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Dealing With Anger

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I think one of the biggest struggles I have with weight loss, emotionally

speaking, is coming to terms with a lot of anger and regret that I have. I spend

so much time imagining how my life could have been different as a teenager and

in my early 20s if I'd grown up skinny. I know what I want my life now to be

like, and how being thinner and healthier would make me happier, but I can't

seem to imagine how I will get past the anger and regret.

Growing up, my family always commented on my weight. They wanted to know why I

wasn't skinny, and yet nobody ever did anything to help me. My mom hates to

cook, and my dad, who is obsessed with my weight, was always overfeeding me. I

used to love taking dance classes and skating lessons and horseback riding

lessons, but my mom always ended up pulling me out of those activities. I know

that now I'm my own responsibility, and my mom is also overweight so how could I

expect her to know what to do for me when she couldn't properly care for

herself, but I'm still really angry. I'm only in my late 20s, which is obviously

still young, but I still feel like I've lost out on so much. I should use that

as motivation - I don't want to lose any more time. But sometimes I can't help

but get bogged down in all the negatives.

Just so I end on a better note, I signed up for introductory hot yoga classes

starting in January. I'm looking forward to sweating.

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