A part of me ruined

[Guest guest]

SSRI's improve parts of the hypothalamus. I have noticed this as I

feel more intellectual and my vocabulary improved while i was on the

drugs and i talked about more sophisticated topics. But it compromised

a part of me that maybe a little more important. A certain emotional

part of me is no more. This part of me about relating to people, in a

certain small talk, flirtatious manner is all gone. I don't know how

to be human anymore. It's hard to describe but it's definitely there.

I can't joke around with people the way I use to. I feel like a robot

and it's not fun. I miss that part of me. The part of me that

distinguished me from the rest.

I have this mindset that I know is guided by the pessimism brought on

by the impact these drugs have had on me If I were to die now it

wouldn't matter. If my life continues the way it is now, the best days

of my life are behind me (pre-drug) I am no longer capable of

experiencing the pleasure and joys of life to the extent that I once

was. If I were to die now, in a way i'd be doing myself a favor.