Possible trigger... Not sure... I'm stressed...

[Guest guest]

I don't know what to do anymore. I am just so stressed out and Wyllow, my

wife, is trying to be supportive, but she doesn't fully get it.

I was diagnosed with lupus a few months ago. Its been a bitch. I am always

in pain, am extremely photosensitive, am always weak, and in general, not in

great shape. I'd been showing signs of the illness for at least a year and

always put off going to the doctor and getting checked because I'm just like

that. I won't go to doctor's unless things are bad and they started to get bad.

Its stressing me out. I quit my job at the bank, even though I had really good

health benefits, because the worse the stress my manager was putting me

under, the worse I felt. It was getting to the point I couldn't move. I was

coming home and crying a lot of the time and I was shaking from the stress. I

have

been actively looking for a job since the day after I quit the bank and its

not easy, but I have to do what I need to do.

Problem is as follows, my father-in-law has been bitching that I need to

find a job. He told Wyllow that if I'm not gonna work, I need to move back to my

parents' house... The people who screwed me up and pushed me to self-injury.

When Wyllow tried to explain to him that I'm sick and have still been trying

it didn't matter to him. However, a few hours later it was as if the fight

never happened and like a day or so later he gave us 100 dollars to hold us

over while we both job hunt. With him, its like he gets an idea in his head,

and

even if its already being worked on, he has to argue with you about it to

prove he is superior and always right.

The other problem is my dad. He has known, since my diagnosis, about the

lupus, and unlike my father-in-law, he knows a little and understands the

disease... His ex-wife has lupus. However, when I told him that I've been a

little

more sick than usual lately, he basically told me that it was some " dumb

shit " going on in my body... Like it was insignificant. My dad has been grouping

me and my older sister together because he is mad at her for being sick too.

My sister has degenerative back disease, asthma, bad knees, and is on top of

that, mentally unstable. So he automatically groups my sickness with the " dumb

shit " that is going on with my sister. He won't even believe she has asthma,

because he says that none of his family has had it. My sister has it because

of an infection in her lungs that she developed when she had pneumonia and

the doctors had her on the wrong meds for a week... They had her on meds she

was allergic to. We're lucky the worst effect was asthma and not death.

I just wish I knew what to do. I don't want to fight with my dad or

father-in-law, but they're both being insensitive pricks right now. I wouldn't

wish

what I am going thru on either of them, but at the same time, I wish they did

understand so they would back off. Yet at the same time, for different

reasons they both have been in similar situations. My father has had active

tuberculosis twice in his life and my father-in-law has thrown out his back to

the

point he can't move. Yet neither of them understand me right now. I don't know

what to do.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Skylar