Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Hi everyone, Hannah (8) is currently enrolled in Brownies. 2 girls that are there are very mean to her and bully her frequently (as they do at school). The leaders keep assuring me that they don't " pull that " while at Brownies, but Hannah says they do. It's hard to say if she can separate school time from Brownies but... Do y'all think that a structured group like Brownies (with about 13 other shrieking little girls) is a good setting? She has very poor social skills and before knowing her dx, I thought it might be a good thing to get her involved in something. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 I think Brownies CAN be great...but it depends so much on the group and the group leaders and how they manage what is going on. I was in Girl Scouts and HATED it because I didn't like a few of the other girls who were just mean, and the leaders didn't do anything (one of them was the lead mean girl's mom, so that is probably why). My sister was in a different troop since she was younger, and she loved it! Different girls, different group leadership style, different experience! I ended up going on camping trips and stuff with their troop because it was so much more fun and friendly. Can you sit in on one of their troop meetings and see what you can see? Even if the other girls know better than to pick on Hannah while you are there, you should be able to see how the leaders manage things and get a better idea of what the dynamics are like. You might also be able to get a clearer idea of what Hannah means about the other girls bullying her...it might be something she sees as bullying but the leaders (or maybe even the other girls) don't see as mean. Either way, it needs to be addressed, but it's easier if you see it yourself. Amnesty > > Hi everyone, > > Hannah (8) is currently enrolled in Brownies. 2 girls that are there > are very mean to her and bully her frequently (as they do at school). > The leaders keep assuring me that they don't " pull that " while at > Brownies, but Hannah says they do. It's hard to say if she can > separate school time from Brownies but... > > Do y'all think that a structured group like Brownies (with about 13 > other shrieking little girls) is a good setting? She has very poor > social skills and before knowing her dx, I thought it might be a good > thing to get her involved in something. > > Thanks. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Have you gone to a meeting with her? Maybe that would help, and don't go and be all mothering, go to " help " out that way the others may not pay attn enough to know you are her mom and see then what is going, if possible. sajustmyself wrote: Hi everyone, Hannah (8) is currently enrolled in Brownies. 2 girls that are there are very mean to her and bully her frequently (as they do at school). The leaders keep assuring me that they don't " pull that " while at Brownies, but Hannah says they do. It's hard to say if she can separate school time from Brownies but... Do y'all think that a structured group like Brownies (with about 13 other shrieking little girls) is a good setting? She has very poor social skills and before knowing her dx, I thought it might be a good thing to get her involved in something. Thanks. --------------------------------- Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Hi, I would reccomend becoming a GS adult. You can register with your local council for about $10. They will require a background check for you to work with a troop, but then you can be a troop parent. This is much different from troop leader. You do not have the responsibility of leading the troop, but you are allowed to be involved in all troop activities and meetings. You may be asked to " help out " sometimes, such as plan a craft or snack. This way, you can keep an eye on the activities at the Brownie meetings, as well as be there for a purpose other than just as your daughter's mom. Most troops(per council rules) insist that any parent attending more than one meeting in a row be registered(for safety reasons, with the background check). It is not easy all the time to see your child teased, and I'm just now venturing (back) into the world of girl-scouting, but this would be my reccomendation. Also, know that your daughter can be a brownie without having a troop. If things don't work out with the troop, then she can still register with your local council, complete try-its(and later badges) with your help, and go to any girl scout activities as an individual without a troop. > > Hi everyone, > > Hannah (8) is currently enrolled in Brownies. 2 girls that are there > are very mean to her and bully her frequently (as they do at school). > The leaders keep assuring me that they don't " pull that " while at > Brownies, but Hannah says they do. It's hard to say if she can > separate school time from Brownies but... > > Do y'all think that a structured group like Brownies (with about 13 > other shrieking little girls) is a good setting? She has very poor > social skills and before knowing her dx, I thought it might be a good > thing to get her involved in something. > > Thanks. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Hi , I have a daughter in Girls Scouts. I am in the same boat as you. I joined as a co-leader not thinking about the hurdles we will face. We have only had one meeting and I am wondering if it was the best decision. She was overwhelmed by all the girls, the craft, and the snack that she couldn't have. I am going to have to prepare something ahead of time just for her. It is helpful that I am there though. You could ask the leaders if you could hang out an assist, or get trained as a co-leader. There isn't much to do. I want my daughter to have the socialization too expecially since she is homeschooled. We have our second meeting next week. I will let you know how it goes. Rebekah --- Amy Wittman wrote: > Hi , > I have a little different take. I am all for > putting autistic children in with the mainstream...I > think that it helps both sides understand that > everyone is not alike. Because these children are > very intelligent, they surely know what is going on, > good or bad. Have you tried art, music, or horse > therapy? I teach and play the piano...she might like > the one on one attention. Who doesn't like > music...maybe a fun dance class that everyone is > jumping around in and exercising too would be fun. > Horse therapy helps with their sensories. balance, > and calms the spirit. They say that dogs and horses > KNOW that these children are special...they start to > form a very special connection. To me, brownies > seems to be more of a structured environment...maybe > she needs a little more relaxed enviroment, > especially if it could just be you and her sharing > some special time together (horses). I bought my > daughter a mini trampoline. I was told that they > need this " deep joint therapy " . Don't know > much about it, but she enjoys it. No one likes to > be picked on...if she truly is being picked on..she > may give up before even starting. > Amy > > sajustmyself wrote: > Hi everyone, > > Hannah (8) is currently enrolled in Brownies. 2 > girls that are there > are very mean to her and bully her frequently (as > they do at school). > The leaders keep assuring me that they don't " pull > that " while at > Brownies, but Hannah says they do. It's hard to say > if she can > separate school time from Brownies but... > > Do y'all think that a structured group like Brownies > (with about 13 > other shrieking little girls) is a good setting? She > has very poor > social skills and before knowing her dx, I thought > it might be a good > thing to get her involved in something. > > Thanks. > > > > > > > > > Chef Amy > Reel Thyme Cooking, LLC > > > --------------------------------- > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with > Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > Rebekah Phil 4:8 ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Thanks for all of the suggestions. The problem with me attending meetings is that Hannah has a meltdown whenever I'm around. I was her Daisy leader in Kindergarten and gave the troop over to another parent because it wasn't fair to all the girls when Hannah had meltdowns. It also makes it hard to even volunteer on field trips. Do many kids do better if you're not there? > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > Hannah (8) is currently enrolled in Brownies. 2 girls that are > there > > are very mean to her and bully her frequently (as they do at > school). > > The leaders keep assuring me that they don't " pull that " while at > > Brownies, but Hannah says they do. It's hard to say if she can > > separate school time from Brownies but... > > > > Do y'all think that a structured group like Brownies (with about 13 > > other shrieking little girls) is a good setting? She has very poor > > social skills and before knowing her dx, I thought it might be a > good > > thing to get her involved in something. > > > > Thanks. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 I've been reading over the digest, and don't want to give specific advise to anyone, but do want to say that sometimes as parents its very hard to know what to do. People often say, 'get your child out more!' but they don't really know our kids. We feel obligated to try, but its hard to make a judgement call since often those in charge in social groups, schools, or whatever... they fail to give us the truth about how things *really* are, and say what they think they should, or what will keep the peace for their world! We really need to listen to our kids, or with a case like my child is nonverbal, look for cues in their mood and behavior, as to how things really are, and don't be afraid to change to best serve the child. A three year old who isn't potty trained is not that unusual, goodness... my child was 6 before she was potty trained, and years beyond that is still mastering understanding cues for #2... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Hi -- Have you talked to the leaders about Hannah's diagnosis? Have they talked to the girls that Hannah has some difficulties and needs help? That's worked very well for my son. A lot of kids look out for him and help him out -- he's in 6th grade now and they still really look out for him. -- Cassie sajustmyself wrote: > Hi everyone, > > Hannah (8) is currently enrolled in Brownies. 2 girls that are there > are very mean to her and bully her frequently (as they do at school). > The leaders keep assuring me that they don't " pull that " while at > Brownies, but Hannah says they do. It's hard to say if she can > separate school time from Brownies but... > > Do y'all think that a structured group like Brownies (with about 13 > other shrieking little girls) is a good setting? She has very poor > social skills and before knowing her dx, I thought it might be a good > thing to get her involved in something. > > Thanks. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Before you say anything to anyone about Hannah's diagnosis, ask her first! She may not want anyone to single her out at this point, and it should be her decision on when to tell and how much to tell. From reading what you have said about her so far, it sounds like she is definitely capable of being part of that discussion. Amnesty > > > Hi everyone, > > > > Hannah (8) is currently enrolled in Brownies. 2 girls that are there > > are very mean to her and bully her frequently (as they do at school). > > The leaders keep assuring me that they don't " pull that " while at > > Brownies, but Hannah says they do. It's hard to say if she can > > separate school time from Brownies but... > > > > Do y'all think that a structured group like Brownies (with about 13 > > other shrieking little girls) is a good setting? She has very poor > > social skills and before knowing her dx, I thought it might be a good > > thing to get her involved in something. > > > > Thanks. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 To be honest, I haven't even talked with Hannah about her diagnosis. I know that she knows she's different. I've just always told her things like some people act differently than others because our brains all work in different ways. Sometimes when we talk about it, (her being different) she becomes agitated, angry and aggressive. She gets called stupid and weird from other kids (most are girls) pretty much everyday at school, she overhears Abby's friends (that's her older step sister that's at the same school - this is her last year there) asking Abby why Hannah acts the way she does or saying things like is she retarded or something? I've talked to the leaders regarding her dx but I really don't know if they believe me. Anyone who watched the Dr. Phil show on Autism, at the very beginning, the little boy who had meltdowns and screamed he hated his mom, was going to kill her, etc., well that's how Hannah is at home. Other people don't experience that side of her; they see the quiet, withdrawn, quiet little girl who requires a lot of help with school, projects, etc. They are the kind of people who always tell me she did great. When they had a field trip to a rock climbing place, they said she didn't cry or anything. I had a friend who also has a daughter in the same troop tell me that Hannah had quite a meltdown. By the way, that friend's daughter used to be wonderful friends with Hannah (at least as much as Hannah can be a friend since she's not very social most of the time) but because of peer pressure (in 2nd grade??) doesn't really want to be her friend anymore. So after all of this, I just don't know. By the way, how in the world do I explain what's different about her? That just scares the bejebers (lol) out of me!!! > > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > > > Hannah (8) is currently enrolled in Brownies. 2 girls that are there > > > are very mean to her and bully her frequently (as they do at school). > > > The leaders keep assuring me that they don't " pull that " while at > > > Brownies, but Hannah says they do. It's hard to say if she can > > > separate school time from Brownies but... > > > > > > Do y'all think that a structured group like Brownies (with about 13 > > > other shrieking little girls) is a good setting? She has very poor > > > social skills and before knowing her dx, I thought it might be a good > > > thing to get her involved in something. > > > > > > Thanks. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 I could try. But when you get a chance to read my last reply, I really don't feel that her leaders believe she's autistic. They seem like the type that think of autism as Rainman only. When I did talk to them it just like, " oh really?, I wouldn't have ever thought that it was that " in that kind of condescending voice; again, I am sensitive so maybe I read it wrong but... > > > > > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > > > > > Hannah (8) is currently enrolled in Brownies. 2 girls that are > > > there > > > > are very mean to her and bully her frequently (as they do at > > > school). > > > > The leaders keep assuring me that they don't " pull that " while at > > > > Brownies, but Hannah says they do. It's hard to say if she can > > > > separate school time from Brownies but... > > > > > > > > Do y'all think that a structured group like Brownies (with about > > 13 > > > > other shrieking little girls) is a good setting? She has very > > poor > > > > social skills and before knowing her dx, I thought it might be a > > > good > > > > thing to get her involved in something. > > > > > > > > Thanks. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 How old is Alissa? She's sounds a lot like Hannah. Whenever Hannah is at the park in or one of the fast food playlands (yuk, I hate those germ infested places!), she'll get asked by another child to play and her automatic response is almost always " no thank you " . At least she's polite. but if she gets overstimulated or someone gets too close, she lashes out physically and verbally. All this time I've been posting, I failed to mention that Hannah's dad and I are not married (never were-long story) and he takes her every other weekend and sometimes has dinner with her once a week or so. I can't imagine that helps any of this at all. She is a major Mommy's girl and everyone knows that!! > > > I wish Alissa would be interested in something like that. > > She is a homebody making daddy and myself her fav playmates. > > She does like other kids- really enjoys the parks where kids are > > and going to Burger King playplace- although she is so tall soon she > > won't get to play anylonger. She is big for her age- but I cannot see > > her at a brownie meeting. She really doesn't have tantrums- only on > > us when she gets frustrated- but she does yell a bit at times and > > would distract others I think. She is learning to bowl & likes mini > > golf- we are trying to get her exposed to as many things as she will > > go with to see which ones she enjoys the most. > > She is not much on going without mom OR dad....and is happy at home > > playing computer games- or board games ( a new this year thing) > > with us- she also loves her Nintendo Gamecube- but we have to watch > > how much she plays she can overdo it if we let her. I try and keep > > her talking & asking for things as well as answering me. I know she > > HAS to get tired of mom questioning her about everything even > > through her favorite movies. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Amy, Was this a question for me about Hannah? She is verbal. severe speech and language problems but still very able to tell me about the bullying. I've been reading over the digest, and don't want to give specific > advise to anyone, but do want to say that sometimes as parents its very > hard to know what to do. > > People often say, 'get your child out more!' but they don't really know > our kids. > > We feel obligated to try, but its hard to make a judgement call since > often those in charge in social groups, schools, or whatever... they > fail to give us the truth about how things *really* are, and say what > they think they should, or what will keep the peace for their world! > > We really need to listen to our kids, or with a case like my child is > nonverbal, look for cues in their mood and behavior, as to how things > really are, and don't be afraid to change to best serve the child. > > A three year old who isn't potty trained is not that unusual, > goodness... my child was 6 before she was potty trained, and years > beyond that is still mastering understanding cues for #2... > > > > > > > Chef Amy > Reel Thyme Cooking, LLC > > > --------------------------------- > Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Just tell her it's autism. Be as positive as possible, explain to her all the cool people who have autism, like Dickinson, Albert Einstein, Van Gogh, Temple Grandin, etc. If she had a missing leg would you tell her she just walks different, or would you talk about how she feels not having a leg? If she had an extra leg would you tell her she just walks different or discuss how it feels to have the extra leg? It's a part of who she is. I would encourage you to discuss it with her as much as she wants to talk about it. There's nothing to be scared of, it's part of her and imo she needs you to talk to her about it, to know that all aspects of who she is are loved and accepted. I would be willing to bet she senses your fear and might possibly be reflecting it as fearing part of her. I'm not in any way saying you're to blame, just saying she knows something's up, so why be afraid of what you all know? As we say, the sky is blue, Allie has autism, what's for supper, etc. Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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