Re: Today's failed workout

[Guest guest]

Yuna,

When I first lost my dad it was like I was living in a dream world. It wasn't

real. It just took time..... I have never dreamed about my dad. Not once...

Happiness... I love happiness. I try in every way to make my day happy. I love

buying little presents for others, calling a friend, doing sth nice for someone,

listening to a favorite song, thinking of sth nice, cooking a favorite food,

talking to my kids, having a challenging work out, sharing a laugh,etc

However, I have found that when I overdo it and am tired that I feel 'down'. I

overeat, I don't feel like doing anything 'nice' , don't want to talk to anyone

and feel weepy. Mostly I've overdone it with tennis and the gym. I get to a

point where I just feel flat. Do you think that maybe you are overdoing it too?

Just an idea....

The thing is I love exercising. It gives me a boost and most days a natural high

so on the days when I just can't do any more it's a let down. I feel like my

body is letting me down. And I don't get my energy boost... I'm usually tired

anyway and end up feeling 'down'. It's sort of like a terrible cycle.

The thing is Yuna, after years of doing this I know when I'm headed for a crash

but still can't slow myself down!

Anyway, I wanted to share this with you thinking that it may help.

Hope you're feeling better!!

Hugs

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I didn't have a great workout today. The morning actually didn't start off

very well. I dreamt about my dad and at some point, I half-awake during the

night, crying. I managed to fall back asleep and even slept in until 6:30am,

which is pretty late for me! I still felt tired, but I wanted to workout this

morning as I rested yesterday.

>

> Earlier this week, I stepped on the scale and was down 3 pounds. Overnight.

The scale had stubbornly stayed up 3 pounds for a couple of weeks, then finally

moved. I am down 1/2 inch each in my chest, waist, hips, and thighs. I step on

the scale this morning, and the 3 pounds are back. Overnight. But my

measurements are the same. Weight loss isn't linear. I know that. The scale is

just feedback, and not even helpful or good feedback at that. I know that. Yet I

still use it. Why is it so hard to follow my own advice??

>

> So, my failed workout. The plan was to do a jump rope/strength workout. I

warmed up with a couple minutes of running, but things went downhill from there.

I felt sluggish, tired, and even working with weights that are normally easy for

me took a lot of effort. I did push-ups, and my wrist was sore afterwards (it's

fine now). After about 4-5 exercises, I called it quits and walked for 20

minutes.

>

> I have no idea why my body felt tired... I've been resting, eating well,

exercising, sleeping well. Nothing out of the ordinary, actually. There's

probably things going on in my body that I'm not aware of, which is why I

decided to stop and rest. You'd think that I'd feel good about listening to my

body for a change, but I don't. As I type this, I'm wishing that I had pushed

myself and done more.

>

> Sometimes I wonder why I'm on this journey. I mean, yes I am very glad that

over the last month, I've completely lost the desire to engage in starvation,

overexercising, or binging/purging. But I'm not actually any happier. Sure, I

was feeling happy the last couple of weeks (or maybe it as just a happiness-like

state?), but eventually I always return to my " baseline " of happiness... which

is non-happy. Not unhappy, although I do dip down there sometimes, but just

feeling flat.

>

> Which brings me to my belief about happiness. Is it limiting? I dunno. I guess

it depends on whether it's serving me or not. My belief is that being happy is

pointless. Why? Because when the happiness fades, which it eventually does

because no state or feeling lasts forever, then it makes the moments of

unhappiness all the more unpleasant. It's like weather. You'll feel the cold WAY

more if the temperature drops from 25C to -10C than from 0C to -10C. Happiness

is the same way.

>

> Sorry that I don't have anything positive to share. I'm feeling like crap

right now. I hope everybody is having a better weekend.

>

> With love,

> Yuna

>

>