Focus on the Positive

May 12, 2011

Today's column was a good reminder that part of how I think & treat

myself is based on how I was traised / treated and how it's never too

late to change those patterns in yourself as well as those around you.

What is right vs. what is wrong!

Winner's Circle Network with Lou Tice - 5/12/11 - " Focus on the

Positive "

Positive thinking is certainly a powerful thing, but positive

expression is equally important. Many people, especially marriage

partners and parents of small children, seem to believe that the best

way to get somebody to change for the better is to consistently point

out to them what they are doing wrong.

These authority figures criticize, day in and day out. Eventually the

people they are talking to become frustrated and often start to feel

angry, because they see that nothing they say or do has any positive

effect, and sometimes things even get worse.

Has this ever happened to you? If so, there's a principle of cognitive

psychology that I teach in my seminars you'll want to know about. It's

simply this: We move toward and become like what we think about. And we

automatically behave in ways that match the image we have of our

capabilities and ourselves.

When you focus on what is going wrong, you tend to experience more of

the problem. And when you focus on the solution, you move toward it, as

surely as day follows night.

So instead of telling folks what they are doing wrong, why not tell

them what they are doing right? Instead of telling them what the

problem is, why not tell them what the solution looks like and how it

will benefit them personally?

And while you're at it, why not tell them how much you enjoy and

appreciate the thoughtful or bright or funny things they say and do.

Remember the behavior that you focus on and praise tends to be

repeated.

Lou Tice - The Pacific Institute - www.thepacificinstitute.com

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