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Re: Re: OT - kinda long, but funny

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I love it.

sicsica2000 <sicsica2000@...> wrote:

Dam!!!!!!!!! That's one wired dude!!!!! but actually his response

was good and reasonable too.(lol)

Marwa

--- In , Kathe Sabetzadeh <lv2ryd@...>

wrote:

>

> Subject: The funniest Dam story I have ever heard....

> >>

> >>>>Kinda long, but a good one>>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> This is actually a true story and the

> account of the investigation makes it even better...

> >>

> >> The Dam>>

> >>

> >> This is an actual letter sent to a man

> named DeVries by the Pennsylvania Department of

> Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This

> guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's

> letter before you get to the response letter.

> >>

> >>

> >> SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N;

> R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

> >>

> >> Dear Mr. DeVries:

> >>

> >> It has come to the attention of the

> Department of Environmental Quality that there has

> been recent unauthorized activity on the above

> referenced parcel of property. You have been certified

> as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the

> following unauthorized activity:

> >>

> >> Construction and maintenance of two

> wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring

> Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of

> this type of activity.

> >>

> >> A review of the Department's files

> shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore,

> the Department has determined that this activity is

> in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of

>

> the >>Natural Resource and Environmental Protection

> Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being

> sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania

> Compiled Laws, annotated.

> >>

> >> The Department has been informed that

> one or both of the dams partially failed during a

> recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at

> downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature

> are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The

> Department therefore orders you to cease and desist

> all activities at this location, and to restore

> the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all

> wood and brush forming the dams from the stream

> channel. All restoration work shall be completed no

> later than January 31, 2006.

> >>

> >> Please notify this office when the

> restoration has been completed so that a follow-up

> site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.

> >>

> >> Failure to comply with this request or

> any further unauthorized activity on the site may

> result in this case being referred for elevated

> enforcement action..

> >>

> >> We anticipate and would appreciate your

> full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to

> contact me at this office if you ave any questions.

> >>

> >> Sincerely,

> >> L. Price

> >> District Representative and Water

> Management Division.

> >>

> >>

> >> Here is the actual response sent back

> by Mr. DeVries:

> >>

> >> Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N;

> R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming >>County

> >>

> >> Dear Mr. Price,

> >>

> >> Your certified letter dated 12/17/02

> has been handed to me to respond to.

>

> >> I am the legal landowner but not the

> Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run,

> Pennsylvania.

> >>

> >> A couple of beavers are in the (State

> unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining

> two wood " debris " dams across the outlet stream of my

> Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor

> supervise their dam project, I think they would be

> highly offended that you call their skillful use of

> natures building materials " debris. " I would like to

> challenge your department to attempt to emulate their

> dam project any time and/or any place you choose.

> I believe I can safely state there is no way you could

>

> ever match their dam skills, their dam successfulness,

> their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam

> determination and/or their dam work ethic.

> >>

> >> As to your request, I do not think the

> beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam

> permit prior to the start of this type of dam

> activity.

> >>

> >> My first dam question to you is:

> >> (1) Are you trying to discriminate

> against my Spring Pond Beavers, or

> >> (2) do you require all beavers

> throughout this State to conform to said dam request?

> >>

> >> If you are not discriminating against

> these particular beavers, through the Freedom of

> Information Act, I request completed copies of all

> those other applicable beaver dam permits that have

> been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a

> dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams,

> of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection

> Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being

> sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania

> Compiled Laws, annotated.

> >>

> >> I have several concerns. My first

> concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal

> representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are

> financially destitute and are unable to pay for said

> representation -- so the State will have to provide

> them with a dam lawyer.

>

> The Department's dam concern that

> either one or both of the dams failed during a recent

> rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a

> natural occurrence, which the Department is required

> to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring

> Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and

> calling their dam names.

> >>

> >> If you want the stream " restored " to a

> dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers --

> but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously

> did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they

> being unable to read English.

> >>

> >> In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond

> Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams

> as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green

> and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights

> than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the

> Department of Natural Resources and Environmental

> Protection lives up to its name, it should protect

> the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment

> (Beavers' Dams).

> >>

> >> So, as far as the beavers and I are

> concerned, this dam case can be referred for more

> elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait

> until 1/31/2006? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under

> the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or

> your dam staff to contact/harass them then.

> >>

> >> In conclusion, I would like to bring to

> your attention to a real environmental quality,

> health, problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears

> are actually defecating in our woods! I definitely

> believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears

>

> and leave the beavers alone.

> >>

> >> If you are going to investigate the

> beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful

> where they dump!

>

> >> Being unable to comply with your dam

> request, and being unable to contact you on your dam

> answering machine, I am sending this response to your

> dam office.

> >>

> >>

> >> THANK YOU.

> >> RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

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