Happy Holidays / Update From Me

[Guest guest]

Happy Holidays to you. Hopefully Santa will bring you a magic pill

to recover from PSSD.

I forget where I post updates sometimes. I don't think I've posted

here for a while though. So anyhow, here's my update. I was

recovering from a variety of damage that the psychiatric medications

did to me. I had a decent life actually. I was partying almost

every week and having a blast all summer and fall. I noticed that

with one particular girl that I got to know very well, I could

actually have around a 75% recovery of PSSD but ONLY when I thought

of her sexually. No other girls regardless of physical beauty could

reverse the PSSD. Unfortunately, there is the " friend zone " and that

relationship never came to pass. I truly believe that if that

relationship came to be I would have recovered almost fully and

possibly permanently.

I unfortunately had a major setback in November 2008 from drinking

too much alcohol though. Apparently drinking too much alcohol

triggered a " withdrawal flareup " and that caused me to have intense

insomnia. To worsen things, in the previous weeks, I was faced with

a lot of life stressors such as social rejection, loss of money,

loneliness and I even got a sore throat which required antibiotics

which affected my CNS also.

I took OTC medications like aspirin, Tylenol Allergy, Coldeeze,

Tylenol PM and that messed my CNS up even more causing worse

insomnia. The panic from the insomnia let to electric shocks in the

head which forced me back to the doctor for some 10mg valium, the

only thing that stopped those sensations in the past. I figured it

was either take the valium or go into inpatient and get put on a med

cocktail again.

The first dose of valium caused a wide range of emotional states.

Maybe every 30 minutes, my emotional state would change. I became

high libido, high energy, full of life, almost fully recovered from

damages and then I would cycle into a super ultra depressed feeling,

to super anxious to indifferent etc., laughing too much etc. etc.

After the first night of valium-induced sleep I awoke with burning

sensations all over my body which is normal for benzodiazapines. My

libido was completely gone again but at the same time I was extremely

chilled out. I took another pill of valium and became ultra chilled

again. I took about five 10mg valium pills total over a 3 week

period. I stopped the valium because I didn't want to become

addicted again.

My CNS is completely messed up again. I have full PSSD, insomnia,

stiffness in muscles, lack of motivation, depression. I feel like

I've lost over a year of recovery time just from this incident. My

advice to all of you is to watch your alcohol and OTC medication

intake, it could hasten your recovery. Oddly enough, notice that the

first pill of valium caused a PSSD recovery for a little while. Now,

I don't suggest that you run out and get valium or anything because

then you'll end up with insomnia and PSSD and that sucks.

Anyhow, I know I need to take it very easy again. Cheating the

recovery protocol always ends up in disaster. On another forum, it

was predicted that if I stick to the recovery protocol I could have

full recovery in 3 years but I am of course skeptical. That would

mean a 1000+ day challenge where I would have to stay in my limbic

state of mind instead of my cortical state of mind, eating healthy

every single meal of the day and avoiding almost any kind of

stressor. It seems more impossible than a 2 minute mile...