Guest guest Posted July 6, 2006 Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 I love it. sicsica2000 <sicsica2000@...> wrote: Dam!!!!!!!!! That's one wired dude!!!!! but actually his response was good and reasonable too.(lol) Marwa --- In , Kathe Sabetzadeh <lv2ryd@...> wrote: > > Subject: The funniest Dam story I have ever heard.... > >> > >>>>Kinda long, but a good one>> > >> > >> > >> > >> This is actually a true story and the > account of the investigation makes it even better... > >> > >> The Dam>> > >> > >> This is an actual letter sent to a man > named DeVries by the Pennsylvania Department of > Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This > guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's > letter before you get to the response letter. > >> > >> > >> SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; > R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County > >> > >> Dear Mr. DeVries: > >> > >> It has come to the attention of the > Department of Environmental Quality that there has > been recent unauthorized activity on the above > referenced parcel of property. You have been certified > as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the > following unauthorized activity: > >> > >> Construction and maintenance of two > wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring > Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of > this type of activity. > >> > >> A review of the Department's files > shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, > the Department has determined that this activity is > in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of > > the >>Natural Resource and Environmental Protection > Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being > sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania > Compiled Laws, annotated. > >> > >> The Department has been informed that > one or both of the dams partially failed during a > recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at > downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature > are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The > Department therefore orders you to cease and desist > all activities at this location, and to restore > the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all > wood and brush forming the dams from the stream > channel. All restoration work shall be completed no > later than January 31, 2006. > >> > >> Please notify this office when the > restoration has been completed so that a follow-up > site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. > >> > >> Failure to comply with this request or > any further unauthorized activity on the site may > result in this case being referred for elevated > enforcement action.. > >> > >> We anticipate and would appreciate your > full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to > contact me at this office if you ave any questions. > >> > >> Sincerely, > >> L. Price > >> District Representative and Water > Management Division. > >> > >> > >> Here is the actual response sent back > by Mr. DeVries: > >> > >> Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; > R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming >>County > >> > >> Dear Mr. Price, > >> > >> Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 > has been handed to me to respond to. > > >> I am the legal landowner but not the > Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run, > Pennsylvania. > >> > >> A couple of beavers are in the (State > unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining > two wood " debris " dams across the outlet stream of my > Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor > supervise their dam project, I think they would be > highly offended that you call their skillful use of > natures building materials " debris. " I would like to > challenge your department to attempt to emulate their > dam project any time and/or any place you choose. > I believe I can safely state there is no way you could > > ever match their dam skills, their dam successfulness, > their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam > determination and/or their dam work ethic. > >> > >> As to your request, I do not think the > beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam > permit prior to the start of this type of dam > activity. > >> > >> My first dam question to you is: > >> (1) Are you trying to discriminate > against my Spring Pond Beavers, or > >> (2) do you require all beavers > throughout this State to conform to said dam request? > >> > >> If you are not discriminating against > these particular beavers, through the Freedom of > Information Act, I request completed copies of all > those other applicable beaver dam permits that have > been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a > dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, > of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection > Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being > sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania > Compiled Laws, annotated. > >> > >> I have several concerns. My first > concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal > representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are > financially destitute and are unable to pay for said > representation -- so the State will have to provide > them with a dam lawyer. > > The Department's dam concern that > either one or both of the dams failed during a recent > rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a > natural occurrence, which the Department is required > to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring > Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and > calling their dam names. > >> > >> If you want the stream " restored " to a > dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- > but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously > did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they > being unable to read English. > >> > >> In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond > Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams > as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green > and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights > than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the > Department of Natural Resources and Environmental > Protection lives up to its name, it should protect > the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment > (Beavers' Dams). > >> > >> So, as far as the beavers and I are > concerned, this dam case can be referred for more > elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait > until 1/31/2006? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under > the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or > your dam staff to contact/harass them then. > >> > >> In conclusion, I would like to bring to > your attention to a real environmental quality, > health, problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears > are actually defecating in our woods! I definitely > believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears > > and leave the beavers alone. > >> > >> If you are going to investigate the > beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful > where they dump! > > >> Being unable to comply with your dam > request, and being unable to contact you on your dam > answering machine, I am sending this response to your > dam office. > >> > >> > >> THANK YOU. > >> RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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