Story Time

[Guest guest]

I dedicate this e-mail to heal the part of me that over-eats so that it may be

loved and transformed into a part that drives me to paint, create, communicate,

and heal others. I dedicate the efforts of this e-mail to ending the weight

struggle on the planet for the awakening  and amplification of everyone's

abundant soul's gifts and specifically to my mother. 

Let me share a story with you. You're reading this for a reason. Feel free to

learn something from it, and heal the part of yourself you see in me, and we

both shall be liberated. 

I'm not hungry. There is no sensation in my stomach, in fact, when was the last

time I felt anything there? 

I see the dried mango slices on the counter. Then I remember eating them with

him. We were happy, so happy. I remember my laugh as I ate it in my memory. I

remember his whole face light up. 

I'm not laughing now. I'm not hungry now. 

It's been two weeks since I've seen his face light up like it did when we ate

those mango slices together. 

I eat more. I cannot stop.

" Wait! Kim! Remember self-correcting! What if you read your book instead? What

if you go for a walk? What if you call your sister? Hey you have some laundry to

do before yoga, let's do that? " says one part of me, it's voice varying from

sweet as a butter meanacing as my second grade teacher. 

I do not stop for anything. This is twice I feel I have lost something so

darling, so dear, so magical, and so wonderful that not a book, not yoga, not my

father's kind words can replace how much he was to me. Food, not just any food,

the food we shared together. Even if all during the day I've managed to block

him out, my tongue remembers the pleasure. 

.....

Now I sit and write these words, ancient hawaiian self-forgiveness I love you,

Great SpiritI am sorry and responsible for my actions, emotions and thoughts

that manifests over-eating. Pleasure forgive me for using food to emotionally

fill myself with love. 

I feel a lifting off my heart. I breathe. 

Thank you... I let it go and move on. 

Now the fun part! Let's imagine this happened instead! 

I see the dried mango on the counter. I think of him, I feel the weight in my

heart. I am curious about this weight in my heart. I imagine it to be like that

mango, it has been preserved in it's peak perfection and could remain forever

perfect just like the mango slice. I find a smile. I remember his smile, a smile

that lights up his beautiful blue eyes. His beautiful face. It is preserved in

my memory like this forever in it's peak perfection. I walk out of the kitchen,

feeling lighter than I did before. I feel a flutter of something wonderful in my

heart. All is well <3 

I other than wish for pity. Compassion is always welcome. Connection is always

cherished. I am thankful to have a voice to say the unthinkable here. To figure

out here. Any response will be met with prayers your way.

 Share story with me! I love a good story.