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Fwd: The Purina Diet

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Subject: The Purina Diet

I've told a lot of stories but this one tops them all.

>

> I have a Labrador retriever.

> ; I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to

> check out.

> A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?

> On impulse, I told her that no, that I was starting The Purina

> Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the

> hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an

> intensive

> care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in

> both arms.

>

> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way

> that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and

> simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is

> nutritionally

> complete so I was going to try it again.

> I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by

> now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.

> Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog

> food poisoned me.

> I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and

> a car hit me.

>

> I thought the tall guy behind her was going to need help as he

> staggered to the door laughing uncontrollably.

>

>

>

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