Guest guest Posted December 31, 2002 Report Share Posted December 31, 2002 Yes I shall Re: Fear--Margaret Hi and Bev, Good to hear from you. It's like a funeral home around here - I mean on the list! , I'm hoping to get up to Seattle for 's visit early February - it'll be lovely to meet you - kind of assuming you'll be there. Bev - you asked what are my current thoughts on the money/earning a living front? This morning I feel kind of bouyed up with a sense of a new energy emerging in me. I've been facilitating the Work on a small basis with a weekly group, some one-on-one, have a few presentations arranged for the new year - and wanting this to expand into a more fulltime occupation. I take baby steps and then I hold back - I get paralyzed with fear. There's been so much confusion and angst over this - I've been all over the map with different states of mind, mostly powerlessness, uselessness, not good enough, not evolved enough..don't live the Work enough to be talking about it..all the stuff about charging for my time - this one is loaded for me. My inner child is also fearful about my getting too busy- i seem to need lots of downtime in order to feel peaceful. Some of this fear stems from caretaking my late husband for many years and raising kids at the same time - I completely ignored my own needs. I work on this by asking the child in me what she feels comfortable about undertaking. This fear part seems to be easing up a bit when I promise her I won't take on more than she's ready for. What's the worst that can happen if I try to bring out the Work more in my city? I'll get too stressed. I'll be happy! There's too much ego here to be talking about the Work. People will think I'm crazy to deny 'real' problems in the world. I'll feel free. I'm worried that I enjoy 'helping' just because it makes me feel good. My motives are not pure enough. I'm not vibrant and funny like is. Thanks Bev. Love, margaret -- In Loving-what-is , " BGarland " <bgarland@m...> wrote: > Dear Margaret, > > It's so silent on the list while the Cleanse is happening. I feel compelled > to write back to you, but I don't really have anything else to add. You said > you've done so much work on this financial independence issue already. What > are the current thoughts you're working with? > > Love, > Bev Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2002 Report Share Posted December 31, 2002 I forgot to add that her biggest fear was that she would end up broke and homeless. I told her many times that I thought it was no accident the universe had put us together. I was supporting myself and helping her through her illness yet the way I handled money and my prospects for the future were not reassuring to her and just increased her fears. She was therefore unavailable to me and consequentially increased my insecurities. So she became more and more fearful and I became more and more insecure. I told her more than once that I believed the moment she stopped worrying about how I made my meager (by her standards) living, I would then become rich. To make a long story short, as her cancer grew and she naturally became more preoccupied with her illness and stopped worrying about how I made a living, money started flooding into my life. I don't know if it was just a coincidence but I think it possible that as we both learned our lessons the universe noticed and passed us to go on to the next one. Bob Re: Fear--Margaret Hi and Bev, Good to hear from you. It's like a funeral home around here - I mean on the list! , I'm hoping to get up to Seattle for 's visit early February - it'll be lovely to meet you - kind of assuming you'll be there. Bev - you asked what are my current thoughts on the money/earning a living front? This morning I feel kind of bouyed up with a sense of a new energy emerging in me. I've been facilitating the Work on a small basis with a weekly group, some one-on-one, have a few presentations arranged for the new year - and wanting this to expand into a more fulltime occupation. I take baby steps and then I hold back - I get paralyzed with fear. There's been so much confusion and angst over this - I've been all over the map with different states of mind, mostly powerlessness, uselessness, not good enough, not evolved enough..don't live the Work enough to be talking about it..all the stuff about charging for my time - this one is loaded for me. My inner child is also fearful about my getting too busy- i seem to need lots of downtime in order to feel peaceful. Some of this fear stems from caretaking my late husband for many years and raising kids at the same time - I completely ignored my own needs. I work on this by asking the child in me what she feels comfortable about undertaking. This fear part seems to be easing up a bit when I promise her I won't take on more than she's ready for. What's the worst that can happen if I try to bring out the Work more in my city? I'll get too stressed. I'll be happy! There's too much ego here to be talking about the Work. People will think I'm crazy to deny 'real' problems in the world. I'll feel free. I'm worried that I enjoy 'helping' just because it makes me feel good. My motives are not pure enough. I'm not vibrant and funny like is. Thanks Bev. Love, margaret -- In Loving-what-is , " BGarland " <bgarland@m...> wrote: > Dear Margaret, > > It's so silent on the list while the Cleanse is happening. I feel compelled > to write back to you, but I don't really have anything else to add. You said > you've done so much work on this financial independence issue already. What > are the current thoughts you're working with? > > Love, > Bev Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.