RE: New - Noda getting old!

[Guest guest]

Barb,

I'm so glad you found this group. There are some really great people here.

This group has helped me deal with the memories of the past. I hope it can

do the same for you. some people here have given up on their nada, some

still have a relationship. We all want to find mental peace. Our nadas

bring so much chaos to our life and we are working together to keep the

chaos away. I'm so sorry you are in pain. I hope that by posting and

reading others post you can find the peace you are seeking. We are here to

listen to you and support you. We've all been there. For me it was so nice

to find people who had experience many of the things I experienced and felt

many the same things I felt. Unless you've been a KO (children of a BP),

it's very hard to understand what we have gone through.

Again welcome

New - Noda getting old!

Hi Everyone:

I'm new to the group. I gave up on Noda about 3 years ago when her

behavior became way too painful for me to bear. In addition, she was

upsetting my then 3 yr. old son!

My Noda is getting old. It is only getting worse. My father is very

old (80 yrs. old) and can no longer fulfill his previous role of

keeping her from behaving completely bonkers!

I am in such pain with the memories from the past.

Has anyone in this group " given up " -- and has an older mom -- and

just wants to try to find some sort of mental peace in their own

lives?

I am in so much pain -- does anyone here feel this way?

Thank you so much for writing back to me! I desperately need support!

(E-mail me privately if you prefer. -- Thanks!)

Barb

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[Guest guest]

Welcome aboard, Barb! You're in the right place, and I (we) totally

understand what you're going through. You're not alone with this.....

all of us have dealt with similar feelings and experiences.

See my comments inserted below............

Barb wrote:

> I'm new to the group.

Welcome!

> I gave up on Noda about 3 years ago when her

> behavior became way too painful for me to bear.

So did I! Exactly 3 years ago. And for basically the same reason too.

> My Noda is getting old.

Yup! Mine is 80 now, and she's been an alcoholic since the 60s, or

should I say that's when she began the drink-after-work-to-relax

routine.

> It is only getting worse.

Yup! It never gets better, only worse.

> My father is very old (80 yrs. old)

Mine's 88 and still going strong, but he and mother have been divorced

since the 50s. Dad's not BPD, but my sole sibling, a younger brother,

is.

> and can no longer fulfill his previous role of

> keeping her from behaving completely bonkers!

No one could keep mother from going bonkers, not even me, but for way

too long I thought I could fix her problems. Boy, was I wrong!

> I am in such pain with the memories from the past.

Yes, the memories are very painful, but don't despair, okay? Things'll

start getting better now that you've joined us here. You'll see!!!

> Has anyone in this group " given up "

Yup! I threw in the towel, which was the most difficult thing I've ever

done. And it took 1-1/2 years before I finally came to grips with it

and began to heal.

> and just wants to try to find some sort of mental peace in

> their own lives?

That's what we all us KOs (kid of a BPD parent) want...... peace,

sanity, and normalcy. Our nadas (mothers) have done a great job robbing

us of that, and " outsiders " just don't understand the dynamics. No one

does, except those of us who have been through it ourselves.

> I am in so much pain -- does anyone here feel this way?

Hang in there, Barb! It does get better, once we feel validated. And

there's plenty of validation here!

Smiles!

Carol