Off the Subject, and Off The Wall, with Ken.....(trying to Come Back Again!)

[Guest guest]

Greetings!

I remember back, when I was a Teen,

and I wanted to Buy A Car,

but my wallet was,at that time, lean:

(That's how most Teens Are!)

Well,I had a coffee can, up on the shelf,

where I kept (ha!) " all my bucks " ,

I asked " Dad " for help, He said " Do It Yourself! "

So, I got the paper, and there,I had some luck!!

The Ad said " Used, not driven for a while,

but it should run good, " that made me smile,

" cause it also said the price was 50 dollars!

Now, not having had any " Practice " at this,

there were " things to ask " why? " , that I just " missed " ,

" cause I was just so excited, I could Holler!

Well,I hitch-hiked out to where the guy lived,

'bout 30 miles, take, or give,.......

(This Cuban lived out in the Florida country-side),

Well, " The Car " was out in his back yard,

spotting it wasn't;'t too darn hard....

as a matter of fact,it'd really be hard to hide!

It was a Valiant,with a push button dash,

instead of a manual transmission,

" painted " in primer, the colour of ash,

and it looked like it wouldn't move, without nuclear fission!

Out from the hood, was sprouting grass,

and there was a hole, instead of glass,

back behind where should have been the seats,

Oh, there were seats,I just looked around,

and found 'em lying there, on the ground,

and the Cuban said " No Worry, she'sa good engine unner da hood! "

Well, at the price, I hadda give him some slack,

even tho' the car " STOPPED, " right there at the back.....

He's cut off the roof,halfway, and there WAS no trunk

No fenders,either, and no back seat,

but what I thought was really neat

was He'd fastened a sheet of plywood right on the frame!

Well, I popped the hood, to look, and see,

and something scared the heck outta me....

see, this squirrel had made a nest on the carburetor!

When I opened the door, it fell off at my feet,

but I STILL thought " Man, this is really neat! "

My " Dad " wouldn't help with a car, and He's gonna HATE HER!

I put the seats in, and then I sat down,

and the door to the glove box fell on the ground,

and inside was a nest of little mice!

Well, the tires on the " car " were still pretty good,

'cause the axles were sitting on blocks of wood,

And I told that Cuban I'd buy it if he'd get her running!

He looked at me with big ol eyes,

'cause I guess that he was really surprised,:

After all that happened, he thought that I was " funning " !

Well, I gave him my money, said " Tomorrow we'd start " ,

And we got her to running, and boy, she had heart!

That piece of crap Valiant could really run!

The roof only went to the back of my neck,

and there weren't no doors, but what the heck...

at least I had some shade from the Florida sun!

When I got her home, I thought Mom would faint!

I told her " Don't worry...I got some paint! "

(What I DIDN " T say , it was water-based yellow house paint!)

After 40 coats, she looked pretty fine,

(Well, it did, at least in my own mind)

My very first piece of crap car, and it was MINE!

Now, sometimes(?) Teens don't think so hot....

and there was something I forgot.....

See, in Florida, well, it really rains a lot!

Whenever I took her out for a drive,

I,guess it's lucky,, I stayed alive.....

that house paint RAN, and I'd leave a flying trail of paint behind!

Some poor guy would get behind me,

and his windshield turned yellow, and he couldn't see,

and all his wipers did was smear it around!

No car,behind me, ever lingered,

and EVERYONE always " shot me the finger " ,

and SOME even yelled, and screamed until they turned hoarse!

My Mom begged me " Don't park near our house " ,

which for 2 minutes made me feel like a louse,

and I ALWAYS got stopped by the cops,who'd laugh, of course!

Well, THAT'S the tale of my 50 buck car,

and I hope you enjoyed it, who ever you are,

and I swear it, every word I said is true!

So, if your kid wants " car help " , (Don't get me wrong),

Perhaps it's better if you go along......

Yellow house paint don't look too good on anyone's car!

ken

samuelsen, Jan.31st, 07 .

,

---------------------------------

Don't get soaked. Take a quick peak at the forecast

with the Search weather shortcut.