Re: very upset and just need to talk Janet

[Guest guest]

Hi Janet:

Well, we have all been where you are now - with RA

comes grief at the loss of the life you did have, the

things you could do, the jobs, the activities you took

for granted. It's hard to adjust to suddenly not

being able to do even the most simple of tasks, and it

makes you feel so inadequate, like, well, then what am

I good for? Just to sit around, crying and in pain?

I have been right where you are now, and still get

there from time to time when a new wave of grief and

anger that I cannot do what I want to do comes along.

What I try to do is focus on those things that I still

can do. I can still cook a good dinner, I may have to

have help with carrying the pots from the stove top to

the sink, or from the oven to the table, but I still

cook as good, maybe better now that I have to spend a

bit more time at it lol. I have been able to spend

more time on the quiet things I love to do like read.

My daughter and I watch old movies together - we never

did that before - and I love it - she's 19 and

sometimes it's hard to connect with teens - but the

old movies and t.v. shows we watch together are great.

I am able to spend more time sitting and talking with

my son, who is 22, and reaching the point in his life

where it is time to start thinking about that next

step, next 4 year college, moving out, and now we have

the time to really talk. Sometimes being forced to

sit on the couch because of pain pays off in great

ways.

I am sure that if you look around your life, you will

find the little things that still bring you happiness,

the things you had no time for before, and new things

you are learning to enjoy. Your daughter-in-law is

doing this cleaning because she loves you and loves

your son, and hates to see you in pain, she does it

from love, so don't be feeling guilty about her doing

it, okay? You are lucky to have that sort of

relationship.

Take care, and don't be so hard on yourself, okay?

It's perfectly okay to sit and cry some days, and

vent, and curse this disease, and we are all here for

you. Hope that today is a better day for you -

Kathe in CA

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