Writing from Penny-education and disability...

[Guest guest]

Below is a writing from me. I did work as a professional journalist,

for a group of newspapers, for a couple of years until my health

made this very difficult and I also was a published writer in

college. I love to write and almost daily journal my struggles with

fibromyalgia, asthma, allergies and now, probably rheumatoid

arthritis. This journaling helps me think and perhaps, someday, will

end up in a magazine...or book, who knows what the future will bring

for any of us. Thanks in advance to those who take the time to read

this. Hugs, Penny

Hi!

I have not seriously tried to get disablity yet, but I have been

told that because I went back to school in my 40's and got my

college degree, I would have a harder time than if I would have kept

waitressing and then went for my disablity after not being able to

waitress anymore.

It seems that how disablity works is this: If they think you can do

any money making work at all, they will not grant your disability.

If you are like me and have to rest after working and can only

really do some housework on days that you do not work, you do not

qualify. I think it really sucks that going back to school and

working for my degree for four years in my late 40's cost me getting

disability. Because I have computer skills and writing skills, I

will not qualify.

I made as much as $20,000 per year waitressing back in the 1990's

and $15,000 waitressing, part-time per year,in 2001(March) to 2003

(March)and I can no longer waitress. I am making $6.75 per hour as

a sales associate and I graduated with a 4.00 GPA in Marketing in

2000. I make less than $8,000 per year. If I was not married, I

would be living in poverty. It is really, really, rotten that this

has happened to me.

It has impacted our retirement savings as I obviously am not saving

anything. It has put stress on my husband as almost the complete

financial burden is on him. It has put stress on me as I feel

guilty that I did not achieve the promise that I had. I was so

smart in high school, probably the smartest girl in my class of 165

and one of the top 5% intellectually. I was the first girl to

represent my highschool at a state math event. In 1968, that was a

big deal. I am sure that many of you can share stories even more

dramatic than my story.

I feel so cheated of what I wanted to achieve with my life. Now, I

am not saying that my life is meaningless and I have achieved much

as my illness gave me time to do artistic endeavors until my illness

took some of those abilities away. I have substituted other

adventures as some are closed to me.

I did make the decision willingly to stop my education and waitress

throughout my children's growing years. Waitressing was very good

to me and I made tons of friends and had a great time. I had $1,000

weeks at my peak. Now I can not even imagine doing anything

remotely that physical. I find it enough of a challenge to take

care of myself and do most of the house work and work an average of

26 hours a week.

Ten years ago, I waitressed five shifts a weeks, went to school

taking 12 college credits a semester and kept up my home and had two

kids at home and one in college. I slept only 5-6 hours a night to

get all of that done and I still did the banners for my church, was

active in parents club and the high school booster club and was an

art volunteer in the grade school.

Thanks for reading my descriptive vent...Hugs, Penny