Do two Abortions and get one FREE!!!

[Guest guest]

Whilst Kiran is still trying to master the art of Copying and pasting, here

is an article of mine, which was published in a magazine a little while ago.

It concerns advertising by doctors.:

Do two Abortions and get one FREE!!!

What is the difference between the noble profession of Medicine and a common

run of the mill business? Both of them have clients. Both render a service

or supply goods. Both require an investment. Both are meant to run on a

profit. But there is one main difference. What is it? Why - advertisements

of course! We do not advertise! But now that the courts have decided that

medicine is a business and is liable under the consumer protection act, its

time that we started behaving like businessmen (or women). So, for starters,

here is a preview of some of the ads we are going to see in the future!

Attention! Attention!

Now ladies you can be certain. DNA Certain!

The Pathology Laboratory will check it for you.

All sorts of stains analyzed. Special bulk rates! 'Bill' may be paid in

installments.

RECYCLE BIN LADEN ?

Yes! Solve all ills by cycling!

Loss of Weight? Cycle!

Loss of Appetite? Cycle!

Loss of Car? Cycle!

If you don't get well first, you can repeat the therapy. This is recycling.

Exclusively at Dr. Kreb's wonderful cycle therapy centre.

FREE! FREE! FREE!

For all flatulent patients - a never before and never after opportunity!

Free air-time of 50 minutes with consultation.

See what our regular customers say - " It's like walking on air! "

Meet us at Air India Counter.

Off Peak Discount

Get an abortion done when you are not pregnant and receive an off-peak

discount of 50% on the regular price. Scheme is available only for a limited

time (i.e. until you get pregnant), so HURRY! Contact Yumteepee Hospital for

further details.

When you itch, you should start from SCRATCH!

Yes! Scratch Skin Hospital is the right place for all sorts of skin

diseases.

Free application of ointment, when you buy a whole month's supply of

ointment from the hospital stores. *

* Conditions apply.

The COOL COOL Offer

Collect five prescriptions and get one consultation absolutely FREE!

All prescriptions should be in one patient's name.

All prescriptions should be for one disease.

All prescriptions should be not more than a year old.

Only at Bilwadkar Hospital.

We do not have a branch anywhere else.

Free Gift for all Indoor patients

You are assured of a free gift when you stay at Bakshi's Hospital.

You can choose from a wide variety of gifts like a colourful hospital gown,

an attractive thermometer and a spacious bedpan. Every month a special draw

will decide the lucky patient who will get to spend two days and one night

with any nurse of his choice! (For medical purposes only).

Family photograph at half rate!

Remember the number of times when your doctor advised you to first take one

X-ray of your chest. Then, nodding seriously, he would advice you to take

one X-ray of each and every family member. NOW you can avoid all that.

Once and for all take out a family photograph X-ray at our clinic and you

can tell your doctor to see all that he wants in one go!

Free photo album with every family photograph X-ray. X-rays are available in

a choice of three astounding colours - Zingy Orange, Titillating Green and

Frigid Blue.

Only at Super-X Clinic.

Wahe Guru Clinic now offers new hope for the 'weak'!

We have opened a new section called the MATES section.

Come once and be 'satisfied'.

Those who come here, go out shouting " I-MATE! I-MATE! "

Wow! Isn't that awesome? Now lets all agitate to be allowed to advertise.

Any takers?

Kishore Shah 1974

[Guest guest]

Super Kishoreda , specially the free air time of 50

minutes.You have also helped me solve a puzzle cause

whenever we have a MGIMS gathering at least three

members, I must name them,Shyam,Rajesh Rai & Firoz are

always engrossed in a conversation in hush hush

tones.The only word that is repested very often during

this conversation is I-Mate & once out of sheer

curiosity I happened to ask Shyam what the I-mate was

and he promptly showed me his palmtop but I always

swallowed that with a pinch of salt now after reading

ur mail it's amply clear that all of them had been

visiting the Wahe Guru clinic and it was more to do

with his laptop rather than his palmtop. Kiran(76)

--- Shah wrote:

> Whilst Kiran is still trying to master the art of

> Copying and pasting, here

> is an article of mine, which was published in a

> magazine a little while ago.

> It concerns advertising by doctors.:

>

> Do two Abortions and get one FREE!!!

>

>

> What is the difference between the noble profession

> of Medicine and a common

> run of the mill business? Both of them have clients.

> Both render a service

> or supply goods. Both require an investment. Both

> are meant to run on a

> profit. But there is one main difference. What is

> it? Why - advertisements

> of course! We do not advertise! But now that the

> courts have decided that

> medicine is a business and is liable under the

> consumer protection act, its

> time that we started behaving like businessmen (or

> women). So, for starters,

> here is a preview of some of the ads we are going to

> see in the future!

>

> Attention! Attention!

> Now ladies you can be certain. DNA Certain!

> The Pathology Laboratory will check it for

> you.

> All sorts of stains analyzed. Special bulk rates!

> 'Bill' may be paid in

> installments.

>

> RECYCLE BIN LADEN ?

> Yes! Solve all ills by cycling!

> Loss of Weight? Cycle!

> Loss of Appetite? Cycle!

> Loss of Car? Cycle!

> If you don't get well first, you can repeat the

> therapy. This is recycling.

> Exclusively at Dr. Kreb's wonderful cycle therapy

> centre.

>

> FREE! FREE! FREE!

> For all flatulent patients - a never before and

> never after opportunity!

> Free air-time of 50 minutes with consultation.

> See what our regular customers say - " It's like

> walking on air! "

> Meet us at Air India Counter.

>

> Off Peak Discount

> Get an abortion done when you are not pregnant and

> receive an off-peak

> discount of 50% on the regular price. Scheme is

> available only for a limited

> time (i.e. until you get pregnant), so HURRY!

> Contact Yumteepee Hospital for

> further details.

>

> When you itch, you should start from SCRATCH!

> Yes! Scratch Skin Hospital is the right place for

> all sorts of skin

> diseases.

> Free application of ointment, when you buy a whole

> month's supply of

> ointment from the hospital stores. *

> * Conditions apply.

>

> The COOL COOL Offer

> Collect five prescriptions and get one consultation

> absolutely FREE!

> All prescriptions should be in one patient's name.

> All prescriptions should be for one disease.

> All prescriptions should be not more than a year

> old.

> Only at Bilwadkar Hospital.

> We do not have a branch anywhere else.

>

> Free Gift for all Indoor patients

> You are assured of a free gift when you stay at

> Bakshi's Hospital.

> You can choose from a wide variety of gifts like a

> colourful hospital gown,

> an attractive thermometer and a spacious bedpan.

> Every month a special draw

> will decide the lucky patient who will get to spend

> two days and one night

> with any nurse of his choice! (For medical purposes

> only).

>

> Family photograph at half rate!

> Remember the number of times when your doctor

> advised you to first take one

> X-ray of your chest. Then, nodding seriously, he

> would advice you to take

> one X-ray of each and every family member. NOW you

> can avoid all that.

> Once and for all take out a family photograph X-ray

> at our clinic and you

> can tell your doctor to see all that he wants in one

> go!

> Free photo album with every family photograph X-ray.

> X-rays are available in

> a choice of three astounding colours - Zingy Orange,

> Titillating Green and

> Frigid Blue.

> Only at Super-X Clinic.

>

> Wahe Guru Clinic now offers new hope for the 'weak'!

> We have opened a new section called the MATES

> section.

> Come once and be 'satisfied'.

> Those who come here, go out shouting " I-MATE!

> I-MATE! "

>

> Wow! Isn't that awesome? Now lets all agitate to be

> allowed to advertise.

> Any takers?

>

> Kishore Shah 1974

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Yup!

FREE EYE CHECK UP!

Pay consultation fees for only one eye.

The other is absolutely free!

Kishore, your ads were great!

:-D

Ravin '82

[Guest guest]

u do have a vivid imagination...

With regards

L/M Prasad

(lp1960@...)

<outbind://7/My%20Documents/My%20Pictures/GIFS/floers/bouqet1.gif>

Wish a very happy and cheerful day keep smiling

Do two Abortions and get one FREE!!!

Whilst Kiran is still trying to master the art of Copying and pasting, here

is an article of mine, which was published in a magazine a little while ago.

It concerns advertising by doctors.:

Do two Abortions and get one FREE!!!

What is the difference between the noble profession of Medicine and a common

run of the mill business? Both of them have clients. Both render a service

or supply goods. Both require an investment. Both are meant to run on a

profit. But there is one main difference. What is it? Why - advertisements

of course! We do not advertise! But now that the courts have decided that

medicine is a business and is liable under the consumer protection act, its

time that we started behaving like businessmen (or women). So, for starters,

here is a preview of some of the ads we are going to see in the future!

Attention! Attention!

Now ladies you can be certain. DNA Certain!

The Pathology Laboratory will check it for you.

All sorts of stains analyzed. Special bulk rates! 'Bill' may be paid in

installments.

RECYCLE BIN LADEN ?

Yes! Solve all ills by cycling!

Loss of Weight? Cycle!

Loss of Appetite? Cycle!

Loss of Car? Cycle!

If you don't get well first, you can repeat the therapy. This is recycling.

Exclusively at Dr. Kreb's wonderful cycle therapy centre.

FREE! FREE! FREE!

For all flatulent patients - a never before and never after opportunity!

Free air-time of 50 minutes with consultation.

See what our regular customers say - " It's like walking on air! "

Meet us at Air India Counter.

Off Peak Discount

Get an abortion done when you are not pregnant and receive an off-peak

discount of 50% on the regular price. Scheme is available only for a limited

time (i.e. until you get pregnant), so HURRY! Contact Yumteepee Hospital for

further details.

When you itch, you should start from SCRATCH!

Yes! Scratch Skin Hospital is the right place for all sorts of skin

diseases.

Free application of ointment, when you buy a whole month's supply of

ointment from the hospital stores. *

* Conditions apply.

The COOL COOL Offer

Collect five prescriptions and get one consultation absolutely FREE!

All prescriptions should be in one patient's name.

All prescriptions should be for one disease.

All prescriptions should be not more than a year old.

Only at Bilwadkar Hospital.

We do not have a branch anywhere else.

Free Gift for all Indoor patients

You are assured of a free gift when you stay at Bakshi's Hospital.

You can choose from a wide variety of gifts like a colourful hospital gown,

an attractive thermometer and a spacious bedpan. Every month a special draw

will decide the lucky patient who will get to spend two days and one night

with any nurse of his choice! (For medical purposes only).

Family photograph at half rate!

Remember the number of times when your doctor advised you to first take one

X-ray of your chest. Then, nodding seriously, he would advice you to take

one X-ray of each and every family member. NOW you can avoid all that.

Once and for all take out a family photograph X-ray at our clinic and you

can tell your doctor to see all that he wants in one go!

Free photo album with every family photograph X-ray. X-rays are available in

a choice of three astounding colours - Zingy Orange, Titillating Green and

Frigid Blue.

Only at Super-X Clinic.

Wahe Guru Clinic now offers new hope for the 'weak'!

We have opened a new section called the MATES section.

Come once and be 'satisfied'.

Those who come here, go out shouting " I-MATE! I-MATE! "

Wow! Isn't that awesome? Now lets all agitate to be allowed to advertise.

Any takers?

Kishore Shah 1974