Re: coping with chronic illness...(((Joanne)))

October 29, 2006

(((Hugs)))

Joanne, I am touched by your msg to me. Wow, a stroke at 17?! I

complained about missing out on my 30s. Your journey actually makes

me realize things could have been much worse for me. I know this

anyway but it helps to be reminded of such things. You have endured

quite a lot. Yet, your message shows a sense of strength in spite of

it all. I know what you mean about the dry eyes things. It's the

same way with me.

I understand what you are going through. I don't think there's

anyone here who doesn't unfortunately. We have all been there at one

time or another. Please e-mail me personally if you ever need to

talk about things.

My daughter was there for 11 years to keep me strong. She was my

purpose throughout the disease. There was no time to think about what

the disease was doing. My fear was I wouldn't be around to raise

her. She was in a wheelchair and also had a very bad seizure

disorder that developed around 7. Thankfully, the S-- word wasn't

the problem, instead I prayed to God to allow me to live long enough

to raise her.

Not being independent IS a problem, however. It doesn't mean I will

stop trying to be -- who knows things could change tomorrow, but it

is what lead me to the article and it rang so true with my emotions

and what I read here. I think holidays have a tendency to bring

about these emotions also. I want to be able to give to family

members the way I used to. Maybe it's to feel useful, who knows.

Hopefully, I will be able to do that somehow. It would be nice if it

didn't matter with our employers but it does matter and co-workers

become resentful if you are treated differently. I'm working on the

anger at the disease and it usually subsides after a little while. I

have been told I sing when I get a new job, that my personality

becomes lighter. I am sure it's true.

I wish you the best. Hang in there.

Ebony

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