Re: FF Week 2

[Guest guest]

I can't remember which podcasts address this, but I know they are there. I

suggest trying to put yourself into a meditative state. Focus on what you

are feeling like when you choose to overeat. Why? Just keep asking " why "

like an annoying 3-year-old. You might surprise yourself. It might take a

little time, but find somewhere quiet where you won't be interrupted.

On Thu, Jan 12, 2012 at 11:45 AM, muttimarcia@... <

muttimarcia@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my

> objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's

> and met an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I

> remember thinking, " That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. "

> Boy, have I let myself down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every

> time I see myself in a mirror or get winded from simple tasks, or have to

> pass on an event because I don't have anything decent to wear and refuse to

> buy nice clothes in my huge size, I say to myself, " How did you let this

> happen? " I read health magazines, books, online articles all the time. I am

> an expert in healthy happy living—but I can't seem to get myself to use

> what I know.

> I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this

> week is a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply

> to me. I have no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that

> it is absolutely true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really

> wanted to be slim and healthy, you would be. "

> I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim,

> but I can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know!

> In the meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them

> address this issue.

>

>

>

--

Amelia Ramstead

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/amelia-ramstead/2b/25b/601

http://www.ameeramstead.com

http://ameliaramstead.blogspot.com

www.twitter.com/ameliaramstead

[Guest guest]

muttimarcia, the podcasts will definitely help. I highly recommend them. In

fact, one could say they are essential.

I don't remember which podcast it is, but told the story of a symposium of

diet doctors who met to discuss ending the obesity epidemic. They all agreed

that education was the key to helping humans (Americans?) get permanently thin

and fit.  A visiting physician from another country (think it was France),

after having had a good look around the room, finally stood up and said, " If

education is the key, and we can all safely assume that we doctors are among the

most highly-educated people on the planet, then why are more than 2/3 of YOU

overweight? "

Love that. If anyone remembers the episode number, please let muttimarcia know.

Keep plugging away. Listen to podcasts, talk to us here, and write about it. The

answer is in you. 

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Thursday, January 12, 2012 2:45 PM

Subject: FF Week 2

 

I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my

objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's and met

an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I remember thinking,

" That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " Boy, have I let myself

down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every time I see myself in a mirror

or get winded from simple tasks, or have to pass on an event because I don't

have anything decent to wear and refuse to buy nice clothes in my huge size, I

say to myself, " How did you let this happen? " I read health magazines, books,

online articles all the time. I am an expert in healthy happy living—but I

can't seem to get myself to use what I know.

I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this week is

a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply to me. I have

no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that it is absolutely

true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really wanted to be slim and

healthy, you would be. "

I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim, but I

can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! In the

meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them address this

issue.

[Guest guest]

Hi muttimarcia,

I just started the book myself and just joined the group for support, so I don't

know how helpful I can be, but your email resonated with me as i have a hard

time tapping into emotions, particularly tough stuff and it keeps me from

grasping things at times - like " why did I react that way?! "

The only thing that has helped me is to just sit with it for a while... keep

journaling and exploring. It doesn't always come immediately to me, but

eventually (sometimes weeks or months later), I'll get that " OH THAT'S IT! "

moment.

I try also just sitting quietly with myself and ask myself the question and then

feel whatever comes up, having a conversation with myself. I've even journalled

a conversation, no matter how inane the conversation seems. It often really

helps.

So I guess my advice is to keep at it, being gentle with yourself. I wouldn't

try to force it, but to just sit with it as you can.

I'm grateful you said something, btw. This stuff doesn't come easy to me and

it's nice to have a fellow struggler to walk with. :-)

Sian

>

> I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my

objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's and met

an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I remember thinking,

" That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " Boy, have I let myself

down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every time I see myself in a mirror

or get winded from simple tasks, or have to pass on an event because I don't

have anything decent to wear and refuse to buy nice clothes in my huge size, I

say to myself, " How did you let this happen? " I read health magazines, books,

online articles all the time. I am an expert in healthy happy living—but I can't

seem to get myself to use what I know.

> I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this week

is a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply to me. I

have no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that it is

absolutely true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really wanted to

be slim and healthy, you would be. "

> I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim, but

I can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! In the

meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them address this

issue.

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for posting this. I struggle this way too. I keep trying to find that

reason and I can't. I have lost the weight and been in excellent health many

times in the past 10 years. Each time I've felt healthy and energetic, happy

with myself, I've sworn that I'd never fall back. I've held on to that state for

years at a time. But life creeps up on me, my schedule changes dramatically, my

focus shifts to other concerns, and suddenly i've fallen back out of shape and

I'm 15 lbs.heavier. It doesn't feel as though I've take on weight because I

wanted to give myself a gift. It feels more like I took on weight because I

forgot that I exist and require maintenance and deserve me time.

" muttimarcia@... " wrote:

>I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my

objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's and met

an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I remember thinking,

" That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " Boy, have I let myself

down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every time I see myself in a mirror

or get winded from simple tasks, or have to pass on an event because I don't

have anything decent to wear and refuse to buy nice clothes in my huge size, I

say to myself, " How did you let this happen? " I read health magazines, books,

online articles all the time. I am an expert in healthy happy living—but I

can't seem to get myself to use what I know.

>I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this week is

a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply to me. I have

no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that it is absolutely

true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really wanted to be slim and

healthy, you would be. "

>I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim, but I

can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! In the

meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them address this

issue.

>

>

[Guest guest]

More thoughts: That being said, I believe that I may have an aversion to being

a " high maintenance female " - like theres something wrong with having needs and

expectations for myself. Somehow, it makes me the " weaker sex " . Am I giving

myself the illusion that " i am woman, hear me roar " while avoiding the reality

that I am human and have to use some portion of my time beating back my

weaknesses, and the effects of time on my body.

Psawyer

" muttimarcia@... " wrote:

>I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my

objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's and met

an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I remember thinking,

" That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " Boy, have I let myself

down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every time I see myself in a mirror

or get winded from simple tasks, or have to pass on an event because I don't

have anything decent to wear and refuse to buy nice clothes in my huge size, I

say to myself, " How did you let this happen? " I read health magazines, books,

online articles all the time. I am an expert in healthy happy living—but I

can't seem to get myself to use what I know.

>I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this week is

a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply to me. I have

no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that it is absolutely

true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really wanted to be slim and

healthy, you would be. "

>I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim, but I

can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! In the

meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them address this

issue.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I struggle with this, also.

I think one objection that I have is that I think people will expect more of me

if I am slim and healthy.

b.

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Thu, January 12, 2012 1:45:39 PM

Subject: FF Week 2

 

I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my

objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's and met

an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I remember thinking,

" That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " Boy, have I let myself

down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every time I see myself in a mirror

or get winded from simple tasks, or have to pass on an event because I don't

have anything decent to wear and refuse to buy nice clothes in my huge size, I

say to myself, " How did you let this happen? " I read health magazines, books,

online articles all the time. I am an expert in healthy happy living—but I

can't

seem to get myself to use what I know.

I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this week is

a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply to me. I have

no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that it is absolutely

true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really wanted to be slim and

healthy, you would be. "

I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim, but I

can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! In the

meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them address this

issue.

[Guest guest]

Sounds like just by trying to help another person, some here are finding

out more about themselves. I love that.

> **

>

>

> I struggle with this, also.

> I think one objection that I have is that I think people will expect more

> of me

> if I am slim and healthy.

>

> b.

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: insideoutweightloss

> Sent: Thu, January 12, 2012 1:45:39 PM

>

> Subject: FF Week 2

>

>

> I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my

> objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's

> and met

> an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I remember

> thinking,

> " That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " Boy, have I let

> myself

> down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every time I see myself in a

> mirror

> or get winded from simple tasks, or have to pass on an event because I

> don't

> have anything decent to wear and refuse to buy nice clothes in my huge

> size, I

> say to myself, " How did you let this happen? " I read health magazines,

> books,

> online articles all the time. I am an expert in healthy happy living—but I

> can't

> seem to get myself to use what I know.

>

> I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this

> week is

> a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply to me.

> I have

> no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that it is

> absolutely

> true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really wanted to be

> slim and

> healthy, you would be. "

>

> I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim,

> but I

> can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! In the

> meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them

> address this

> issue.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Amelia! I have some time tomorrow that I have set aside to work on this.

I'm also going to get an answer in my dreams--that sometimes works when I'm

stuck.

Marcia

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Thursday, January 12, 2012 5:05 PM

Subject: Re: FF Week 2

I can't remember which podcasts address this, but I know they are there.  I

suggest trying to put yourself into a meditative state.  Focus on what you

are feeling like when you choose to overeat.  Why?  Just keep asking " why "

like an annoying 3-year-old.  You might surprise yourself.  It might take a

little time, but find somewhere quiet where you won't be interrupted.

On Thu, Jan 12, 2012 at 11:45 AM, muttimarcia@... <

muttimarcia@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my

> objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's

> and met an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I

> remember thinking, " That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. "

> Boy, have I let myself down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every

> time I see myself in a mirror or get winded from simple tasks, or have to

> pass on an event because I don't have anything decent to wear and refuse to

> buy nice clothes in my huge size, I say to myself, " How did you let this

> happen? " I read health magazines, books, online articles all the time. I am

> an expert in healthy happy living—but I can't seem to get myself to use

> what I know.

> I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this

> week is a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply

> to me. I have no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that

> it is absolutely true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really

> wanted to be slim and healthy, you would be. "

> I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim,

> but I can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know!

> In the meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them

> address this issue.

>

> 

>

--

Amelia Ramstead

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/amelia-ramstead/2b/25b/601

http://www.ameeramstead.com

http://ameliaramstead.blogspot.com

www.twitter.com/ameliaramstead

[Guest guest]

Thanks, skwpt. I actually heard that story told by someone else recently. I

can't remember who it was but I do recall that it was a man who told it. Anyway,

I have been going back over the earlier podcasts and will get the right one

soon. They are all so helpful--I can't help but learn something new!

 

________________________________

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Thursday, January 12, 2012 5:10 PM

Subject: Re: FF Week 2

 

muttimarcia, the podcasts will definitely help. I highly recommend them. In

fact, one could say they are essential.

I don't remember which podcast it is, but told the story of a symposium of

diet doctors who met to discuss ending the obesity epidemic. They all agreed

that education was the key to helping humans (Americans?) get permanently thin

and fit.  A visiting physician from another country (think it was France),

after having had a good look around the room, finally stood up and said, " If

education is the key, and we can all safely assume that we doctors are among the

most highly-educated people on the planet, then why are more than 2/3 of YOU

overweight? "

Love that. If anyone remembers the episode number, please let muttimarcia know.

Keep plugging away. Listen to podcasts, talk to us here, and write about it. The

answer is in you. 

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Thursday, January 12, 2012 2:45 PM

Subject: FF Week 2

 

I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my

objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's and met

an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I remember thinking,

" That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " Boy, have I let myself

down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every time I see myself in a mirror

or get winded from simple tasks, or have to pass on an event because I don't

have anything decent to wear and refuse to buy nice clothes in my huge size, I

say to myself, " How did you let this happen? " I read health magazines, books,

online articles all the time. I am an expert in healthy happy living—but I

can't seem to get myself to use what I know.

I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this week is

a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply to me. I have

no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that it is absolutely

true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really wanted to be slim and

healthy, you would be. "

I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim, but I

can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! In the

meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them address this

issue.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sian! When I read your message I was at the point of getting

frustrated with myself, so your comments were timely and helpful.

Take good care

Marcia 

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Thursday, January 12, 2012 5:14 PM

Subject: Re: FF Week 2

 

Hi muttimarcia,

I just started the book myself and just joined the group for support, so I don't

know how helpful I can be, but your email resonated with me as i have a hard

time tapping into emotions, particularly tough stuff and it keeps me from

grasping things at times - like " why did I react that way?! "

The only thing that has helped me is to just sit with it for a while... keep

journaling and exploring. It doesn't always come immediately to me, but

eventually (sometimes weeks or months later), I'll get that " OH THAT'S IT! "

moment.

I try also just sitting quietly with myself and ask myself the question and then

feel whatever comes up, having a conversation with myself. I've even journalled

a conversation, no matter how inane the conversation seems. It often really

helps.

So I guess my advice is to keep at it, being gentle with yourself. I wouldn't

try to force it, but to just sit with it as you can.

I'm grateful you said something, btw. This stuff doesn't come easy to me and

it's nice to have a fellow struggler to walk with. :-)

Sian

>

> I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my

objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's and met

an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I remember thinking,

" That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " Boy, have I let myself

down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every time I see myself in a mirror

or get winded from simple tasks, or have to pass on an event because I don't

have anything decent to wear and refuse to buy nice clothes in my huge size, I

say to myself, " How did you let this happen? " I read health magazines, books,

online articles all the time. I am an expert in healthy happy living—but I

can't seem to get myself to use what I know.

> I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this week

is a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply to me. I

have no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that it is

absolutely true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really wanted to

be slim and healthy, you would be. "

> I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim, but

I can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! In the

meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them address this

issue.

>

[Guest guest]

On the special " class " forum, ' asked us how week 1 has been going. Here

is what I answered which shows me how much work I have to do. I have fear on

top of all my other issues that snowballed over the years. As Dr. Phil says, on

some level our fat has been working for us.:

I have lived and breathed this concept all week as far as discussing it with

anyone who will listen and writing about it all over these forums. I started an

in-personal local support group at the hospital this week. I had a meeting with

a reporter of our local newspaper this morning because she is going to do a

story about my support group.. Everything makes perfect logical sense, and for

the month prior to Christmas through New Years I " walked the talk " and released

some weight. However, this week I am feeling anxious and my behavior is

inconsistent as respects my food decisions. I decided NOT to exercise as

scheduled on my calendar twice. I overate several times at dinner. I snacked a

couple of times even though I knew I wasn't stomach hungry. I am trying not to

be hard on myself. But, rather I think the " fear " part of me is rearing it's

ugly head because it knows I am really serious this time! Working towards and

getting what I " think " I want (a healthy body and normal weight) may require

some life changing decisions that I am not prepared to make.

Judy

[Guest guest]

Judy:

I think you are prepared to make the tough decisions. That doesn't mean it won't

be scary. Be brave.

b.

> On the special " class " forum, ' asked us how week 1 has been going. Here

is what I answered which shows me how much work I have to do. I have fear on top

of all my other issues that snowballed over the years. As Dr. Phil says, on some

level our fat has been working for us.:

>

> I have lived and breathed this concept all week as far as discussing it with

anyone who will listen and writing about it all over these forums. I started an

in-personal local support group at the hospital this week. I had a meeting with

a reporter of our local newspaper this morning because she is going to do a

story about my support group.. Everything makes perfect logical sense, and for

the month prior to Christmas through New Years I " walked the talk " and released

some weight. However, this week I am feeling anxious and my behavior is

inconsistent as respects my food decisions. I decided NOT to exercise as

scheduled on my calendar twice. I overate several times at dinner. I snacked a

couple of times even though I knew I wasn't stomach hungry. I am trying not to

be hard on myself. But, rather I think the " fear " part of me is rearing it's

ugly head because it knows I am really serious this time! Working towards and

getting what I " think " I want (a healthy body and normal weight) may require

some life changing decisions that I am not prepared to make.

>

> Judy

>

>

[Guest guest]

Judy,

 

From your description your week does not sound bad, in terms of healthy eating

and caring for your body.  I mean, I guess what I mean to say is that maybe you

are being to critical of not being perfect.  I think that it might sabotage

efforts if you focus on what you did not do perfectly this week.  I wonder if

it might be more helpful to look at what you did right....For example.  I

exercised three times this week.  5 of the 7 evenings I ate healthy, happy

portions at dinner... ect...

 

In terms of the fear part rearing its ugly head....I totally understand that! 

A couple of times this week I got myself all jazzed up reading, journaling and

listening to podcasts and then almost immediately fell into unhealthy food

habits - I think that on some level I freaked out my eating disordered self that

does not want to give up my food issues because then like you I will need to

focus on changes that really do need to happen in the rest of my life.  Scarey

stuff.

 

Thanks all for your suggestions for my Forward Motivations - I will post my

" final copy " soon.

 

I hope you all have a great, healthy Saturday!

  Livingston

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 3:53 PM

Subject: Re: FF Week 2

 

On the special " class " forum, ' asked us how week 1 has been going. Here

is what I answered which shows me how much work I have to do. I have fear on

top of all my other issues that snowballed over the years. As Dr. Phil says, on

some level our fat has been working for us.:

I have lived and breathed this concept all week as far as discussing it with

anyone who will listen and writing about it all over these forums. I started an

in-personal local support group at the hospital this week. I had a meeting with

a reporter of our local newspaper this morning because she is going to do a

story about my support group.. Everything makes perfect logical sense, and for

the month prior to Christmas through New Years I " walked the talk " and released

some weight. However, this week I am feeling anxious and my behavior is

inconsistent as respects my food decisions. I decided NOT to exercise as

scheduled on my calendar twice. I overate several times at dinner. I snacked a

couple of times even though I knew I wasn't stomach hungry. I am trying not to

be hard on myself. But, rather I think the " fear " part of me is rearing it's

ugly head because it knows I am really serious this time! Working towards and

getting what I " think " I want

(a healthy body and normal weight) may require some life changing decisions

that I am not prepared to make.

Judy

[Guest guest]

I haven't been able to figure out what benefit overeating or being

overweight is either. I just don't get it... I can't see ANY

benefit, aside for the taste.

Eldred

> I can't remember which podcasts address this, but I know they are there.  I

> suggest trying to put yourself into a meditative state.  Focus on what you

> are feeling like when you choose to overeat.  Why?  Just keep asking " why "

> like an annoying 3-year-old.  You might surprise yourself.  It might take a

> little time, but find somewhere quiet where you won't be interrupted.

>

> On Thu, Jan 12, 2012 at 11:45 AM, muttimarcia@... <

> muttimarcia@...> wrote:

>

>> **

>>

>>

>> I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my

>> objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's

>> and met an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I

>> remember thinking, " That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. "

>> Boy, have I let myself down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every

>> time I see myself in a mirror or get winded from simple tasks, or have to

>> pass on an event because I don't have anything decent to wear and refuse to

>> buy nice clothes in my huge size, I say to myself, " How did you let this

>> happen? " I read health magazines, books, online articles all the time. I am

>> an expert in healthy happy living—but I can't seem to get myself to use

>> what I know.

>> I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this

>> week is a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply

>> to me. I have no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that

>> it is absolutely true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really

>> wanted to be slim and healthy, you would be. "

>> I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim,

>> but I can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know!

>> In the meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them

>> address this issue.

>>

>>

>>

>

>

>

> --

> Amelia Ramstead

> http://www.linkedin.com/pub/amelia-ramstead/2b/25b/601

> http://www.ameeramstead.com

> http://ameliaramstead.blogspot.com

> www.twitter.com/ameliaramstead

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Eldred, I'm still working on that, too. I think it must be important, or it

would be easier!

 

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 3:19 PM

Subject: Re: FF Week 2

I haven't been able to figure out what benefit overeating or being

overweight is either.  I just don't get it...  I can't see ANY

benefit, aside for the taste.

Eldred

> I can't remember which podcasts address this, but I know they are there.  I

> suggest trying to put yourself into a meditative state.  Focus on what you

> are feeling like when you choose to overeat.  Why?  Just keep asking " why "

> like an annoying 3-year-old.  You might surprise yourself.  It might take a

> little time, but find somewhere quiet where you won't be interrupted.

>

> On Thu, Jan 12, 2012 at 11:45 AM, muttimarcia@... <

> muttimarcia@...> wrote:

>

>> **

>>

>>

>> I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my

>> objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's

>> and met an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I

>> remember thinking, " That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. "

>> Boy, have I let myself down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every

>> time I see myself in a mirror or get winded from simple tasks, or have to

>> pass on an event because I don't have anything decent to wear and refuse to

>> buy nice clothes in my huge size, I say to myself, " How did you let this

>> happen? " I read health magazines, books, online articles all the time. I am

>> an expert in healthy happy living—but I can't seem to get myself to use

>> what I know.

>> I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this

>> week is a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply

>> to me. I have no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that

>> it is absolutely true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really

>> wanted to be slim and healthy, you would be. "

>> I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim,

>> but I can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know!

>> In the meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them

>> address this issue.

>>

>>

>>

>

>

>

> --

> Amelia Ramstead

> http://www.linkedin.com/pub/amelia-ramstead/2b/25b/601

> http://www.ameeramstead.com

> http://ameliaramstead.blogspot.com

> www.twitter.com/ameliaramstead

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Here are some of the objections I've identified for myself, so far:

1. I use food to show I love and care for people; if I don't have food, how

will they know I love or care about them?

2. I use food to show love to myself, to mother myself. If I don't have food,

how will I show myself I love me?

3. I use my weight professionally to make sure people suspect I've gotten where

I am because of my brain and not my body. If I lose weight, will people

discount my accomplishments and worth?

That's it so far....

[Guest guest]

Sweet fancy Moses! How did you read my mind? Numbers 1 and 2 are EXACTLY ME!!

Thank you so much!!

Marcia

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 8:23 AM

Subject: Re: FF Week 2

 

Here are some of the objections I've identified for myself, so far:

1. I use food to show I love and care for people; if I don't have food, how

will they know I love or care about them?

2. I use food to show love to myself, to mother myself. If I don't have food,

how will I show myself I love me?

3. I use my weight professionally to make sure people suspect I've gotten where

I am because of my brain and not my body. If I lose weight, will people

discount my accomplishments and worth?

That's it so far....

[Guest guest]

Pretty good karen, what is your career?

" guevara.karen@... " wrote:

>Here are some of the objections I've identified for myself, so far:

>1. I use food to show I love and care for people; if I don't have food, how

will they know I love or care about them?

>2. I use food to show love to myself, to mother myself. If I don't have food,

how will I show myself I love me?

>3. I use my weight professionally to make sure people suspect I've gotten

where I am because of my brain and not my body. If I lose weight, will people

discount my accomplishments and worth?

>

>That's it so far....

>

[Guest guest]

, thanks again for your insight. So, our objections may not necessarily be

about our dream body, but about the person we will be when we are in that body.

Numbers 1 and 2 were really clear to me, but, in my particular case, I would

turn around #3. Maybe, just maybe I'm holding on to this weight to take

advantage of the common conception that fat people are not wise and industrious.

It lowers expectations and gives me the opportunity to opt in or out of an

activity or project. It also helps that I am 63 and grey-haired. I am either

invisible or a pariah. I just realized that I always take my 32 year old

daughter with me when I have to shop for anything that may require assistance of

store associates, and I have her ask my questions. I hate, hate, hate when I am

treated like an idiot because I need some information. I have two freakin'

masters degrees and have been using computers since the Commodore 64 came out!

Geez!

 

, this is huge!!

 

With my deepest gratitude,

Marcia

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 8:23 AM

Subject: Re: FF Week 2

 

Here are some of the objections I've identified for myself, so far:

1. I use food to show I love and care for people; if I don't have food, how

will they know I love or care about them?

2. I use food to show love to myself, to mother myself. If I don't have food,

how will I show myself I love me?

3. I use my weight professionally to make sure people suspect I've gotten where

I am because of my brain and not my body. If I lose weight, will people

discount my accomplishments and worth?

That's it so far....

[Guest guest]

I get that Marcia, I'm more techno-savvy than most 30 year olds out there.

Marcia Anzur wrote:

>, thanks again for your insight. So, our objections may not necessarily be

about our dream body, but about the person we will be when we are in that body.

Numbers 1 and 2 were really clear to me, but, in my particular case, I would

turn around #3. Maybe, just maybe I'm holding on to this weight to take

advantage of the common conception that fat people are not wise and industrious.

It lowers expectations and gives me the opportunity to opt in or out of an

activity or project. It also helps that I am 63 and grey-haired. I am either

invisible or a pariah. I just realized that I always take my 32 year old

daughter with me when I have to shop for anything that may require assistance of

store associates, and I have her ask my questions. I hate, hate, hate when I am

treated like an idiot because I need some information. I have two freakin'

masters degrees and have been using computers since the Commodore 64 came out!

Geez!

> 

>, this is huge!!

> 

>With my deepest gratitude,

>Marcia

>

>

>________________________________

>

>To: insideoutweightloss

>Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 8:23 AM

>Subject: Re: FF Week 2

>

>

>

> 

>

>Here are some of the objections I've identified for myself, so far:

>1. I use food to show I love and care for people; if I don't have food, how

will they know I love or care about them?

>2. I use food to show love to myself, to mother myself. If I don't have food,

how will I show myself I love me?

>3. I use my weight professionally to make sure people suspect I've gotten

where I am because of my brain and not my body. If I lose weight, will people

discount my accomplishments and worth?

>

>That's it so far....

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I've thought some more about this.

Within my family, and my oldest group of friends, I am the only one who

went to college, the only one who has a career, the only one who is

financially secure, the only one who drives a nice car, wears nice

clothes, goes on nice vacations.

I am afraid if I am slim, fit and healthy, they will be jealous and

resent me. So, I join in on the food fests and the couch conventions to

be part of the group.

Writing this down makes me seem conceited. And crazy.

b.

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > I struggle with this, also.

> > I think one objection that I have is that I think people will expect

more

> > of me

> > if I am slim and healthy.

> >

> > b.

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: " muttimarcia@... " muttimarcia@...

> > To: insideoutweightloss

> > Sent: Thu, January 12, 2012 1:45:39 PM

> >

> > Subject: FF Week 2

> >

> >

> > I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering

my

> > objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my

30's

> > and met

> > an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I

remember

> > thinking,

> > " That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " Boy, have I let

> > myself

> > down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every time I see myself

in a

> > mirror

> > or get winded from simple tasks, or have to pass on an event because

I

> > don't

> > have anything decent to wear and refuse to buy nice clothes in my

huge

> > size, I

> > say to myself, " How did you let this happen? " I read health

magazines,

> > books,

> > online articles all the time. I am an expert in healthy happy

living—but I

> > can't

> > seem to get myself to use what I know.

> >

> > I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but

this

> > week is

> > a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply

to me.

> > I have

> > no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that it is

> > absolutely

> > true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really wanted to

be

> > slim and

> > healthy, you would be. "

> >

> > I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being

slim,

> > but I

> > can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know!

In the

> > meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them

> > address this

> > issue.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I did pretty well this past week with one exception - i have a compulsion to

snack on sweets after dinner. I did it again last night. I didn't need the

calories - I had eaten 3 healthy meals throughout the day. I wasn't hungry. I

just had a need to eat something sweet. And I did. This morning, before I did

anything else, I listened to 's Compulsion Blowout meditation, with the

intention to address this particular craving at this particular time of day. I

hope it helps.

b.

>

> On the special " class " forum, ' asked us how week 1 has been going. Here

is what I answered which shows me how much work I have to do. I have fear on

top of all my other issues that snowballed over the years. As Dr. Phil says, on

some level our fat has been working for us.:

>

> I have lived and breathed this concept all week as far as discussing it with

anyone who will listen and writing about it all over these forums. I started an

in-personal local support group at the hospital this week. I had a meeting with

a reporter of our local newspaper this morning because she is going to do a

story about my support group.. Everything makes perfect logical sense, and for

the month prior to Christmas through New Years I " walked the talk " and released

some weight. However, this week I am feeling anxious and my behavior is

inconsistent as respects my food decisions. I decided NOT to exercise as

scheduled on my calendar twice. I overate several times at dinner. I snacked a

couple of times even though I knew I wasn't stomach hungry. I am trying not to

be hard on myself. But, rather I think the " fear " part of me is rearing it's

ugly head because it knows I am really serious this time! Working towards and

getting what I " think " I want (a healthy body and normal weight) may require

some life changing decisions that I am not prepared to make.

>

> Judy

>

[Guest guest]

One of the ones that I came up with for myself was, " I'm afraid that if I

lose the weight I might become snobbish or judgmental towards those who

haven't been able to. " I see that possibility in myself and it frightens

me. How do I know? That's how I acted when I quit smoking.

> **

>

>

> I get that Marcia, I'm more techno-savvy than most 30 year olds out there.

>

>

> Marcia Anzur wrote:

>

> >, thanks again for your insight. So, our objections may not

> necessarily be about our dream body, but about the person we will be when

> we are in that body. Numbers 1 and 2 were really clear to me, but, in my

> particular case, I would turn around #3. Maybe, just maybe I'm holding on

> to this weight to take advantage of the common conception that fat people

> are not wise and industrious. It lowers expectations and gives me the

> opportunity to opt in or out of an activity or project. It also helps that

> I am 63 and grey-haired. I am either invisible or a pariah. I just realized

> that I always take my 32 year old daughter with me when I have to shop for

> anything that may require assistance of store associates, and I have her

> ask my questions. I hate, hate, hate when I am treated like an idiot

> because I need some information. I have two freakin' masters degrees and

> have been using computers since the Commodore 64 came out! Geez!

> >

> >, this is huge!!

> >

> >With my deepest gratitude,

> >Marcia

> >

> >

> >________________________________

> >

> >To: insideoutweightloss

> >Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 8:23 AM

> >Subject: Re: FF Week 2

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >Here are some of the objections I've identified for myself, so far:

> >1. I use food to show I love and care for people; if I don't have food,

> how will they know I love or care about them?

> >2. I use food to show love to myself, to mother myself. If I don't have

> food, how will I show myself I love me?

> >3. I use my weight professionally to make sure people suspect I've gotten

> where I am because of my brain and not my body. If I lose weight, will

> people discount my accomplishments and worth?

> >

> >That's it so far....

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

a, I'm an executive with the federal government, doing nuclear weapons

cleanup. I laugh now when I read my objection that if I were thin, people might

think I'd " slept my way to the top " -- because no one who knows me

professionally ever thinks that of me once I speak! But I work in a very male

dominated field (an engineer by degree), and I think I've carried this objection

with me from my early days of being the first woman to blah, blah, blah. But it

was helpful to find this reflection and already sense what a silly rule it is to

have continued to carry over a 30 year career.

Marcia, I'm so glad that my sharing opened a window for you. That's what this

support stuff is supposed to do -- help us get unstuck from the hidden messages

and rules that have shaped our relationship with food -- and shaped our bodies!

No longer hidden -- I call that a victory!

I think your concept of using weight to get a " pass " on some things may also

have relevance for me. I'll have to think on that some more!

Thanks so much for your thoughts and your support!

[Guest guest]

Great list !  I am just ending week 1 of Full-Filled.  I have done a lot

of inside work on fear and anxiety over the past 8 years due to an anxiety

disorder.  I remember struggling with the question of what the payoff was for

me where " fear " was concerned.  I finally came to the conclusion that fear

keeps me from doing the things I really don't want to do anyway.  There are

some people I really don't want to see.  If I have a " travel phobia " , then I

don't have to go see them.  The double edged sword though is that it also keeps

me from doing things I really do want to do.  Fear and anxiety feels horrible

no matter which activity is going on.

 

I wonder if my behavior around food might be the same thing.  I " don't' want to

give up sugar.  Therefore, if I no longer have issues with my food; I won't

binge on sugar.  Eating in a healthy manner would mean I would have to be

" responsible " .  Growing up, as the first born, in a very dysfunctional and

abusive family meant I had to be the " responsible " one to take care of my

younger siblings.  I was the one put in charge of all the cooking, cleaning and

babysitting for a family of 5.  We were on a farm without running water.  That

meant the laundry required 50 buckets of water from a well to fill the washer

out on the back patio.  Everything was washed in the same water and then I had

to hand wash in a rinse tub and feed the clothes through a wringer . 

Sigh....It was a hard life.  No wonder I don't want to be responsible.  That

being said, I'm an employer's dream.  I am a very hard worker and very

responsible.  Why can't I do the same

with food?

 

Someone else mentioned their weight as clutter.  I worked the 12 steps on

clutter one year.  The definition of clutter is anytime an item can't be used

for it's designed purpose due to excess stuff on it.  For example: If a table

can't be used for sitting down to a meal (which is designed for), then it is

cluttered.  I would have to say that my weight definitely fits that definition

as being clutter on my body because it keeps me from doing all that my body was

designed to do. 

P.S.  Although I'm not on the computer all the time, I have enjoyed reading

what everyone has written.  I have just started listening to the podcasts. 

(Thanks to everyone who gave me directions on how to download them).  I listen

while I am exercising. 

Subject: Re: FF Week 2

To: insideoutweightloss

Date: Sunday, January 15, 2012, 7:23 AM

 

Here are some of the objections I've identified for myself, so far:

1. I use food to show I love and care for people; if I don't have food, how will

they know I love or care about them?

2. I use food to show love to myself, to mother myself. If I don't have food,

how will I show myself I love me?

3. I use my weight professionally to make sure people suspect I've gotten where

I am because of my brain and not my body. If I lose weight, will people discount

my accomplishments and worth?

That's it so far....