Guest guest Posted December 20, 2011 Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 ,  I just had to respond....  According to everyone, I have always been skinny. It has not made me healthier or happier. I regret that I have spent so much of my life dealing with " eating issues " and terrible body image issues. I can not tell you how many events I ended up not going to because I felt too fat, no matter that I was underweight, at times seriousy so -- it was not how I felt.  Now, at a BMI that is too low I still struggle with feeling " fat " . Obviously, that is not what is going on for me.   I wonder if your anger and regret might be about something else too? Maybe like me you regret not being able to love yourself and enjoy your body and food like it appeared everyone else was. Maybe it is anger at parents who could not see what you needed....i would encourage yourself to go a bit deeper than your weight.   I also wonder if you might be able to look at what the gift of your extra weight was.  Finally, I would hope that you would give yourself the gift of self love and continue to do things for yourself that you love, like the hot yoga and not wait to be happier and healthier until you are thinner.   Merry Christmas,   Livingston ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 12:04 PM Subject: Dealing With Anger  I think one of the biggest struggles I have with weight loss, emotionally speaking, is coming to terms with a lot of anger and regret that I have. I spend so much time imagining how my life could have been different as a teenager and in my early 20s if I'd grown up skinny. I know what I want my life now to be like, and how being thinner and healthier would make me happier, but I can't seem to imagine how I will get past the anger and regret. Growing up, my family always commented on my weight. They wanted to know why I wasn't skinny, and yet nobody ever did anything to help me. My mom hates to cook, and my dad, who is obsessed with my weight, was always overfeeding me. I used to love taking dance classes and skating lessons and horseback riding lessons, but my mom always ended up pulling me out of those activities. I know that now I'm my own responsibility, and my mom is also overweight so how could I expect her to know what to do for me when she couldn't properly care for herself, but I'm still really angry. I'm only in my late 20s, which is obviously still young, but I still feel like I've lost out on so much. I should use that as motivation - I don't want to lose any more time. But sometimes I can't help but get bogged down in all the negatives. Just so I end on a better note, I signed up for introductory hot yoga classes starting in January. I'm looking forward to sweating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 , I was thinking along the same lines as . The only time I was really " thin " was just a few years ago, and you know what? It was not enough to bring happiness. My " bible " for a while was the book " Thin Tastes Better " by Gullo. Now, I learned a lot from it. I learned about trigger situations, about foods that I can eat in some settings but not in others. I learned a lot of good strategies for losing weight. But at the end of the day, being thin brought its own set of problems. It did not, in fact, " taste " better. What I'm learning now is not how to be thin--it's how to be happy. And it's working. I'm much happier now, on the border between healthy weight and overweight, than I was 5-10 pounds down. I think the " happiness skills " I have learned go deeper than the weight loss skills--so I'll be able to maintain my happiness whether my weight goes down or up. I've also learned that " learning " isn't enough--I have to practice, too. I have to make time for the dropping inside. I have to make time for activities that renew. [Even if, shock horror, it's at the expense of time for exercise!! LOL!] I've also realized rather recently how much of the past anger and resentment I've managed to let go of. I am still learning how to let go of anxiety about the future, but releasing the emotions from the past is like dropping a 50-lb weight. But I didn't get here overnight--it was part of this whole process of transforming from the inside out that I've been working on for 2+ years. Oy. I was planning on just saying I agreed with , and I ended up writing a novel. And what I want to say really just boils down to this: Feel good now. When you can start doing that, the weight of the past and the future--both literal and figurative--just melt away. >________________________________ > >To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > >Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 10:01 PM >Subject: Re: Dealing With Anger > > > >, > >I just had to respond.... > >According to everyone, I have always been skinny. It has not made me healthier or happier. I regret that I have spent so much of my life dealing with " eating issues " and terrible body image issues. I can not tell you how many events I ended up not going to because I felt too fat, no matter that I was underweight, at times seriousy so -- it was not how I felt.  Now, at a BMI that is too low I still struggle with feeling " fat " . Obviously, that is not what is going on for me. > > I wonder if your anger and regret might be about something else too? Maybe like me you regret not being able to love yourself and enjoy your body and food like it appeared everyone else was. Maybe it is anger at parents who could not see what you needed....i would encourage yourself to go a bit deeper than your weight.  > >I also wonder if you might be able to look at what the gift of your extra weight was. > >Finally, I would hope that you would give yourself the gift of self love and continue to do things for yourself that you love, like the hot yoga and not wait to be happier and healthier until you are thinner. > > >Merry Christmas, > > Livingston > >________________________________ > >To: insideoutweightloss >Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 12:04 PM >Subject: Dealing With Anger > > >I think one of the biggest struggles I have with weight loss, emotionally speaking, is coming to terms with a lot of anger and regret that I have. I spend so much time imagining how my life could have been different as a teenager and in my early 20s if I'd grown up skinny. I know what I want my life now to be like, and how being thinner and healthier would make me happier, but I can't seem to imagine how I will get past the anger and regret. > >Growing up, my family always commented on my weight. They wanted to know why I wasn't skinny, and yet nobody ever did anything to help me. My mom hates to cook, and my dad, who is obsessed with my weight, was always overfeeding me. I used to love taking dance classes and skating lessons and horseback riding lessons, but my mom always ended up pulling me out of those activities. I know that now I'm my own responsibility, and my mom is also overweight so how could I expect her to know what to do for me when she couldn't properly care for herself, but I'm still really angry. I'm only in my late 20s, which is obviously still young, but I still feel like I've lost out on so much. I should use that as motivation - I don't want to lose any more time. But sometimes I can't help but get bogged down in all the negatives. > >Just so I end on a better note, I signed up for introductory hot yoga classes starting in January. I'm looking forward to sweating. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 One more thing the teens and twenties are just learning tracks for the thirties and forties. You haven't missed much, and it sounds like you are aiming to enjoy the rest of yout life. Look around, there ar many heavy women out there happy to meet each day. Other people enjoy being around them. Your weight is not what it's in your way. You need to change your sense of where you belong in this world, and what kind of relationships you want to have. Concentrate on how to build relationships with the people around you that are constructive, and make you happy. You will find that the other people involved are happier as well. wrote: >, I was thinking along the same lines as . The only time I was really " thin " was just a few years ago, and you know what? It was not enough to bring happiness. > >My " bible " for a while was the book " Thin Tastes Better " by Gullo. Now, I learned a lot from it. I learned about trigger situations, about foods that I can eat in some settings but not in others. I learned a lot of good strategies for losing weight. But at the end of the day, being thin brought its own set of problems. It did not, in fact, " taste " better. > >What I'm learning now is not how to be thin--it's how to be happy. And it's working. I'm much happier now, on the border between healthy weight and overweight, than I was 5-10 pounds down. I think the " happiness skills " I have learned go deeper than the weight loss skills--so I'll be able to maintain my happiness whether my weight goes down or up. > >I've also learned that " learning " isn't enough--I have to practice, too. I have to make time for the dropping inside. I have to make time for activities that renew. [Even if, shock horror, it's at the expense of time for exercise!! LOL!] > >I've also realized rather recently how much of the past anger and resentment I've managed to let go of. I am still learning how to let go of anxiety about the future, but releasing the emotions from the past is like dropping a 50-lb weight. But I didn't get here overnight--it was part of this whole process of transforming from the inside out that I've been working on for 2+ years. > >Oy. I was planning on just saying I agreed with , and I ended up writing a novel. And what I want to say really just boils down to this: Feel good now. When you can start doing that, the weight of the past and the future--both literal and figurative--just melt away. > > > > > >>________________________________ >> >>To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > >>Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 10:01 PM >>Subject: Re: Dealing With Anger >> >> >> >>, >> >>I just had to respond.... >> >>According to everyone, I have always been skinny. It has not made me healthier or happier. I regret that I have spent so much of my life dealing with " eating issues " and terrible body image issues. I can not tell you how many events I ended up not going to because I felt too fat, no matter that I was underweight, at times seriousy so -- it was not how I felt.  Now, at a BMI that is too low I still struggle with feeling " fat " . Obviously, that is not what is going on for me. >> >> I wonder if your anger and regret might be about something else too? Maybe like me you regret not being able to love yourself and enjoy your body and food like it appeared everyone else was. Maybe it is anger at parents who could not see what you needed....i would encourage yourself to go a bit deeper than your weight.  >> >>I also wonder if you might be able to look at what the gift of your extra weight was. >> >>Finally, I would hope that you would give yourself the gift of self love and continue to do things for yourself that you love, like the hot yoga and not wait to be happier and healthier until you are thinner. >> >> >>Merry Christmas, >> >> Livingston >> >>________________________________ >> >>To: insideoutweightloss >>Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 12:04 PM >>Subject: Dealing With Anger >> >> >>I think one of the biggest struggles I have with weight loss, emotionally speaking, is coming to terms with a lot of anger and regret that I have. I spend so much time imagining how my life could have been different as a teenager and in my early 20s if I'd grown up skinny. I know what I want my life now to be like, and how being thinner and healthier would make me happier, but I can't seem to imagine how I will get past the anger and regret. >> >>Growing up, my family always commented on my weight. They wanted to know why I wasn't skinny, and yet nobody ever did anything to help me. My mom hates to cook, and my dad, who is obsessed with my weight, was always overfeeding me. I used to love taking dance classes and skating lessons and horseback riding lessons, but my mom always ended up pulling me out of those activities. I know that now I'm my own responsibility, and my mom is also overweight so how could I expect her to know what to do for me when she couldn't properly care for herself, but I'm still really angry. I'm only in my late 20s, which is obviously still young, but I still feel like I've lost out on so much. I should use that as motivation - I don't want to lose any more time. But sometimes I can't help but get bogged down in all the negatives. >> >>Just so I end on a better note, I signed up for introductory hot yoga classes starting in January. I'm looking forward to sweating. >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2011 Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 > > I think one of the biggest struggles I have with weight loss, emotionally speaking, is coming to terms with a lot of anger and regret that I have. I spend so much time imagining how my life could have been different as a teenager and in my early 20s if I'd grown up skinny. I know what I want my life now to be like, and how being thinner and healthier would make me happier, but I can't seem to imagine how I will get past the anger and regret. > > Growing up, my family always commented on my weight. They wanted to know why I wasn't skinny, and yet nobody ever did anything to help me. My mom hates to cook, and my dad, who is obsessed with my weight, was always overfeeding me. I used to love taking dance classes and skating lessons and horseback riding lessons, but my mom always ended up pulling me out of those activities. I know that now I'm my own responsibility, and my mom is also overweight so how could I expect her to know what to do for me when she couldn't properly care for herself, but I'm still really angry. I'm only in my late 20s, which is obviously still young, but I still feel like I've lost out on so much. I should use that as motivation - I don't want to lose any more time. But sometimes I can't help but get bogged down in all the negatives. > > Just so I end on a better note, I signed up for introductory hot yoga classes starting in January. I'm looking forward to sweating. > , You've got only one decision to make!!! Are you going to live in the past? A very wise old man once told me. " if you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you're pissing on today! " Please forgive his swearing. Happiness is a decision! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 , sooo way cool!!! > > I'm new to this group but not new to this struggle. I lost 100+ pounds several years ago that I credit in large part to resolving my anger issues. I began keeping a gratitude journal, and the practice helped me reframe my life perspective from one that kept track of hurts and injustices, to one that kept track of kindnesses and mercies. I began to realize there were just as many things to be grateful for as there were to forgive. It finally shifted my internal perspective so " FORGIVENESS " stopped being such a huge, unrelenting search in my life. That gratitude journaling finally removed the compulsion to extract justice for all of the wounds delivered to my heart in an unfair life. I was finally free. > > And I'm still free! And at peace, even when I suffer a slight or a setback - because I still look for and find enough small joys to know that I'm blessed. I just had to train myself to see them all. Counting 5 blessings before going to sleep each night made a powerful change in my life and took the power out of anger for me. Hope this mini testimonial is of some comfort to you. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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