Re: Re: What are you getting out of this?

[Guest guest]

When I start looking back this is about the age I always find myself at as

well. My parents often left us alone and I, as an 8 or 9 year old, was

responsible for my younger sister and brother. I have a 10 year old child

now myself and I simply cannot imagine how this could have seemed like a

good idea for my mother. When things went wrong, I was the one in trouble.

Because I was sometimes responsible from about 9 in the morning til about 3

in the afternoon, I was in charge of lunch too. There aren't that many

foods in an 8 year old's repertoire. I would try to make things better by

creating " menus " for my brother and sister and would pass them out so they

could choose what they wanted for lunch. My menus were works of art, even

if they only contained foods like cereal, sandwiches and, later, top ramen.

What was I trying to accomplish with these menus? Why did I put so much

work and effort into them?

Around this time was also when I started combing the pantries for foods that

I could stash in my room for later snacking. I wasn't terribly picky -- and

I would often go for canned foods that I could eat cold. You know what my

favorite was? Canned cream of mushroom soup. Yes, I ate it straight out of

the can, cold, with a spoon. Don't think I'm nuts, but to this day I still

like it. There's something about the salty/creamy combo with little chewy

mushroom chunks that I love. And I'm a bit of a connoissuer even. Generic

store brands and " healthy " versions just aren't the same as the red and

white can.

My blast from the past.

On Mon, Jun 6, 2011 at 11:19 AM, snowflake.driver

wrote:

>

>

>

> >

> > I'm wondering what y'all get out of overeating?

> >

> I'm new here so let me know if I'm threadjacking or not posting right.

>

> I have been trying to go back to the roots of my strange eating behaviors.

> Why did this start? I remember being about 5 or 6 years old and climbing up

> on the counters in the kitchen in search of something sweet to eat. I might

> find a bit of coconut, brown sugar or I could ever so gently try to get some

> frosting off the edge of a bundt cake. This was my first experience with

> unsweetened baking chocolate. Just as today I wasn't very discrimintory so

> it wasn't about the food itself.

>

> I try to think back and to this time and figure out why I was hungry and I

> don't have memories of getting lunch. Where the hell was my mother? I

> honestly can't remember her ever being home yet she was a stay at home mom.

> I could climb up on the counters looking for a snack and would never get in

> trouble because I could hear her giant noisy V8 GTO coming up the driveway.

> Early 70's.

>

> So my memory paints a picture of not having foods that appealed to me and

> not having someone there to feed me on a regular basis. (I go over this

> scenario of being left alone as a child in scenarios that are preverbal) So

> 6 or 7 is the first time I recall looking to food for comfort.

>

> I remember going to my friends homes and their mothers were home. They

> would bring us raisins and peanuts to snack on. Sometimes even twinkies or a

> coke. Their kitchens were clean and sparkling. The house I live in was

> filthy and the refrigerator was full of untouchable containers of leftovers

> that were too precious to be thrown out. Nobody ever came to my house for

> lunch or snacks. Yet I grew up in the wealthiest of households and my mother

> was constantly preoccupied with food preperation in the most bizarre way.

>

> When she came home in the late afternoon and started making dinner she

> would verbally abuse the oldest of my siblings...screaming at him about

> washing the breakfast dishes. It wasn't a safe place to be a kid who needed

> to eat. When Dad came home the abuse and crazy making stopped so dinner time

> was the one relief time when all us kids were safe.

>

> I overeat so I can feel what it is like to have a predictable mom who makes

> spagetti-o's for lunch. I overeat because it is predicatable, safe, as a kid

> it was alway a relief to have the screaming stop. It is the same way

> now...with the food creating a little oasis of saftey and stress from the

> day.

>

> But back to the orginal question about what I'm getting out of it. I like

> the idea that there is a half a carrot cake waiting at home for me.

>

>

>

--

Amelia Ramstead

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/amelia-ramstead/2b/25b/601

http://www.ameeramstead.com

http://ameliaramstead.blogspot.com

www.twitter.com/ameliaramstead

[Guest guest]

My sisters and I used to make menus, too. I think that besides the fact that it

just seemed fun at the time, we had the idea that eating out was THE best thing

to do..

I still have a bit of that. When I was a kid, the belief was centered around the

food--now it's more the fact that someone else is doing the cooking and

cleanup.... I don't know if " eating out is better " quite ranks as a limiting

belief, but I think I can work on nourishing (heh) the idea that " cooking at

home is Not That Hard " ....

BTW, I haven't had canned cream of mushroom soup in years, but as I read that, I

*immediately* knew what you meant about eating it that way.....

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Mon, June 6, 2011 11:19:41 PM

Subject: Re: Re: What are you getting out of this?

When I start looking back this is about the age I always find myself at as

well. My parents often left us alone and I, as an 8 or 9 year old, was

responsible for my younger sister and brother. I have a 10 year old child

now myself and I simply cannot imagine how this could have seemed like a

good idea for my mother. When things went wrong, I was the one in trouble.

Because I was sometimes responsible from about 9 in the morning til about 3

in the afternoon, I was in charge of lunch too. There aren't that many

foods in an 8 year old's repertoire. I would try to make things better by

creating " menus " for my brother and sister and would pass them out so they

could choose what they wanted for lunch. My menus were works of art, even

if they only contained foods like cereal, sandwiches and, later, top ramen.

What was I trying to accomplish with these menus? Why did I put so much

work and effort into them?

Around this time was also when I started combing the pantries for foods that

I could stash in my room for later snacking. I wasn't terribly picky -- and

I would often go for canned foods that I could eat cold. You know what my

favorite was? Canned cream of mushroom soup. Yes, I ate it straight out of

the can, cold, with a spoon. Don't think I'm nuts, but to this day I still

like it. There's something about the salty/creamy combo with little chewy

mushroom chunks that I love. And I'm a bit of a connoissuer even. Generic

store brands and " healthy " versions just aren't the same as the red and

white can.

My blast from the past.

[Guest guest]

I can relate to a lot of what you guys said. I used to love playing waitress

as a young girl. I'd serve my mom all kinds of plastic toy food. I had a

tray, napkins, cutlery, and yes, menus.

Eventually it got to the point where my mom would be lying in bed because

she was just so tired (although she didn't have a job, or any illness that

we knew of that caused fatigue- I guess I just assume it was due to her

weight, but who knows) and she'd ring her bell. I'd come, see what she

wanted (usually food or drink), go prepare and get it.... looking back it

all seems rather odd, but I just thought it was normal since that was what

I'd grown up becoming accustomed to.

It's been interesting, reflecting on these things. I guess I don't think

about it all that much anymore, which I suppose is healthy. When I really

think about the kind of childhood that I came from, lately I'm filled with

awe that I turned out as well as I did. Not that I'm perfect, by any means!

Just... I don't know, I guess I'm not as messed up as I would think I'd be.

I don't think I'm making sense anymore. Haha, I really should be in bed!

>

>

> My sisters and I used to make menus, too. I think that besides the fact

> that it

> just seemed fun at the time, we had the idea that eating out was THE best

> thing

> to do..

>

> I still have a bit of that. When I was a kid, the belief was centered

> around the

> food--now it's more the fact that someone else is doing the cooking and

> cleanup.... I don't know if " eating out is better " quite ranks as a

> limiting

> belief, but I think I can work on nourishing (heh) the idea that " cooking

> at

> home is Not That Hard " ....

>

> BTW, I haven't had canned cream of mushroom soup in years, but as I read

> that, I

> *immediately* knew what you meant about eating it that way.....

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: insideoutweightloss

> Sent: Mon, June 6, 2011 11:19:41 PM

> Subject: Re: Re: What are you getting out of this?

>

>

> When I start looking back this is about the age I always find myself at as

> well. My parents often left us alone and I, as an 8 or 9 year old, was

> responsible for my younger sister and brother. I have a 10 year old child

> now myself and I simply cannot imagine how this could have seemed like a

> good idea for my mother. When things went wrong, I was the one in trouble.

> Because I was sometimes responsible from about 9 in the morning til about 3

> in the afternoon, I was in charge of lunch too. There aren't that many

> foods in an 8 year old's repertoire. I would try to make things better by

> creating " menus " for my brother and sister and would pass them out so they

> could choose what they wanted for lunch. My menus were works of art, even

> if they only contained foods like cereal, sandwiches and, later, top ramen.

> What was I trying to accomplish with these menus? Why did I put so much

> work and effort into them?

>

> Around this time was also when I started combing the pantries for foods

> that

> I could stash in my room for later snacking. I wasn't terribly picky -- and

> I would often go for canned foods that I could eat cold. You know what my

> favorite was? Canned cream of mushroom soup. Yes, I ate it straight out of

> the can, cold, with a spoon. Don't think I'm nuts, but to this day I still

> like it. There's something about the salty/creamy combo with little chewy

> mushroom chunks that I love. And I'm a bit of a connoissuer even. Generic

> store brands and " healthy " versions just aren't the same as the red and

> white can.

>

> My blast from the past.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

It sounds to me like your mother probably suffered from depression. My

mother was bipolar. So am I. I'm pretty familiar with the whole " so

tired/fatigued you can't stand to get out of bed " thing.

Amelia

On Thu, Jun 9, 2011 at 10:19 AM, wrote:

>

>

> I can relate to a lot of what you guys said. I used to love playing

> waitress

> as a young girl. I'd serve my mom all kinds of plastic toy food. I had a

> tray, napkins, cutlery, and yes, menus.

>

> Eventually it got to the point where my mom would be lying in bed because

> she was just so tired (although she didn't have a job, or any illness that

> we knew of that caused fatigue- I guess I just assume it was due to her

> weight, but who knows) and she'd ring her bell. I'd come, see what she

> wanted (usually food or drink), go prepare and get it.... looking back it

> all seems rather odd, but I just thought it was normal since that was what

> I'd grown up becoming accustomed to.

>

> It's been interesting, reflecting on these things. I guess I don't think

> about it all that much anymore, which I suppose is healthy. When I really

> think about the kind of childhood that I came from, lately I'm filled with

> awe that I turned out as well as I did. Not that I'm perfect, by any means!

> Just... I don't know, I guess I'm not as messed up as I would think I'd be.

>

> I don't think I'm making sense anymore. Haha, I really should be in bed!

>

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> >

> > My sisters and I used to make menus, too. I think that besides the fact

> > that it

> > just seemed fun at the time, we had the idea that eating out was THE best

> > thing

> > to do..

> >

> > I still have a bit of that. When I was a kid, the belief was centered

> > around the

> > food--now it's more the fact that someone else is doing the cooking and

> > cleanup.... I don't know if " eating out is better " quite ranks as a

> > limiting

> > belief, but I think I can work on nourishing (heh) the idea that " cooking

> > at

> > home is Not That Hard " ....

> >

> > BTW, I haven't had canned cream of mushroom soup in years, but as I read

> > that, I

> > *immediately* knew what you meant about eating it that way.....

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> >

> > To: insideoutweightloss

> > Sent: Mon, June 6, 2011 11:19:41 PM

> > Subject: Re: Re: What are you getting out of this?

> >

> >

> > When I start looking back this is about the age I always find myself at

> as

> > well. My parents often left us alone and I, as an 8 or 9 year old, was

> > responsible for my younger sister and brother. I have a 10 year old child

> > now myself and I simply cannot imagine how this could have seemed like a

> > good idea for my mother. When things went wrong, I was the one in

> trouble.

> > Because I was sometimes responsible from about 9 in the morning til about

> 3

> > in the afternoon, I was in charge of lunch too. There aren't that many

> > foods in an 8 year old's repertoire. I would try to make things better by

> > creating " menus " for my brother and sister and would pass them out so

> they

> > could choose what they wanted for lunch. My menus were works of art, even

> > if they only contained foods like cereal, sandwiches and, later, top

> ramen.

> > What was I trying to accomplish with these menus? Why did I put so much

> > work and effort into them?

> >

> > Around this time was also when I started combing the pantries for foods

> > that

> > I could stash in my room for later snacking. I wasn't terribly picky --

> and

> > I would often go for canned foods that I could eat cold. You know what my

> > favorite was? Canned cream of mushroom soup. Yes, I ate it straight out

> of

> > the can, cold, with a spoon. Don't think I'm nuts, but to this day I

> still

> > like it. There's something about the salty/creamy combo with little chewy

> > mushroom chunks that I love. And I'm a bit of a connoissuer even. Generic

> > store brands and " healthy " versions just aren't the same as the red and

> > white can.

> >

> > My blast from the past.

> >

> >

> >