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,

 

I just had to respond....

 

According to everyone, I have always been skinny.  It has not made me healthier

or happier.  I regret that I have spent so much of my life dealing with

" eating issues " and terrible body image issues.  I can not tell you how many

events I ended up not going to because I felt too fat, no matter that I was

underweight, at times seriousy so -- it was not how I felt.  Now, at a BMI

that is too low I still struggle with feeling " fat " .  Obviously, that is

not what is going on for me.

 

 I wonder if your anger and regret might be about something else too?  Maybe

like me you regret not being able to love yourself and enjoy your body and food

like it appeared everyone else was.  Maybe it is anger at parents who could not

see what you needed....i would encourage yourself to go a bit deeper than your

weight.  

 

I also wonder if you might be able to look at what the gift of your extra weight

was.

 

Finally, I would hope that you would give yourself the gift of self love and

continue to do things for yourself that you love, like the hot yoga and not wait

to be happier and healthier until you are thinner.

 

 

Merry Christmas,

 

  Livingston

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 12:04 PM

Subject: Dealing With Anger

 

I think one of the biggest struggles I have with weight loss, emotionally

speaking, is coming to terms with a lot of anger and regret that I have. I spend

so much time imagining how my life could have been different as a teenager and

in my early 20s if I'd grown up skinny. I know what I want my life now to be

like, and how being thinner and healthier would make me happier, but I can't

seem to imagine how I will get past the anger and regret.

Growing up, my family always commented on my weight. They wanted to know why I

wasn't skinny, and yet nobody ever did anything to help me. My mom hates to

cook, and my dad, who is obsessed with my weight, was always overfeeding me. I

used to love taking dance classes and skating lessons and horseback riding

lessons, but my mom always ended up pulling me out of those activities. I know

that now I'm my own responsibility, and my mom is also overweight so how could I

expect her to know what to do for me when she couldn't properly care for

herself, but I'm still really angry. I'm only in my late 20s, which is obviously

still young, but I still feel like I've lost out on so much. I should use that

as motivation - I don't want to lose any more time. But sometimes I can't help

but get bogged down in all the negatives.

Just so I end on a better note, I signed up for introductory hot yoga classes

starting in January. I'm looking forward to sweating.

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, I was thinking along the same lines as . The only time I was

really " thin " was just a few years ago, and you know what? It was not enough to

bring happiness. 

My " bible " for a while was the book " Thin Tastes Better " by Gullo. Now,

I learned a lot from it. I learned about trigger situations, about foods that I

can eat in some settings but not in others. I learned a lot of good strategies

for losing weight. But at the end of the day, being thin brought its own set of

problems. It did not, in fact, " taste " better.

What I'm learning now is not how to be thin--it's how to be happy. And it's

working. I'm much happier now, on the border between healthy weight and

overweight, than I was 5-10 pounds down. I think the " happiness skills " I have

learned go deeper than the weight loss skills--so I'll be able to maintain my

happiness whether my weight goes down or up. 

I've also learned that " learning " isn't enough--I have to practice, too. I have

to make time for the dropping inside. I have to make time for activities that

renew. [Even if, shock horror, it's at the expense of time for exercise!! LOL!]

I've also realized rather recently how much of the past anger and resentment

I've managed to let go of. I am still learning how to let go of anxiety about

the future, but releasing the emotions from the past is like dropping a 50-lb

weight. But I didn't get here overnight--it was part of this whole process of

transforming from the inside out that I've been working on for 2+ years. 

Oy. I was planning on just saying I agreed with , and I ended up writing

a novel. And what I want to say really just boils down to this: Feel good now.

When you can start doing that, the weight of the past and the future--both

literal and figurative--just melt away.

>________________________________

>

>To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

>Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 10:01 PM

>Subject: Re: Dealing With Anger

>

>

> 

>,

> 

>I just had to respond....

> 

>According to everyone, I have always been skinny.  It has not made me

healthier or happier.  I regret that I have spent so much of my life

dealing with " eating issues " and terrible body image issues.  I can not tell

you how many events I ended up not going to because I felt too fat, no matter

that I was underweight, at times seriousy so -- it was not how I felt.  Now,

at a BMI that is too low I still struggle with feeling " fat " .  Obviously, that

is not what is going on for me.

> 

> I wonder if your anger and regret might be about something else too?  Maybe

like me you regret not being able to love yourself and enjoy your body and food

like it appeared everyone else was.  Maybe it is anger at parents who could not

see what you needed....i would encourage yourself to go a bit deeper than your

weight.  

> 

>I also wonder if you might be able to look at what the gift of your extra

weight was.

> 

>Finally, I would hope that you would give yourself the gift of self love and

continue to do things for yourself that you love, like the hot yoga and not wait

to be happier and healthier until you are thinner.

> 

> 

>Merry Christmas,

> 

>  Livingston

>

>________________________________

>

>To: insideoutweightloss

>Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 12:04 PM

>Subject: Dealing With Anger

>

> 

>I think one of the biggest struggles I have with weight loss, emotionally

speaking, is coming to terms with a lot of anger and regret that I have. I spend

so much time imagining how my life could have been different as a teenager and

in my early 20s if I'd grown up skinny. I know what I want my life now to be

like, and how being thinner and healthier would make me happier, but I can't

seem to imagine how I will get past the anger and regret.

>

>Growing up, my family always commented on my weight. They wanted to know why I

wasn't skinny, and yet nobody ever did anything to help me. My mom hates to

cook, and my dad, who is obsessed with my weight, was always overfeeding me. I

used to love taking dance classes and skating lessons and horseback riding

lessons, but my mom always ended up pulling me out of those activities. I know

that now I'm my own responsibility, and my mom is also overweight so how could I

expect her to know what to do for me when she couldn't properly care for

herself, but I'm still really angry. I'm only in my late 20s, which is obviously

still young, but I still feel like I've lost out on so much. I should use that

as motivation - I don't want to lose any more time. But sometimes I can't help

but get bogged down in all the negatives.

>

>Just so I end on a better note, I signed up for introductory hot yoga classes

starting in January. I'm looking forward to sweating.

>

>

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One more thing the teens and twenties are just learning tracks for the thirties

and forties. You haven't missed much, and it sounds like you are aiming to enjoy

the rest of yout life. Look around, there ar many heavy women out there happy to

meet each day. Other people enjoy being around them. Your weight is not what

it's in your way. You need to change your sense of where you belong in this

world, and what kind of relationships you want to have. Concentrate on how to

build relationships with the people around you that are constructive, and make

you happy. You will find that the other people involved are happier as well.

wrote:

>, I was thinking along the same lines as . The only time I was

really " thin " was just a few years ago, and you know what? It was not enough to

bring happiness. 

>

>My " bible " for a while was the book " Thin Tastes Better " by Gullo. Now,

I learned a lot from it. I learned about trigger situations, about foods that I

can eat in some settings but not in others. I learned a lot of good strategies

for losing weight. But at the end of the day, being thin brought its own set of

problems. It did not, in fact, " taste " better.

>

>What I'm learning now is not how to be thin--it's how to be happy. And it's

working. I'm much happier now, on the border between healthy weight and

overweight, than I was 5-10 pounds down. I think the " happiness skills " I have

learned go deeper than the weight loss skills--so I'll be able to maintain my

happiness whether my weight goes down or up. 

>

>I've also learned that " learning " isn't enough--I have to practice, too. I have

to make time for the dropping inside. I have to make time for activities that

renew. [Even if, shock horror, it's at the expense of time for exercise!! LOL!]

>

>I've also realized rather recently how much of the past anger and resentment

I've managed to let go of. I am still learning how to let go of anxiety about

the future, but releasing the emotions from the past is like dropping a 50-lb

weight. But I didn't get here overnight--it was part of this whole process of

transforming from the inside out that I've been working on for 2+ years. 

>

>Oy. I was planning on just saying I agreed with , and I ended up

writing a novel. And what I want to say really just boils down to this: Feel

good now. When you can start doing that, the weight of the past and the

future--both literal and figurative--just melt away.

>

>

>

>

>

>>________________________________

>>

>>To: " insideoutweightloss "

<insideoutweightloss >

>>Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 10:01 PM

>>Subject: Re: Dealing With Anger

>>

>>

>> 

>>,

>> 

>>I just had to respond....

>> 

>>According to everyone, I have always been skinny.  It has not made me

healthier or happier.  I regret that I have spent so much of my life

dealing with " eating issues " and terrible body image issues.  I can not tell

you how many events I ended up not going to because I felt too fat, no matter

that I was underweight, at times seriousy so -- it was not how I felt.  Now,

at a BMI that is too low I still struggle with feeling " fat " .  Obviously, that

is not what is going on for me.

>> 

>> I wonder if your anger and regret might be about something else too?  Maybe

like me you regret not being able to love yourself and enjoy your body and food

like it appeared everyone else was.  Maybe it is anger at parents who could not

see what you needed....i would encourage yourself to go a bit deeper than your

weight.  

>> 

>>I also wonder if you might be able to look at what the gift of your extra

weight was.

>> 

>>Finally, I would hope that you would give yourself the gift of self love and

continue to do things for yourself that you love, like the hot yoga and not wait

to be happier and healthier until you are thinner.

>> 

>> 

>>Merry Christmas,

>> 

>>  Livingston

>>

>>________________________________

>>

>>To: insideoutweightloss

>>Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 12:04 PM

>>Subject: Dealing With Anger

>>

>> 

>>I think one of the biggest struggles I have with weight loss, emotionally

speaking, is coming to terms with a lot of anger and regret that I have. I spend

so much time imagining how my life could have been different as a teenager and

in my early 20s if I'd grown up skinny. I know what I want my life now to be

like, and how being thinner and healthier would make me happier, but I can't

seem to imagine how I will get past the anger and regret.

>>

>>Growing up, my family always commented on my weight. They wanted to know why I

wasn't skinny, and yet nobody ever did anything to help me. My mom hates to

cook, and my dad, who is obsessed with my weight, was always overfeeding me. I

used to love taking dance classes and skating lessons and horseback riding

lessons, but my mom always ended up pulling me out of those activities. I know

that now I'm my own responsibility, and my mom is also overweight so how could I

expect her to know what to do for me when she couldn't properly care for

herself, but I'm still really angry. I'm only in my late 20s, which is obviously

still young, but I still feel like I've lost out on so much. I should use that

as motivation - I don't want to lose any more time. But sometimes I can't help

but get bogged down in all the negatives.

>>

>>Just so I end on a better note, I signed up for introductory hot yoga classes

starting in January. I'm looking forward to sweating.

>>

>>

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Share on other sites

>

> I think one of the biggest struggles I have with weight loss, emotionally

speaking, is coming to terms with a lot of anger and regret that I have. I spend

so much time imagining how my life could have been different as a teenager and

in my early 20s if I'd grown up skinny. I know what I want my life now to be

like, and how being thinner and healthier would make me happier, but I can't

seem to imagine how I will get past the anger and regret.

>

> Growing up, my family always commented on my weight. They wanted to know why I

wasn't skinny, and yet nobody ever did anything to help me. My mom hates to

cook, and my dad, who is obsessed with my weight, was always overfeeding me. I

used to love taking dance classes and skating lessons and horseback riding

lessons, but my mom always ended up pulling me out of those activities. I know

that now I'm my own responsibility, and my mom is also overweight so how could I

expect her to know what to do for me when she couldn't properly care for

herself, but I'm still really angry. I'm only in my late 20s, which is obviously

still young, but I still feel like I've lost out on so much. I should use that

as motivation - I don't want to lose any more time. But sometimes I can't help

but get bogged down in all the negatives.

>

> Just so I end on a better note, I signed up for introductory hot yoga classes

starting in January. I'm looking forward to sweating.

>

,

You've got only one decision to make!!! Are you going to live in the past?

A very wise old man once told me. " if you have one foot in yesterday and one

foot in tomorrow, you're pissing on today! " Please forgive his swearing.

Happiness is a decision!

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, sooo way cool!!!

>

> I'm new to this group but not new to this struggle. I lost 100+ pounds several

years ago that I credit in large part to resolving my anger issues. I began

keeping a gratitude journal, and the practice helped me reframe my life

perspective from one that kept track of hurts and injustices, to one that kept

track of kindnesses and mercies. I began to realize there were just as many

things to be grateful for as there were to forgive. It finally shifted my

internal perspective so " FORGIVENESS " stopped being such a huge, unrelenting

search in my life. That gratitude journaling finally removed the compulsion to

extract justice for all of the wounds delivered to my heart in an unfair life. I

was finally free.

>

> And I'm still free! And at peace, even when I suffer a slight or a setback -

because I still look for and find enough small joys to know that I'm blessed. I

just had to train myself to see them all. Counting 5 blessings before going to

sleep each night made a powerful change in my life and took the power out of

anger for me. Hope this mini testimonial is of some comfort to you.

>

>

>

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