Guest guest Posted September 6, 2006 Report Share Posted September 6, 2006 I am the queen of rejection from family and friends from not only my illness but also from my marital abuse and pending divorce. I am all alone. No compassion for illness or abuse. God Bless Bonnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2006 Report Share Posted September 6, 2006 Yes, monica, I have gone through this. I am here for you as a support as I am still going through it so I do not have much to offer in the way of advice. My in-laws are the worst and done everything they can to destroy my marriage and my life. Cassy > > I'm having trouble with getting emotional support from my family. I was wondering if Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2006 Report Share Posted September 6, 2006 Sorry to hear you have family trouble . Mine don't live close but they aren't too compassionate towards me either. Maybe we need to educate them more. Try print some of the great articles posts here for your family to read. Does your rheum have pamphlets on it? Mine does and I have one for RA even though I don't have it. I think my sister does believe me to the extent that she thinks her 15yo daughter has fibro now. Sorry can't give any better advice. Debbie L > > I'm having trouble with getting emotional support from my family. I was wondering if > anyone else has had problems with friends or family members who won't believe that > there is really something wrong with you. My family if sure that if I just put a little effort > into it got up off the couch stopped whining and made some goal I could stick to I'd be > better instantantly. Because of course my problems are all in my head. If any one has > gone though this and has any advice about how to reach my relatives, and how to teach > them more about RA I would be most greatful. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2006 Report Share Posted September 6, 2006 Family support? What is that? Yes, I am bitter that my family and my in-laws are not supportive, including my husband. Autoimmune diseases are very isolating and I feel like a hypochondriac most of the time. We may look " normal and healthy " but we are not. , I feel for you and have no answers, but pray we all find peace, as we cannot become bitter because of what others think. I sent everyone in my family a " letter to normals " re: my autoimmune problems and they all told my husband I needed psychiatric help. Hugs, Kim monica_p4 <monica_p4@...> wrote: I'm having trouble with getting emotional support from my family. I was wondering if anyone else has had problems with friends or family members who won't believe that there is really something wrong with you. My family if sure that if I just put a little effort into it got up off the couch stopped whining and made some goal I could stick to I'd be better instantantly. Because of course my problems are all in my head. If any one has gone though this and has any advice about how to reach my relatives, and how to teach them more about RA I would be most greatful. --------------------------------- Stay in the know. Pulse on the new .com. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2006 Report Share Posted September 6, 2006 , I am sorry for your diagnosis and obvious pain. I pray you have a therapy that is working for you. There is an analogy here about a number spoons given to us in a day and how we ration them out to have enough energy to last the whole day. Maybe someone here can give more detail about the analogy. Some give that to their family members. Sorry to sound so pessimistic but in my opinion you did the best thing you could have when you joined a support group for RA. Some also seek counselors to help them through which is not a bad idea, some seek spiritual guidance is what I do, some have wonderful family members who stick by them through it all.. I lost my mom last year and I don't think she ever understood the condition regarding the condition. My grandmother still lives, healthier than I am and don't know what I am talking about. My siblings are in their own world. The only reason I ever mentioned the RA is because my daughter was disabled and I wanted my family to understand I may need help with her physical care down the road. I no longer have my daughter so as one family member told me, " you don't to have to wonder who will care for your daughter anymore… " and something else I drowned out from the shock of that statement. My mother-in-law (MIL) told me " it's just arthritis. It may cripple you but you won't die from it and I believe people should care for their own children. " So, it was me and my kid completely on our own and me flaring on a daily basis sometimes for 6 weeks at a time. I finally decided to stop trying to convince others I was sick and place all of that energy into getting better. If my child had a chance, it would be because I got better in order to be here for her. Even though I no longer have my baby, I still feel that way. Do all that you can on your own without their support just as if you were living on your own. Everyone is not a caregiver and not able to feel that sort of empathy. Join whatever group that helps you, pray whatever prayer that helps you, see whatever counselor who helps you because if your family wanted to support you, you wouldn't have to convince them for the support. They would be online researching this condition and offering you the support you need. Besides, what are we here at the support group -- chopped liver? (smile) We understand and I pray your family will eventually come around too but know we are here for you and don't forget to live your life regardless who understands. peace and healing. Ebony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 7, 2006 Report Share Posted September 7, 2006 , I am sorry you are going through this but i think I have met through here goes through the same thing, either family doesn't even know the difference between osteo or rheumatoid or just gives you the sympathetic nod like " OH OK, your not feeling good. It is unfortunately a very frustrating situation with family and friends and it has been continuously with me. I am having problems with friends also, they say " U have to be on ALL that medicine, I mean you can't live without all that stuff? " They have no comphrension and some try, I am not trying to be negative because there will be people in your life who have someone who has suffered through it and understands (it is your light at the end of the tunnel or you will meet someone through here that will be a very good support system for you). I have met a few. I wish you luck and I would be happy to talk to you individually if you would like, i have been just recently been diagnosed. I wish you well, bless you and wish you a painless day! --------------------------------- Get your email and more, right on the new .com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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