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- thank you so much for the welcome. I'm glad to have found this place. I have chronic pain due to a crushing injury to my arrm and to lupus and arthritis.

Hugs, Laurey

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  • 1 year later...
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Craig,

Welcome to ModOasis. As they say in Al-Anon 'Glad you are here.

Sorry for the reasons you're here.'

I just wanted to point out how much reading SWOE (Stopping Walking on

Eggshells) and UMB (Understanding the Borderline Mother) have helped

me out in addition to this website and bpdcentral.com (that's how I

found this website- Helen over at BPDcentral- she's a wellspring of

resources like Edith and numerous people on this board). When reading

those two books, I finally felt like I had a game plan that works when

dealing with nada. Consequently, it has also helped with my fleas and

other relationships I've had whereby I've projected my own fleas- done

a lot of apologizing in the awareness process and it's all good in my

opinion...albeit painful.

I empathize with you concerning your fada (dishrag dad as we also put

it here at Mod). I imagine it's highly frustrating to have a mental

health professional in the household and still not getting your needs

met or your sibling's need met for that matter. The sad truth of it

is that the mental health profession has also been fairly biased

against this mental disorder just b/c they too find BPs difficult to

deal with in therapy. Before the 1990s, most all of the books on how

to deal with Borderlines stemmed from the therapeutic setting, of a

counselor who deals with a BP two to three hours a week at most. I

say Thank Heavens for Randi Kreger seeing a need for families learning

how to cope with the BPs in their lives and doing so much research on

this topic that lead to her book SWOE. Finally it seemed like someone

recognized that the needs of the families of BPs to deal with the

behaviors was just as vital as the therapists manuals. It's my

personal opinion we could probably use for a few more books even

though I'm still catching up on reading.

I went to 8 different therapist from the time I was 13-22 and no one

ever mentioned this disorder to me. I have issues too with trusting

therapy based on my experience and am luckily working through them now

with my therapist. I've been in therapy for a year and I think there

are a few of us here who've gone that route.

Again, welcome and I hope you find this place as much of a safe haven

as I have.

Kere

> Edith, thanks again for the email/post about Counterwill. I just

> signed up here in addition to the Sibling group. The concept of

> being " emotionally self-confident " is right on. My middle sister

(J)

> did not fight back with my mom like my oldest sis (K who is BPD) & I

> did. And J has always been the more sensitive and emotional out of

> us 3.

>

> Since I'm new, I'll share my story (the more I write about it, the

> better I will feel, right?!) I'm 34 and was just diagnosed with

ADHD

> & a Learning Disorder. I'm currently dealing with memories of my

BPD

> mother who verbally and emotionally abused me as a kid. I now

> believe that it was in part due to my ADD and also having an older

> sister with BPD - mom had no patience. I still harbor some

> resentment (I just want one apology for acknowledgement!) My dad

> feels bad that they did not pick up on the ADD or LD which could

have

> spared me all the yelling & chaos, and understands my seeking

> therapy. He's a psychologist (retired) so I also resent him for not

> stepping in to stop all the fighting that went on & not protecting

us

> from the " monster " (I remember telling him to make mom and sis stop

> fighting but he did nothing) Edith told me " nada " is a better word,

> but not sure I understand why?

>

> My immediate concern is how to I face my mom for " normal " visits

when

> I have so many vivid bad memories from childhood?

>

> Anyway, looking forward to healing with the rest of y'all...

>

> :)

> Craig

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  • 4 months later...
  • 5 years later...

>

>

> I am still learning everyone here- I am sort of new still- Alissa is

> my daughter- she is 8 and in second grade. We didn't learn exactly

> what was wrong with her until kindergarden. Her ped group missed it-

&

> it was almost a relief to learn how to help alissa. Now 3 yrs later

> she is like a totally different person entirely. She didn't get early

> intervention or anything but she is the most talkative one in her

> class & now is in a regular class 2-3 hrs a day. she is learning like

> wildfire & also communicating better than we ever imagined while

> sitting at the first IEP meeting.

> Welcome to you- this group is a godsend- each day I cannot wait to

> hear all the info passed- it is a wonderful bunch here!!

>

> annette- mom to 3 boys- Chris-23, Nick-19 & Danny-16 & Alissa 8

>Hello, I am new here also. I have an 8yr old daughter, Haley. she's

on the spectrum. She seems to have regressed in the last year, i think

from the school they placed her in, lots of problems! The school board

made a special class for her because in first grade she was progressing

and after a few months at the new school something went wrong. Now

she's doing great in school...at home its very hard!!!

Ronda

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Thanks for all your welcomes. It is nice to find an active group about girls

and one with older children. I have so much to learn from all of you!

alissasmomma wrote:

I am still learning everyone here- I am sort of new still- Alissa is

my daughter- she is 8 and in second grade. We didn't learn exactly

what was wrong with her until kindergarden. Her ped group missed it- &

it was almost a relief to learn how to help alissa. Now 3 yrs later

she is like a totally different person entirely. She didn't get early

intervention or anything but she is the most talkative one in her

class & now is in a regular class 2-3 hrs a day. she is learning like

wildfire & also communicating better than we ever imagined while

sitting at the first IEP meeting.

Welcome to you- this group is a godsend- each day I cannot wait to

hear all the info passed- it is a wonderful bunch here!!

annette- mom to 3 boys- Chris-23, Nick-19 & Danny-16 & Alissa 8

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

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Thanks for all your welcomes. It is nice to find an active group about girls

and one with older children. I have so much to learn from all of you!

alissasmomma wrote:

I am still learning everyone here- I am sort of new still- Alissa is

my daughter- she is 8 and in second grade. We didn't learn exactly

what was wrong with her until kindergarden. Her ped group missed it- &

it was almost a relief to learn how to help alissa. Now 3 yrs later

she is like a totally different person entirely. She didn't get early

intervention or anything but she is the most talkative one in her

class & now is in a regular class 2-3 hrs a day. she is learning like

wildfire & also communicating better than we ever imagined while

sitting at the first IEP meeting.

Welcome to you- this group is a godsend- each day I cannot wait to

hear all the info passed- it is a wonderful bunch here!!

annette- mom to 3 boys- Chris-23, Nick-19 & Danny-16 & Alissa 8

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

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Rhonda,

I have a 8yr old daughter, that does the same thing at school she

is doing okay, but when she comes home oh look out all Hell breaks

loose. I figured it out that she is over stimulated and if something

changes in the classroom. My daughter barely displays anything at

school it is all at home. But she is starting to display some at

school.

Dawn

> >Hello, I am new here also. I have an 8yr old daughter, Haley.

she's

> on the spectrum. She seems to have regressed in the last year, i

think

> from the school they placed her in, lots of problems! The school

board

> made a special class for her because in first grade she was

progressing

> and after a few months at the new school something went wrong. Now

> she's doing great in school...at home its very hard!!!

>

> Ronda

>

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Rhonda,

I have a 8yr old daughter, that does the same thing at school she

is doing okay, but when she comes home oh look out all Hell breaks

loose. I figured it out that she is over stimulated and if something

changes in the classroom. My daughter barely displays anything at

school it is all at home. But she is starting to display some at

school.

Dawn

> >Hello, I am new here also. I have an 8yr old daughter, Haley.

she's

> on the spectrum. She seems to have regressed in the last year, i

think

> from the school they placed her in, lots of problems! The school

board

> made a special class for her because in first grade she was

progressing

> and after a few months at the new school something went wrong. Now

> she's doing great in school...at home its very hard!!!

>

> Ronda

>

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  • 4 years later...
Guest guest

Hi All, I've just posted a bunch of items for our newest member who was only diagnosed this week. Hope they help hun. I'm SuZie, one of the moderators here at Dummies. Unlike you, I was dx'd (diagnosed) over twenty years ago ( in 1991). My docs & I figure I caught it in 1969 so I've had it for 43 years! I've tried tx (treatment) twice, but that was back in the old days - '91 & '95 when the tx wasn't as good as it is now & my chances weren't very good anyways (the docs said around 12%) I already had cirrhosis so I didn't respond. I wanted to try thr latest tx but my docs say it could just make things worse. Ask us anything - there's no such thing as a stupid question. If we don't already have the answer,

we'll find it, we know where to look. Check out our home page, there's lots of info there. Above all, stay positive! More people die with He'll just wih it wouuldp C than die of it. It won't kill you, you'll just wish it would ;-) Take Care & Stay in touch,SuZieMay you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're

dead

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