Getting discouraged - long - sorry

[Guest guest]

Here's the deal.

I started BFL on July 16, 2001. I have been on the plan (working out and

eating) since then.

Around the 20th of August, I drove with the guy I'm seeing to FL to help him

move. I didn't exercise for 6 days. I also didn't eat BFL those 6 days but

I didn't overindulge either.

Other than that one week, I have not missed a workout or taken an

unscheduled free day. I work out every single day (other than my free day)

before I do anything else. I also wait one hour after working out to eat,

making me late for work usually.

I took my start photos in a tankini on July 18th. I took them again on

August 25th. I didn't notice any difference in the front pics but the back

ones of my back looked encouraging (I posted them to the list)

Because I wanted to enter the " official " challenge, I restarted the program

and took photos on September 10th. This time I bought a camera with a timer

and took photos of myself in a tankini and in a 2 piece.

Here's why I am discouraged.

1. I tried BFL last year. I quit because the guy I was dating at the time

was very unsupportive. I did manage to have someone take some really icky

photos of me in a bikini though. Yesterday I finally received my September

10 pictures in the mail (I send them to Photoworks and with mail delay...)

and I compared them with the pictures I already have. You CANNOT tell any

difference between the August 25th and September 10 photos in the tankini.

Ok, yes that was only 2 weeks. However, when I compared side by side my

bikini photos from last year to this year, you cannot tell them apart!

2. I think my biceps are getting bigger. Some of my blouses are getting

tight in the arms. And when I look at my thighs in the mirror, I would

swear they are getting bigger too.

3. I am still basically the same size in pants. I wear a 10 petite in jeans

if I'm going to be at work all day or do something that requires eating a

meal. I wear a 6 petite if I'm only going to be in it for a few hours. I

did try wearing the 6 to work one day and felt like I was being cut in half.

4. I started BFL on July 16 at 133 lbs. I've gone up and down getting as

low as 129 but the other day I weighed a whopping 138! I know I'm supposed

to throw away the scale, but I'm only 5 feet tall! My sister, in her 9th

month of pregnancy didn't even weigh 138!

5. I see my guy the weekend of October 12. I haven't seen him since August

26th. He was so excited I was on BFL. I had hoped that he would see great

results from me by then. (I'm doing this for me, but I don't want to

disappoint him after he hasn't seen me in over a month)

So finally my questions:

1. When you are trying to lose fat/gain muscle definition, is there ever a

point that you " bulk up " first before losing the fat? Is it possible that

the fat just hasn't come off yet but the muscles are there causing me to

look bigger?

2. Should I start counting calories? I only counted calories in the

beginning since the BMR and food calculator on Hussman's site said my BMR

was only 1200 or so calories. However I stopped and have done it only by

portion size.

3. Should I limit my food on free days? Last free day I wasn't too bad. I

did have 2 donuts early on but I fell asleep from 11AM - 3:30PM and missed

lunch and any snacks during my nap. I had a chinese buffet at 4:00 and

fetticini alfredo at 7PM.

4. Should I start adding more cardio? Like an additional non-HIIT 20

minutes a day? Currently I add about 15 minutes 2x a week depending on how

late I am for work.

I will get my measurements and my BF taken at the gym tomorrow. As I said

before, I don't trust them with my measurements since 2 different people

gave me body fat percentages of 32% and 23% days apart.

By the way, if you count from my original start date in July, I would be on

Week 10, Day 4.

If you count from September 10, I'd be on Week 3, Day 4

Thanks for any advice you guys can give.

Ann V.

Tucson, AZ