Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 For you, Kim: Please. Feel free to SHINE. (I like the version on the CD better, but this is what I found while taking a break from a) work and mopping up the flooded bathroom. LOL!) >________________________________ > >To: insideoutweightloss >Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 7:44 AM >Subject: Sharing Heart > > >Â >When I first started this journey I was really embarrassed. I actually thought about creating a name to hide myself from being a part of struggling. But hiding is something I have been known to do.. hiding is... easier. Less complicated. Less confrontational. & my REAL name is own this board. The name that my parents and their parents surname. My e-mail is a nickname my first true love gave to me. That's real. I didn't even have my real name on my facebook. I dont do it. But here I am. Totally venerable. I gotta tell you, it's really moving me to tears. I've been emotional. And it feels good to feel this way. Raw. Real. It feels... unknown. > >I was in a sorority when I gained a lot of weight. I was totally ashamed. I didn't fit the mold anyways, but I looking back I was a total FOX ( & I am now, I just have... coverage) I was lean, long shiny hair, glowing tan skin, worked out regularly and got in balance. Also beat the shit out of myself mentally. Also ate shitty foods. Also thought my boyfriend only dated me because I was beautiful and didn't appreciate what else I had to offer. I drank a lot. My name is and I OWN this journey of mine. I take full responsibility for this weight, this coverage, this hiding. And I am choosing, right here right now, to SHINE. I AM strong, I AM brave, I AM worth it! > >And I weigh more now than I ever have in my life. My jeans are tighter. I'm in tears officially now... I see that I am beautiful. I know that I'm worth it. ANd I want to be thin and healthy so much... I'm praying just praying... The shame of continuing to fall, over and over.... I have so much faith in this program and what renee teachers... why... I'm still ashamed. Maybe no one will read this. or respond. or care... I know how to clear it but it still must be said or I may never transform. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Kim welcome! I have been listening to 's podcasts for almost two years now and honestly the one thing i have learned is to be authentic. To love myself and to let the world see me. It has truly been a revelation because slowly I have opened up, stopped hiding and I have had closer relationships over the last few years than I ever have. So let your beautiful foxy self shine through!!! It is a bit frightening at first but oh so liberating! Hugs, To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 12:09 PM Subject: Re: Sharing Heart  For you, Kim: Please. Feel free to SHINE. (I like the version on the CD better, but this is what I found while taking a break from a) work and mopping up the flooded bathroom. LOL!) >________________________________ > >To: insideoutweightloss >Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 7:44 AM >Subject: Sharing Heart > > > >When I first started this journey I was really embarrassed. I actually thought about creating a name to hide myself from being a part of struggling. But hiding is something I have been known to do.. hiding is... easier. Less complicated. Less confrontational. & my REAL name is own this board. The name that my parents and their parents surname. My e-mail is a nickname my first true love gave to me. That's real. I didn't even have my real name on my facebook. I dont do it. But here I am. Totally venerable. I gotta tell you, it's really moving me to tears. I've been emotional. And it feels good to feel this way. Raw. Real. It feels... unknown. > >I was in a sorority when I gained a lot of weight. I was totally ashamed. I didn't fit the mold anyways, but I looking back I was a total FOX ( & I am now, I just have... coverage) I was lean, long shiny hair, glowing tan skin, worked out regularly and got in balance. Also beat the shit out of myself mentally. Also ate shitty foods. Also thought my boyfriend only dated me because I was beautiful and didn't appreciate what else I had to offer. I drank a lot. My name is and I OWN this journey of mine. I take full responsibility for this weight, this coverage, this hiding. And I am choosing, right here right now, to SHINE. I AM strong, I AM brave, I AM worth it! > >And I weigh more now than I ever have in my life. My jeans are tighter. I'm in tears officially now... I see that I am beautiful. I know that I'm worth it. ANd I want to be thin and healthy so much... I'm praying just praying... The shame of continuing to fall, over and over.... I have so much faith in this program and what renee teachers... why... I'm still ashamed. Maybe no one will read this. or respond. or care... I know how to clear it but it still must be said or I may never transform. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 OK, having trouble motivating myself to work from home today. :-P Here's another, Kim. From my teenage daughter's collection (well, she liked it when she was 13) if you want something to complement the middle-aged folk-y stuff. :-) >________________________________ > >To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > >Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 12:09 PM >Subject: Re: Sharing Heart > > >Â >For you, Kim: > > >Please. Feel free to SHINE. > > > >(I like the version on the CD better, but this is what I found while taking a break from a) work and mopping up the flooded bathroom. LOL!) > >>________________________________ >> >>To: insideoutweightloss >>Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 7:44 AM >>Subject: Sharing Heart >> >> >>Â >>When I first started this journey I was really embarrassed. I actually thought about creating a name to hide myself from being a part of struggling. But hiding is something I have been known to do.. hiding is... easier. Less complicated. Less confrontational. & my REAL name is own this board. The name that my parents and their parents surname. My e-mail is a nickname my first true love gave to me. That's real. I didn't even have my real name on my facebook. I dont do it. But here I am. Totally venerable. I gotta tell you, it's really moving me to tears. I've been emotional. And it feels good to feel this way. Raw. Real. It feels... unknown. >> >>I was in a sorority when I gained a lot of weight. I was totally ashamed. I didn't fit the mold anyways, but I looking back I was a total FOX ( & I am now, I just have... coverage) I was lean, long shiny hair, glowing tan skin, worked out regularly and got in balance. Also beat the shit out of myself mentally. Also ate shitty foods. Also thought my boyfriend only dated me because I was beautiful and didn't appreciate what else I had to offer. I drank a lot. My name is and I OWN this journey of mine. I take full responsibility for this weight, this coverage, this hiding. And I am choosing, right here right now, to SHINE. I AM strong, I AM brave, I AM worth it! >> >>And I weigh more now than I ever have in my life. My jeans are tighter. I'm in tears officially now... I see that I am beautiful. I know that I'm worth it. ANd I want to be thin and healthy so much... I'm praying just praying... The shame of continuing to fall, over and over.... I have so much faith in this program and what renee teachers... why... I'm still ashamed. Maybe no one will read this. or respond. or care... I know how to clear it but it still must be said or I may never transform. >> >> >> >> >> > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Oh Kim, Welcome and thank you for including us on your journey. I know just where you are. In many ways, we aren't that different. Â Online, my name is Constance. In the SCA (medival group I go to) it's also Constance. My real name is Stacey. I am currently 365 lbs. I'm drop dead gorgeous and carry myself well, I dress myself well. But sometimes, it's hard for me to see my own worth when I look in a mirror. I'm working on it though! I used to have all the mirrors in my room covered up. Now I can actually look at myself. Â It is very good to get to know you. I know you'll do marvelous things for yourself and your health. We're all in this together! Â Love and support on the journey, Â Stacey Subject: Sharing Heart To: insideoutweightloss Received: Monday, October 31, 2011, 1:44 AM Â When I first started this journey I was really embarrassed. I actually thought about creating a name to hide myself from being a part of struggling. But hiding is something I have been known to do.. hiding is... easier. Less complicated. Less confrontational. & my REAL name is own this board. The name that my parents and their parents surname. My e-mail is a nickname my first true love gave to me. That's real. I didn't even have my real name on my facebook. I dont do it. But here I am. Totally venerable. I gotta tell you, it's really moving me to tears. I've been emotional. And it feels good to feel this way. Raw. Real. It feels... unknown. I was in a sorority when I gained a lot of weight. I was totally ashamed. I didn't fit the mold anyways, but I looking back I was a total FOX ( & I am now, I just have... coverage) I was lean, long shiny hair, glowing tan skin, worked out regularly and got in balance. Also beat the shit out of myself mentally. Also ate shitty foods. Also thought my boyfriend only dated me because I was beautiful and didn't appreciate what else I had to offer. I drank a lot. My name is and I OWN this journey of mine. I take full responsibility for this weight, this coverage, this hiding. And I am choosing, right here right now, to SHINE. I AM strong, I AM brave, I AM worth it! And I weigh more now than I ever have in my life. My jeans are tighter. I'm in tears officially now... I see that I am beautiful. I know that I'm worth it. ANd I want to be thin and healthy so much... I'm praying just praying... The shame of continuing to fall, over and over.... I have so much faith in this program and what renee teachers... why... I'm still ashamed. Maybe no one will read this. or respond. or care... I know how to clear it but it still must be said or I may never transform. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Kim Thank you for sharing your heart - you have touched mine. Your weight is only a tiny facet of what you are. It does not define you. While people do assess people by their looks, as you show, it is only a superficial assessment - some one may be beautiful because of their genes, but that doesn't make them more valuable than someone who drew a shorter straw in the looks department. It is how you judge yourself that matters. Please keep valuing yourself, as you are now. You won't be better as you slim down, you will still be the same lovely person, just slimmer. Stop struggling, love yourself and it will make losing weight easier and put it into context. love Viv x > > When I first started this journey I was really embarrassed. I actually thought about creating a name to hide myself from being a part of struggling. But hiding is something I have been known to do.. hiding is... easier. Less complicated. Less confrontational. & my REAL name is own this board. The name that my parents and their parents surname. My e-mail is a nickname my first true love gave to me. That's real. I didn't even have my real name on my facebook. I dont do it. But here I am. Totally venerable. I gotta tell you, it's really moving me to tears. I've been emotional. And it feels good to feel this way. Raw. Real. It feels... unknown. > > I was in a sorority when I gained a lot of weight. I was totally ashamed. I didn't fit the mold anyways, but I looking back I was a total FOX ( & I am now, I just have... coverage) I was lean, long shiny hair, glowing tan skin, worked out regularly and got in balance. Also beat the shit out of myself mentally. Also ate shitty foods. Also thought my boyfriend only dated me because I was beautiful and didn't appreciate what else I had to offer. I drank a lot. My name is and I OWN this journey of mine. I take full responsibility for this weight, this coverage, this hiding. And I am choosing, right here right now, to SHINE. I AM strong, I AM brave, I AM worth it! > > And I weigh more now than I ever have in my life. My jeans are tighter. I'm in tears officially now... I see that I am beautiful. I know that I'm worth it. ANd I want to be thin and healthy so much... I'm praying just praying... The shame of continuing to fall, over and over.... I have so much faith in this program and what renee teachers... why... I'm still ashamed. Maybe no one will read this. or respond. or care... I know how to clear it but it still must be said or I may never transform. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Thank you every one, truly, from my heart. Thank you for the music, thank you , I needed to hear that and I am beginning to experience that also. It's reckless and invoraging to speak my truth. Thank you Stacey for bringing your real self to the table. Viv, " You won't be better as you slim down, you will still be the same lovely person, just slimmer. " thank you. True <3 Maybe I keep sticking with this program because my heart really believes and desires not only to be slim and hot, it really wants that, it also wants to heal and learn from what got me here, to pick up gems and treasures and my soul wants me to bask in the glory of the gifts from this inward journey. & you know what? I'm already slim and hot. I'm a size 8, 20 years old, and I have a pretty great amount of energy. In the process of my spiritual growth, I've also won back my knowing of intrinsic value. So clearly, I'm here for something more...  This whole " target weight " number I run on myself is a little out-dated. Wasn't the reason i wanted to go on this journey to be thin, hot, and sexy so I can win the hearts of men and myself? Ha. Well, I'm there. Now. At the most I've ever weighed. I want to be naturally slender. I want to realllyyyy learn to listen to my body and respect it for what it needs. I want to give with my emotions, instead of stuff myself and hide. I want To Shine. I want to learn and MASTER the process of self-correcting and incorporating a balanced healthy life-style into my life. Then I am in a place of empowerment and can share that gift with other people. Woah. I've been afraid that " if I'm content in my weight that I'll become complacent. " Time to find a new empowering belief for that. How about " If I'm content with my weight, I'll find more and more inspiration for a healthy lifestyle. " mmmm yeah! We're gunna transform, not just lose. I'm ready. To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 6:47 AM Subject: Re: Sharing Heart  Kim welcome! I have been listening to 's podcasts for almost two years now and honestly the one thing i have learned is to be authentic. To love myself and to let the world see me. It has truly been a revelation because slowly I have opened up, stopped hiding and I have had closer relationships over the last few years than I ever have. So let your beautiful foxy self shine through!!! It is a bit frightening at first but oh so liberating! Hugs, To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 12:09 PM Subject: Re: Sharing Heart  For you, Kim: Please. Feel free to SHINE. (I like the version on the CD better, but this is what I found while taking a break from a) work and mopping up the flooded bathroom. LOL!) >________________________________ > >To: insideoutweightloss >Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 7:44 AM >Subject: Sharing Heart > > > >When I first started this journey I was really embarrassed. I actually thought about creating a name to hide myself from being a part of struggling. But hiding is something I have been known to do.. hiding is... easier. Less complicated. Less confrontational. & my REAL name is own this board. The name that my parents and their parents surname. My e-mail is a nickname my first true love gave to me. That's real. I didn't even have my real name on my facebook. I dont do it. But here I am. Totally venerable. I gotta tell you, it's really moving me to tears. I've been emotional. And it feels good to feel this way. Raw. Real. It feels... unknown. > >I was in a sorority when I gained a lot of weight. I was totally ashamed. I didn't fit the mold anyways, but I looking back I was a total FOX ( & I am now, I just have... coverage) I was lean, long shiny hair, glowing tan skin, worked out regularly and got in balance. Also beat the shit out of myself mentally. Also ate shitty foods. Also thought my boyfriend only dated me because I was beautiful and didn't appreciate what else I had to offer. I drank a lot. My name is and I OWN this journey of mine. I take full responsibility for this weight, this coverage, this hiding. And I am choosing, right here right now, to SHINE. I AM strong, I AM brave, I AM worth it! > >And I weigh more now than I ever have in my life. My jeans are tighter. I'm in tears officially now... I see that I am beautiful. I know that I'm worth it. ANd I want to be thin and healthy so much... I'm praying just praying... The shame of continuing to fall, over and over.... I have so much faith in this program and what renee teachers... why... I'm still ashamed. Maybe no one will read this. or respond. or care... I know how to clear it but it still must be said or I may never transform. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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