so sorry for the cross-post but this is the easiest way........ (OT)

January 3, 2006

to let you all know why I have been MIA here lately. My Rheumatoid

Arthritis is not under control and therefore, my fibromyalgia and depression

has hit bottom as well. I have been in pretty bad pain everyday and have

lost interest in just about everything. This is the first time in over a

week I have been on the pc. I go to my RA dr. on Thursday and he is

starting me on Remicade infusion either that day or soon after. So,

hopefully once that gets going, I am hoping the pain subsides and then, the

fibro pain and the depression should subside as well. The fibro was under

very good control for a long time until the RA started to progress like it

has here lately. The medication worked until the RA started to progress.

So, I know all this is because of the RA progression and hopefully once it

gets under control things should be back to normal for me. At least,

whatever " normal " is. LOL!! Please forgive me and I am really tying to get

back into daily life. Luckily, I do have good support here at home and in

the great groups I am in. I am so sorry for not letting you all know this

sooner, but it is embarrassing for me to talk about because I don't want

anyone to feel like I am looking for sympathy as that is the furtherest

thing from my mind. I know others out there have it far worse than I and I

always pray for them. I don't know how to pray for myself. And I feel,

they need my prayers worse than me. Plus, I am only 34 years old and being

so much in pain, so depressed and so sick, I feel bad about being that age

w/ so much going on with me. I am not good at putting all this into words,

so please don't take anything personally here. I am not looking for

sympathy, I just want you all to know why I have not been around lately. I

hope I have offended anyone, that is not my intentions either. I just don't

want my families and my groups families to think I just left without a word.

So, please forgive me for being MIA and I am going to work very, very hard

on coming back like my old self.

Thank you all for reading this and I am truly sorry for laying it out.

My love to all of you along with Best Wishes for A Wonderful New Year!!

Anita ez

North Carolina

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