Re: Unhappy hubby

[Guest guest]

HI Sierra,

Sorry to hear your hubby isn't cooperative with your RA. Does he know

much about it? Maybe download some info from the net for him. If he

knows more it might make him understand you more. I don't have RA but

do have fibro so I know about the fatigue part. Just do what you can.

Try and get rest tonight.

warm hugs,

Debbie L

>

> Yesterday my husband expressed frustration with being the only one

> concerned about the yard and outside projects. The way he expressed

> himself felt judgemental and lacking in understanding about my RA. We

> normally get along great, but last night we really struggled to

> communicate. Fatigue is a hard one for him to understand. He doesn't

> like some of the changes he sees in me. My self-esteem was shaken by

> his attitude toward me--I don't feel as loved and valued as I have in

> the past. The conversation affected my sleep and the flavor of my day

> today.

>

> Sierra

>

[Guest guest]

It's so hard when loved ones don't understand. Don't let it get to your

self esteem. YOU know it's real, HE just needs to be educated. It's really

hard to communicate when he's frustrated and you're fatigued and in pain.

Keep trying to communicate with him! Maybe forward something like the

" Spoons " discussion that pops up here now and then to him, or Annie's letter

from a few days ago, to help start the conversation going. He has lost a

lot, too, since he's lost the you he used to know, and he's probably having

a hard time understanding it. Give him time, and gently help him along.

My hubby didn't get the fatigue at all at first, he thought I should just be

able to push through it. It took a while, some reading, and some going to

the doctor with me, but he has the idea now. He's actually swung the other

way too far, gets after me if I try to do anything! He found me a t-shirt

last week that says " Fibromyalgia sucks! " and told me to wear it on my bad

days - to try and educate our oldest son.

On 8/23/06, snowdrift52003 <snowdrift52003@...> wrote:

>

> Yesterday my husband expressed frustration with being the only one

> concerned about the yard and outside projects. The way he expressed

> himself felt judgemental and lacking in understanding about my RA. We

> normally get along great, but last night we really struggled to

> communicate. Fatigue is a hard one for him to understand. He doesn't

> like some of the changes he sees in me. My self-esteem was shaken by

> his attitude toward me--I don't feel as loved and valued as I have in

> the past. The conversation affected my sleep and the flavor of my day

> today.

>

> Sierra

>

>

>

>

>

>

--

South Pasadena, CA

See my galleries! - http://www.pbase.com/arenared986

[Guest guest]

> Sierra I hear you my hubby get tired of hearing my pain all the

time and I think that they can not see Fatigue they just do not

understand I know I break down alot just tring to do the thing I use

to do. just remember we are here for you

Janet IN IL

> Yesterday my husband expressed frustration with being the only one

> concerned about the yard and outside projects. The way he expressed

> himself felt judgemental and lacking in understanding about my RA.

We

> normally get along great, but last night we really struggled to

> communicate. Fatigue is a hard one for him to understand. He doesn't

> like some of the changes he sees in me. My self-esteem was shaken by

> his attitude toward me--I don't feel as loved and valued as I have

in

> the past. The conversation affected my sleep and the flavor of my

day

> today.

>

> Sierra

>