coping with chronic illness...

[Guest guest]

I found this little article doing a search on anger and chronic

illness. This is an excerpt but she goes on to talk about crisis,

anger, renewal, reconstruction, etc.... I wanted to share. The web

site is:

http://www.alpineguild.com/COPING%20WITH%20CHRONIC%20ILLNESS.html

" JoAnn Le Maistre received her Ph.D. in clinical psychology,

delivered a daughter, and learned she had multiple sclerosis all

within the period of a few months. Dr. LeMaistre has developed a

successful practice counseling patients and their families. She is a

sought-after speaker, lecturer, and teacher. Her books, After The

Diagnosis, and the hardbound edition, Beyond Rage, have helped

thousands of chronic illness patients, their families, and health

care providers to cope effectively. Her daughter has now graduated

from college. And Dr. LeMaistre has learned to live a full life, in

spite of the handicaps of her MS. She is an inspirational example of

what it means to be able-hearted when you can no longer be able-

bodied.

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Traditionally, the experience of serious illness has been approached

in two ways: (1) a gloomy perspective of resignation, self-denial,

and helplessness, or (2) a Pollyanna approach that denies altogether

that there has been a real trauma. Both of these perspectives distort

and disguise the reality of chronic illness.

The first perspective views the chronically ill person as a failure.

This is the patient who does not respond to the " miracle " of modern

medicine, and somehow the lack of recovery is often perceived as the

patient's fault. This attitude of blame accounts for some of the

worst psychological abuses of patients by health practitioners and

caretakers, an attitude typified by the too-frequently heard

statement, " Stop complaining. You simply must adjust. " Unfortunately,

the sick person may also adopt this punishing attitude toward himself

or herself. Sadly, the word " adjust " too often

means " resign, " " settle for less than a desirable existence, "

and " surrender. " At its worst, " adjust " is just another way of

saying " You are now a nonperson without the right to experience

strong passions, desires, or fierce and unyielding hope. " All the

anger and blame inherent in this attitude is misdirected: the patient

rather than the disease becomes the target.

The Pollyanna approach is typified by -- and fueled by -- personal

stories or testimonials of complete recovery from extreme illness or

disabling conditions. These stories tug at the heartstrings and catch

the fancy of all who read them. Besides creating false hope by

overplaying the likelihood of complete recovery, these stories

consistently underplay the sadness and feelings of worthlessness that

are part of the legacy of any physical or emotional trauma.

Sometimes, it is useful in social situations to present yourself as a

Pollyanna. When meeting new people and situations, it may be an

advantage for you to let others think you have mastered your disease.

The anxiety of other people is reduced by not having to confront

illness. The danger is that this Pollyanna image may create a barrier

between you and the people who can offer real help.

The resignation viewpoint holds little hope; the Pollyanna viewpoint

holds little reality. "

peace,

Ebony