I'm New Here...

[Guest guest]

Still new to the Hep C I was diagnosed with 1 1/2 yrs. ago. I'm raising

2 adopted grandchildren ( 5 & 8 ) and have wanted to fall apart many

times but don't have the time or energy to. I'm angry at myself and I'm

scared. I've never felt so alone in my life. I've suffered from

clinical depression and GAD for many years but have spoken and known

many people who could personally relate to what the depression and

anxiety feels like. With the Hep C the only 2 people I've known who had

it are dead. I didn't know until after they died that they had it since

we had lost touch. I know we all contracted it at the same time. They

hadn't changed their lifestyles since 1974 or 75 when we got this so I

know that definitly hastened their deaths. The one had been a friend

for 50 years. I read all the medical " mumbo jumbo " that I can and try

to research homeopathic treatments but I don't think I really know

anymore than I did at the begining. One site or publication says one

thing and another says something else. I'm not going to try to pretend

that I have a positive outlook on all this because I don't want to be

fake. I'm SCARED, I'm TIRED, sooo tired , and I'm so ANGRY at myself

for having been so stupid.