Re: Post-Marathon blues?

[Guest guest]

oh you are touching my heart with this train of thought ...

Maybe a part of it comes from how you were raised or the beliefs that were

instilled in you growing up (or at least it has for me) as I was taught to be

humble (and shame on you if you were prideful about a skill or ability that put

you above others).  things like not feeling worthy enough to have the things

you do (to be happy? to have a roof over your head), not feeling worthy of the

life you've been given (I don't deserve this husband / relationship, etc. - so

many others are better than I am at xyz) ... or that you're not perfect (in

size, in college degrees, in finances, etc.) - it's hard to be confident and

change that self-talk as it seems to feed upon itself & pull you further down in

it's own little spiral.  I work on these types of thoughts a lot (focusing on

the positive instead of the negatives, catching myself in thoughts that aren't

helping, etc.) and it gets easier with practice.

I think your physical issues (injury & allergy season) make it worse (you don't

feel well or on top of your game physically and mentally you are tired and not

feeling worthy - crap, you're not getting a break here!).  It's one of the

reasons I'm an emotional eater -- it's easier to take comfort from food (it

doesn't question or talk back) but in the long run, it makes me feel worse about

who I am (it makes me feel weak willed and like I'm not in control - so it truly

isn't a friend or a comfort giver for any time other than the 'party in the

mouth' or instant gratification)

I try to do something that I know I'm good at physically (for me it's working

out at the gym) or something that I can see an instant gratification from

(weeding a section of the garden, organizing a closet, scrubbing the kitchen

from top to bottom, etc.) where I'm busy, reading an uplifting book or listing

to music that I can't help but sing along with - anything to change my thought

pattern.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way and I think I understand (and probably most

of us do!) ...

 

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Thursday, June 23, 2011 8:13 AM

Subject: Post-Marathon blues?

 

Hello,

It's possible I have post-marathon blue, but I'm not sure.. I know I did

after my half.. but the marathon was a different beast to me. It was done

for a different reason (to raise money to find a cure for blood cancers)..

So the goal always felt a little detached from who I am as a person.. I

did it to honour the Hell my friend and her family went through in 2010. A

half-marathon would not have honoured that.

I have this deep sense that I don't measure up. I am intelligent yet I'm

lower level job. I am strong yet injured and fat. I know a lot about

food, yet am fat.

We're struggling for money. My dog needs a $5000 surgery and we can't

afford it. I need a new (to me) car.. again, no money.

The company I work for has endless possibilities.. if you have a degree..

This is the first time I have ever been held back because I don't have a

degree, but it's also a company with benefits you just don't find anymore.

Other people get degrees at night, etc.. but I seem to lack something to

get 'er done.

I'm feeling less than..

Also allergy season for me.. sinus issues, which make me feel like I have

been crying.. also not able to sleep..

Blah.

I usually don't do much to acknowledge that deep feeling I have.. but

it's always there and I guess this week it's at the surface.

Don't feel like running.. or anything that brings me joy right now.. sick

of being injured.. but not sure how to find the strength and flexibility

balance I lack.

(A ray of sunshine am I, eh?)

Corinna

[Guest guest]

>

> Hello,

>

> It's possible I have post-marathon blue, but I'm not sure.. I know I did

> after my half.. but the marathon was a different beast to me. It was done

> for a different reason (to raise money to find a cure for blood cancers)..

> So the goal always felt a little detached from who I am as a person.. I

> did it to honour the Hell my friend and her family went through in 2010. A

> half-marathon would not have honoured that.

>

You finished a marathon?!? That's more than MOST people can do - hold your head

high! And you did it for a good cause as well.

Eldred

[Guest guest]

Darlin,

So sad you are having a hard time of it.

There is no such think as perfect and you are only not measuring up if you are

trying to be  certain height.  It seems to me you are doing a lot of things

dang

good!!!  A marathon, wow!  Helping a friend, wow!  Caring for family and

friends

and working, wow!  Give yourself a bit a love you deserve it.

   Livingston

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Thu, June 23, 2011 10:13:47 AM

Subject: Post-Marathon blues?

 

Hello,

It's possible I have post-marathon blue, but I'm not sure.. I know I did

after my half.. but the marathon was a different beast to me. It was done

for a different reason (to raise money to find a cure for blood cancers)..

So the goal always felt a little detached from who I am as a person.. I

did it to honour the Hell my friend and her family went through in 2010. A

half-marathon would not have honoured that.

I have this deep sense that I don't measure up. I am intelligent yet I'm

lower level job. I am strong yet injured and fat. I know a lot about

food, yet am fat.

We're struggling for money. My dog needs a $5000 surgery and we can't

afford it. I need a new (to me) car.. again, no money.

The company I work for has endless possibilities.. if you have a degree..

This is the first time I have ever been held back because I don't have a

degree, but it's also a company with benefits you just don't find anymore.

Other people get degrees at night, etc.. but I seem to lack something to

get 'er done.

I'm feeling less than..

Also allergy season for me.. sinus issues, which make me feel like I have

been crying.. also not able to sleep..

Blah.

I usually don't do much to acknowledge that deep feeling I have.. but

it's always there and I guess this week it's at the surface.

Don't feel like running.. or anything that brings me joy right now.. sick

of being injured.. but not sure how to find the strength and flexibility

balance I lack.

(A ray of sunshine am I, eh?)

Corinna

[Guest guest]

Colleen - Wow! Thank you. I didn't have the pride thing shunned, but

there were other things.. I do know that I have some issues from my

childhood, but over the years, " the committee " have been hushed.. Thank

GOD! I had a slew of negative comments that influential people in my life

said to me that would pop up on a continuous loop tape in my brain much of

the time. It took work, but I got them to bugger off. It took a

therapist to tell me it didn't have to be there.. I just thought it was

normal.

I don't share too much when I'm really happy, so there may be something to

the idea of boasting.. Ha! A memory! YES! I was indeed told that WOMEN

should not boast.

I'm funny that way... I deny when people suggest things to me (I used to

be convinced I'm not an emotional eater.. BAHAHAHA!) but then the idea

sinks in and I process it... At least this didn't take me years.

My lack of pride over the marathon also has to do with how I didn't do

well with it... I am incredibly proud that I finished.. A marathon is

42.2K (not 300 miles!) and my IT Band decided to not work with me anymore

at around 15K.. We had a 5K hill but it was on a slanted highway, so the

camber killed me... anyway, if I were to judge myself as a runner from

that day, I wouldn't be impressed.. I am, however, impressed with my

tenacity and refusal to give up.. I was pulled off the course but found

someone to tape my knee and went back.

Eldred- Thanks! I know most people don't even like driving 42.2K. Hehehe

- thanks.

I'm in a better place today.. At least for today.. I wish my toenails

would just fall off so I can get on with life. Blech.

Corinna

[Guest guest]

> My lack of pride over the marathon also has to do with how I didn't do

> well with it... I am incredibly proud that I finished.. A marathon is

> 42.2K (not 300 miles!) and my IT Band decided to not work with me anymore

> at around 15K.. We had a 5K hill but it was on a slanted highway, so the

> camber killed me... anyway, if I were to judge myself as a runner from

> that day, I wouldn't be impressed..

One of the things on my bucket list is to complete a marathon. I really don't

care if I come in dead last. I just want to FINISH.

> Eldred- Thanks! I know most people don't even like driving 42.2K. Hehehe

>

:-)

Eldred

[Guest guest]

Hi Colleen,

I completely agree with you. I know I was quite down on myself yesterday, so

it'd be hard to imagine I meant something else. I have *some* marathoners tell

me I am a real runner now, etc etc.. But I felt like a runner when I wanted to

run. By my performance, where I walked much of my marathon.. I'm a hard core

chick, but... Someone who finishes.. But I didn't get to run it the way I

wanted to.. So I won't judge myself as a runner from that event. I have

plenty of others to go by.

I think it's AWESEOM you crossfit! Talk about hardcore!

C

>

> Corinna

>

> o.k. - at our gym (I go to a crossfit 'box') - everyone is called an athlete

... now given everything about me (out of shape, overweight & much older than the

rest of the 20 somethings that go there, yadda yadda yadda) - I told the trainer

that I just have  a hard time with that word as I think it applies to everyone

BUT me and his quote back was " it can be hard to imagine ourselves in the same

class of some of the other athletes in the gym.  But the

> bottom line is, we are all there doing the same movements and we are all in

there giving it our all, in workouts that make other 'Globo gym'

> routines look silly...so there is much more in common there than not.

>  That's why you are an athlete! " ... so I can take that same philosophy and

apply it to you and your amazing feat of a marathon!!

>

> you may not feel that you are both an elite athlete & marathoner right now but

all of us who look at you and know you completed it (it doesn't matter about the

time or the form or any of that!) are in AWE of you and see you as both an

athlete & marathoner because we can't even imagine attempting that feat! 

>

>

> I think some of the other feelings might go away when the 'pain' from the

event dulls a little over time (or when those toe nails fall off!!) -- it will

be easier to look at it from a bit of a distance and actually see that you did

darn good girl!!

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: insideoutweightloss

> Sent: Friday, June 24, 2011 6:46 AM

> Subject: Re: Post-Marathon blues?

>

>

>  

> Colleen - Wow! Thank you. I didn't have the pride thing shunned, but

> there were other things.. I do know that I have some issues from my

> childhood, but over the years, " the committee " have been hushed.. Thank

> GOD! I had a slew of negative comments that influential people in my life

> said to me that would pop up on a continuous loop tape in my brain much of

> the time. It took work, but I got them to bugger off. It took a

> therapist to tell me it didn't have to be there.. I just thought it was

> normal.

>

> I don't share too much when I'm really happy, so there may be something to

> the idea of boasting.. Ha! A memory! YES! I was indeed told that WOMEN

> should not boast.

>

> I'm funny that way... I deny when people suggest things to me (I used to

> be convinced I'm not an emotional eater.. BAHAHAHA!) but then the idea

> sinks in and I process it... At least this didn't take me years.

>

> My lack of pride over the marathon also has to do with how I didn't do

> well with it... I am incredibly proud that I finished.. A marathon is

> 42.2K (not 300 miles!) and my IT Band decided to not work with me anymore

> at around 15K.. We had a 5K hill but it was on a slanted highway, so the

> camber killed me... anyway, if I were to judge myself as a runner from

> that day, I wouldn't be impressed.. I am, however, impressed with my

> tenacity and refusal to give up.. I was pulled off the course but found

> someone to tape my knee and went back.

>

> Eldred- Thanks! I know most people don't even like driving 42.2K. Hehehe

>

> - thanks.

>

> I'm in a better place today.. At least for today.. I wish my toenails

> would just fall off so I can get on with life. Blech.

>

> Corinna

>

>

[Guest guest]

If you can ride 300 miles, you can run a marathon! (Body/injury willing)

300 is definitely more hard core!

> > My lack of pride over the marathon also has to do with how I didn't do

> > well with it... I am incredibly proud that I finished.. A marathon is

> > 42.2K (not 300 miles!) and my IT Band decided to not work with me anymore

> > at around 15K.. We had a 5K hill but it was on a slanted highway, so the

> > camber killed me... anyway, if I were to judge myself as a runner from

> > that day, I wouldn't be impressed..

>

> One of the things on my bucket list is to complete a marathon. I really don't

care if I come in dead last. I just want to FINISH.

>

> > Eldred- Thanks! I know most people don't even like driving 42.2K. Hehehe

> >

>

> :-)

>

> Eldred

>

[Guest guest]

>

>

>

> If you can ride 300 miles, you can run a marathon! (Body/injury willing)

>

You can't 'coast' during a marathon...<g>

Eldred