Guest guest Posted October 15, 2011 Report Share Posted October 15, 2011 Hi : I feel your pain. I had a difficult romantic situation end as well and I'm here to tell you, hang in IT GETS BETTER!! It sounds to me like you need to REALLY love and accept yourself. When you do (it just takes flipping that negative switch to positive whenever you are down) YOU WON'T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU. You'll go out on a date because you want to have fun and meet new people. Maybe it's too soon for you. You are going through A LOT of changes: new city, new roommates, trying to lose weight, make new friends, etc. EASE UP ON YOURSELF. Focus on feeling good, REALLY good and the rest will fall into place. Stay in the now. Enjoy your night in, watching tv and let that be the comfort you are looking for. One last SHOUT OUT to you. BIG HUGS, > Okay folks. I'm living in a new city and besides my roommates, I > only know a handful of people. My therapist recommended that I try > online dating both because I need to meet people and because I'm > coming out of a difficult romantic situation and in the words of the > therapist I 'need a confidence boost.' > > I was supposed to go for dinner with this guy tonight, but I ended > up canceling. Even though there's a photo of me on the dating site > and I did say that I'm a full figured gal, I'm still so nervous that > any dates I have will be disappointed with how I look. > > So it's a Saturday night in for me, catching up on the TV I've > missed this week. There are these chicken fingers that I want for > dinner and I keep thinking that if I could just eat them I'd feel so > much better. I know in actuality that if I continue eating > healthfully I'll feel better about my body and that will help with > the confidence issues. But in the meantime, I feel bad about myself > and I'm still having trouble finding something comforting that I can > use instead of food. > > Trying to lose weight, and being in a place where I don't have many > friends and not being able to be with the guy I want to be with - it > just feels like too much. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 16, 2011 Report Share Posted October 16, 2011 Hello (and ).. I agree with ...Find things that make you want to smile! Since you are in a new city how about getting out and exploring? Long walks always lift my spirits and keep the weight off too. What community classes are offered? Anything you'd especially like to do? Look into that...Photography, dancing, art? Look for something that guys would be interested in as well if you are looking to start dating again. Maybe being in for the night means you could watch your fav tv shows? Download a bunch of shows and watch them back to back....have a nice long bath....give yourself a facial...get a good night's sleep...put on some music that makes you feel truly happy. On the other hand, I have found that sometimes I need to feel the sorrow that's in me....have a good cry....get it out...and sometimes chicken fingers really do help as long as I don't overeat...have you got a friend you could call and maybe chat with from back home? In the long run though, I have discovered that the only way to keep myself out of blues land is accepting me... loving who I am. Keep listening to 's podcasts! They do help so much. Over the last two years I have evolved into a woman who loves who I am. I spent so much of my life unhappy with the person who was in my body and then over the last few years discovered that if I let the authentic me out there were a lot of people who liked me....liked me alot! :-) Sorry for rambling... What I'm trying to say is...only you can make you happy . Someone else can add to your happiness but first you have to be happy with yourself and enjoy most of all being with you. A big big hug and wishing you happiness from the bottom of my heart... To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 3:06 AM Subject: Re: Need a Pep Talk Hi : I feel your pain. I had a difficult romantic situation end as well and I'm here to tell you, hang in IT GETS BETTER!! It sounds to me like you need to REALLY love and accept yourself. When you do (it just takes flipping that negative switch to positive whenever you are down) YOU WON'T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU. You'll go out on a date because you want to have fun and meet new people. Maybe it's too soon for you. You are going through A LOT of changes: new city, new roommates, trying to lose weight, make new friends, etc. EASE UP ON YOURSELF. Focus on feeling good, REALLY good and the rest will fall into place. Stay in the now. Enjoy your night in, watching tv and let that be the comfort you are looking for. One last SHOUT OUT to you. BIG HUGS, > Okay folks. I'm living in a new city and besides my roommates, I > only know a handful of people. My therapist recommended that I try > online dating both because I need to meet people and because I'm > coming out of a difficult romantic situation and in the words of the > therapist I 'need a confidence boost.' > > I was supposed to go for dinner with this guy tonight, but I ended > up canceling. Even though there's a photo of me on the dating site > and I did say that I'm a full figured gal, I'm still so nervous that > any dates I have will be disappointed with how I look. > > So it's a Saturday night in for me, catching up on the TV I've > missed this week. There are these chicken fingers that I want for > dinner and I keep thinking that if I could just eat them I'd feel so > much better. I know in actuality that if I continue eating > healthfully I'll feel better about my body and that will help with > the confidence issues. But in the meantime, I feel bad about myself > and I'm still having trouble finding something comforting that I can > use instead of food. > > Trying to lose weight, and being in a place where I don't have many > friends and not being able to be with the guy I want to be with - it > just feels like too much. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 16, 2011 Report Share Posted October 16, 2011 I just want to jump on the wagon with & and pull you on top of the wagon to keep you from putting yourself under the wheels with those chicken fingers! I, myself, find it hard to put myself out there (and attract the right kind of guy for me) if I'm not feeling good about myself first ... I'd look for ways to get yourself out there that weren't exclusive to dating ... I've use the Meetup.com web site to find like minded people (guys & gals - all ages -- you never know when you make a new friend, if they happen to just know another who is perfect for you!) and have done a ton of stuff like hiking (so much more fun in groups!), a cooking group (paleo style!), a photography club (we'd meet different places & just shoot pictures) as well as an exercise class. I also think the idea about taking classes where you might met guys that would share the same interest would be perfect too - then there's no pressure to get to know them other than having fun I've also met some great folks volunteering on political campaigns and with a dog rescue group ... and my guy, I actually met through work friends when we all went to a baseball game together. so I would advocate doing things you enjoy or love or want to know more about, keep working on yourself (exercise classes - lots of guys in gyms, my crossfit gym is 2/3 guys 1/3 gals!) and finding ways to see yourself in a positive light  ________________________________ To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 2:01 AM Subject: Re: Need a Pep Talk  Hello (and )..  I agree with ...Find things that make you want to smile! Since you are in a new city how about getting out and exploring? Long walks always lift my spirits and keep the weight off too. What community classes are offered? Anything you'd especially like to do? Look into that...Photography, dancing, art? Look for something that guys would be interested in as well if you are looking to start dating again. Maybe being in for the night means you could watch your fav tv shows? Download a bunch of shows and watch them back to back....have a nice long bath....give yourself a facial...get a good night's sleep...put on some music that makes you feel truly happy. On the other hand, I have found that sometimes I need to feel the sorrow that's in me....have a good cry....get it out...and sometimes chicken fingers really do help as long as I don't overeat...have you got a friend you could call and maybe chat with from back home?  In the long run though, I have discovered that the only way to keep myself out of blues land is accepting me... loving who I am. Keep listening to 's podcasts! They do help so much. Over the last two years I have evolved into a woman who loves who I am. I spent so much of my life unhappy with the person who was in my body and then over the last few years discovered that if I let the authentic me out there were a lot of people who liked me....liked me alot! :-)  Sorry for rambling... What I'm trying to say is...only you can make you happy . Someone else can add to your happiness but first you have to be happy with yourself and enjoy most of all being with you.  A big big hug and wishing you happiness from the bottom of my heart...  To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 3:06 AM Subject: Re: Need a Pep Talk Hi : I feel your pain. I had a difficult romantic situation end as well and I'm here to tell you, hang in IT GETS BETTER!! It sounds to me like you need to REALLY love and accept yourself. When you do (it just takes flipping that negative switch to positive whenever you are down) YOU WON'T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU. You'll go out on a date because you want to have fun and meet new people. Maybe it's too soon for you. You are going through A LOT of changes: new city, new roommates, trying to lose weight, make new friends, etc. EASE UP ON YOURSELF. Focus on feeling good, REALLY good and the rest will fall into place. Stay in the now. Enjoy your night in, watching tv and let that be the comfort you are looking for. One last SHOUT OUT to you. BIG HUGS, > Okay folks. I'm living in a new city and besides my roommates, I > only know a handful of people. My therapist recommended that I try > online dating both because I need to meet people and because I'm > coming out of a difficult romantic situation and in the words of the > therapist I 'need a confidence boost.' > > I was supposed to go for dinner with this guy tonight, but I ended > up canceling. Even though there's a photo of me on the dating site > and I did say that I'm a full figured gal, I'm still so nervous that > any dates I have will be disappointed with how I look. > > So it's a Saturday night in for me, catching up on the TV I've > missed this week. There are these chicken fingers that I want for > dinner and I keep thinking that if I could just eat them I'd feel so > much better. I know in actuality that if I continue eating > healthfully I'll feel better about my body and that will help with > the confidence issues. But in the meantime, I feel bad about myself > and I'm still having trouble finding something comforting that I can > use instead of food. > > Trying to lose weight, and being in a place where I don't have many > friends and not being able to be with the guy I want to be with - it > just feels like too much. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 I just want to say thanks for all the advice and kind words from , Colleen and . I know that if I stick to the good eating habits and exercise routine I've been working on that I will start to feel better. In the meantime I'm trying to find ways to keep motivated and keep my head above water. Thanks again. ________________________________ To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Monday, October 17, 2011 3:03 AM Subject: Re: Need a Pep Talk  I just want to jump on the wagon with & and pull you on top of the wagon to keep you from putting yourself under the wheels with those chicken fingers! I, myself, find it hard to put myself out there (and attract the right kind of guy for me) if I'm not feeling good about myself first ... I'd look for ways to get yourself out there that weren't exclusive to dating ... I've use the Meetup.com web site to find like minded people (guys & gals - all ages -- you never know when you make a new friend, if they happen to just know another who is perfect for you!) and have done a ton of stuff like hiking (so much more fun in groups!), a cooking group (paleo style!), a photography club (we'd meet different places & just shoot pictures) as well as an exercise class. I also think the idea about taking classes where you might met guys that would share the same interest would be perfect too - then there's no pressure to get to know them other than having fun I've also met some great folks volunteering on political campaigns and with a dog rescue group ... and my guy, I actually met through work friends when we all went to a baseball game together. so I would advocate doing things you enjoy or love or want to know more about, keep working on yourself (exercise classes - lots of guys in gyms, my crossfit gym is 2/3 guys 1/3 gals!) and finding ways to see yourself in a positive light  ________________________________ To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 2:01 AM Subject: Re: Need a Pep Talk  Hello (and )..  I agree with ...Find things that make you want to smile! Since you are in a new city how about getting out and exploring? Long walks always lift my spirits and keep the weight off too. What community classes are offered? Anything you'd especially like to do? Look into that...Photography, dancing, art? Look for something that guys would be interested in as well if you are looking to start dating again. Maybe being in for the night means you could watch your fav tv shows? Download a bunch of shows and watch them back to back....have a nice long bath....give yourself a facial...get a good night's sleep...put on some music that makes you feel truly happy. On the other hand, I have found that sometimes I need to feel the sorrow that's in me....have a good cry....get it out...and sometimes chicken fingers really do help as long as I don't overeat...have you got a friend you could call and maybe chat with from back home?  In the long run though, I have discovered that the only way to keep myself out of blues land is accepting me... loving who I am. Keep listening to 's podcasts! They do help so much. Over the last two years I have evolved into a woman who loves who I am. I spent so much of my life unhappy with the person who was in my body and then over the last few years discovered that if I let the authentic me out there were a lot of people who liked me....liked me alot! :-)  Sorry for rambling... What I'm trying to say is...only you can make you happy . Someone else can add to your happiness but first you have to be happy with yourself and enjoy most of all being with you.  A big big hug and wishing you happiness from the bottom of my heart...  To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 3:06 AM Subject: Re: Need a Pep Talk Hi : I feel your pain. I had a difficult romantic situation end as well and I'm here to tell you, hang in IT GETS BETTER!! It sounds to me like you need to REALLY love and accept yourself. When you do (it just takes flipping that negative switch to positive whenever you are down) YOU WON'T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU. You'll go out on a date because you want to have fun and meet new people. Maybe it's too soon for you. You are going through A LOT of changes: new city, new roommates, trying to lose weight, make new friends, etc. EASE UP ON YOURSELF. Focus on feeling good, REALLY good and the rest will fall into place. Stay in the now. Enjoy your night in, watching tv and let that be the comfort you are looking for. One last SHOUT OUT to you. BIG HUGS, > Okay folks. I'm living in a new city and besides my roommates, I > only know a handful of people. My therapist recommended that I try > online dating both because I need to meet people and because I'm > coming out of a difficult romantic situation and in the words of the > therapist I 'need a confidence boost.' > > I was supposed to go for dinner with this guy tonight, but I ended > up canceling. Even though there's a photo of me on the dating site > and I did say that I'm a full figured gal, I'm still so nervous that > any dates I have will be disappointed with how I look. > > So it's a Saturday night in for me, catching up on the TV I've > missed this week. There are these chicken fingers that I want for > dinner and I keep thinking that if I could just eat them I'd feel so > much better. I know in actuality that if I continue eating > healthfully I'll feel better about my body and that will help with > the confidence issues. But in the meantime, I feel bad about myself > and I'm still having trouble finding something comforting that I can > use instead of food. > > Trying to lose weight, and being in a place where I don't have many > friends and not being able to be with the guy I want to be with - it > just feels like too much. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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