Re: How long have any of you been able to work

July 11, 2006

Thank you

[ ] How long have any of you been able to work

Well, I have been away for the weekend so I am getting caught up.

About Lynn's comments, I think for me, I feel that way about

myself. I feel that I have to keep pushing, as long as I can until

I can no longer push not because that is the way " WE " should do it

but that I feel that I have no other choice. I have only had this

for one year and I am filled with terror. I have gone through the

roller coaster of emotions and battle it everyday I use my hands to

make a living, what else can I do? I have put myself and my family

in a position that we are dependant on my income to live, for

insurance, etc, etc. I have given some thought to making some

career changes but not on what I do for a living but how I do it.

Because I love what I do, I want to continue to find a way to

participate in it as much as I am able.

Everyday, I feel like ok, what do I have to do to get through this

day? Stretch, take my meds, wear braces while scanning and at night

to help with the pain. Rest my hands as much as I can, etc. I use my

handicap placard because I need it. I use my physical resources as

wisely as I know how, so I can spread it out a little more. As you

know there are good days and bad. I don't clean as much as I used

to, I enlist my kids for help that they should be doing anyway and I

pay for help with little things, like cleaning the car when I can

so there is more of me to go around for the things that are

important to me. I also plan on working until I am 65 but I also

know that the RA may take over at anytime. I just hope for the best

and see what happens. Am I sucking it up? Absolutely! For today.

It keeps me stepping onto the train, rather than in front of it.

For me it is a coping mechanism.

I think her intentions were good just a little rough with the

delivery. I do not post often but I read almost everyday, I am so

glad to have such a great bunch of people to commiserate with. The

best thing that I have learned from this stinky disease is to let go

and let God, really. I have learned a lot from this and have grown

as person. When I was in my first stages of grief over this, I

always prayed to God " Why me " After several monthes of this, a

quiet voice spoke to spirit and said " Why not you? " I just hope to

be a role model for others as well as reminder to myself that we can

do it one day at time. Cassy

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