Re: Journaling

[Guest guest]

Hi Sara-

I keep my journal and lists of stuff (like phone call logs) on my computer. I

have it set up to where I am the only one who knows my password. I feel

sufficiently safe....

but I know what you mean- when I was young, my nada found my journals and all

hell broke lose. She burned them all in the fireplace. Wish I had them now. I

have always had a passion for writing and art. When I finally escaped at age 16-

she sold all my art in a yard sale. I still have a recurring dream where I am

rummaging through a wonderful old antique store and come across a huge chest and

when I open it- all of my art is there. I scoop it out and sit on the floor and

thumb through it. I see them all clearly- this is how I dealt with that.

Thank goodness for this group!!!!

Good luck and take care,

Christy

journaling

I'm struggling with the idea of journaling. Journals were used

against me by my nada growing up. I didn't understand it then but I

thinkit meant she had real proof then that I was growing up and

growing away. It also revealed some of the " family secrets " that I

was not allowed to talk about. For years I would not send or keep

letters or cards to/from friends out of fear. Posting here has been

very helpful though in ways I never imagined. I occasionally will

send a card now too. My nada lives for trials and punishment and

loves to use the written word against others. She has been involved

with one or more law suits as long as I can remember for one reason

or another. My favorite looking back on it has to be hiring a lawyer

to sue a lawyer because he told her she was nuts and he didn't follow

her lead during the case. She is always " innocent victim against the

world, her own hero " . I have had my own personal feelings and

belongings used in her games when I was younger before I learned when

I could say no. I don't trust her in my home to not go through my

belongings even to this day. I'm thinking of maybe journaling daily

and burning it nightly. Has anyone else ever tried this or had the

difficulties with the written word that I have? I know the truth will

set you free and in my case it might give nada something to give her

lawyers to read too. I never can let my guard down. I just don't know

where the attack will come from or if someone I love will be the

target. I saw a post about some legal matters, is it common for

people struggling with bp to be heavily involved with fights

involving lawyers and courtrooms? Oh, to have her money. I can think

of some wonderful things to do with it to help the world. Funny, I

think she may think all her hostility is doing just that- saving the

world. -

To get off the list, send a blank message to

ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & amp; concerns to

ModOasis-owner . & quot;Stop Walking on Eggshells, & quot; a primer

for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of

contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

[Guest guest]

Hi Sara-

I keep my journal and lists of stuff (like phone call logs) on my computer. I

have it set up to where I am the only one who knows my password. I feel

sufficiently safe....

but I know what you mean- when I was young, my nada found my journals and all

hell broke lose. She burned them all in the fireplace. Wish I had them now. I

have always had a passion for writing and art. When I finally escaped at age 16-

she sold all my art in a yard sale. I still have a recurring dream where I am

rummaging through a wonderful old antique store and come across a huge chest and

when I open it- all of my art is there. I scoop it out and sit on the floor and

thumb through it. I see them all clearly- this is how I dealt with that.

Thank goodness for this group!!!!

Good luck and take care,

Christy

journaling

I'm struggling with the idea of journaling. Journals were used

against me by my nada growing up. I didn't understand it then but I

thinkit meant she had real proof then that I was growing up and

growing away. It also revealed some of the " family secrets " that I

was not allowed to talk about. For years I would not send or keep

letters or cards to/from friends out of fear. Posting here has been

very helpful though in ways I never imagined. I occasionally will

send a card now too. My nada lives for trials and punishment and

loves to use the written word against others. She has been involved

with one or more law suits as long as I can remember for one reason

or another. My favorite looking back on it has to be hiring a lawyer

to sue a lawyer because he told her she was nuts and he didn't follow

her lead during the case. She is always " innocent victim against the

world, her own hero " . I have had my own personal feelings and

belongings used in her games when I was younger before I learned when

I could say no. I don't trust her in my home to not go through my

belongings even to this day. I'm thinking of maybe journaling daily

and burning it nightly. Has anyone else ever tried this or had the

difficulties with the written word that I have? I know the truth will

set you free and in my case it might give nada something to give her

lawyers to read too. I never can let my guard down. I just don't know

where the attack will come from or if someone I love will be the

target. I saw a post about some legal matters, is it common for

people struggling with bp to be heavily involved with fights

involving lawyers and courtrooms? Oh, to have her money. I can think

of some wonderful things to do with it to help the world. Funny, I

think she may think all her hostility is doing just that- saving the

world. -

To get off the list, send a blank message to

ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & amp; concerns to

ModOasis-owner . & quot;Stop Walking on Eggshells, & quot; a primer

for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of

contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

[Guest guest]

Christy,

I feel for you! My own nada was pretty talented in her painting,

but apparently nobody else in the family (esp. us kids) were

" allowed " to have any talent ourselves. Of course, nada's history

of psych/emotional issues kept her from going anywhere with her

talent except against us. I'm still stuck in the stick figure level of

skill myself. (Another reason for me to be an accountant, it gives me

an excuse to not express creativity). LOL

Anyway, my own family has tremendous writing and drawing/painting

skills, and I'm incredibly happy that my wife and daughter seem to

be naturals. We've got many works around the house of all sorts of

things, and have hung some.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry the products of your talent

were squandered by your nada - it must be painful to not be able to

enjoy a lot of your own work. (Maybe some day your dream will come true).

I'd love to have the feeling of creative accomplishment myself,

it's just that I'm gloriously talent-free. Oh well, LOL.

Peace

Warren

In a message dated 2/13/03 11:27:32 AM Eastern Standard Time,

christy@... writes:

> Subj: Re: journaling

> Date: 2/13/03 11:27:32 AM Eastern Standard Time

> From: <A HREF= " mailto:christy@... " >christy@...</A>

> Reply-to: <A

HREF= " mailto:ModOasis " >ModOasis </A>

> To: <A HREF= " mailto:ModOasis " >ModOasis </A>

> Sent from the Internet

>

>

>

> Hi Sara-

> I keep my journal and lists of stuff (like phone call logs) on my computer.

> I have it set up to where I am the only one who knows my password. I feel

> sufficiently safe....

>

> but I know what you mean- when I was young, my nada found my journals and

> all hell broke lose. She burned them all in the fireplace. Wish I had them

> now. I have always had a passion for writing and art. When I finally

> escaped at age 16- she sold all my art in a yard sale. I still have a

> recurring dream where I am rummaging through a wonderful old antique store

> and come across a huge chest and when I open it- all of my art is there. I

> scoop it out and sit on the floor and thumb through it. I see them all

> clearly- this is how I dealt with that.

> Thank goodness for this group!!!!

> Good luck and take care,

> Christy

> journaling

>

>

> I'm struggling with the idea of journaling. Journals were used

> against me by my nada growing up. I didn't understand it then but I

> thinkit meant she had real proof then that I was growing up and

> growing away. It also revealed some of the " family secrets " that I

> was not allowed to talk about. For years I would not send or keep

> letters or cards to/from friends out of fear. Posting here has been

> very helpful though in ways I never imagined. I occasionally will

> send a card now too. My nada lives for trials and punishment and

> loves to use the written word against others. She has been involved

> with one or more law suits as long as I can remember for one reason

> or another. My favorite looking back on it has to be hiring a lawyer

> to sue a lawyer because he told her she was nuts and he didn't follow

> her lead during the case. She is always " innocent victim against the

> world, her own hero " . I have had my own personal feelings and

> belongings used in her games when I was younger before I learned when

> I could say no. I don't trust her in my home to not go through my

> belongings even to this day. I'm thinking of maybe journaling daily

> and burning it nightly. Has anyone else ever tried this or had the

> difficulties with the written word that I have? I know the truth will

> set you free and in my case it might give nada something to give her

> lawyers to read too. I never can let my guard down. I just don't know

> where the attack will come from or if someone I love will be the

> target. I saw a post about some legal matters, is it common for

> people struggling with bp to be heavily involved with fights

> involving lawyers and courtrooms? Oh, to have her money. I can think

> of some wonderful things to do with it to help the world. Funny, I

> think she may think all her hostility is doing just that- saving the

> world. -

>

>

> To get off the list, send a blank message to

> ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & amp; concerns to

> ModOasis-owner . & quot;Stop Walking on Eggshells, & quot; a

> primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For

> the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you , even though i have only just joined the group, I have

listened to over 60 episodes of the program and i must say reading your post

today made me realise that I have NEVER jounaled! and I think that is because I

enjoyed the podcast so much that i felt journaling would be such a distraction

but really i realise how important that is to the journey i am on, i life long

journey that i can't just rush through so thank you all and thank you

for the reminder!