*sigh* Craving behaviour?

[Guest guest]

hello,

So I had been doing REALLY well. I had lost 20 lbs from Jan 1st.. then I

ran my marathon and I lost my focus. Actually, my lowest was about 2

weeks after my marathon, but still..

I'm not doing horribly now.. but I had gotten to the point where I wasn't

craving foods anymore.. I could easily talk myself down from any unhealthy

situation.. I was sleeping better and eating fantastically..

But I always seem to crave the behaviour... I wanted to want to overeat!

Slowly I gave in..

Today I am 10 lbs heavier than I was in the second week of June *urp*.

It's a learning experience.. I'm not happy about it and trying to regain

focus.

Isn't it " funny " how when you are doing it, it's so easy but when you're

not it seems impossible to get back there?

I am pleased to say that I did not eat sugar yesterday.. I was craving

cake donuts. The only reason I didn't eat it is because there weren't

any.. but I was in a store full of cravings, so I am taking it as a

victory.

I ran a 16K race last Sunday.. I felt sluggish and tired.. A HUGE

difference from May and June when I felt fantastic.. Also, I wore the

same race gear and you can see the 10 lbs in the race photos..

I have a 25K trail race on October 1st and a half-marathon on October 16.

I want to feel better, be stronger and look better!

Corinna

[Guest guest]

Corinna,

 

Do you " crave the behavior " because without it there is time/space that is empty

and you don't know how to fill it?  Sometimes this happens to me on the

weekends.  This past weekend as a matter of point.  I was thinking that I would

make a list of things I could do to fill the time/space and post it on the

fridge.  I thought maybe a mixture of activities.  Some fun things, some chore

things, and some new things.  I'll be glad to share my list if you think it

would help you.

 

Beverly

[Guest guest]

Who are you, Corinna?

 

What is your identity? Is part of you still hanging on to the identity of an

emotional eater, a binge eater? If that is your identity, those are the actions

you'll crave.

 

To me, your identity is that of a runner. Someone who can run TWENTY SIX

FLIPPIN' MILES at a time.

 

I also see you as someone who cares, deeply, about her friends. Someone who

cares so much that she can train for that marathon in memory of a friend who is

no longer around. I wonder if that caring aspect of you can turn the focus

inward, to do what it takes on the marathon journey towards creating an identity

that doesn't hinge on being the fat chick, the emotional eater, or whatever

parts of your identity you'd like to change?

 

When's the last time you listened to #3 or #33, with guided journeys for

identity?

 

I'm not a doctor, but I prescribe podcasts on the Net....

 

 

>To: insideoutweightloss

>Sent: Wednesday, August 31, 2011 9:35 PM

>Subject: *sigh* Craving behaviour?

>

>

> 

>hello,

>

>So I had been doing REALLY well. I had lost 20 lbs from Jan 1st.. then I

>ran my marathon and I lost my focus. Actually, my lowest was about 2

>weeks after my marathon, but still..

>

>I'm not doing horribly now.. but I had gotten to the point where I wasn't

>craving foods anymore.. I could easily talk myself down from any unhealthy

>situation.. I was sleeping better and eating fantastically..

>

>But I always seem to crave the behaviour... I wanted to want to overeat!

>

>Slowly I gave in..

>

>Today I am 10 lbs heavier than I was in the second week of June *urp*.

>It's a learning experience.. I'm not happy about it and trying to regain

>focus.

>

>Isn't it " funny " how when you are doing it, it's so easy but when you're

>not it seems impossible to get back there?

>

>I am pleased to say that I did not eat sugar yesterday.. I was craving

>cake donuts. The only reason I didn't eat it is because there weren't

>any.. but I was in a store full of cravings, so I am taking it as a

>victory.

>

>I ran a 16K race last Sunday.. I felt sluggish and tired.. A HUGE

>difference from May and June when I felt fantastic.. Also, I wore the

>same race gear and you can see the 10 lbs in the race photos..

>

>I have a 25K trail race on October 1st and a half-marathon on October 16.

>I want to feel better, be stronger and look better!

>

>Corinna

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Beverly - thanks. I don't want a list of chores! hehehehe.. But you

are right.. Getting a treat for myself to hide away and eat is something

I do. I don't eat treats at work because that is not something I do. Good

point! I need to replace it.

>Corinna,

>Do you " crave the behavior " because without it there is time/space that

is empty and you don't know how to fill it? Sometimes this happens to me

on the weekends. >This past weekend as a matter of point. I was thinking

that I would make a list of things I could do to fill the time/space and

post it on the fridge. I thought maybe a >mixture of activities. Some

fun things, some chore things, and some new things. I'll be glad to share

my list if you think it would help you.

>Beverly

- Wow! You made me teary eyed. My identity is a good question. I

haven't done many guided journeys as I listen at work. I wonder if I

don't like to be labeled because I haven't taken the time to do it myself?

I tell people I am like an onion (also like the Princess and the Pea..

that I am a delicate flower.. that what I lack in physical flexibility I

make up for with my personality...)

I am someone who cares very much about people. I even feel badly for

people who live in self-created bad worlds.. because they don't know they

are doing it, it'll be next to impossible for them to change their world

so they will always be unhappy.. (but I don't like to be friends with

people like that)

I am grateful that I can run and be active. I seek balance because sure!

I can run for 4 hours straight, but ask me to do something super-human

like get up off the floor without looking like I am stuck in a small box

and it's rough for me.

***note: we are going deep into Corinna's fears here.. not my regular

everyday thinking***

I am not a hippy woman... I don't have saddlebags.. I have strong,

beautiful legs (sure, thick.. because I have like 45 lbs to lose).. my

bad part is my stomach. I actually refer to it as my " ass in front " .. I

watched Mrs Doubtfire and when I saw Robbin in his fat suit I

thought.. " GAH!! It's like looking in a mirror!! " ..

So when I was down those 11 lbs, there was a spare tire gone off my

belly.. I have the big, lower tire and a small mid-belly roll.. Well..

it's back! I was so happy it was gone but it was only gone for a month.

WTF? I was also 3 lbs from not being obese... now I am 10 (I have lost 4

lbs).. I seem to stall around now.. like a barrier..

I think I am special because I am obese but incredibly fit. If I get

below obese, will I still be special?

If I am no longer obese, will I still be unloveable? Because really,

maybe I am and it's not just the fat people don't love.

If I am no longer obese, maybe I'm still " Willy Loman " in my career

because I am just not able to be successful.. I am smarter than most

other people yet I am where I am..

Hopefully people reading this realize that I don't come down on myself

24/7 like this. Life is too short! I like to be happy. I saw the

pictures from this weekend's race and had to stop and ask what I am afraid

of.. I do NOT like seeing the upper spare tire.. EVER.. so why am I

behaving in a way that inflates the tire?

I am on day 3 of almost no sugar. I will go to kickboxing tonight. I

started hot yoga in May and this week's yoga made me sore.. I am missing

balance!

Heh - I was going to say that I ran the half-marathon so much light than I

was on Sunday, but it was like 2 lbs.. so that really doesn't make a

difference.. It's gotta be where the weight was at the time. hehehe

I just listened to episode 51 where it is suggested to not listen to the

WHY question in your head anymore. I am doing too much of that. I like

to focus on the positive.

Gotta put it all together and wrap it up with a pretty bow so I can move

forward. Will listen to those podcasts - thanks!

C

>Who are you, Corinna?

>What is your identity? Is part of you still hanging on to the identity of

an emotional eater, a binge eater? If that is your identity, those are the

actions you'll crave.

>To me, your identity is that of a runner. Someone who can run TWENTY SIX

FLIPPIN' MILES at a time.

>I also see you as someone who cares, deeply, about her friends. Someone

who cares so much that she can train for that marathon in memory of a

friend who is no longer >around. I wonder if that caring aspect of you can

turn the focus inward, to do what it takes on the marathon journey towards

creating an identity that doesn't hinge on >being the fat chick, the

emotional eater, or whatever parts of your identity you'd like to change?

>When's the last time you listened to #3 or #33, with guided journeys for

identity?

>

>I'm not a doctor, but I prescribe podcasts on the Net....

[Guest guest]

Hi Corinna,

Hugs!! :-) I know exactly how you're feeling because I have not been at my best

this last month. I've eaten more " junk food " this last month than I've eaten all

year but the last few days I seem to be back in the groove. I know that what

works for me is setting small goals. For example, if I crave sugar today, I will

prefer fruit or yogurt with a bit of honey.

 

You sound a bit stressed out about your upcoming races... Are you? That could be

creating the need to eat...to relieve the stress or you say you are tired and

sluggish so maybe you're eating to supply your body with much needed

energy? Also, it's summer so are you drinking tons of water?

 

Sometimes when I've lined up too many tennis matches and gym dates with a

friend, or bicycling or other activities on top of work and everything else in

our day to day life, I find it stresses me out because 1) I don't have the

energy to do everything and 2) I start worrying that I won't be able to do

everything I have committed to or that I'll be too tired after my activites to

get on with my day to day life...I know I'll be sluggish and dragging

around...And if I start stressing out, many times I start sleeping badly and

then I start overeating or digging into the ice-cream.

 

I have found that it's a vicious cycle and I have to slow down. I did this same

thing last month because I still haven't learned. I was bicycling, jogging,

playing a lot of tennis, swimming and eating well. I was feeling great.

However, we also had some social events to attend, and there was work to do and

my daughter was off from university and visiting, and I was trying to do

everything and please everyone but also trying to be a super athlete and eat

well (which in itself takes some extra planning too!) and BAM!! The next thing I

know, I'm eating ice-cream every day for comfort.

 

So...I took this week off to just rest and funnily enough I ate very little and

was able to find some kind of balance again. I went shopping or to the beach

with my daughter, enjoyed my family, visited friends, worked in the garden but

no planned exercise and it felt great. I also let myself off the hook as far as

" dieting " goes and ate pretty much what I wanted which turned out to be a lot of

healthy food.

 

I hope that you've had a great day Corinna and you are finding some balance too.

 

I agree with that you are a very kind-hearted person who is always sharing

helpful tips and ideas with us and also offering lots of encouragement. Thanks a

lot for helping us out! Also, I am in awe of the distances you cover!! You are

incredible. I think I am doing a great job if I can jog for 40 minutes! 

 

Hugs...

 

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Thursday, September 1, 2011 10:16 AM

Subject: Re: *sigh* Craving behaviour?

 

Who are you, Corinna?

 

What is your identity? Is part of you still hanging on to the identity of an

emotional eater, a binge eater? If that is your identity, those are the actions

you'll crave.

 

To me, your identity is that of a runner. Someone who can run TWENTY SIX

FLIPPIN' MILES at a time.

 

I also see you as someone who cares, deeply, about her friends. Someone who

cares so much that she can train for that marathon in memory of a friend who is

no longer around. I wonder if that caring aspect of you can turn the focus

inward, to do what it takes on the marathon journey towards creating an identity

that doesn't hinge on being the fat chick, the emotional eater, or whatever

parts of your identity you'd like to change?

 

When's the last time you listened to #3 or #33, with guided journeys for

identity?

 

I'm not a doctor, but I prescribe podcasts on the Net....

 

 

>To: insideoutweightloss

>Sent: Wednesday, August 31, 2011 9:35 PM

>Subject: *sigh* Craving behaviour?

>

>

> 

>hello,

>

>So I had been doing REALLY well. I had lost 20 lbs from Jan 1st.. then I

>ran my marathon and I lost my focus. Actually, my lowest was about 2

>weeks after my marathon, but still..

>

>I'm not doing horribly now.. but I had gotten to the point where I wasn't

>craving foods anymore.. I could easily talk myself down from any unhealthy

>situation.. I was sleeping better and eating fantastically..

>

>But I always seem to crave the behaviour... I wanted to want to overeat!

>

>Slowly I gave in..

>

>Today I am 10 lbs heavier than I was in the second week of June *urp*.

>It's a learning experience.. I'm not happy about it and trying to regain

>focus.

>

>Isn't it " funny " how when you are doing it, it's so easy but when you're

>not it seems impossible to get back there?

>

>I am pleased to say that I did not eat sugar yesterday.. I was craving

>cake donuts. The only reason I didn't eat it is because there weren't

>any.. but I was in a store full of cravings, so I am taking it as a

>victory.

>

>I ran a 16K race last Sunday.. I felt sluggish and tired.. A HUGE

>difference from May and June when I felt fantastic.. Also, I wore the

>same race gear and you can see the 10 lbs in the race photos..

>

>I have a 25K trail race on October 1st and a half-marathon on October 16.

>I want to feel better, be stronger and look better!

>

>Corinna

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Corinna!

on the positive side, you recognized what you were doing and now you're

self-correcting. as hard as that is, it's a good way to start. don't be too hard

on yourself! we've all been there!

*hugs*

(Corinna's such a pretty name, btw, one of my faves!)

>

> hello,

>

>

> So I had been doing REALLY well. I had lost 20 lbs from Jan 1st.. then I

> ran my marathon and I lost my focus. Actually, my lowest was about 2

> weeks after my marathon, but still..

>

> I'm not doing horribly now.. but I had gotten to the point where I wasn't

> craving foods anymore.. I could easily talk myself down from any unhealthy

> situation.. I was sleeping better and eating fantastically..

>

> But I always seem to crave the behaviour... I wanted to want to overeat!

>

> Slowly I gave in..

>

> Today I am 10 lbs heavier than I was in the second week of June *urp*.

> It's a learning experience.. I'm not happy about it and trying to regain

> focus.

>

> Isn't it " funny " how when you are doing it, it's so easy but when you're

> not it seems impossible to get back there?

>

> I am pleased to say that I did not eat sugar yesterday.. I was craving

> cake donuts. The only reason I didn't eat it is because there weren't

> any.. but I was in a store full of cravings, so I am taking it as a

> victory.

>

> I ran a 16K race last Sunday.. I felt sluggish and tired.. A HUGE

> difference from May and June when I felt fantastic.. Also, I wore the

> same race gear and you can see the 10 lbs in the race photos..

>

> I have a 25K trail race on October 1st and a half-marathon on October 16.

> I want to feel better, be stronger and look better!

>

> Corinna

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, .. I haven't been wonderful with the self-correcting though..

just knowing..

I'm back to no sugar day 1.

I was listening to episode 51 about not asking WHY.. I was completely

doing that.. Why am I not further in life, why don't I have a better

marriage, why aren't I at peace with food and I was getting pretty down..

So I decided to live what Barney from How I Met Your Mother lives.. " When

I feel sad, I just stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story. "

=)