Guest guest Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 Hi Marie, I read your email and have been digesting it for several days. The thing is, if I had a bucket load of money I would make sure that ALL my relatives - immediate and distant - relatives I've never even met but I know that exist - got something from me when I die. I'd make sure that everybody got a little something - whether it be money or even a copy of my writings etc...that way people will always remember be forever and ever. I would not exclude people like my own family has done to me. Here is the thing: My Opa had a father who died of TB and his mother I don't think treated the family very well. The mother had the eldest child (a sister who is now dead) work on the farm and the two youngest children got all of the help they needed and wanted from the mother. My Opa grew up without a father figure as did my Omit as well. History repeated itself with my mother and her brother & sister where my mother got nothing at all from my grandparents while my Aunt & Uncle got all the help they needed and wanted. I think with my Uncle Moe history is also repeating itself with my 3 younger cousins - one of them not really being the favorite - because she is going into film studies and they don't approve of such a vocation unless it is a doctor or a teacher etc...The other two are pursuing more " sensible " careers in teaching & other stuff as well........Tara Kimberley Torme --- Marie wrote: > TKT: It really isn't about the money, really. > But > what angers me the most is how my relatives on > my > Father's side screwed me over the $25,000 that > was left to me by my Paternal grandmother when > she died on Dec. 20, 2003. That is what really > angers, upsets and saddens me the most. If I > were > a multi - millionaire I would make sure that > every single one of my living relatives - even > those I had never met would have their needs > taken care of. Even if they were mean to me in > life I would make sure that in death I would > leave everybody a little something. To leave > any > relative out would be mean, cold, cruel and > selfish and greedy. I don't want to be that > mean > lady who left her entire fortune to her dog, > not > leaving a penny to her own children (biological > or fake children). Tara Kimberley Torme > > Hi Tara, > > A similar thing happened to my MIL, twice & > also to one of Kim's providers. > It seems like when money is involved, people > become selfish & greedy & only > see how they can use the money. I find that > when money is involved, even > siblings will fight over it, let alone other > relatives. I'm almost glad > that my parents had/have no money to leave us & > as my brother is taking care > of our mom, he will get the house that they're > living in now & the rest of > us are OK with that. I look at my sister in > law who is always after money > in some form, from others & at 50 is still not > self sufficient. > > I think Sondra's advice is a good one, to look > at nonbiological people that > you meet who you can connect with, that will > become your support system. If > you can make those connections locally, so you > have " live " people to talk > to, hopefully that will be of help. > > At one point, I felt like " divorcing " my sister > who wouldn't allow us to > stay at her home b/c she was afraid Kim would > break their belongings when > Kim was at a stage when she had " behaviors " . I > " forgave " them at a later > point when I realized that just b/c they're > " family " they don't > understand or be supportive of what we go > through. As a mom, I don't even > begin to know what people on the spectrum > really go through, but I > appreciate all the input that I get from those > on the spectrum that can > express some of the experiences, which is very > helpful to me. > > I hope it helps to be on this group, as I think > being able to talk about > your feelings helps. > > Marie > > -- > Marie > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > Tara Kimberley Torme 2061 East 40th Avenue Vancouver, BC V5P 1J4 CANADA Home Phone: Online Journal: http://blog.myspace.com/aspergergal The Silent Meow: The Asperger's Difference: http://www.aspires-relationships.com/writings_tara__Torme.htm A Series Of Short Stories & Poems by T K Torme: www.tktorme.com Asperger_Social_Support email list: Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asperger_Social_Support Group email address: Asperger_Social_Support Asperger Social email list: Group home page: http://groups.google.com/group/asperger-social?hl=en Group email address: asperger-socialgooglegroups Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing photos and more... Try the new Yahoo! Canada Messenger at http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 Hi Marie, I read your email and have been digesting it for several days. The thing is, if I had a bucket load of money I would make sure that ALL my relatives - immediate and distant - relatives I've never even met but I know that exist - got something from me when I die. I'd make sure that everybody got a little something - whether it be money or even a copy of my writings etc...that way people will always remember be forever and ever. I would not exclude people like my own family has done to me. Here is the thing: My Opa had a father who died of TB and his mother I don't think treated the family very well. The mother had the eldest child (a sister who is now dead) work on the farm and the two youngest children got all of the help they needed and wanted from the mother. My Opa grew up without a father figure as did my Omit as well. History repeated itself with my mother and her brother & sister where my mother got nothing at all from my grandparents while my Aunt & Uncle got all the help they needed and wanted. I think with my Uncle Moe history is also repeating itself with my 3 younger cousins - one of them not really being the favorite - because she is going into film studies and they don't approve of such a vocation unless it is a doctor or a teacher etc...The other two are pursuing more " sensible " careers in teaching & other stuff as well........Tara Kimberley Torme --- Marie wrote: > TKT: It really isn't about the money, really. > But > what angers me the most is how my relatives on > my > Father's side screwed me over the $25,000 that > was left to me by my Paternal grandmother when > she died on Dec. 20, 2003. That is what really > angers, upsets and saddens me the most. If I > were > a multi - millionaire I would make sure that > every single one of my living relatives - even > those I had never met would have their needs > taken care of. Even if they were mean to me in > life I would make sure that in death I would > leave everybody a little something. To leave > any > relative out would be mean, cold, cruel and > selfish and greedy. I don't want to be that > mean > lady who left her entire fortune to her dog, > not > leaving a penny to her own children (biological > or fake children). Tara Kimberley Torme > > Hi Tara, > > A similar thing happened to my MIL, twice & > also to one of Kim's providers. > It seems like when money is involved, people > become selfish & greedy & only > see how they can use the money. I find that > when money is involved, even > siblings will fight over it, let alone other > relatives. I'm almost glad > that my parents had/have no money to leave us & > as my brother is taking care > of our mom, he will get the house that they're > living in now & the rest of > us are OK with that. I look at my sister in > law who is always after money > in some form, from others & at 50 is still not > self sufficient. > > I think Sondra's advice is a good one, to look > at nonbiological people that > you meet who you can connect with, that will > become your support system. If > you can make those connections locally, so you > have " live " people to talk > to, hopefully that will be of help. > > At one point, I felt like " divorcing " my sister > who wouldn't allow us to > stay at her home b/c she was afraid Kim would > break their belongings when > Kim was at a stage when she had " behaviors " . I > " forgave " them at a later > point when I realized that just b/c they're > " family " they don't > understand or be supportive of what we go > through. As a mom, I don't even > begin to know what people on the spectrum > really go through, but I > appreciate all the input that I get from those > on the spectrum that can > express some of the experiences, which is very > helpful to me. > > I hope it helps to be on this group, as I think > being able to talk about > your feelings helps. > > Marie > > -- > Marie > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > Tara Kimberley Torme 2061 East 40th Avenue Vancouver, BC V5P 1J4 CANADA Home Phone: Online Journal: http://blog.myspace.com/aspergergal The Silent Meow: The Asperger's Difference: http://www.aspires-relationships.com/writings_tara__Torme.htm A Series Of Short Stories & Poems by T K Torme: www.tktorme.com Asperger_Social_Support email list: Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asperger_Social_Support Group email address: Asperger_Social_Support Asperger Social email list: Group home page: http://groups.google.com/group/asperger-social?hl=en Group email address: asperger-socialgooglegroups Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing photos and more... Try the new Yahoo! Canada Messenger at http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 Hi Tara, I agree with you about, If I had a bucketload of money, that I would leave something for everyone & not exclude anyone too. I hope what shows up in writing is not misconstrued as anything negative or criticizing & isn't interpreted that way. Marie A. > Hi Marie, > > I read your email and have been digesting it for > several days. The thing is, if I had a bucket > load of money I would make sure that ALL my > relatives - immediate and distant - relatives > I've never even met but I know that exist - got > something from me when I die. I'd make sure that > everybody got a little something - whether it be > money or even a copy of my writings etc...that > way people will always remember be forever and > ever. I would not exclude people like my own > family has done to me. > > Here is the thing: My Opa had a father who died > of TB and his mother I don't think treated the > family very well. The mother had the eldest child > (a sister who is now dead) work on the farm and > the two youngest children got all of the help > they needed and wanted from the mother. My Opa > grew up without a father figure as did my Omit as > well. History repeated itself with my mother and > her brother & sister where my mother got nothing > at all from my grandparents while my Aunt & Uncle > got all the help they needed and wanted. I think > with my Uncle Moe history is also repeating > itself with my 3 younger cousins - one of them > not really being the favorite - because she is > going into film studies and they don't approve of > such a vocation unless it is a doctor or a > teacher etc...The other two are pursuing more > " sensible " careers in teaching & other stuff as > well........Tara Kimberley Torme > > --- Marie wrote: > > > TKT: It really isn't about the money, really. > > But > > what angers me the most is how my relatives on > > my > > Father's side screwed me over the $25,000 that > > was left to me by my Paternal grandmother when > > she died on Dec. 20, 2003. That is what really > > angers, upsets and saddens me the most. If I > > were > > a multi - millionaire I would make sure that > > every single one of my living relatives - even > > those I had never met would have their needs > > taken care of. Even if they were mean to me in > > life I would make sure that in death I would > > leave everybody a little something. To leave > > any > > relative out would be mean, cold, cruel and > > selfish and greedy. I don't want to be that > > mean > > lady who left her entire fortune to her dog, > > not > > leaving a penny to her own children (biological > > or fake children). Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > Hi Tara, > > > > A similar thing happened to my MIL, twice & > > also to one of Kim's providers. > > It seems like when money is involved, people > > become selfish & greedy & only > > see how they can use the money. I find that > > when money is involved, even > > siblings will fight over it, let alone other > > relatives. I'm almost glad > > that my parents had/have no money to leave us & > > as my brother is taking care > > of our mom, he will get the house that they're > > living in now & the rest of > > us are OK with that. I look at my sister in > > law who is always after money > > in some form, from others & at 50 is still not > > self sufficient. > > > > I think Sondra's advice is a good one, to look > > at nonbiological people that > > you meet who you can connect with, that will > > become your support system. If > > you can make those connections locally, so you > > have " live " people to talk > > to, hopefully that will be of help. > > > > At one point, I felt like " divorcing " my sister > > who wouldn't allow us to > > stay at her home b/c she was afraid Kim would > > break their belongings when > > Kim was at a stage when she had " behaviors " . I > > " forgave " them at a later > > point when I realized that just b/c they're > > " family " they don't > > understand or be supportive of what we go > > through. As a mom, I don't even > > begin to know what people on the spectrum > > really go through, but I > > appreciate all the input that I get from those > > on the spectrum that can > > express some of the experiences, which is very > > helpful to me. > > > > I hope it helps to be on this group, as I think > > being able to talk about > > your feelings helps. > > > > Marie > > > > -- > > Marie > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > 2061 East 40th Avenue > Vancouver, BC > V5P 1J4 > CANADA > > Home Phone: > > Online Journal: http://blog.myspace.com/aspergergal > > The Silent Meow: > > The Asperger's Difference: > http://www.aspires-relationships.com/writings_tara__Torme.htm > > A Series Of Short Stories & Poems by T K Torme: www.tktorme.com > > Asperger_Social_Support email list: > > Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asperger_Social_Support > > Group email address: Asperger_Social_Support > > Asperger Social email list: > > Group home page: http://groups.google.com/group/asperger-social?hl=en > > Group email address: asperger-socialgooglegroups > > > Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing photos and more... Try the new > Yahoo! Canada Messenger at http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 Hi Tara, I agree with you about, If I had a bucketload of money, that I would leave something for everyone & not exclude anyone too. I hope what shows up in writing is not misconstrued as anything negative or criticizing & isn't interpreted that way. Marie A. > Hi Marie, > > I read your email and have been digesting it for > several days. The thing is, if I had a bucket > load of money I would make sure that ALL my > relatives - immediate and distant - relatives > I've never even met but I know that exist - got > something from me when I die. I'd make sure that > everybody got a little something - whether it be > money or even a copy of my writings etc...that > way people will always remember be forever and > ever. I would not exclude people like my own > family has done to me. > > Here is the thing: My Opa had a father who died > of TB and his mother I don't think treated the > family very well. The mother had the eldest child > (a sister who is now dead) work on the farm and > the two youngest children got all of the help > they needed and wanted from the mother. My Opa > grew up without a father figure as did my Omit as > well. History repeated itself with my mother and > her brother & sister where my mother got nothing > at all from my grandparents while my Aunt & Uncle > got all the help they needed and wanted. I think > with my Uncle Moe history is also repeating > itself with my 3 younger cousins - one of them > not really being the favorite - because she is > going into film studies and they don't approve of > such a vocation unless it is a doctor or a > teacher etc...The other two are pursuing more > " sensible " careers in teaching & other stuff as > well........Tara Kimberley Torme > > --- Marie wrote: > > > TKT: It really isn't about the money, really. > > But > > what angers me the most is how my relatives on > > my > > Father's side screwed me over the $25,000 that > > was left to me by my Paternal grandmother when > > she died on Dec. 20, 2003. That is what really > > angers, upsets and saddens me the most. If I > > were > > a multi - millionaire I would make sure that > > every single one of my living relatives - even > > those I had never met would have their needs > > taken care of. Even if they were mean to me in > > life I would make sure that in death I would > > leave everybody a little something. To leave > > any > > relative out would be mean, cold, cruel and > > selfish and greedy. I don't want to be that > > mean > > lady who left her entire fortune to her dog, > > not > > leaving a penny to her own children (biological > > or fake children). Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > Hi Tara, > > > > A similar thing happened to my MIL, twice & > > also to one of Kim's providers. > > It seems like when money is involved, people > > become selfish & greedy & only > > see how they can use the money. I find that > > when money is involved, even > > siblings will fight over it, let alone other > > relatives. I'm almost glad > > that my parents had/have no money to leave us & > > as my brother is taking care > > of our mom, he will get the house that they're > > living in now & the rest of > > us are OK with that. I look at my sister in > > law who is always after money > > in some form, from others & at 50 is still not > > self sufficient. > > > > I think Sondra's advice is a good one, to look > > at nonbiological people that > > you meet who you can connect with, that will > > become your support system. If > > you can make those connections locally, so you > > have " live " people to talk > > to, hopefully that will be of help. > > > > At one point, I felt like " divorcing " my sister > > who wouldn't allow us to > > stay at her home b/c she was afraid Kim would > > break their belongings when > > Kim was at a stage when she had " behaviors " . I > > " forgave " them at a later > > point when I realized that just b/c they're > > " family " they don't > > understand or be supportive of what we go > > through. As a mom, I don't even > > begin to know what people on the spectrum > > really go through, but I > > appreciate all the input that I get from those > > on the spectrum that can > > express some of the experiences, which is very > > helpful to me. > > > > I hope it helps to be on this group, as I think > > being able to talk about > > your feelings helps. > > > > Marie > > > > -- > > Marie > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > 2061 East 40th Avenue > Vancouver, BC > V5P 1J4 > CANADA > > Home Phone: > > Online Journal: http://blog.myspace.com/aspergergal > > The Silent Meow: > > The Asperger's Difference: > http://www.aspires-relationships.com/writings_tara__Torme.htm > > A Series Of Short Stories & Poems by T K Torme: www.tktorme.com > > Asperger_Social_Support email list: > > Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asperger_Social_Support > > Group email address: Asperger_Social_Support > > Asperger Social email list: > > Group home page: http://groups.google.com/group/asperger-social?hl=en > > Group email address: asperger-socialgooglegroups > > > Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing photos and more... Try the new > Yahoo! Canada Messenger at http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 Hi , My Aunt and Uncle somehow got a copy of this particular email which I did NOT send them and my Uncle went to my Opa who called my mommy who yelled at me for hours and hours on end. Apparently my email was interpreted that I had slandered my grandparents and now they are angry with me (again). I wrote them letters of apologies and mailed them off, hoping that they will read my letter and know that I am truly sorry for hurting their feelings. I even asked them if they wished to punish me, to leave my portion of my inheritance that I would have gotten from either of them to my mommy as she does not need to be punished too and that she does deserve something as well. Tara Kimberley Torme --- Marie wrote: > Hi Tara, > > I agree with you about, If I had a bucketload > of money, that I would leave > something for everyone & not exclude anyone > too. > > I hope what shows up in writing is not > misconstrued as anything negative or > criticizing & isn't interpreted that way. > > Marie A. > > On Jan 7, 2008 1:00 PM, Tara Kimberley Torme > wrote: > > > Hi Marie, > > > > I read your email and have been digesting it > for > > several days. The thing is, if I had a bucket > > load of money I would make sure that ALL my > > relatives - immediate and distant - relatives > > I've never even met but I know that exist - > got > > something from me when I die. I'd make sure > that > > everybody got a little something - whether it > be > > money or even a copy of my writings > etc...that > > way people will always remember be forever > and > > ever. I would not exclude people like my own > > family has done to me. > > > > Here is the thing: My Opa had a father who > died > > of TB and his mother I don't think treated > the > > family very well. The mother had the eldest > child > > (a sister who is now dead) work on the farm > and > > the two youngest children got all of the help > > they needed and wanted from the mother. My > Opa > > grew up without a father figure as did my > Omit as > > well. History repeated itself with my mother > and > > her brother & sister where my mother got > nothing > > at all from my grandparents while my Aunt & > Uncle > > got all the help they needed and wanted. I > think > > with my Uncle Moe history is also repeating > > itself with my 3 younger cousins - one of > them > > not really being the favorite - because she > is > > going into film studies and they don't > approve of > > such a vocation unless it is a doctor or a > > teacher etc...The other two are pursuing more > > " sensible " careers in teaching & other stuff > as > > well........Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > --- Marie > wrote: > > > > > TKT: It really isn't about the money, > really. > > > But > > > what angers me the most is how my relatives > on > > > my > > > Father's side screwed me over the $25,000 > that > > > was left to me by my Paternal grandmother > when > > > she died on Dec. 20, 2003. That is what > really > > > angers, upsets and saddens me the most. If > I > > > were > > > a multi - millionaire I would make sure > that > > > every single one of my living relatives - > even > > > those I had never met would have their > needs > > > taken care of. Even if they were mean to me > in > > > life I would make sure that in death I > would > > > leave everybody a little something. To > leave > > > any > > > relative out would be mean, cold, cruel and > > > selfish and greedy. I don't want to be that > > > mean > > > lady who left her entire fortune to her > dog, > > > not > > > leaving a penny to her own children > (biological > > > or fake children). Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > Hi Tara, > > > > > > A similar thing happened to my MIL, twice & > > > also to one of Kim's providers. > > > It seems like when money is involved, > people > > > become selfish & greedy & only > > > see how they can use the money. I find > that > > > when money is involved, even > > > siblings will fight over it, let alone > other > > > relatives. I'm almost glad > > > that my parents had/have no money to leave > us & > > > as my brother is taking care > > > of our mom, he will get the house that > they're > > > living in now & the rest of > > > us are OK with that. I look at my sister > in > > > law who is always after money > > > in some form, from others & at 50 is still > not > > > self sufficient. > > > > > > I think Sondra's advice is a good one, to > look > > > at nonbiological people that > > > you meet who you can connect with, that > will > > > become your support system. If > > > you can make those connections locally, so > you > > > have " live " people to talk > > > to, hopefully that will be of help. > > > > > > At one point, I felt like " divorcing " my > sister > > > who wouldn't allow us to > > > stay at her home b/c she was afraid Kim > would > > > break their belongings when > > > Kim was at a stage when she had > " behaviors " . I > > > " forgave " them at a later > > > point when I realized that just b/c they're > > > " family " they don't > > > understand or be supportive of what we go > > > through. As a mom, I don't even > > > begin to know what people on the spectrum > > > really go through, but I > > > appreciate all the input that I get from > those > > > on the spectrum that can > > > express some of the experiences, which is > very > > > helpful to me. > > > > > > I hope it helps to be on this group, as I > think > > > being able to talk about > > > your feelings helps. > > > > > > Marie > > > > > > -- > > > Marie > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have > been > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > 2061 East 40th Avenue > > Vancouver, BC > > V5P 1J4 > > CANADA > > > > Home Phone: > > > > Online Journal: > http://blog.myspace.com/aspergergal > > > > The Silent Meow: > > > > > The Asperger's Difference: > > > http://www.aspires-relationships.com/writings_tara__Torme.htm > > > > A Series Of Short Stories & Poems by T K > Torme: www.tktorme.com > > > > Asperger_Social_Support email list: > > > > Group home page: > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asperger_Social_Support > > > > Group email address: > Asperger_Social_Support > > > > Asperger Social email list: > > > > Group home page: > http://groups.google.com/group/asperger-social?hl=en > > > > Group email address: > asperger-socialgooglegroups > > > > > > Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing > photos and more... Try the new > > Yahoo! Canada Messenger at > http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ > > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > > ------------------------ > > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 Hi , My Aunt and Uncle somehow got a copy of this particular email which I did NOT send them and my Uncle went to my Opa who called my mommy who yelled at me for hours and hours on end. Apparently my email was interpreted that I had slandered my grandparents and now they are angry with me (again). I wrote them letters of apologies and mailed them off, hoping that they will read my letter and know that I am truly sorry for hurting their feelings. I even asked them if they wished to punish me, to leave my portion of my inheritance that I would have gotten from either of them to my mommy as she does not need to be punished too and that she does deserve something as well. Tara Kimberley Torme --- Marie wrote: > Hi Tara, > > I agree with you about, If I had a bucketload > of money, that I would leave > something for everyone & not exclude anyone > too. > > I hope what shows up in writing is not > misconstrued as anything negative or > criticizing & isn't interpreted that way. > > Marie A. > > On Jan 7, 2008 1:00 PM, Tara Kimberley Torme > wrote: > > > Hi Marie, > > > > I read your email and have been digesting it > for > > several days. The thing is, if I had a bucket > > load of money I would make sure that ALL my > > relatives - immediate and distant - relatives > > I've never even met but I know that exist - > got > > something from me when I die. I'd make sure > that > > everybody got a little something - whether it > be > > money or even a copy of my writings > etc...that > > way people will always remember be forever > and > > ever. I would not exclude people like my own > > family has done to me. > > > > Here is the thing: My Opa had a father who > died > > of TB and his mother I don't think treated > the > > family very well. The mother had the eldest > child > > (a sister who is now dead) work on the farm > and > > the two youngest children got all of the help > > they needed and wanted from the mother. My > Opa > > grew up without a father figure as did my > Omit as > > well. History repeated itself with my mother > and > > her brother & sister where my mother got > nothing > > at all from my grandparents while my Aunt & > Uncle > > got all the help they needed and wanted. I > think > > with my Uncle Moe history is also repeating > > itself with my 3 younger cousins - one of > them > > not really being the favorite - because she > is > > going into film studies and they don't > approve of > > such a vocation unless it is a doctor or a > > teacher etc...The other two are pursuing more > > " sensible " careers in teaching & other stuff > as > > well........Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > --- Marie > wrote: > > > > > TKT: It really isn't about the money, > really. > > > But > > > what angers me the most is how my relatives > on > > > my > > > Father's side screwed me over the $25,000 > that > > > was left to me by my Paternal grandmother > when > > > she died on Dec. 20, 2003. That is what > really > > > angers, upsets and saddens me the most. If > I > > > were > > > a multi - millionaire I would make sure > that > > > every single one of my living relatives - > even > > > those I had never met would have their > needs > > > taken care of. Even if they were mean to me > in > > > life I would make sure that in death I > would > > > leave everybody a little something. To > leave > > > any > > > relative out would be mean, cold, cruel and > > > selfish and greedy. I don't want to be that > > > mean > > > lady who left her entire fortune to her > dog, > > > not > > > leaving a penny to her own children > (biological > > > or fake children). Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > Hi Tara, > > > > > > A similar thing happened to my MIL, twice & > > > also to one of Kim's providers. > > > It seems like when money is involved, > people > > > become selfish & greedy & only > > > see how they can use the money. I find > that > > > when money is involved, even > > > siblings will fight over it, let alone > other > > > relatives. I'm almost glad > > > that my parents had/have no money to leave > us & > > > as my brother is taking care > > > of our mom, he will get the house that > they're > > > living in now & the rest of > > > us are OK with that. I look at my sister > in > > > law who is always after money > > > in some form, from others & at 50 is still > not > > > self sufficient. > > > > > > I think Sondra's advice is a good one, to > look > > > at nonbiological people that > > > you meet who you can connect with, that > will > > > become your support system. If > > > you can make those connections locally, so > you > > > have " live " people to talk > > > to, hopefully that will be of help. > > > > > > At one point, I felt like " divorcing " my > sister > > > who wouldn't allow us to > > > stay at her home b/c she was afraid Kim > would > > > break their belongings when > > > Kim was at a stage when she had > " behaviors " . I > > > " forgave " them at a later > > > point when I realized that just b/c they're > > > " family " they don't > > > understand or be supportive of what we go > > > through. As a mom, I don't even > > > begin to know what people on the spectrum > > > really go through, but I > > > appreciate all the input that I get from > those > > > on the spectrum that can > > > express some of the experiences, which is > very > > > helpful to me. > > > > > > I hope it helps to be on this group, as I > think > > > being able to talk about > > > your feelings helps. > > > > > > Marie > > > > > > -- > > > Marie > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have > been > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > 2061 East 40th Avenue > > Vancouver, BC > > V5P 1J4 > > CANADA > > > > Home Phone: > > > > Online Journal: > http://blog.myspace.com/aspergergal > > > > The Silent Meow: > > > > > The Asperger's Difference: > > > http://www.aspires-relationships.com/writings_tara__Torme.htm > > > > A Series Of Short Stories & Poems by T K > Torme: www.tktorme.com > > > > Asperger_Social_Support email list: > > > > Group home page: > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asperger_Social_Support > > > > Group email address: > Asperger_Social_Support > > > > Asperger Social email list: > > > > Group home page: > http://groups.google.com/group/asperger-social?hl=en > > > > Group email address: > asperger-socialgooglegroups > > > > > > Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing > photos and more... Try the new > > Yahoo! Canada Messenger at > http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ > > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > > ------------------------ > > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2008 Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 Tara, Oh!!!! I am *so sorry* to hear that your email got to your aunt & uncle. If they read just the words & not the pain & hurt for what's happened, which is probably what happened. Maybe you can call & explain to them how their actions affected you (your grandparents), not that you're a money hungry leech looking for handouts. It hurts to be left out. Of course, it's the uncle that's been getting the attention that got this email, right? I wonder how it got to him from an autism listserve? I hope the repercussions are not too negative, but from the sounds of your email about how they are, this may unfortunately justify in their minds whatever opinion they already have. I hope they will have kind hearts to overlook it. Take care, Marie A. mom to Kim On Jan 7, 2008 5:03 PM, Tara Kimberley Torme wrote: > Hi , > > My Aunt and Uncle somehow got a copy of this > particular email which I did NOT send them and my > Uncle went to my Opa who called my mommy who > yelled at me for hours and hours on end. > > Apparently my email was interpreted that I had > slandered my grandparents and now they are angry > with me (again). > > I wrote them letters of apologies and mailed them > off, hoping that they will read my letter and > know that I am truly sorry for hurting their > feelings. > > I even asked them if they wished to punish me, to > leave my portion of my inheritance that I would > have gotten from either of them to my mommy as > she does not need to be punished too and that she > does deserve something as well. > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > --- Marie wrote: > > > Hi Tara, > > > > I agree with you about, If I had a bucketload > > of money, that I would leave > > something for everyone & not exclude anyone > > too. > > > > I hope what shows up in writing is not > > misconstrued as anything negative or > > criticizing & isn't interpreted that way. > > > > Marie A. > > > > On Jan 7, 2008 1:00 PM, Tara Kimberley Torme > > wrote: > > > > > Hi Marie, > > > > > > I read your email and have been digesting it > > for > > > several days. The thing is, if I had a bucket > > > load of money I would make sure that ALL my > > > relatives - immediate and distant - relatives > > > I've never even met but I know that exist - > > got > > > something from me when I die. I'd make sure > > that > > > everybody got a little something - whether it > > be > > > money or even a copy of my writings > > etc...that > > > way people will always remember be forever > > and > > > ever. I would not exclude people like my own > > > family has done to me. > > > > > > Here is the thing: My Opa had a father who > > died > > > of TB and his mother I don't think treated > > the > > > family very well. The mother had the eldest > > child > > > (a sister who is now dead) work on the farm > > and > > > the two youngest children got all of the help > > > they needed and wanted from the mother. My > > Opa > > > grew up without a father figure as did my > > Omit as > > > well. History repeated itself with my mother > > and > > > her brother & sister where my mother got > > nothing > > > at all from my grandparents while my Aunt & > > Uncle > > > got all the help they needed and wanted. I > > think > > > with my Uncle Moe history is also repeating > > > itself with my 3 younger cousins - one of > > them > > > not really being the favorite - because she > > is > > > going into film studies and they don't > > approve of > > > such a vocation unless it is a doctor or a > > > teacher etc...The other two are pursuing more > > > " sensible " careers in teaching & other stuff > > as > > > well........Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > --- Marie > > wrote: > > > > > > > TKT: It really isn't about the money, > > really. > > > > But > > > > what angers me the most is how my relatives > > on > > > > my > > > > Father's side screwed me over the $25,000 > > that > > > > was left to me by my Paternal grandmother > > when > > > > she died on Dec. 20, 2003. That is what > > really > > > > angers, upsets and saddens me the most. If > > I > > > > were > > > > a multi - millionaire I would make sure > > that > > > > every single one of my living relatives - > > even > > > > those I had never met would have their > > needs > > > > taken care of. Even if they were mean to me > > in > > > > life I would make sure that in death I > > would > > > > leave everybody a little something. To > > leave > > > > any > > > > relative out would be mean, cold, cruel and > > > > selfish and greedy. I don't want to be that > > > > mean > > > > lady who left her entire fortune to her > > dog, > > > > not > > > > leaving a penny to her own children > > (biological > > > > or fake children). Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > > > Hi Tara, > > > > > > > > A similar thing happened to my MIL, twice & > > > > also to one of Kim's providers. > > > > It seems like when money is involved, > > people > > > > become selfish & greedy & only > > > > see how they can use the money. I find > > that > > > > when money is involved, even > > > > siblings will fight over it, let alone > > other > > > > relatives. I'm almost glad > > > > that my parents had/have no money to leave > > us & > > > > as my brother is taking care > > > > of our mom, he will get the house that > > they're > > > > living in now & the rest of > > > > us are OK with that. I look at my sister > > in > > > > law who is always after money > > > > in some form, from others & at 50 is still > > not > > > > self sufficient. > > > > > > > > I think Sondra's advice is a good one, to > > look > > > > at nonbiological people that > > > > you meet who you can connect with, that > > will > > > > become your support system. If > > > > you can make those connections locally, so > > you > > > > have " live " people to talk > > > > to, hopefully that will be of help. > > > > > > > > At one point, I felt like " divorcing " my > > sister > > > > who wouldn't allow us to > > > > stay at her home b/c she was afraid Kim > > would > > > > break their belongings when > > > > Kim was at a stage when she had > > " behaviors " . I > > > > " forgave " them at a later > > > > point when I realized that just b/c they're > > > > " family " they don't > > > > understand or be supportive of what we go > > > > through. As a mom, I don't even > > > > begin to know what people on the spectrum > > > > really go through, but I > > > > appreciate all the input that I get from > > those > > > > on the spectrum that can > > > > express some of the experiences, which is > > very > > > > helpful to me. > > > > > > > > I hope it helps to be on this group, as I > > think > > > > being able to talk about > > > > your feelings helps. > > > > > > > > Marie > > > > > > > > -- > > > > Marie > > > > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have > > been > > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > 2061 East 40th Avenue > > > Vancouver, BC > > > V5P 1J4 > > > CANADA > > > > > > Home Phone: > > > > > > Online Journal: > > http://blog.myspace.com/aspergergal > > > > > > The Silent Meow: > > > > > > > > The Asperger's Difference: > > > > > > http://www.aspires-relationships.com/writings_tara__Torme.htm > > > > > > A Series Of Short Stories & Poems by T K > > Torme: www.tktorme.com > > > > > > Asperger_Social_Support email list: > > > > > > Group home page: > > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asperger_Social_Support > > > > > > Group email address: > > Asperger_Social_Support > > > > > > Asperger Social email list: > > > > > > Group home page: > > > http://groups.google.com/group/asperger-social?hl=en > > > > > > Group email address: > > asperger-socialgooglegroups > > > > > > > > > Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing > > photos and more... Try the new > > > Yahoo! Canada Messenger at > > http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ > > > > > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > > > ------------------------ > > > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2008 Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 Tara, Oh!!!! I am *so sorry* to hear that your email got to your aunt & uncle. If they read just the words & not the pain & hurt for what's happened, which is probably what happened. Maybe you can call & explain to them how their actions affected you (your grandparents), not that you're a money hungry leech looking for handouts. It hurts to be left out. Of course, it's the uncle that's been getting the attention that got this email, right? I wonder how it got to him from an autism listserve? I hope the repercussions are not too negative, but from the sounds of your email about how they are, this may unfortunately justify in their minds whatever opinion they already have. I hope they will have kind hearts to overlook it. Take care, Marie A. mom to Kim On Jan 7, 2008 5:03 PM, Tara Kimberley Torme wrote: > Hi , > > My Aunt and Uncle somehow got a copy of this > particular email which I did NOT send them and my > Uncle went to my Opa who called my mommy who > yelled at me for hours and hours on end. > > Apparently my email was interpreted that I had > slandered my grandparents and now they are angry > with me (again). > > I wrote them letters of apologies and mailed them > off, hoping that they will read my letter and > know that I am truly sorry for hurting their > feelings. > > I even asked them if they wished to punish me, to > leave my portion of my inheritance that I would > have gotten from either of them to my mommy as > she does not need to be punished too and that she > does deserve something as well. > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > --- Marie wrote: > > > Hi Tara, > > > > I agree with you about, If I had a bucketload > > of money, that I would leave > > something for everyone & not exclude anyone > > too. > > > > I hope what shows up in writing is not > > misconstrued as anything negative or > > criticizing & isn't interpreted that way. > > > > Marie A. > > > > On Jan 7, 2008 1:00 PM, Tara Kimberley Torme > > wrote: > > > > > Hi Marie, > > > > > > I read your email and have been digesting it > > for > > > several days. The thing is, if I had a bucket > > > load of money I would make sure that ALL my > > > relatives - immediate and distant - relatives > > > I've never even met but I know that exist - > > got > > > something from me when I die. I'd make sure > > that > > > everybody got a little something - whether it > > be > > > money or even a copy of my writings > > etc...that > > > way people will always remember be forever > > and > > > ever. I would not exclude people like my own > > > family has done to me. > > > > > > Here is the thing: My Opa had a father who > > died > > > of TB and his mother I don't think treated > > the > > > family very well. The mother had the eldest > > child > > > (a sister who is now dead) work on the farm > > and > > > the two youngest children got all of the help > > > they needed and wanted from the mother. My > > Opa > > > grew up without a father figure as did my > > Omit as > > > well. History repeated itself with my mother > > and > > > her brother & sister where my mother got > > nothing > > > at all from my grandparents while my Aunt & > > Uncle > > > got all the help they needed and wanted. I > > think > > > with my Uncle Moe history is also repeating > > > itself with my 3 younger cousins - one of > > them > > > not really being the favorite - because she > > is > > > going into film studies and they don't > > approve of > > > such a vocation unless it is a doctor or a > > > teacher etc...The other two are pursuing more > > > " sensible " careers in teaching & other stuff > > as > > > well........Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > --- Marie > > wrote: > > > > > > > TKT: It really isn't about the money, > > really. > > > > But > > > > what angers me the most is how my relatives > > on > > > > my > > > > Father's side screwed me over the $25,000 > > that > > > > was left to me by my Paternal grandmother > > when > > > > she died on Dec. 20, 2003. That is what > > really > > > > angers, upsets and saddens me the most. If > > I > > > > were > > > > a multi - millionaire I would make sure > > that > > > > every single one of my living relatives - > > even > > > > those I had never met would have their > > needs > > > > taken care of. Even if they were mean to me > > in > > > > life I would make sure that in death I > > would > > > > leave everybody a little something. To > > leave > > > > any > > > > relative out would be mean, cold, cruel and > > > > selfish and greedy. I don't want to be that > > > > mean > > > > lady who left her entire fortune to her > > dog, > > > > not > > > > leaving a penny to her own children > > (biological > > > > or fake children). Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > > > Hi Tara, > > > > > > > > A similar thing happened to my MIL, twice & > > > > also to one of Kim's providers. > > > > It seems like when money is involved, > > people > > > > become selfish & greedy & only > > > > see how they can use the money. I find > > that > > > > when money is involved, even > > > > siblings will fight over it, let alone > > other > > > > relatives. I'm almost glad > > > > that my parents had/have no money to leave > > us & > > > > as my brother is taking care > > > > of our mom, he will get the house that > > they're > > > > living in now & the rest of > > > > us are OK with that. I look at my sister > > in > > > > law who is always after money > > > > in some form, from others & at 50 is still > > not > > > > self sufficient. > > > > > > > > I think Sondra's advice is a good one, to > > look > > > > at nonbiological people that > > > > you meet who you can connect with, that > > will > > > > become your support system. If > > > > you can make those connections locally, so > > you > > > > have " live " people to talk > > > > to, hopefully that will be of help. > > > > > > > > At one point, I felt like " divorcing " my > > sister > > > > who wouldn't allow us to > > > > stay at her home b/c she was afraid Kim > > would > > > > break their belongings when > > > > Kim was at a stage when she had > > " behaviors " . I > > > > " forgave " them at a later > > > > point when I realized that just b/c they're > > > > " family " they don't > > > > understand or be supportive of what we go > > > > through. As a mom, I don't even > > > > begin to know what people on the spectrum > > > > really go through, but I > > > > appreciate all the input that I get from > > those > > > > on the spectrum that can > > > > express some of the experiences, which is > > very > > > > helpful to me. > > > > > > > > I hope it helps to be on this group, as I > > think > > > > being able to talk about > > > > your feelings helps. > > > > > > > > Marie > > > > > > > > -- > > > > Marie > > > > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have > > been > > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > 2061 East 40th Avenue > > > Vancouver, BC > > > V5P 1J4 > > > CANADA > > > > > > Home Phone: > > > > > > Online Journal: > > http://blog.myspace.com/aspergergal > > > > > > The Silent Meow: > > > > > > > > The Asperger's Difference: > > > > > > http://www.aspires-relationships.com/writings_tara__Torme.htm > > > > > > A Series Of Short Stories & Poems by T K > > Torme: www.tktorme.com > > > > > > Asperger_Social_Support email list: > > > > > > Group home page: > > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asperger_Social_Support > > > > > > Group email address: > > Asperger_Social_Support > > > > > > Asperger Social email list: > > > > > > Group home page: > > > http://groups.google.com/group/asperger-social?hl=en > > > > > > Group email address: > > asperger-socialgooglegroups > > > > > > > > > Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing > > photos and more... Try the new > > > Yahoo! Canada Messenger at > > http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ > > > > > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > > > ------------------------ > > > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2008 Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 Hi Marie, I also emailed this letter from another email address to another cousin but not to my Aunt & Uncle. As for calling them it is no use right now as they are still angry at me and they are busy with packing and moving to a new place of residence. What I've done is to write a series of letter to my Opa, hoping that he will eventually talk to me and that he will no longer be angry with me. Anyway, as for my Uncle he always shows emails from me on this sort of nature to my Opa - everytime I am spewing out something negative he will go running to my grandparents, " informing " them of what I have been up to on the internet. And then they will call my mommy who will find out about it from them. And then I will get yelled at for hours and hours on end. Thank you very much for your kind ear, Marie. Best, Tara Kimberley Torme --- Marie wrote: > Tara, > > Oh!!!! I am *so sorry* to hear that your > email got to your aunt & uncle. > If they read just the words & not the pain & > hurt for what's happened, which > is probably what happened. Maybe you can call > & explain to them how their > actions affected you (your grandparents), not > that you're a money hungry > leech looking for handouts. It hurts to be > left out. > > Of course, it's the uncle that's been getting > the attention that got this > email, right? I wonder how it got to him from > an autism listserve? > > I hope the repercussions are not too negative, > but from the sounds of your > email about how they are, this may > unfortunately justify in their minds > whatever opinion they already have. I hope > they will have kind hearts to > overlook it. > > Take care, > Marie A. mom to Kim > > On Jan 7, 2008 5:03 PM, Tara Kimberley Torme > > wrote: > > > Hi , > > > > My Aunt and Uncle somehow got a copy of this > > particular email which I did NOT send them > and my > > Uncle went to my Opa who called my mommy who > > yelled at me for hours and hours on end. > > > > Apparently my email was interpreted that I > had > > slandered my grandparents and now they are > angry > > with me (again). > > > > I wrote them letters of apologies and mailed > them > > off, hoping that they will read my letter and > > know that I am truly sorry for hurting their > > feelings. > > > > I even asked them if they wished to punish > me, to > > leave my portion of my inheritance that I > would > > have gotten from either of them to my mommy > as > > she does not need to be punished too and that > she > > does deserve something as well. > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > --- Marie > wrote: > > > > > Hi Tara, > > > > > > I agree with you about, If I had a > bucketload > > > of money, that I would leave > > > something for everyone & not exclude anyone > > > too. > > > > > > I hope what shows up in writing is not > > > misconstrued as anything negative or > > > criticizing & isn't interpreted that way. > > > > > > Marie A. > > > > > > On Jan 7, 2008 1:00 PM, Tara Kimberley > Torme > > > wrote: > > > > > > > Hi Marie, > > > > > > > > I read your email and have been digesting > it > > > for > > > > several days. The thing is, if I had a > bucket > > > > load of money I would make sure that ALL > my > > > > relatives - immediate and distant - > relatives > > > > I've never even met but I know that exist > - > > > got > > > > something from me when I die. I'd make > sure > > > that > > > > everybody got a little something - > whether it > > > be > > > > money or even a copy of my writings > > > etc...that > > > > way people will always remember be > forever > > > and > > > > ever. I would not exclude people like my > own > > > > family has done to me. > > > > > > > > Here is the thing: My Opa had a father > who > > > died > > > > of TB and his mother I don't think > treated > > > the > > > > family very well. The mother had the > eldest > > > child > > > > (a sister who is now dead) work on the > farm > > > and > > > > the two youngest children got all of the > help > > > > they needed and wanted from the mother. > My > > > Opa > > > > grew up without a father figure as did my > > > Omit as > > > > well. History repeated itself with my > mother > > > and > > > > her brother & sister where my mother got > > > nothing > > > > at all from my grandparents while my Aunt > & > > > Uncle > > > > got all the help they needed and wanted. > I > > > think > > > > with my Uncle Moe history is also > repeating > > > > itself with my 3 younger cousins - one of > > > them > > > > not really being the favorite - because > she > > > is > > > > going into film studies and they don't > > > approve of > > > > such a vocation unless it is a doctor or > a > > > > teacher etc...The other two are pursuing > more > > > > " sensible " careers in teaching & other > stuff > > > as > > > > well........Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > > > --- Marie > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > TKT: It really isn't about the money, > > > really. > > > > > But > > > > > what angers me the most is how my > relatives > > > on > > > > > my > > > > > Father's side screwed me over the > $25,000 > > > that > > > > > was left to me by my Paternal > grandmother > > > when > > > > > she died on Dec. 20, 2003. That is what > > > really > > > > > angers, upsets and saddens me the most. > If > > > I > > > > > were > > > > > a multi - millionaire I would make sure > > > that > > > > > every single one of my living relatives > - > > > even > > > > > those I had never met would have their > > > needs > > > > > taken care of. Even if they were mean > to me > > > in > > > > > life I would make sure that in death I > > > would > > > > > leave everybody a little something. To > > > leave > > > > > any > > > > > relative out would be mean, cold, cruel > and > > > > > selfish and greedy. I don't want to be > that > > > > > mean > > > > > lady who left her entire fortune to her > > > dog, > > > > > not > > > > > leaving a penny to her own children > > > (biological > > > > > or fake children). Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > > > > > Hi Tara, > > > > > > > > > > A similar thing happened to my MIL, > twice & > > > > > also to one of Kim's providers. > > > > > It seems like when money is involved, > > > people > > > > > become selfish & greedy & only > > > > > see how they can use the money. I find > > > that > > > > > when money is involved, even > > > > > siblings will fight over it, let alone > > > other > > > > > relatives. I'm almost glad > > > > > that my parents had/have no money to > leave > > > us & > > > > > as my brother is taking care > > > > > of our mom, he will get the house that > > > they're > > > > > living in now & the rest of > > > > > us are OK with that. I look at my > sister > > > in > > > > > law who is always after money > > > > > in some form, from others & at 50 is > still > > > not > > > > > self sufficient. > > > > > > > > > > I think Sondra's advice is a good one, > to > > > look > > > > > at nonbiological people that > > > > > you meet who you can connect with, that > > > will > > > > > become your support system. If > > > > > you can make those connections locally, > so > > > you > > > > > have " live " people to talk > > > > > to, hopefully that will be of help. > > > > > > > > > > At one point, I felt like " divorcing " > my > > > sister > > > > > who wouldn't allow us to > > > > > stay at her home b/c she was afraid Kim > > > would > > > > > break their belongings when > > > > > Kim was at a stage when she had > > > " behaviors " . I > > > > > " forgave " them at a later > > > > > point when I realized that just b/c > they're > > > > > " family " they don't > > > > > understand or be supportive of what we > go > > > > > through. As a mom, I don't even > > > > > begin to know what people on the > spectrum > > > > > really go through, but I > > > > > appreciate all the input that I get > from > > > those > > > > > on the spectrum that can > > > > > express some of the experiences, which > is > > > very > > > > > helpful to me. > > > > > > > > > > I hope it helps to be on this group, as > I > > > think > > > > > being able to talk about > > > > > your feelings helps. > > > > > > > > > > Marie > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > > > Marie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have > > > been > > > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > > > 2061 East 40th Avenue > > > > Vancouver, BC > > > > V5P 1J4 > > > > CANADA > > > > > > > > Home Phone: > > > > > > > > Online Journal: > > > http://blog.myspace.com/aspergergal > > > > > > > > The Silent Meow: > > > > > > > > > > > The Asperger's Difference: > > > > > > > > > > http://www.aspires-relationships.com/writings_tara__Torme.htm > > > > > > > > A Series Of Short Stories & Poems by T K > > > Torme: www.tktorme.com > > > > > > > > Asperger_Social_Support email list: > > > > > > > > Group home page: > > > > > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asperger_Social_Support > > > > > > > > Group email address: > > > Asperger_Social_Support > > > > > > > > Asperger Social email list: > > > > > > > > Group home page: > > > > > > http://groups.google.com/group/asperger-social?hl=en > > > > > > > > Group email address: > > > asperger-socialgooglegroups > > > > > > > > > > > > Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing > > > photos and more... Try the new > > > > Yahoo! Canada Messenger at > > > http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ > > > > > > > > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > > > > ------------------------ > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 Well, anytime you want to vent to me, feel free! Sometimes life sucks, doesn't it, but I feel like you're a fighter & will hang in there. Marie A Mom to Kim > > Hi Marie, > > I also emailed this letter from another email > address to another cousin but not to my Aunt & > Uncle. > > As for calling them it is no use right now as > they are still angry at me and they are busy with > packing and moving to a new place of residence. > What I've done is to write a series of letter to > my Opa, hoping that he will eventually talk to me > and that he will no longer be angry with me. > > Anyway, as for my Uncle he always shows emails > from me on this sort of nature to my Opa - > everytime I am spewing out something negative he > will go running to my grandparents, " informing " > them of what I have been up to on the internet. > And then they will call my mommy who will find > out about it from them. And then I will get > yelled at for hours and hours on end. > > Thank you very much for your kind ear, Marie. > > Best, > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > --- Marie wrote: > > > Tara, > > > > Oh!!!! I am *so sorry* to hear that your > > email got to your aunt & uncle. > > If they read just the words & not the pain & > > hurt for what's happened, which > > is probably what happened. Maybe you can call > > & explain to them how their > > actions affected you (your grandparents), not > > that you're a money hungry > > leech looking for handouts. It hurts to be > > left out. > > > > Of course, it's the uncle that's been getting > > the attention that got this > > email, right? I wonder how it got to him from > > an autism listserve? > > > > I hope the repercussions are not too negative, > > but from the sounds of your > > email about how they are, this may > > unfortunately justify in their minds > > whatever opinion they already have. I hope > > they will have kind hearts to > > overlook it. > > > > Take care, > > Marie A. mom to Kim > > > > On Jan 7, 2008 5:03 PM, Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > wrote: > > > > > Hi , > > > > > > My Aunt and Uncle somehow got a copy of this > > > particular email which I did NOT send them > > and my > > > Uncle went to my Opa who called my mommy who > > > yelled at me for hours and hours on end. > > > > > > Apparently my email was interpreted that I > > had > > > slandered my grandparents and now they are > > angry > > > with me (again). > > > > > > I wrote them letters of apologies and mailed > > them > > > off, hoping that they will read my letter and > > > know that I am truly sorry for hurting their > > > feelings. > > > > > > I even asked them if they wished to punish > > me, to > > > leave my portion of my inheritance that I > > would > > > have gotten from either of them to my mommy > > as > > > she does not need to be punished too and that > > she > > > does deserve something as well. > > > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > --- Marie > > wrote: > > > > > > > Hi Tara, > > > > > > > > I agree with you about, If I had a > > bucketload > > > > of money, that I would leave > > > > something for everyone & not exclude anyone > > > > too. > > > > > > > > I hope what shows up in writing is not > > > > misconstrued as anything negative or > > > > criticizing & isn't interpreted that way. > > > > > > > > Marie A. > > > > > > > > On Jan 7, 2008 1:00 PM, Tara Kimberley > > Torme > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > Hi Marie, > > > > > > > > > > I read your email and have been digesting > > it > > > > for > > > > > several days. The thing is, if I had a > > bucket > > > > > load of money I would make sure that ALL > > my > > > > > relatives - immediate and distant - > > relatives > > > > > I've never even met but I know that exist > > - > > > > got > > > > > something from me when I die. I'd make > > sure > > > > that > > > > > everybody got a little something - > > whether it > > > > be > > > > > money or even a copy of my writings > > > > etc...that > > > > > way people will always remember be > > forever > > > > and > > > > > ever. I would not exclude people like my > > own > > > > > family has done to me. > > > > > > > > > > Here is the thing: My Opa had a father > > who > > > > died > > > > > of TB and his mother I don't think > > treated > > > > the > > > > > family very well. The mother had the > > eldest > > > > child > > > > > (a sister who is now dead) work on the > > farm > > > > and > > > > > the two youngest children got all of the > > help > > > > > they needed and wanted from the mother. > > My > > > > Opa > > > > > grew up without a father figure as did my > > > > Omit as > > > > > well. History repeated itself with my > > mother > > > > and > > > > > her brother & sister where my mother got > > > > nothing > > > > > at all from my grandparents while my Aunt > > & > > > > Uncle > > > > > got all the help they needed and wanted. > > I > > > > think > > > > > with my Uncle Moe history is also > > repeating > > > > > itself with my 3 younger cousins - one of > > > > them > > > > > not really being the favorite - because > > she > > > > is > > > > > going into film studies and they don't > > > > approve of > > > > > such a vocation unless it is a doctor or > > a > > > > > teacher etc...The other two are pursuing > > more > > > > > " sensible " careers in teaching & other > > stuff > > > > as > > > > > well........Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > > > > > --- Marie > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > TKT: It really isn't about the money, > > > > really. > > > > > > But > > > > > > what angers me the most is how my > > relatives > > > > on > > > > > > my > > > > > > Father's side screwed me over the > > $25,000 > > > > that > > > > > > was left to me by my Paternal > > grandmother > > > > when > > > > > > she died on Dec. 20, 2003. That is what > > > > really > > > > > > angers, upsets and saddens me the most. > > If > > > > I > > > > > > were > > > > > > a multi - millionaire I would make sure > > > > that > > > > > > every single one of my living relatives > > - > > > > even > > > > > > those I had never met would have their > > > > needs > > > > > > taken care of. Even if they were mean > > to me > > > > in > > > > > > life I would make sure that in death I > > > > would > > > > > > leave everybody a little something. To > > > > leave > > > > > > any > > > > > > relative out would be mean, cold, cruel > > and > > > > > > selfish and greedy. I don't want to be > > that > > > > > > mean > > > > > > lady who left her entire fortune to her > > > > dog, > > > > > > not > > > > > > leaving a penny to her own children > > > > (biological > > > > > > or fake children). Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi Tara, > > > > > > > > > > > > A similar thing happened to my MIL, > > twice & > > > > > > also to one of Kim's providers. > > > > > > It seems like when money is involved, > > > > people > > > > > > become selfish & greedy & only > > > > > > see how they can use the money. I find > > > > that > > > > > > when money is involved, even > > > > > > siblings will fight over it, let alone > > > > other > > > > > > relatives. I'm almost glad > > > > > > that my parents had/have no money to > > leave > > > > us & > > > > > > as my brother is taking care > > > > > > of our mom, he will get the house that > > > > they're > > > > > > living in now & the rest of > > > > > > us are OK with that. I look at my > > sister > > > > in > > > > > > law who is always after money > > > > > > in some form, from others & at 50 is > > still > > > > not > > > > > > self sufficient. > > > > > > > > > > > > I think Sondra's advice is a good one, > > to > > > > look > > > > > > at nonbiological people that > > > > > > you meet who you can connect with, that > > > > will > > > > > > become your support system. If > > > > > > you can make those connections locally, > > so > > > > you > > > > > > have " live " people to talk > > > > > > to, hopefully that will be of help. > > > > > > > > > > > > At one point, I felt like " divorcing " > > my > > > > sister > > > > > > who wouldn't allow us to > > > > > > stay at her home b/c she was afraid Kim > > > > would > > > > > > break their belongings when > > > > > > Kim was at a stage when she had > > > > " behaviors " . I > > > > > > " forgave " them at a later > > > > > > point when I realized that just b/c > > they're > > > > > > " family " they don't > > > > > > understand or be supportive of what we > > go > > > > > > through. As a mom, I don't even > > > > > > begin to know what people on the > > spectrum > > > > > > really go through, but I > > > > > > appreciate all the input that I get > > from > > > > those > > > > > > on the spectrum that can > > > > > > express some of the experiences, which > > is > > > > very > > > > > > helpful to me. > > > > > > > > > > > > I hope it helps to be on this group, as > > I > > > > think > > > > > > being able to talk about > > > > > > your feelings helps. > > > > > > > > > > > > Marie > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > > > > Marie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have > > > > been > > > > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > > > > > 2061 East 40th Avenue > > > > > Vancouver, BC > > > > > V5P 1J4 > > > > > CANADA > > > > > > > > > > Home Phone: > > > > > > > > > > Online Journal: > > > > http://blog.myspace.com/aspergergal > > > > > > > > > > The Silent Meow: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The Asperger's Difference: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://www.aspires-relationships.com/writings_tara__Torme.htm > > > > > > > > > > A Series Of Short Stories & Poems by T K > > > > Torme: www.tktorme.com > > > > > > > > > > Asperger_Social_Support email list: > > > > > > > > > > Group home page: > > > > > > > > > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asperger_Social_Support > > > > > > > > > > Group email address: > > > > Asperger_Social_Support > > > > > > > > > > Asperger Social email list: > > > > > > > > > > Group home page: > > > > > > > > > > http://groups.google.com/group/asperger-social?hl=en > > > > > > > > > > Group email address: > > > > asperger-socialgooglegroups > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing > > > > photos and more... Try the new > > > > > Yahoo! Canada Messenger at > > > > http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > > > > > ------------------------ > > > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 Hi , I will certainly do that - off list of course! I should really learn not to post emails like that to my relatives that are about my relatives! I should know by now they are NOT on my side and never will be on my side! Tara Kimberley Torme --- Marie wrote: > Well, anytime you want to vent to me, feel > free! Sometimes life sucks, > doesn't it, but I feel like you're a fighter & > will hang in there. > > Marie A Mom to Kim > > > On 1/9/08, Tara Kimberley Torme > wrote: > > > > Hi Marie, > > > > I also emailed this letter from another email > > address to another cousin but not to my Aunt > & > > Uncle. > > > > As for calling them it is no use right now as > > they are still angry at me and they are busy > with > > packing and moving to a new place of > residence. > > What I've done is to write a series of letter > to > > my Opa, hoping that he will eventually talk > to me > > and that he will no longer be angry with me. > > > > Anyway, as for my Uncle he always shows > emails > > from me on this sort of nature to my Opa - > > everytime I am spewing out something negative > he > > will go running to my grandparents, > " informing " > > them of what I have been up to on the > internet. > > And then they will call my mommy who will > find > > out about it from them. And then I will get > > yelled at for hours and hours on end. > > > > Thank you very much for your kind ear, Marie. > > > > Best, > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > --- Marie > wrote: > > > > > Tara, > > > > > > Oh!!!! I am *so sorry* to hear that your > > > email got to your aunt & uncle. > > > If they read just the words & not the pain > & > > > hurt for what's happened, which > > > is probably what happened. Maybe you can > call > > > & explain to them how their > > > actions affected you (your grandparents), > not > > > that you're a money hungry > > > leech looking for handouts. It hurts to be > > > left out. > > > > > > Of course, it's the uncle that's been > getting > > > the attention that got this > > > email, right? I wonder how it got to him > from > > > an autism listserve? > > > > > > I hope the repercussions are not too > negative, > > > but from the sounds of your > > > email about how they are, this may > > > unfortunately justify in their minds > > > whatever opinion they already have. I hope > > > they will have kind hearts to > > > overlook it. > > > > > > Take care, > > > Marie A. mom to Kim > > > > > > On Jan 7, 2008 5:03 PM, Tara Kimberley > Torme > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > Hi , > > > > > > > > My Aunt and Uncle somehow got a copy of > this > > > > particular email which I did NOT send > them > > > and my > > > > Uncle went to my Opa who called my mommy > who > > > > yelled at me for hours and hours on end. > > > > > > > > Apparently my email was interpreted that > I > > > had > > > > slandered my grandparents and now they > are > > > angry > > > > with me (again). > > > > > > > > I wrote them letters of apologies and > mailed > > > them > > > > off, hoping that they will read my letter > and > > > > know that I am truly sorry for hurting > their > > > > feelings. > > > > > > > > I even asked them if they wished to > punish > > > me, to > > > > leave my portion of my inheritance that I > > > would > > > > have gotten from either of them to my > mommy > > > as > > > > she does not need to be punished too and > that > > > she > > > > does deserve something as well. > > > > > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > > > --- Marie > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > Hi Tara, > > > > > > > > > > I agree with you about, If I had a > > > bucketload > > > > > of money, that I would leave > > > > > something for everyone & not exclude > anyone > > > > > too. > > > > > > > > > > I hope what shows up in writing is not > > > > > misconstrued as anything negative or > > > > > criticizing & isn't interpreted that > way. > > > > > > > > > > Marie A. > > > > > > > > > > On Jan 7, 2008 1:00 PM, Tara Kimberley > > > Torme > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > Hi Marie, > > > > > > > > > > > > I read your email and have been > digesting > > > it > > > > > for > > > > > > several days. The thing is, if I had > a > > > bucket > > > > > > load of money I would make sure that > ALL > > > my > > > > > > relatives - immediate and distant - > > > relatives > > > > > > I've never even met but I know that > exist > > > - > > > > > got > > > > > > something from me when I die. I'd > make > > > sure > > > > > that > > > > > > everybody got a little something - > > > whether it > > > > > be > > > > > > money or even a copy of my writings > > > > > etc...that > > > > > > way people will always remember be > > > forever > > > > > and > > > > > > ever. I would not exclude people like > my > > > own > > > > > > family has done to me. > > > > > > > > > > > > Here is the thing: My Opa had a > father > > > who > > > > > died > > > > > > of TB and his mother I don't think > > > treated > > > > > the > > > > > > family very well. The mother had the > > > eldest > > > > > child > > > > > > (a sister who is now dead) work on > the > > > farm > > > > > and > > > > > > the two youngest children got all of > the > > > help > > > > > > they needed and wanted from the > mother. > > > My > > > > > Opa > > > > > > grew up without a father figure as > did my > > > > > Omit as > > > > > > well. History repeated itself with my > > > mother > > > > > and > > > > > > her brother & sister where my mother > got > > > > > nothing > > > > > > at all from my grandparents while my > Aunt > > > & > > > > > Uncle > > > > > > got all the help they needed and > wanted. > > > I > > > > > think > > > > > > with my Uncle Moe history is also > > > repeating > > > > > > itself with my 3 younger cousins - > one of > > > > > them > > > > > > not really being the favorite - > because > > > she > > > > > is > > > > > > going into film studies and they > don't > > > > > approve of > > > > > > such a vocation unless it is a doctor > or > > > a > > > > > > teacher etc...The other two are > pursuing > > > more > > > > > > " sensible " careers in teaching & > other > > > stuff > > > > > as > > > > > > well........Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > > > > > > > --- Marie > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > TKT: It really isn't about the > money, > > > > > really. > > > > > > > But > > > > > > > what angers me the most is how my > > > relatives > > > > > on > > > > > > > my > > > > > > > Father's side screwed me over the > > > $25,000 > > > > > that > > > > > > > was left to me by my Paternal > > > grandmother > > > > > when > > > > > > > she died on Dec. 20, 2003. That is > what > > > > > really > > > > > > > angers, upsets and saddens me the > most. > > > If > > > > > I > > > > > > > were > > > > > > > a multi - millionaire I would make > sure > > > > > that > > > > > > > every single one of my living > relatives > > > - > > > > > even > > > > > > > those I had never met would have > their > > > > > needs > > > > > > > taken care of. Even if they were > mean > > > to me > > > > > in > > > > > > > life I would make sure that in > death I > > > > > would > > > > > > > leave everybody a little something. > To > > > > > leave > > > > > > > any > > > > > > > relative out would be mean, cold, > cruel > > > and > > > > > > > selfish and greedy. I don't want to > be > > > that > > > > > > > mean > > > > > > > lady who left her entire fortune to > her > > > > > dog, > > > > > > > not > > > > > > > leaving a penny to her own children > > > > > (biological > > > > > > > or fake children). Tara Kimberley > Torme > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi Tara, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A similar thing happened to my MIL, > > > twice & > > > > > > > also to one of Kim's providers. > > > > > > > It seems like when money is > involved, > > > > > people > > > > > > > become selfish & greedy & only > > > > > > > see how they can use the money. I > find > > > > > that > > > > > > > when money is involved, even > > > > > > > siblings will fight over it, let > alone > > > > > other > > > > > > > relatives. I'm almost glad > > > > > > > that my parents had/have no money > to > > > leave > > > > > us & > > > > > > > as my brother is taking care > > > > > > > of our mom, he will get the house > that > > > > > they're > > > > > > > living in now & the rest of > > > > > > > us are OK with that. I look at my > > > sister > > > > > in > > > > > > > law who is always after money > > > > > > > in some form, from others & at 50 > is > > > still > > > > > not > > > > > > > self sufficient. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I think Sondra's advice is a good > one, > > > to > > > > > look > > > > > > > at nonbiological people that > > > > > > > you meet who you can connect with, > that > > > > > will > > > > > > > become your support system. If > > > > > > > you can make those connections > locally, > > > so > > > > > you > > > > > > > have " live " people to talk > > > > > > > to, hopefully that will be of help. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > At one point, I felt like > " divorcing " > > > my > > > > > sister > > > > > > > who wouldn't allow us to > > > > > > > stay at her home b/c she was afraid > Kim > > > > > would > > > > > > > break their belongings when > > > > > > > Kim was at a stage when she had > > > > > " behaviors " . I > > > > > > > " forgave " them at a later > > > > > > > point when I realized that just b/c > > > they're > > > > > > > " family " they don't > > > > > > > understand or be supportive of what > we > > > go > > > > > > > through. As a mom, I don't even > > > > > > > begin to know what people on the > > > spectrum > > > > > > > really go through, but I > > > > > > > appreciate all the input that I get > > > from > > > > > those > > > > > > > on the spectrum that can > > > > > > > express some of the experiences, > which > > > is > > > > > very > > > > > > > helpful to me. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I hope it helps to be on this > group, as > > > I > > > > > think > > > > > > > being able to talk about > > > > > > > your feelings helps. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Marie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > > > > > Marie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message > have > > > > > been > > > > > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Tara Kimberley Torme > > > > > > > > > > > > 2061 East 40th Avenue > > > > > > Vancouver, BC > > > > > > V5P 1J4 > > > > > > CANADA > > > > > > > > > > > > Home Phone: > > > > > > > > > > > > Online Journal: > > > > > http://blog.myspace.com/aspergergal > > > > > > > > > > > > The Silent Meow: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The Asperger's Difference: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://www.aspires-relationships.com/writings_tara__Torme.htm > > > > > > > > > > > > A Series Of Short Stories & Poems by > T K > > > > > Torme: www.tktorme.com > > > > > > > > > > > > Asperger_Social_Support email list: > > > > > > > > > > > > Group home page: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asperger_Social_Support > > > > > > > > > > > > Group email address: > > > > > Asperger_Social_Support > > > > > > > > > > > > Asperger Social email list: > > > > > > > > > > > > Group home page: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://groups.google.com/group/asperger-social?hl=en > > > > > > > > > > > > Group email address: > > > > > asperger-socialgooglegroups > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Instant Messaging, free SMS, > sharing > > > > > photos and more... Try the new > > > > > > Yahoo! Canada Messenger at > > > > > http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > > > > > > ------------------------ > > > > > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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