep C is no excuse for abuse,,> > From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>> Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your> support> To: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.com>

Date: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM> > > > > I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8> years. At first I> had to read about the virus to learn more about him> and what he was> going through. I love this man with my whole heart> and soul and I> don't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable> and has a very> short fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking> to me? Some days> he's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss> he won't) he says> its due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to> go home and cry> because he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at> all or he's hurt my> feelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I> don't even know if> this man loves. My heart tells me he really does but> his actions state> otherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes

you> think "ok,> someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up".> My trouble is I> am not happy with him on most days hes so cold and> never even hugs me> hardly. I am willing to dedicate my life to this man> even though he> screwed his own life up by injecting drugs into his> arms and ended up> with this deadly virus but I will not be self> centered and leave him> because of something he isn't doing for me. He has> full custody of his> son and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt> snapping or saying> "dont start" because I want to know if he really> loves or if im> wasting my time. He did his treatments a few years> ago and doesn't see> a doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I> would really> appreciate it.> > > > > > > > > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

good you shouldnt> > From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>> Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your> support> To: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.com> Date: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM> > > > > I

have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8> years. At first I> had to read about the virus to learn more about him> and what he was> going through. I love this man with my whole heart> and soul and I> don't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable> and has a very> short fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking> to me? Some days> he's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss> he won't) he says> its due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to> go home and cry> because he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at> all or he's hurt my> feelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I> don't even know if> this man loves. My heart tells me he really does but> his actions state> otherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you> think "ok,> someones elevator isn't quite going all the

way up".> My trouble is I> am not happy with him on most days hes so cold and> never even hugs me> hardly. I am willing to dedicate my life to this man> even though he> screwed his own life up by injecting drugs into his> arms and ended up> with this deadly virus but I will not be self> centered and leave him> because of something he isn't doing for me. He has> full custody of his> son and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt> snapping or saying> "dont start" because I want to know if he really> loves or if im> wasting my time. He did his treatments a few years> ago and doesn't see> a doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I> would really> appreciate it.> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

[Guest guest]

You sound so very supportive , there is not allot of that out there these days . Maybe he needs to see someone ? It sounds like he is just angry all the time and he needs to figure out what is making him feel like that . And you shouldnt be his kicking post so to speak , he needs to respect you and treat you with respect . And the kissing thing is only bad if you had open bleeding sores in your mouth at the same time . I have been married and kissing my husband for many yrs with no transmission , and we have an active sex life . I should also mention that I have had 4 of my children after my diagnosis and not one of them have the virus .

Please Lend your support

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate it.

[Guest guest]

well thats really good don,, Im glad that your parents worked things out..My own grandparents stayed married all their lives but my grandfather disappeared for years at a time due to his alcoholism and at times no one knew if he was alive or not.. my grandfather finally came to his senses in his late 60's and they stayed together until my grandmother died at age 83.. but she had a long hard life and I know that today she would say that had she had it to do over again, she would not have stayed.. but in those days,, women didnt leave..

This person IS abusing this woman,, he is being extremely emotionally abusive and who knows whether or not he is abusing her physically as well.. its very rare that a man is solely emotionally abusive without the other part , the physical abuse not occuring right along with it..

Love should NOT be painful,, if it is, then its really not love, its addiction.. IM not talking about the pain of an illness or something outside of someones control, but his behavior is not out of his control.. a man does NOT treat a woman he loves like that.. he just does not..

Im glad your parents worked things out,, they are highly unusual.. and you know, like Janet said, you can lead a horse to water,, and if this lady is highly wanting to make this relationship work, thats fine, but one person cannot do it alone.. and he certainly does not appear willing to work at it either.. it takes two who want to work at a relationship to make it work,,

what a sad thing this is to me. my heart breaks for this fine lady who is more than willing to stay with someone and want to help.. unfortunately HE is using this as an excuse to abuse her.. oh my heart hurts for her as I've been there....

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate it.

[Guest guest]

>

> From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>

> Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your support

> To: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.com

> Date: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

>

>

>

>

> I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first I

> had to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he was

> going through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and I

> don't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a very

> short fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some days

> he's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he says

> its due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and cry

> because he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt my

> feelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know if

> this man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions state

> otherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think " ok,

> someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up " . My trouble is I

> am not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs me

> hardly. I am willing to dedicate my life to this man even though he

> screwed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended up

> with this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave him

> because of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of his

> son and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying

> " dont start " because I want to know if he really loves or if im

> wasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't see

> a doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would really

> appreciate it.

>

[Guest guest]

well hon, if he shows affection in public but not behind closed doors, its no wonder you crave his affection and attention. He's a grown man now and so I cannot understand why he would use his growing up deficits as a reason for treating you in an unloving way. You would think he'd be the opposite after enduring that...

I dont have any other answers, I sure wish I did, but I honestly gave you my opinion in my private email. I still stand to that.. people do not change, they just dont.. they are who they are and IF you can stay with him and KNOW that NOTHING will ever change, then ok,, just accept that you will be very lonely for most of your life. Whether he is handsome and can have any woman is not the issue hon.. He might be able to draw any woman but with the way he treats you, he would not be able to keep any woman, especially a confident woman would not tolerate this kind of treatment. My biggest concern is not for him, but for you and why you would settle for being lonely while being in a relationship..

I sure hope things work out for you,, but please know that while hep c can change how a person lives their life, it certainly is not an excuse for treating someone as you have described being treated. there is no excuse for that..

Hope things work out hon.. I truely told you how I see it and well,, its up to you as to what you are willing to put up with.. You sound like such a great lady and I sure believe you deserved to be loved as much as you obviously want to love this man..

jax

[Guest guest]

Excellent post Jackie !!! I agree with you. Abuse is NOT love.

Hugs, SuziQ

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate it.

[Guest guest]

thank you! I realize that IM probably treading on thin ice with this one, but so many ppl think that relationships take hard work and that THAT is love.. its not.. love is easy.. and it should never be onesided where one partner feels deprived..

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate

it.

[Guest guest]

Thank You very much for being so involved. It's hard to find someone who actually cares in a situation that they can't see. I don't know what will happen at this point. I just can't live without affection and I've broken it off with him before and after a week he sends a text that says "I'm eating Mcs, You know you wanna be here" he knows I hate Mcs, and this is HIS way of telling me he's hurting and he's missing me really bad? He want's me to be "THANKFUL" that he is faithful to me because he cheated on every girl he was ever with until me. Until he was saved and turned his life around... when his son was born to a stripper girlfriend. He had to spend countless months fighting court battles to win custody of his son and now he knows what life is really about and will not take life for granted anymore. His verbal abuse is in the form of "you will

not go to dinner with my family and I "as punishmment" for my drama because I said "I don't think Im going to go, Im tired and I know that is going to make you mad" he said I was trying to get a rise out of him when I said that so his response was "thats ok, it will make it easier for me to flirt with all the girls". I don't get this whole thing but still afraid of turning my back for fear of losing a really good thing. What do I know? Im just really scared and I want to be special to him and it's hard to except that I simply am not. have a good nightKimSubject: Re: Re: Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_Central Date: Monday, December 8, 2008, 10:55

PM

well hon, if he shows affection in public but not behind closed doors, its no wonder you crave his affection and attention. He's a grown man now and so I cannot understand why he would use his growing up deficits as a reason for treating you in an unloving way. You would think he'd be the opposite after enduring that...

I dont have any other answers, I sure wish I did, but I honestly gave you my opinion in my private email. I still stand to that.. people do not change, they just dont.. they are who they are and IF you can stay with him and KNOW that NOTHING will ever change, then ok,, just accept that you will be very lonely for most of your life. Whether he is handsome and can have any woman is not the issue hon.. He might be able to draw any woman but with the way he treats you, he would not be able to keep any woman, especially a confident woman would not tolerate this kind of treatment. My biggest concern is not for him, but for you and why you would settle for being lonely while being in a relationship. .

I sure hope things work out for you,, but please know that while hep c can change how a person lives their life, it certainly is not an excuse for treating someone as you have described being treated. there is no excuse for that..

Hope things work out hon.. I truely told you how I see it and well,, its up to you as to what you are willing to put up with.. You sound like such a great lady and I sure believe you deserved to be loved as much as you obviously want to love this man..

jax

[Guest guest]

Is Love a feeling or something that is planted and built over time?

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate

it.

[Guest guest]

You're very welcome.. I am gonna answer this one privately too and if you want to email me back, all you have to do after you read my post is to hit the reply button so it comes back to me instead of being posted for the entire group to read..

jax

From: Jackie on <redjaxjmyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: Re: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Re: Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 10:55 PM

well hon, if he shows affection in public but not behind closed doors, its no wonder you crave his affection and attention. He's a grown man now and so I cannot understand why he would use his growing up deficits as a reason for treating you in an unloving way. You would think he'd be the opposite after enduring that...

I dont have any other answers, I sure wish I did, but I honestly gave you my opinion in my private email. I still stand to that.. people do not change, they just dont.. they are who they are and IF you can stay with him and KNOW that NOTHING will ever change, then ok,, just accept that you will be very lonely for most of your life. Whether he is handsome and can have any woman is not the issue hon.. He might be able to draw any woman but with the way he treats you, he would not be able to keep any woman, especially a confident woman would not tolerate this kind of treatment. My biggest concern is not for him, but for you and why you would settle for being lonely while being in a relationship. .

I sure hope things work out for you,, but please know that while hep c can change how a person lives their life, it certainly is not an excuse for treating someone as you have described being treated. there is no excuse for that..

Hope things work out hon.. I truely told you how I see it and well,, its up to you as to what you are willing to put up with.. You sound like such a great lady and I sure believe you deserved to be loved as much as you obviously want to love this man..

jax

[Guest guest]

well love has to be there to be planted to begin with... then you nuture it and it grows. It is also a decision as well, its a choice.. and in a love relationship, its either there or its not..

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate

it.

[Guest guest]

yes relationships can be saved, but only IF BOTH ppl want to save it.. sounds like she's doing all the work

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate it.

[Guest guest]

Jackie

Im sorry. I disagree with you.

Youve heard ONE side of the story, and your rushing off to judgement.

'This guy is a t*rd, leave him'.

Thats just plain wrong.

Id also like to say that I dont think that its this sites business to do marital support or advice.

I thought this site was about hep c support, learning, advice, sharing, etc.

Id like to hear what he has to say. How he see's things, before I make up my mind about advising such drastic measures.

Ive met ppl all my life who wah wah about stuff that isnt true.

Ask my ex. She will tell you nothing good about me, but I dont think Im such a bad person.

love

don in kansas

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate it.

[Guest guest]

I would like to clear up one more thing.

I do not think abuse is love, nor do I condone abuse in any form.

love

don in kansas

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate

it.

[Guest guest]

don, I think we all know you well enough to know that you did not mean that..

we knew you meant the right thing hon,,

jax

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate

it.

[Guest guest]

Don you're probably right hon,, I tried to email my opinions off the forum and privately,,

this really isnt the place for marital counseling however if someone is being emotionally abused and they come to find out if the hep c could make someone hurt someone else like that, I feel it my responsibility to state that NO, hep c will not make someone be emotionally abusive to someone else..

you're right, there are two sides to every story, but since he has not come and stated his, I can only give my opinion based upon what I've been told.. thats why I tried to keep it off the forum.

however, when someone states that they are being emotionally abused and someone else says that as long as the person is not being physically abused that they should 'stick it out',, I feel that responsibility to speak how I feel, especially when asked for my opinion..

jax

From: littlevader1 <littlevader1@ yahoo.com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] Please Lend your supportTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 4:17 PM

I have been dating a guy that has had hep c for 8 years. At first Ihad to read about the virus to learn more about him and what he wasgoing through. I love this man with my whole heart and soul and Idon't have a clue WHY! He's emotionally unavailable and has a veryshort fuse on some days. Is this the hep c talking to me? Some dayshe's my best friend and we joke and hug (never kiss he won't) he saysits due to bleeding gums, other days I just have to go home and crybecause he's so cold and shows no feeling to me at all or he's hurt myfeelings from being somehow verbally abusive. I don't even know ifthis man loves. My heart tells me he really does but his actions stateotherwise. He's very argumentative and sometimes you think "ok,someones elevator isn't quite going all the way up". My trouble is Iam not happy with him on most days hes so cold and never even hugs mehardly. I am willing to dedicate my

life to this man even though hescrewed his own life up by injecting drugs into his arms and ended upwith this deadly virus but I will not be self centered and leave himbecause of something he isn't doing for me. He has full custody of hisson and he's really a wonderful guy when he isnt snapping or saying"dont start" because I want to know if he really loves or if imwasting my time. He did his treatments a few years ago and doesn't seea doc regular. He is very stubborn. Please help. I would reallyappreciate

it.