How to get Cardiovascular disease. Limited time offer.

February 8, 2012

Do you want cardiovascular disease? We can help! And our fees are reasonable

too. Just follow these easy steps.

1. Take up smoking.

2. Relocate to an area where CVD occurs more. This may mean moving to

Misisssippi or another state with high death rates.

3.Our Deluxe package involves relocation to Russia or eastern Europe where CVD

rages. This is of course an additional fee.

4. Once you have relocated you can chose to live by a busy freeway or downwind

from a dirty coal burning plant. Be sure to inhale deeply so the soot and

particles can reach your blood vessels and do their vascular damage.

5. Jog by a busy freeway. Our expert placement staff can take you to busy roads

where cars don't have catalytic converters or EGR valves. Here you can jog and

deep breath all the sulfur dioxide and exhaust particles you want.

But wait! there's more! If you order before midnight, you will recieve the add

on occupational hazard package absolutely free! Thats right, free job placement

in a working environment that exposes you to burning petroleum products and

solvents.

So what are you waiting for? Call now 1- and order. The first 15

callers will receive absolutely free 4 plug-in air fresheners to fill your home

with formaldehyde and get the damage started NOW!

Thats 1-. ( End of ad)

Notice there was no mention of cholesterol levels or fat. Why?

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