depression

[Guest guest]

I'm cross posting (put this on another list, too) so, sorry

for the repeat, but I really need to vent...

I am so depressed right now that I can hardly stand it.

I'm off my Enbrel for about three weeks and crashing so hard that

I've been crying all day. Trying to control it while I run errands

and such. Partly the pain, which is just overwhelming, but mostly

just plain old depression, and there's just nothing I can do about it.

Of course, there's the fact that my life (at least the life I knew

before) is gone. I used to be a performing singer/songwriter and even

with meds I know there's no way my fingers will be able to be strong

enough to practice and perform with the guitar. That's the worst, I

think, losing my music. Not to mention everything else.

Then today my new car got egged, inside and out, I had to change

pharmacies and am losing the people I trusted and knew, I had to be

up and active for most of the day and my schizophrenic brother is

homeless again.

It just feels like too much to bear

Thx for listening, tho I hope it gets better when I can start

my shots again next week...