Guest guest Posted April 19, 2011 Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 Needing love and attention is a natural human desire. Not getting enough leads to failure to thrive (I think said this in one podcast). Can you ask your parents or friends to spend some more time with you? You mentioned before that you saw a movie with your dad... maybe that's something you could plan for one night a week? Are there some group activities that you could do around school? Like a movie or book club? I like 's idea of theater. It's okay to be afraid, but just know that you WILL get through this. With love, Yuna > > thanks for the quote. > > well, everyone. i binged all day today.. that's about five big binge days in > a row. i am not at my family's passover seder, which is kinda sad... i find > myself looking into weight loss products, as well as Overeaters Anonymous > (12-step) meetings.. i'm obviously screaming for love, attention, etc. > > i've committed to not eating any more tonight. > > i'm afraid for me life. > > thanks, > Avie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2011 Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 thank you for the wonderful quote and your insights. I feel as you do.. Not struggling but definitely off balance. I'm fasting during Lent so. Lot of foods are 'off limit' right now but I have overeaten on the allowed foods. Avie I agree that OA or some other professional person or group may be able to help you in a way that we are not able. You don't seem to me to need more attention but a professional could help you figure out what you do need. I have been where you more times than I can count Sweet Avie and I know the pain you must be feeling and the loneliness. Hugs... Sent from my iPhone > > > Needing love and attention is a natural human desire. Not getting enough leads to failure to thrive (I think said this in one podcast). > > Can you ask your parents or friends to spend some more time with you? You mentioned before that you saw a movie with your dad... maybe that's something you could plan for one night a week? Are there some group activities that you could do around school? Like a movie or book club? I like 's idea of theater. > > It's okay to be afraid, but just know that you WILL get through this. > > With love, > Yuna > > > > > > thanks for the quote. > > > > well, everyone. i binged all day today.. that's about five big binge days in > > a row. i am not at my family's passover seder, which is kinda sad... i find > > myself looking into weight loss products, as well as Overeaters Anonymous > > (12-step) meetings.. i'm obviously screaming for love, attention, etc. > > > > i've committed to not eating any more tonight. > > > > i'm afraid for me life. > > > > thanks, > > Avie > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2011 Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 It is a form of entertainment Avie! What else could u do for fun to stop binging? Sent from my iPhone > i think i'll just binge for the seventh day in a row.. that sound OK > to everyone? > > great. > Avie > > -- > Avie Linden > University of Michigan - Anthropology > Program in the Environment, History of Art > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2011 Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 You know Avie, I felt something similar the other day, you know that sense of helplessness about your relationship with food. I remember saying 'stuff this, I am going to eat what I feel like, why must i suffer' and it was at that moment i realised that i was actually in a battle and that i had not actually lost the battle. The fact that i was verbalising my frustration was an indication to me that I was somehow stilll hopeful about stopping myself in my tracks because otherwise i would have just gone ahead and binged but the fact that i made a mental and verbal note of my frustration told me i was still hopeful. Still hopeful that I can make small changes, even if that small change was verbalising frustration. SO you know what whether or not you go on and binge, you are okay, that's not the issue. THe important thing is if you gave into the binge, notice that and keep moving...I understand, what ever you do, please do not beat yourself up about it, just get up and go... Subject: IOWL To: insideoutweightloss Date: Thursday, 21 April, 2011, 5:24  i think i'll just binge for the seventh day in a row.. that sound OK to everyone? great. Avie -- Avie Linden University of Michigan - Anthropology Program in the Environment, History of Art Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2011 Report Share Posted April 21, 2011 Avie, if that's what you need to do, great. Do it. Is that what you need to hear? That you are worthwhile, and that we still accept you, even if you binge? Because we do. At the same time, it would help us to help you if we know what you have already tried that isn't working. Have you tried a conflict resolution podcast--like #4--or the conflict resolution guided journey? (Even if you've listened before. It's not a one-time thing, because the inner conflicts can shift.) Have you tried EFT? Even though I feel like bingeing (or I feel horrible that I have been bingeing all week), I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Have you tried renewing? What activities have you done this week to feed your spirit? Even little things, like paint your toenails if that makes you happy?? Have you tried gratitude? Being thankful that you have food to binge on? (Hi, Eldred...) Have you tried OA? You mentioned this as a possibility. Is the binge getting extra power behind it because you're afraid of what might happen if you go? Have you tried talking with your parents, as suggested? She said something about making use of them to deal with the loneliness. I wonder if it's the opposite--if the fact that you're living at home is keeping you trapped in past patterns? If so, you might want to listen to some of the podcasts on changing relationships. Have you tried telling yourself that you can binge all you want--as long as you enjoy it?? So you're not doing the chocolate syrup from a spoon thing, but sitting down with plate and fork to eat something really decadent and satisfying? Have you tried having water after every not-so-good food choice, so at least you know you're not mistaking thirst for hunger? Have you tried slipping in a carrot or tomato or even vitamin pill every now and then, to be sure that part of the binge isn't grazing for nutrients? I could actually make this list quite a bit longer--but I don't want to just keep throwing out ideas that you've already tried that don't work for you.... You are worth it, Avie. ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Thu, April 21, 2011 7:24:50 AM Subject: IOWL i think i'll just binge for the seventh day in a row.. that sound OK to everyone? great. Avie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2011 Report Share Posted April 22, 2011 Unami / Avie your thoughts made me think of a book I am reading right now. You and others on this group might like and get a lot from. " A New Earth " by Eckhart Tolle. There is also a 10 part series of study and conversation with Eckhart Tolle and Ohprah Winfrey on Itunes. I belive Reenea mentions his book " The Power of Now " in one of her pod casts. Hugs and Positive Thoughts from Constance    Subject: IOWL To: insideoutweightloss Date: Thursday, 21 April, 2011, 5:24  i think i'll just binge for the seventh day in a row.. that sound OK to everyone? great. Avie -- Avie Linden University of Michigan - Anthropology Program in the Environment, History of Art Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2011 Report Share Posted April 22, 2011 Constance, I loved the The Power of Now. It is so healthy when I practise presence and so much easier to take care of myself in that frame of mind but for some reason it is difficult to do it....I suppose that is why they call it a practise. Thanks for reminding me to practise. Hugs, Jen ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Fri, April 22, 2011 4:13:20 AM Subject: Re: IOWL  Unami / Avie your thoughts made me think of a book I am reading right now. You and others on this group might like and get a lot from. " A New Earth " by Eckhart Tolle. There is also a 10 part series of study and conversation with Eckhart Tolle and Ohprah Winfrey on Itunes. I belive Reenea mentions his book " The Power of Now " in one of her pod casts. Hugs and Positive Thoughts from Constance    Subject: IOWL To: insideoutweightloss Date: Thursday, 21 April, 2011, 5:24  i think i'll just binge for the seventh day in a row.. that sound OK to everyone? great. Avie -- Avie Linden University of Michigan - Anthropology Program in the Environment, History of Art Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 16, 2011 Report Share Posted May 16, 2011 thanks everyone. another binge for me last night! i think one of my last triggers (besides counting calories.. which can lead to compulsive eating) is eating at night when i really just need to go to BED!! on a REDO, last night i really would have just gone to bed, or not been too embarrassed to just eat the food i wanted to eat (ice cream) in front of my parents. complex, i know. Thanks, Avie > > > Avie, > The awesome part about IOWL is that you are expected to have slips and not > be perfect! I agree with Colleen...one week is HUGE! Having even one DAY is > awesome for me. If you go back to the binge, did you check to see if the > intensity was less than ones you've had before? did it last a shorter time? > It's easy to beat ourselves up about what we've done wrong, but look at it > from a mathematical stand point-- 7/8 =successful 1/8= not as successful. I > was an English major, but to me that still seems pretty awesome > > Another thing that has helped me so much is the concept talks about > in her podcasts about bringing yourself back to balance. If you realized you > had too much to eat, stopping then and there will help in the long run as > opposed to binging. All of those stops will all build up! > > love, > angela > > > > > > > Avie, > > > > Focus on the positive (a WHOLE week!) ... one slip (one binge) does not > define you - remember, you are the originator for any > > changes that you want to happen. > > > > > > don't think that you are stuck in a repetitive cycle where there is no > escape - our behaviors and choices are always ours to > > make and your past / present does not dictate the future. You can move > beyond old limits, > > make new choices, and take new actions. being aware is how you continue > to consciously evolve. > > > > you've done it, you can do it again - you have it in you, I know it! > > > >  > > > > ________________________________ > > > > > To: insideoutweightloss > > Sent: Saturday, May 14, 2011 2:22 PM > > Subject: IOWL > > > > > >  > > had a binge last night.. when i needed to just go to bed (though the > > calorie counting is still very triggering).. went a whole week without > > a binge which is the longest time in a while.. so that's good. > > > > upset because i was just starting to feel pretty good about myself > > > > thanks, > > Avie > > > > -- > > Avie Linden > > University of Michigan - Anthropology > > Program in the Environment, History of Art > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 I've made a habit recently of looking at overweight people in the street, asking myself : if this person weighed 2 kilos more, or 2 kilos less, would it make any difference to me ? The answer is always no. I look more at her face, the way she dresses, her smile, the ways she behaves with whoever is with her... This helped me realize that we're the only ones obsessed by our weight, this is not what the people around us see or are interested in. Did you notice that often, they don't even notice wh'en we've lost weight and feel so good, or put on weight and feel so bad ? They don't even see it ! so maybe we should feel the same about ourselves, like what there really is to like and dislike what there really is to dislike... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2011 Report Share Posted June 6, 2011 I like this! Â Â Livingston ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Sun, June 5, 2011 1:19:51 AM Subject: Re: IOWL Â I've made a habit recently of looking at overweight people in the street, asking myself : if this person weighed 2 kilos more, or 2 kilos less, would it make any difference to me ? The answer is always no. I look more at her face, the way she dresses, her smile, the ways she behaves with whoever is with her... This helped me realize that we're the only ones obsessed by our weight, this is not what the people around us see or are interested in. Did you notice that often, they don't even notice wh'en we've lost weight and feel so good, or put on weight and feel so bad ? They don't even see it ! so maybe we should feel the same about ourselves, like what there really is to like and dislike what there really is to dislike... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2011 Report Share Posted June 6, 2011 A college friend of mine said something very similar to me once. " The only one who cares about what size you wear is you. " Something I've learned this year is that people care a lot less how much I weigh than I always assumed they did. I'm not the biggest I've ever been, but I'm up there. Despite that, this year I've made some great new friends and gotten romantic attention from two really attractive men. I think presenting yourself well is far more important than your weight. ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Mon, June 6, 2011 7:53:52 PM Subject: Re: Re: IOWL I like this! Livingston ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Sun, June 5, 2011 1:19:51 AM Subject: Re: IOWL I've made a habit recently of looking at overweight people in the street, asking myself : if this person weighed 2 kilos more, or 2 kilos less, would it make any difference to me ? The answer is always no. I look more at her face, the way she dresses, her smile, the ways she behaves with whoever is with her... This helped me realize that we're the only ones obsessed by our weight, this is not what the people around us see or are interested in. Did you notice that often, they don't even notice wh'en we've lost weight and feel so good, or put on weight and feel so bad ? They don't even see it ! so maybe we should feel the same about ourselves, like what there really is to like and dislike what there really is to dislike... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2011 Report Share Posted June 7, 2011 I think how we feel about ourselves is communicated to the people around us. If we feel sexy and attractive we will be perceived as sexy and attractive. Unfortunately, few people live inside-out. They live outside-in. Their opinion of themselves fluctuates with the reactions or perceived reactions of those around them. But you are right no one cares what size you are. And, to take it a step further, when you are in a gym no one cares how much you lift or how fast you run. > > A college friend of mine said something very similar to me once. " The only one > who cares about what size you wear is you. " > > > Something I've learned this year is that people care a lot less how much I weigh > than I always assumed they did. I'm not the biggest I've ever been, but I'm up > there. Despite that, this year I've made some great new friends and gotten > romantic attention from two really attractive men. I think presenting yourself > well is far more important than your weight. > > > > > > ________________________________ > > To: insideoutweightloss > Sent: Mon, June 6, 2011 7:53:52 PM > Subject: Re: Re: IOWL > > > I like this! > Livingston > > ________________________________ > > To: insideoutweightloss > Sent: Sun, June 5, 2011 1:19:51 AM > Subject: Re: IOWL > > > > I've made a habit recently of looking at overweight people in the street, asking > > myself : if this person weighed 2 kilos more, or 2 kilos less, would it make any > > difference to me ? The answer is always no. I look more at her face, the way she > > dresses, her smile, the ways she behaves with whoever is with her... This helped > > me realize that we're the only ones obsessed by our weight, this is not what the > > people around us see or are interested in. Did you notice that often, they don't > > even notice wh'en we've lost weight and feel so good, or put on weight and feel > so bad ? They don't even see it ! so maybe we should feel the same about > ourselves, like what there really is to like and dislike what there really is to > > dislike... > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 , Thank you for this suggestion. It's similar to advice that I've heard before (probably from a podcast, maybe four!), but something about the way that you phrased it got to me a little deeper. Plus I know it helps to hear this again, since I'm still having trouble dealing with all the negative thoughts that invade my mind. Exploring those thoughts in this way should really help me get to know, accept, and care for myself. > > > Congratulations, A'mee. It's a really big first step--being able to > recognize > that negative self talk and replace it with something positive. > > Can I suggest a second step? Instead of telling that negative part of you > to > shut the hell up--instead of refusing to listen--sometimes it's worth > taking a > moment to see what that part of you is *really* trying to say. Assume > there's a > positive intent. Assume that this negative voice is not really trying to > make > you feel horrible about yourself. > > Maybe it's trying to protect you? Keep you from being laughed at, keep > *other* > people from making comments? > > Maybe there's a feeling of unworthiness underlying it--that you don't > deserve to > wear something that might catch someone's eye? > > Maybe there's a wish to help you improve--If it points out flaws, you can > work > to fix them? > > Podcast 4 might be a good place to start.... > > > > ________________________________ > > To: insideoutweightloss > Sent: Fri, June 3, 2011 6:08:33 PM > > Subject: Re: Re: IOWL > > Loving myself is not something that comes naturally. I do find that I am > making a more conscious effort now to shut up the nasty little voices that > want to make me feel bad. This morning as I was walking down a hallway I > saw a reflection of myself in the window. The first thought that came to my > head? " Good lord these pants make my ass look HUGE!! " And you know what? > I told myself to shut the hell up. I look fine. And my top is really cute. > > It was really difficult to do. And I actually had to do the mental > equivalent of sticking my fingers in my ears and going " Lalalalalala I'm > not > listening!! " when the voice tried to argue back. I was considering doing > it for real but people might have started to wonder. > > A'mee > > On Fri, Jun 3, 2011 at 7:17 AM, <rachel.laureene@... > >wrote: > > > > > > > Please, ramble away. You really struck a chord within me. There is no > > reason > > to not love ourselves. > > > > I guess that could be stated in the positive, too; there are countless > > reasons to love ourselves. > > > > That's something I'm still trying to do, and I look forward to the day > when > > it comes naturally. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 Hi , That's a really healthy mental exercise. It's definitely something that I need to practice. I would love to be able to shift my mindset toward other attributes, rather than just body-weight-fat-thin-bigger than me-smaller than me, etc... it makes me feel so shallow, but often I feel like those kinds of things are the loudest in my mind. When I really think about it though- for example, when I really picture my best friend- I see so much more. And there's so much more to me. To all of us. Thank you for the idea! I'm going to do some more thinking about this, and will really try to develop that kind of thinking into a habit. > > > > I've made a habit recently of looking at overweight people in the street, > asking myself : if this person weighed 2 kilos more, or 2 kilos less, would > it make any difference to me ? The answer is always no. I look more at her > face, the way she dresses, her smile, the ways she behaves with whoever is > with her... This helped me realize that we're the only ones obsessed by our > weight, this is not what the people around us see or are interested in. Did > you notice that often, they don't even notice wh'en we've lost weight and > feel so good, or put on weight and feel so bad ? They don't even see it ! so > maybe we should feel the same about ourselves, like what there really is to > like and dislike what there really is to dislike... > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 i just want to say that i havent been reading much of what is being posted lately.. i'm sorry about that, just feeling tired a lot of the time... and it's so many words and so many emails that i'm just not keeping up. wanting to share that i have a " date " with a cute boy today at one thirty.. it's no big deal, but i'm pretty proud thanks, Avie > > > thank you so much for the positive posts! I have been doing the same > thing this past year. When I go out, I make sure I'm dressed nicely. I've > bought clothes that actually fit well and I fix my hair and make up. I wear > my tennis skirt to tennis and instead of using my usual excuse that I > couldn't get to a ball because of my extra weight I now tell myself that's > it's all in my head and I'm fit and can get to any ball (that's the truth!!) > I've always had these running conversations in my head about what people > may be saying about me. For example, at tennis I think they may be saying > that i play great tennis and maybe if I lost some weight I could play even > better or at the gym they might be saying something like...I work out so > much and yet never lose weight so I must eat way too much or at the beach I > think people are looking at me...well you get the idea. > I have been working on this. Whenever these ideas pop into my head I say to > myself.. " I don't care what other people think " . I find that I am a lot more > comfortable around others when I can truly feel this and I can more easily > come out of my shell and participate in conversations and games and I can > laugh and reveal more of my true self. It's amazing too that people > do pick up on this and find that they are more open towards me when I am not > hiding behind the excuse of my extra weight. > > > To: insideoutweightloss > Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 8:04 PM > Subject: Re: Re: IOWL > > > Ted, > > That's a good point to remember. From a young age, when I was being > ridiculed in gym class for being a little bit bigger than other girls or > for > not being able to do a pull-up, to this day, I've always been very > self-conscious when working out in front of others. > > Really when you think about it though, we've got no real, solid, concrete > reason for this! It's all in our heads. We're so concerned about others > judging us, but are they really? We can assume that they are, based on past > experiences, or based on the judgements that we're passing on ourselves. > But > we can't read their minds. > > If we could, I bet we'd find that they were all just worried about what > everyone else was thinking of them. I'm pretty sure physically fit people > feel self-conscious, too. > > > > On Thu, Jun 9, 2011 at 11:59 AM, <rachel.laureene@... > >wrote: > > > Hi , > > > > I've had some experiences that have shown me the same thing. It's a > > refreshing, relieving epiphany, but I still find myself stuck so often in > > that state of worry over how fat I look. > > > > They say to act " as if, " though. So I've been trying to act as if my > weight > > isn't a big deal. I've been wearing pretty, feminine clothing that > flatters > > my shape. I've been working on my posture when I remember. I've been > working > > with what I've got, and although I could still cry sometimes when I > really > > look at my naked body, I feel a LOT more confident. And I think it shows! > > > > > > > > > > On Tue, Jun 7, 2011 at 12:05 AM, Soliman < > > sarahsimone_soliman@...> wrote: > > > >> > >> > >> A college friend of mine said something very similar to me once. " The > only > >> one > >> who cares about what size you wear is you. " > >> > >> Something I've learned this year is that people care a lot less how much > I > >> weigh > >> than I always assumed they did. I'm not the biggest I've ever been, but > >> I'm up > >> there. Despite that, this year I've made some great new friends and > gotten > >> > >> romantic attention from two really attractive men. I think presenting > >> yourself > >> well is far more important than your weight. > >> > >> ________________________________ > >> > >> > >> To: insideoutweightloss > >> Sent: Mon, June 6, 2011 7:53:52 PM > >> > >> Subject: Re: Re: IOWL > >> > >> I like this! > >> Livingston > >> > >> ________________________________ > >> > >> To: insideoutweightloss > >> Sent: Sun, June 5, 2011 1:19:51 AM > >> Subject: Re: IOWL > >> > >> I've made a habit recently of looking at overweight people in the > street, > >> asking > >> > >> myself : if this person weighed 2 kilos more, or 2 kilos less, would it > >> make any > >> > >> difference to me ? The answer is always no. I look more at her face, the > >> way she > >> > >> dresses, her smile, the ways she behaves with whoever is with her... > This > >> helped > >> > >> me realize that we're the only ones obsessed by our weight, this is not > >> what the > >> > >> people around us see or are interested in. Did you notice that often, > they > >> don't > >> > >> even notice wh'en we've lost weight and feel so good, or put on weight > and > >> feel > >> so bad ? They don't even see it ! so maybe we should feel the same about > >> ourselves, like what there really is to like and dislike what there > really > >> is to > >> > >> dislike... > >> > >> > >> > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Good for you Avie! Have fun on your date! Keep us updated! >________________________________ > >To: insideoutweightloss >Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:25 AM >Subject: Re: Re: IOWL > >i just want to say that i havent been reading much of what is being posted >lately.. i'm sorry about that, just feeling tired a lot of the time... and >it's so many words and so many emails that i'm just not keeping up. > >wanting to share that i have a " date " with a cute boy today at one thirty.. >it's no big deal, but i'm pretty proud > >thanks, >Avie > > > >> >> >> thank you so much for the positive posts! I have been doing the same >> thing this past year. When I go out, I make sure I'm dressed nicely. I've >> bought clothes that actually fit well and I fix my hair and make up. I wear >> my tennis skirt to tennis and instead of using my usual excuse that I >> couldn't get to a ball because of my extra weight I now tell myself that's >> it's all in my head and I'm fit and can get to any ball (that's the truth!!) >> I've always had these running conversations in my head about what people >> may be saying about me. For example, at tennis I think they may be saying >> that i play great tennis and maybe if I lost some weight I could play even >> better or at the gym they might be saying something like...I work out so >> much and yet never lose weight so I must eat way too much or at the beach I >> think people are looking at me...well you get the idea. >> I have been working on this. Whenever these ideas pop into my head I say to >> myself.. " I don't care what other people think " . I find that I am a lot more >> comfortable around others when I can truly feel this and I can more easily >> come out of my shell and participate in conversations and games and I can >> laugh and reveal more of my true self. It's amazing too that people >> do pick up on this and find that they are more open towards me when I am not >> hiding behind the excuse of my extra weight. >> >> >> To: insideoutweightloss >> Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 8:04 PM >> Subject: Re: Re: IOWL >> >> >> Ted, >> >> That's a good point to remember. From a young age, when I was being >> ridiculed in gym class for being a little bit bigger than other girls or >> for >> not being able to do a pull-up, to this day, I've always been very >> self-conscious when working out in front of others. >> >> Really when you think about it though, we've got no real, solid, concrete >> reason for this! It's all in our heads. We're so concerned about others >> judging us, but are they really? We can assume that they are, based on past >> experiences, or based on the judgements that we're passing on ourselves. >> But >> we can't read their minds. >> >> If we could, I bet we'd find that they were all just worried about what >> everyone else was thinking of them. I'm pretty sure physically fit people >> feel self-conscious, too. >> >> >> >> On Thu, Jun 9, 2011 at 11:59 AM, <rachel.laureene@... >> >wrote: >> >> > Hi , >> > >> > I've had some experiences that have shown me the same thing. It's a >> > refreshing, relieving epiphany, but I still find myself stuck so often in >> > that state of worry over how fat I look. >> > >> > They say to act " as if, " though. So I've been trying to act as if my >> weight >> > isn't a big deal. I've been wearing pretty, feminine clothing that >> flatters >> > my shape. I've been working on my posture when I remember. I've been >> working >> > with what I've got, and although I could still cry sometimes when I >> really >> > look at my naked body, I feel a LOT more confident. And I think it shows! >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > On Tue, Jun 7, 2011 at 12:05 AM, Soliman < >> > sarahsimone_soliman@...> wrote: >> > >> >> >> >> >> >> A college friend of mine said something very similar to me once. " The >> only >> >> one >> >> who cares about what size you wear is you. " >> >> >> >> Something I've learned this year is that people care a lot less how much >> I >> >> weigh >> >> than I always assumed they did. I'm not the biggest I've ever been, but >> >> I'm up >> >> there. Despite that, this year I've made some great new friends and >> gotten >> >> >> >> romantic attention from two really attractive men. I think presenting >> >> yourself >> >> well is far more important than your weight. >> >> >> >> ________________________________ >> >> >> >> >> >> To: insideoutweightloss >> >> Sent: Mon, June 6, 2011 7:53:52 PM >> >> >> >> Subject: Re: Re: IOWL >> >> >> >> I like this! >> >> Livingston >> >> >> >> ________________________________ >> >> >> >> To: insideoutweightloss >> >> Sent: Sun, June 5, 2011 1:19:51 AM >> >> Subject: Re: IOWL >> >> >> >> I've made a habit recently of looking at overweight people in the >> street, >> >> asking >> >> >> >> myself : if this person weighed 2 kilos more, or 2 kilos less, would it >> >> make any >> >> >> >> difference to me ? The answer is always no. I look more at her face, the >> >> way she >> >> >> >> dresses, her smile, the ways she behaves with whoever is with her... >> This >> >> helped >> >> >> >> me realize that we're the only ones obsessed by our weight, this is not >> >> what the >> >> >> >> people around us see or are interested in. Did you notice that often, >> they >> >> don't >> >> >> >> even notice wh'en we've lost weight and feel so good, or put on weight >> and >> >> feel >> >> so bad ? They don't even see it ! so maybe we should feel the same about >> >> ourselves, like what there really is to like and dislike what there >> really >> >> is to >> >> >> >> dislike... >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Yay for the date!! Hope all goes well:) Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry® Re: IOWL >> >> >> >> I've made a habit recently of looking at overweight people in the >> street, >> >> asking >> >> >> >> myself : if this person weighed 2 kilos more, or 2 kilos less, would it >> >> make any >> >> >> >> difference to me ? The answer is always no. I look more at her face, the >> >> way she >> >> >> >> dresses, her smile, the ways she behaves with whoever is with her... >> This >> >> helped >> >> >> >> me realize that we're the only ones obsessed by our weight, this is not >> >> what the >> >> >> >> people around us see or are interested in. Did you notice that often, >> they >> >> don't >> >> >> >> even notice wh'en we've lost weight and feel so good, or put on weight >> and >> >> feel >> >> so bad ? They don't even see it ! so maybe we should feel the same about >> >> ourselves, like what there really is to like and dislike what there >> really >> >> is to >> >> >> >> dislike... >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Avie, Just remember you are the lucky one. He is not doing you any favors. I hope that you have a fabulous time and enjoy yourself thoroughly! Livingston ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Fri, June 10, 2011 5:25:55 AM Subject: Re: Re: IOWL i just want to say that i havent been reading much of what is being posted lately.. i'm sorry about that, just feeling tired a lot of the time... and it's so many words and so many emails that i'm just not keeping up. wanting to share that i have a " date " with a cute boy today at one thirty.. it's no big deal, but i'm pretty proud thanks, Avie > > > thank you so much for the positive posts! I have been doing the same > thing this past year. When I go out, I make sure I'm dressed nicely. I've > bought clothes that actually fit well and I fix my hair and make up. I wear > my tennis skirt to tennis and instead of using my usual excuse that I > couldn't get to a ball because of my extra weight I now tell myself that's > it's all in my head and I'm fit and can get to any ball (that's the truth!!) > I've always had these running conversations in my head about what people > may be saying about me. For example, at tennis I think they may be saying > that i play great tennis and maybe if I lost some weight I could play even > better or at the gym they might be saying something like...I work out so > much and yet never lose weight so I must eat way too much or at the beach I > think people are looking at me...well you get the idea. > I have been working on this. Whenever these ideas pop into my head I say to > myself.. " I don't care what other people think " . I find that I am a lot more > comfortable around others when I can truly feel this and I can more easily > come out of my shell and participate in conversations and games and I can > laugh and reveal more of my true self. It's amazing too that people > do pick up on this and find that they are more open towards me when I am not > hiding behind the excuse of my extra weight. > > > To: insideoutweightloss > Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 8:04 PM > Subject: Re: Re: IOWL > > > Ted, > > That's a good point to remember. From a young age, when I was being > ridiculed in gym class for being a little bit bigger than other girls or > for > not being able to do a pull-up, to this day, I've always been very > self-conscious when working out in front of others. > > Really when you think about it though, we've got no real, solid, concrete > reason for this! It's all in our heads. We're so concerned about others > judging us, but are they really? We can assume that they are, based on past > experiences, or based on the judgements that we're passing on ourselves. > But > we can't read their minds. > > If we could, I bet we'd find that they were all just worried about what > everyone else was thinking of them. I'm pretty sure physically fit people > feel self-conscious, too. > > > > On Thu, Jun 9, 2011 at 11:59 AM, <rachel.laureene@... > >wrote: > > > Hi , > > > > I've had some experiences that have shown me the same thing. It's a > > refreshing, relieving epiphany, but I still find myself stuck so often in > > that state of worry over how fat I look. > > > > They say to act " as if, " though. So I've been trying to act as if my > weight > > isn't a big deal. I've been wearing pretty, feminine clothing that > flatters > > my shape. I've been working on my posture when I remember. I've been > working > > with what I've got, and although I could still cry sometimes when I > really > > look at my naked body, I feel a LOT more confident. And I think it shows! > > > > > > > > > > On Tue, Jun 7, 2011 at 12:05 AM, Soliman < > > sarahsimone_soliman@...> wrote: > > > >> > >> > >> A college friend of mine said something very similar to me once. " The > only > >> one > >> who cares about what size you wear is you. " > >> > >> Something I've learned this year is that people care a lot less how much > I > >> weigh > >> than I always assumed they did. I'm not the biggest I've ever been, but > >> I'm up > >> there. Despite that, this year I've made some great new friends and > gotten > >> > >> romantic attention from two really attractive men. I think presenting > >> yourself > >> well is far more important than your weight. > >> > >> ________________________________ > >> > >> > >> To: insideoutweightloss > >> Sent: Mon, June 6, 2011 7:53:52 PM > >> > >> Subject: Re: Re: IOWL > >> > >> I like this! > >> Livingston > >> > >> ________________________________ > >> > >> To: insideoutweightloss > >> Sent: Sun, June 5, 2011 1:19:51 AM > >> Subject: Re: IOWL > >> > >> I've made a habit recently of looking at overweight people in the > street, > >> asking > >> > >> myself : if this person weighed 2 kilos more, or 2 kilos less, would it > >> make any > >> > >> difference to me ? The answer is always no. I look more at her face, the > >> way she > >> > >> dresses, her smile, the ways she behaves with whoever is with her... > This > >> helped > >> > >> me realize that we're the only ones obsessed by our weight, this is not > >> what the > >> > >> people around us see or are interested in. Did you notice that often, > they > >> don't > >> > >> even notice wh'en we've lost weight and feel so good, or put on weight > and > >> feel > >> so bad ? They don't even see it ! so maybe we should feel the same about > >> ourselves, like what there really is to like and dislike what there > really > >> is to > >> > >> dislike... > >> > >> > >> > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Way to go Avie! Have fun!!! To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 2:25 PM Subject: Re: Re: IOWL i just want to say that i havent been reading much of what is being posted lately.. i'm sorry about that, just feeling tired a lot of the time... and it's so many words and so many emails that i'm just not keeping up. wanting to share that i have a " date " with a cute boy today at one thirty.. it's no big deal, but i'm pretty proud thanks, Avie > > > thank you so much for the positive posts! I have been doing the same > thing this past year. When I go out, I make sure I'm dressed nicely. I've > bought clothes that actually fit well and I fix my hair and make up. I wear > my tennis skirt to tennis and instead of using my usual excuse that I > couldn't get to a ball because of my extra weight I now tell myself that's > it's all in my head and I'm fit and can get to any ball (that's the truth!!) > I've always had these running conversations in my head about what people > may be saying about me. For example, at tennis I think they may be saying > that i play great tennis and maybe if I lost some weight I could play even > better or at the gym they might be saying something like...I work out so > much and yet never lose weight so I must eat way too much or at the beach I > think people are looking at me...well you get the idea. > I have been working on this. Whenever these ideas pop into my head I say to > myself.. " I don't care what other people think " . I find that I am a lot more > comfortable around others when I can truly feel this and I can more easily > come out of my shell and participate in conversations and games and I can > laugh and reveal more of my true self. It's amazing too that people > do pick up on this and find that they are more open towards me when I am not > hiding behind the excuse of my extra weight. > > > To: insideoutweightloss > Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 8:04 PM > Subject: Re: Re: IOWL > > > Ted, > > That's a good point to remember. From a young age, when I was being > ridiculed in gym class for being a little bit bigger than other girls or > for > not being able to do a pull-up, to this day, I've always been very > self-conscious when working out in front of others. > > Really when you think about it though, we've got no real, solid, concrete > reason for this! It's all in our heads. We're so concerned about others > judging us, but are they really? We can assume that they are, based on past > experiences, or based on the judgements that we're passing on ourselves. > But > we can't read their minds. > > If we could, I bet we'd find that they were all just worried about what > everyone else was thinking of them. I'm pretty sure physically fit people > feel self-conscious, too. > > > > On Thu, Jun 9, 2011 at 11:59 AM, <rachel.laureene@... > >wrote: > > > Hi , > > > > I've had some experiences that have shown me the same thing. It's a > > refreshing, relieving epiphany, but I still find myself stuck so often in > > that state of worry over how fat I look. > > > > They say to act " as if, " though. So I've been trying to act as if my > weight > > isn't a big deal. I've been wearing pretty, feminine clothing that > flatters > > my shape. I've been working on my posture when I remember. I've been > working > > with what I've got, and although I could still cry sometimes when I > really > > look at my naked body, I feel a LOT more confident. And I think it shows! > > > > > > > > > > On Tue, Jun 7, 2011 at 12:05 AM, Soliman < > > sarahsimone_soliman@...> wrote: > > > >> > >> > >> A college friend of mine said something very similar to me once. " The > only > >> one > >> who cares about what size you wear is you. " > >> > >> Something I've learned this year is that people care a lot less how much > I > >> weigh > >> than I always assumed they did. I'm not the biggest I've ever been, but > >> I'm up > >> there. Despite that, this year I've made some great new friends and > gotten > >> > >> romantic attention from two really attractive men. I think presenting > >> yourself > >> well is far more important than your weight. > >> > >> ________________________________ > >> > >> > >> To: insideoutweightloss > >> Sent: Mon, June 6, 2011 7:53:52 PM > >> > >> Subject: Re: Re: IOWL > >> > >> I like this! > >> Livingston > >> > >> ________________________________ > >> > >> To: insideoutweightloss > >> Sent: Sun, June 5, 2011 1:19:51 AM > >> Subject: Re: IOWL > >> > >> I've made a habit recently of looking at overweight people in the > street, > >> asking > >> > >> myself : if this person weighed 2 kilos more, or 2 kilos less, would it > >> make any > >> > >> difference to me ? The answer is always no. I look more at her face, the > >> way she > >> > >> dresses, her smile, the ways she behaves with whoever is with her... > This > >> helped > >> > >> me realize that we're the only ones obsessed by our weight, this is not > >> what the > >> > >> people around us see or are interested in. Did you notice that often, > they > >> don't > >> > >> even notice wh'en we've lost weight and feel so good, or put on weight > and > >> feel > >> so bad ? They don't even see it ! so maybe we should feel the same about > >> ourselves, like what there really is to like and dislike what there > really > >> is to > >> > >> dislike... > >> > >> > >> > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 you all are so nice! he cancelled tho thinks he has strep throat. i'll be sure let you know when more unfolds .. > > > Way to go Avie! > Have fun!!! > > > To: insideoutweightloss > Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 2:25 PM > Subject: Re: Re: IOWL > > i just want to say that i havent been reading much of what is being posted > lately.. i'm sorry about that, just feeling tired a lot of the time... and > it's so many words and so many emails that i'm just not keeping up. > > wanting to share that i have a " date " with a cute boy today at one thirty.. > it's no big deal, but i'm pretty proud > > thanks, > Avie > > > > > > > > > thank you so much for the positive posts! I have been doing the > same > > thing this past year. When I go out, I make sure I'm dressed nicely. I've > > bought clothes that actually fit well and I fix my hair and make up. I > wear > > my tennis skirt to tennis and instead of using my usual excuse that I > > couldn't get to a ball because of my extra weight I now tell myself > that's > > it's all in my head and I'm fit and can get to any ball (that's the > truth!!) > > I've always had these running conversations in my head about what people > > may be saying about me. For example, at tennis I think they may be saying > > that i play great tennis and maybe if I lost some weight I could play > even > > better or at the gym they might be saying something like...I work out so > > much and yet never lose weight so I must eat way too much or at the beach > I > > think people are looking at me...well you get the idea. > > I have been working on this. Whenever these ideas pop into my head I say > to > > myself.. " I don't care what other people think " . I find that I am a lot > more > > comfortable around others when I can truly feel this and I can more > easily > > come out of my shell and participate in conversations and games and I can > > laugh and reveal more of my true self. It's amazing too that > people > > do pick up on this and find that they are more open towards me when I am > not > > hiding behind the excuse of my extra weight. > > > > > > To: insideoutweightloss > > Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 8:04 PM > > Subject: Re: Re: IOWL > > > > > > Ted, > > > > That's a good point to remember. From a young age, when I was being > > ridiculed in gym class for being a little bit bigger than other girls or > > for > > not being able to do a pull-up, to this day, I've always been very > > self-conscious when working out in front of others. > > > > Really when you think about it though, we've got no real, solid, concrete > > reason for this! It's all in our heads. We're so concerned about others > > judging us, but are they really? We can assume that they are, based on > past > > experiences, or based on the judgements that we're passing on ourselves. > > But > > we can't read their minds. > > > > If we could, I bet we'd find that they were all just worried about what > > everyone else was thinking of them. I'm pretty sure physically fit people > > feel self-conscious, too. > > > > > > > > On Thu, Jun 9, 2011 at 11:59 AM, <rachel.laureene@... > > >wrote: > > > > > Hi , > > > > > > I've had some experiences that have shown me the same thing. It's a > > > refreshing, relieving epiphany, but I still find myself stuck so often > in > > > that state of worry over how fat I look. > > > > > > They say to act " as if, " though. So I've been trying to act as if my > > weight > > > isn't a big deal. I've been wearing pretty, feminine clothing that > > flatters > > > my shape. I've been working on my posture when I remember. I've been > > working > > > with what I've got, and although I could still cry sometimes when I > > really > > > look at my naked body, I feel a LOT more confident. And I think it > shows! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tue, Jun 7, 2011 at 12:05 AM, Soliman < > > > sarahsimone_soliman@...> wrote: > > > > > >> > > >> > > >> A college friend of mine said something very similar to me once. " The > > only > > >> one > > >> who cares about what size you wear is you. " > > >> > > >> Something I've learned this year is that people care a lot less how > much > > I > > >> weigh > > >> than I always assumed they did. I'm not the biggest I've ever been, > but > > >> I'm up > > >> there. Despite that, this year I've made some great new friends and > > gotten > > >> > > >> romantic attention from two really attractive men. I think presenting > > >> yourself > > >> well is far more important than your weight. > > >> > > >> ________________________________ > > >> > > >> > > >> To: insideoutweightloss > > >> Sent: Mon, June 6, 2011 7:53:52 PM > > >> > > >> Subject: Re: Re: IOWL > > >> > > >> I like this! > > >> Livingston > > >> > > >> ________________________________ > > >> > > >> To: insideoutweightloss > > >> Sent: Sun, June 5, 2011 1:19:51 AM > > >> Subject: Re: IOWL > > >> > > >> I've made a habit recently of looking at overweight people in the > > street, > > >> asking > > >> > > >> myself : if this person weighed 2 kilos more, or 2 kilos less, would > it > > >> make any > > >> > > >> difference to me ? The answer is always no. I look more at her face, > the > > >> way she > > >> > > >> dresses, her smile, the ways she behaves with whoever is with her... > > This > > >> helped > > >> > > >> me realize that we're the only ones obsessed by our weight, this is > not > > >> what the > > >> > > >> people around us see or are interested in. Did you notice that often, > > they > > >> don't > > >> > > >> even notice wh'en we've lost weight and feel so good, or put on weight > > and > > >> feel > > >> so bad ? They don't even see it ! so maybe we should feel the same > about > > >> ourselves, like what there really is to like and dislike what there > > really > > >> is to > > >> > > >> dislike... > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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