Guest guest Posted January 15, 2012 Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 that's 1 that feels very familiar. Let me know how it goes. iowl_good_day wrote: >I did pretty well this past week with one exception - i have a compulsion to snack on sweets after dinner. I did it again last night. I didn't need the calories - I had eaten 3 healthy meals throughout the day. I wasn't hungry. I just had a need to eat something sweet. And I did. This morning, before I did anything else, I listened to 's Compulsion Blowout meditation, with the intention to address this particular craving at this particular time of day. I hope it helps. >b. > > >> >> On the special " class " forum, ' asked us how week 1 has been going. Here is what I answered which shows me how much work I have to do. I have fear on top of all my other issues that snowballed over the years. As Dr. Phil says, on some level our fat has been working for us.: >> >> I have lived and breathed this concept all week as far as discussing it with anyone who will listen and writing about it all over these forums. I started an in-personal local support group at the hospital this week. I had a meeting with a reporter of our local newspaper this morning because she is going to do a story about my support group.. Everything makes perfect logical sense, and for the month prior to Christmas through New Years I " walked the talk " and released some weight. However, this week I am feeling anxious and my behavior is inconsistent as respects my food decisions. I decided NOT to exercise as scheduled on my calendar twice. I overate several times at dinner. I snacked a couple of times even though I knew I wasn't stomach hungry. I am trying not to be hard on myself. But, rather I think the " fear " part of me is rearing it's ugly head because it knows I am really serious this time! Working towards and getting what I " think " I want (a healthy body and normal weight) may require some life changing decisions that I am not prepared to make. >> >> Judy >> > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2012 Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 I have more - Objections about being slim and healthy - * I think I might be viewed by my family and friends as being Polly Perfect * I am afraid of attracting unwanted attention. I recalled that the last time I lost weight (16 yrs ago), my boss at the time walked up behind me at a business dinner and whispered " I can tell you've lost weight; you look so good in that dress " CREEEP! Totally unwanted attention - I was wearing a business suit, talking to a colleague about that year's goals, not being flirty or wearing anything inappropriate! YUCK! I couldn't believe how angry I felt when I remembered this today. * If I lose weight, I will have to admit there is something wrong with the way I am now. * I have the belief that maintaining a lower weight is hard work and not likely to last, so why bother? * If I don't literally stuff my emotions down, I will have to process them. b. ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Sun, January 15, 2012 11:58:56 AM Subject: Re: FF Week 2  I've thought some more about this. Within my family, and my oldest group of friends, I am the only one who went to college, the only one who has a career, the only one who is financially secure, the only one who drives a nice car, wears nice clothes, goes on nice vacations. I am afraid if I am slim, fit and healthy, they will be jealous and resent me. So, I join in on the food fests and the couch conventions to be part of the group. Writing this down makes me seem conceited. And crazy. b. > > > ** > > > > > > I struggle with this, also. > > I think one objection that I have is that I think people will expect more > > of me > > if I am slim and healthy. > > > > b. > > > > > > ________________________________ > > From: " muttimarcia@... " muttimarcia@... > > To: insideoutweightloss > > Sent: Thu, January 12, 2012 1:45:39 PM > > > > Subject: FF Week 2 > > > > > > I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my > > objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's > > and met > > an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I remember > > thinking, > > " That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " Boy, have I let > > myself > > down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every time I see myself in a > > mirror > > or get winded from simple tasks, or have to pass on an event because I > > don't > > have anything decent to wear and refuse to buy nice clothes in my huge > > size, I > > say to myself, " How did you let this happen? " I read health magazines, > > books, > > online articles all the time. I am an expert in healthy happy living—but I > > can't > > seem to get myself to use what I know. > > > > I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this > > week is > > a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply to me. > > I have > > no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that it is > > absolutely > > true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really wanted to be > > slim and > > healthy, you would be. " > > > > I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim, > > but I > > can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! In the > > meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them > > address this > > issue. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2012 Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 Hey , I got a physics degree 25 years ago. I considered going into engineering, but found the objectification of females by the engineers that I was hanging out with, to be intimidating. they all treated me like an intelligent human being when I was with them, but I couldn't help but wonder what they said about me when I wasn't there. I'm sure the field has changed a great deal in 25 years. I'm sure that at this point in your career, you have created for yourself a reputation that would allow you to comfortably be your beautiful self. Psawyer " guevara.karen@... " wrote: >a, I'm an executive with the federal government, doing nuclear weapons cleanup. I laugh now when I read my objection that if I were thin, people might think I'd " slept my way to the top " -- because no one who knows me professionally ever thinks that of me once I speak! But I work in a very male dominated field (an engineer by degree), and I think I've carried this objection with me from my early days of being the first woman to blah, blah, blah. But it was helpful to find this reflection and already sense what a silly rule it is to have continued to carry over a 30 year career. > >Marcia, I'm so glad that my sharing opened a window for you. That's what this support stuff is supposed to do -- help us get unstuck from the hidden messages and rules that have shaped our relationship with food -- and shaped our bodies! No longer hidden -- I call that a victory! > >I think your concept of using weight to get a " pass " on some things may also have relevance for me. I'll have to think on that some more! > >Thanks so much for your thoughts and your support! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2012 Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 Hi all, Couldn't get my head around the objections at first but reading through the posts has helped me re-arrange my thought process. I don' like the extra attention at all! Throughout my life My parents put so much emphasis on weight. My dad would stand behind my mother when she got on the scale in the mornings and voice approval or disapproval. I also remember my mother having a pad of paper on her desk near the phone in the kitchen-the saying on it; " you can never be too rich or too thin " . My mom was educated, bright, beautiful, a wonderful cook and hostess, girl scout Leader... On and on. Where did it get her? Scorned, divorced and alone and fighting breast cancer by the ripe old age of 46. So, why bother with all that hard work? Love me as i am or leave me? Anyone have any thoughts? It's so painful for me to write this I am finding it hard to focus and can't seem to draw any conclusions. > Hey , > I got a physics degree 25 years ago. I considered going into engineering, but found the objectification of females by the engineers that I was hanging out with, to be intimidating. they all treated me like an intelligent human being when I was with them, but I couldn't help but wonder what they said about me when I wasn't there. I'm sure the field has changed a great deal in 25 years. I'm sure that at this point in your career, you have created for yourself a reputation that would allow you to comfortably be your beautiful self. > Psawyer > > " guevara.karen@... " wrote: > > >a, I'm an executive with the federal government, doing nuclear weapons cleanup. I laugh now when I read my objection that if I were thin, people might think I'd " slept my way to the top " -- because no one who knows me professionally ever thinks that of me once I speak! But I work in a very male dominated field (an engineer by degree), and I think I've carried this objection with me from my early days of being the first woman to blah, blah, blah. But it was helpful to find this reflection and already sense what a silly rule it is to have continued to carry over a 30 year career. > > > >Marcia, I'm so glad that my sharing opened a window for you. That's what this support stuff is supposed to do -- help us get unstuck from the hidden messages and rules that have shaped our relationship with food -- and shaped our bodies! No longer hidden -- I call that a victory! > > > >I think your concept of using weight to get a " pass " on some things may also have relevance for me. I'll have to think on that some more! > > > >Thanks so much for your thoughts and your support! > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2012 Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 There ready is nothing wrong with the way you are now. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to see change happen in your life. If I chose to change my career path, it doesn't mean that what I was doing was bad, it just means that I'm ready for a change. Are you ready for a change? Psawyer IOWLG00dD4y wrote: >I have more - >Objections about being slim and healthy - > * I think I might be viewed by my family and friends as being Polly Perfect > * I am afraid of attracting unwanted attention. I recalled that the last time I >lost weight (16 yrs ago), my boss at the time walked up behind me at a business >dinner and whispered " I can tell you've lost weight; you look so good in that >dress " CREEEP! Totally unwanted attention - I was wearing a business suit, >talking to a colleague about that year's goals, not being flirty or wearing >anything inappropriate! YUCK! I couldn't believe how angry I felt when I >remembered this today. > > * If I lose weight, I will have to admit there is something wrong with the way >I am now. > * I have the belief that maintaining a lower weight is hard work and not likely >to last, so why bother? > * If I don't literally stuff my emotions down, I will have to process them. > >b. > > >________________________________ > >To: insideoutweightloss >Sent: Sun, January 15, 2012 11:58:56 AM >Subject: Re: FF Week 2 > > > >I've thought some more about this. > >Within my family, and my oldest group of friends, I am the only one who >went to college, the only one who has a career, the only one who is >financially secure, the only one who drives a nice car, wears nice >clothes, goes on nice vacations. > >I am afraid if I am slim, fit and healthy, they will be jealous and >resent me. So, I join in on the food fests and the couch conventions to >be part of the group. > >Writing this down makes me seem conceited. And crazy. > >b. > >> >> > ** >> > >> > >> > I struggle with this, also. >> > I think one objection that I have is that I think people will expect >more >> > of me >> > if I am slim and healthy. >> > >> > b. >> > >> > >> > ________________________________ >> > From: " muttimarcia@... " muttimarcia@... >> > To: insideoutweightloss >> > Sent: Thu, January 12, 2012 1:45:39 PM >> > >> > Subject: FF Week 2 >> > >> > >> > I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering >my >> > objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my >30's >> > and met >> > an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I >remember >> > thinking, >> > " That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " Boy, have I let >> > myself >> > down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every time I see myself >in a >> > mirror >> > or get winded from simple tasks, or have to pass on an event because >I >> > don't >> > have anything decent to wear and refuse to buy nice clothes in my >huge >> > size, I >> > say to myself, " How did you let this happen? " I read health >magazines, >> > books, >> > online articles all the time. I am an expert in healthy happy >living—but I >> > can't >> > seem to get myself to use what I know. >> > >> > I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but >this >> > week is >> > a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply >to me. >> > I have >> > no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that it is >> > absolutely >> > true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really wanted to >be >> > slim and >> > healthy, you would be. " >> > >> > I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being >slim, >> > but I >> > can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! >In the >> > meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them >> > address this >> > issue. >> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 IOWL listener: I can understand that objection. Your mother got a bad deal. Her motivation for being thin may have come from external sources, not from internal sources. Has the same happened to you? Do you feel your true self is unaccepted? Is your motivation for weight loss internal or external? b. ________________________________ To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Sun, January 15, 2012 9:19:02 PM Subject: Re: Re: FF Week 2  Hi all, Couldn't get my head around the objections at first but reading through the posts has helped me re-arrange my thought process. I don' like the extra attention at all! Throughout my life My parents put so much emphasis on weight. My dad would stand behind my mother when she got on the scale in the mornings and voice approval or disapproval. I also remember my mother having a pad of paper on her desk near the phone in the kitchen-the saying on it; " you can never be too rich or too thin " . My mom was educated, bright, beautiful, a wonderful cook and hostess, girl scout Leader... On and on. Where did it get her? Scorned, divorced and alone and fighting breast cancer by the ripe old age of 46. So, why bother with all that hard work? Love me as i am or leave me? Anyone have any thoughts? It's so painful for me to write this I am finding it hard to focus and can't seem to draw any conclusions. > Hey , > I got a physics degree 25 years ago. I considered going into engineering, but >found the objectification of females by the engineers that I was hanging out >with, to be intimidating. they all treated me like an intelligent human being >when I was with them, but I couldn't help but wonder what they said about me >when I wasn't there. I'm sure the field has changed a great deal in 25 years. >I'm sure that at this point in your career, you have created for yourself a >reputation that would allow you to comfortably be your beautiful self. > Psawyer > > " guevara.karen@... " wrote: > > >a, I'm an executive with the federal government, doing nuclear weapons >cleanup. I laugh now when I read my objection that if I were thin, people might >think I'd " slept my way to the top " -- because no one who knows me >professionally ever thinks that of me once I speak! But I work in a very male >dominated field (an engineer by degree), and I think I've carried this objection >with me from my early days of being the first woman to blah, blah, blah. But it >was helpful to find this reflection and already sense what a silly rule it is to >have continued to carry over a 30 year career. > > > >Marcia, I'm so glad that my sharing opened a window for you. That's what this >support stuff is supposed to do -- help us get unstuck from the hidden messages >and rules that have shaped our relationship with food -- and shaped our bodies! >No longer hidden -- I call that a victory! > > > >I think your concept of using weight to get a " pass " on some things may also >have relevance for me. I'll have to think on that some more! > > > >Thanks so much for your thoughts and your support! > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 a: Thanks for that thought. I am definitely ready for a change. I also realize that some of my objections are rooted in the past and project into the future. I'm going to focus on today and Now. b. ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Sun, January 15, 2012 10:33:11 PM Subject: Re: Re: FF Week 2  There ready is nothing wrong with the way you are now. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to see change happen in your life. If I chose to change my career path, it doesn't mean that what I was doing was bad, it just means that I'm ready for a change. Are you ready for a change? Psawyer IOWLG00dD4y wrote: >I have more - >Objections about being slim and healthy - > * I think I might be viewed by my family and friends as being Polly Perfect > * I am afraid of attracting unwanted attention. I recalled that the last time I > >lost weight (16 yrs ago), my boss at the time walked up behind me at a business >dinner and whispered " I can tell you've lost weight; you look so good in that >dress " CREEEP! Totally unwanted attention - I was wearing a business suit, >talking to a colleague about that year's goals, not being flirty or wearing >anything inappropriate! YUCK! I couldn't believe how angry I felt when I >remembered this today. > > * If I lose weight, I will have to admit there is something wrong with the way >I am now. > * I have the belief that maintaining a lower weight is hard work and not likely > >to last, so why bother? > * If I don't literally stuff my emotions down, I will have to process them. > >b. > > >________________________________ > >To: insideoutweightloss >Sent: Sun, January 15, 2012 11:58:56 AM >Subject: Re: FF Week 2 > > > >I've thought some more about this. > >Within my family, and my oldest group of friends, I am the only one who >went to college, the only one who has a career, the only one who is >financially secure, the only one who drives a nice car, wears nice >clothes, goes on nice vacations. > >I am afraid if I am slim, fit and healthy, they will be jealous and >resent me. So, I join in on the food fests and the couch conventions to >be part of the group. > >Writing this down makes me seem conceited. And crazy. > >b. > >> >> > ** >> > >> > >> > I struggle with this, also. >> > I think one objection that I have is that I think people will expect >more >> > of me >> > if I am slim and healthy. >> > >> > b. >> > >> > >> > ________________________________ >> > From: " muttimarcia@... " muttimarcia@... >> > To: insideoutweightloss >> > Sent: Thu, January 12, 2012 1:45:39 PM >> > >> > Subject: FF Week 2 >> > >> > >> > I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering >my >> > objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my >30's >> > and met >> > an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I >remember >> > thinking, >> > " That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " Boy, have I let >> > myself >> > down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every time I see myself >in a >> > mirror >> > or get winded from simple tasks, or have to pass on an event because >I >> > don't >> > have anything decent to wear and refuse to buy nice clothes in my >huge >> > size, I >> > say to myself, " How did you let this happen? " I read health >magazines, >> > books, >> > online articles all the time. I am an expert in healthy happy >living—but I >> > can't >> > seem to get myself to use what I know. >> > >> > I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but >this >> > week is >> > a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply >to me. >> > I have >> > no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that it is >> > absolutely >> > true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really wanted to >be >> > slim and >> > healthy, you would be. " >> > >> > I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being >slim, >> > but I >> > can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! >In the >> > meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them >> > address this >> > issue. >> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Hi b, thanks for the insightful questions. I practically shuttered when you asked about the external vs internal motivations. I am really going to have to meditate on that-I think there is a lot there for me. Definitely external with my mother...I think she does for others more than for herself. And the weight thing was always about deprivation. That was what grabbed me about 's podcasts-the idea of living a naturally slender life without feelings of deprivation. I still have a hard time believing that can be achieved. I spent so many years trying to dull, ignore or numb my hunger ;it has taken me a year just to focus on the fact that feeling hungry is a good thing! Probably take me another year to learn how to properly answer that hunger. Thankfully, I am in a wonderful and loving relationship with my husband. He is loyal and kind and even after 15 years my heart still pitter pats when I see him. He gets my baggage and is utterly accepting of me. I wish I could feel about me as he feels about me!! For my part I feel like the fraud; I take my successes for granted and seem to obsess about my failures or inadequacies. I don't feel much like I belong anywhere and once I do start belonging I don't like getting past the initial surface because my expectations are always dashed. Not to be cryptic but when I make new friends or join a tennis team or something once I get to know people on another level it seems as though I am always disappointed. Thanks again for the insightful post. Sent from my iPad > IOWL listener: > I can understand that objection. Your mother got a bad deal. > Her motivation for being thin may have come from external sources, not from > internal sources. > Has the same happened to you? Do you feel your true self is unaccepted? > Is your motivation for weight loss internal or external? > > b. > > ________________________________ > > To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > > Sent: Sun, January 15, 2012 9:19:02 PM > Subject: Re: Re: FF Week 2 > > > Hi all, > Couldn't get my head around the objections > at first but reading through the posts has helped > me re-arrange my thought process. I don' > like the extra attention at all! Throughout my life > My parents put so much emphasis on weight. > My dad would stand behind my mother when > she got on the scale in the mornings and voice approval > or disapproval. I also remember my mother having > a pad of paper on her desk near the phone > in the kitchen-the saying on it; " you can never be > too rich or too thin " . My mom was educated, bright, > beautiful, a wonderful cook and hostess, girl scout > Leader... On and on. Where did it get her? > Scorned, divorced and alone and fighting breast > cancer by the ripe old age of 46. So, why > bother with all that hard work? > Love me as i am or leave me? > Anyone have any thoughts? It's so painful for me to > write this I am finding it hard to focus and can't seem > to draw any conclusions. > > > > > Hey , > > I got a physics degree 25 years ago. I considered going into engineering, but > >found the objectification of females by the engineers that I was hanging out > >with, to be intimidating. they all treated me like an intelligent human being > >when I was with them, but I couldn't help but wonder what they said about me > >when I wasn't there. I'm sure the field has changed a great deal in 25 years. > >I'm sure that at this point in your career, you have created for yourself a > >reputation that would allow you to comfortably be your beautiful self. > > Psawyer > > > > " guevara.karen@... " wrote: > > > > >a, I'm an executive with the federal government, doing nuclear weapons > >cleanup. I laugh now when I read my objection that if I were thin, people might > >think I'd " slept my way to the top " -- because no one who knows me > >professionally ever thinks that of me once I speak! But I work in a very male > >dominated field (an engineer by degree), and I think I've carried this objection > >with me from my early days of being the first woman to blah, blah, blah. But it > >was helpful to find this reflection and already sense what a silly rule it is to > >have continued to carry over a 30 year career. > > > > > >Marcia, I'm so glad that my sharing opened a window for you. That's what this > >support stuff is supposed to do -- help us get unstuck from the hidden messages > >and rules that have shaped our relationship with food -- and shaped our bodies! > >No longer hidden -- I call that a victory! > > > > > >I think your concept of using weight to get a " pass " on some things may also > >have relevance for me. I'll have to think on that some more! > > > > > >Thanks so much for your thoughts and your support! > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Here are two main objections I came up with: #1 – The person who is bored with their life and in middle age says, " is this all there is? " .. and/or lonely or lack of belonging. You see, I am all about fun and often am not being satisfied with enough companionship, fun and excitement at home. I have made some great friends recently that has helped greatly! The positive intent I get from overeating is to numb the feelings of boredom or loneliness and get a few seconds or minutes of fun. #2 – My identity to myself and to all my friends and family is in my fun personality and love of partying, eating and drinking! Judy is a fun loving girl who loves her food and booze! The positive intent is to feel worthy and loved?? Or, maybe excitement? That felt good to get out!! Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 It felt good to hear!  Livingston ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Monday, January 16, 2012 6:16 PM Subject: Re: FF Week 2  Here are two main objections I came up with: #1 – The person who is bored with their life and in middle age says, " is this all there is? " .. and/or lonely or lack of belonging. You see, I am all about fun and often am not being satisfied with enough companionship, fun and excitement at home. I have made some great friends recently that has helped greatly! The positive intent I get from overeating is to numb the feelings of boredom or loneliness and get a few seconds or minutes of fun. #2 – My identity to myself and to all my friends and family is in my fun personality and love of partying, eating and drinking! Judy is a fun loving girl who loves her food and booze! The positive intent is to feel worthy and loved?? Or, maybe excitement? That felt good to get out!! Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Or maybe you feel that which makes you loveable is the excitement that you bring to the table. So it's both. You are feeling like you are asking yourself to give up a part of yourself that has great value. Psawyer Judy wrote: >Here are two main objections I came up with: > >#1 – The person who is bored with their life and in middle age says, " is this all there is? " .. and/or lonely or lack of belonging. > >You see, I am all about fun and often am not being satisfied with enough companionship, fun and excitement at home. I have made some great friends recently that has helped greatly! > >The positive intent I get from overeating is to numb the feelings of boredom or loneliness and get a few seconds or minutes of fun. > >#2 – My identity to myself and to all my friends and family is in my fun personality and love of partying, eating and drinking! Judy is a fun loving girl who loves her food and booze! > >The positive intent is to feel worthy and loved?? Or, maybe excitement? > >That felt good to get out!! > >Judy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2012 Report Share Posted January 17, 2012 I am also a Fraud personality. I feel like I'm not really who I am. I'm just pretending to be me until I really can be me. If that makes any sense? I also understand about relating to people and being disappointed. b. ________________________________ To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Mon, January 16, 2012 12:13:52 PM Subject: Re: Re: FF Week 2  Hi b, thanks for the insightful questions. I practically shuttered when you asked about the external vs internal motivations. I am really going to have to meditate on that-I think there is a lot there for me. Definitely external with my mother...I think she does for others more than for herself. And the weight thing was always about deprivation. That was what grabbed me about 's podcasts-the idea of living a naturally slender life without feelings of deprivation. I still have a hard time believing that can be achieved. I spent so many years trying to dull, ignore or numb my hunger ;it has taken me a year just to focus on the fact that feeling hungry is a good thing! Probably take me another year to learn how to properly answer that hunger. Thankfully, I am in a wonderful and loving relationship with my husband. He is loyal and kind and even after 15 years my heart still pitter pats when I see him. He gets my baggage and is utterly accepting of me. I wish I could feel about me as he feels about me!! For my part I feel like the fraud; I take my successes for granted and seem to obsess about my failures or inadequacies. I don't feel much like I belong anywhere and once I do start belonging I don't like getting past the initial surface because my expectations are always dashed. Not to be cryptic but when I make new friends or join a tennis team or something once I get to know people on another level it seems as though I am always disappointed. Thanks again for the insightful post. Sent from my iPad > IOWL listener: > I can understand that objection. Your mother got a bad deal. > Her motivation for being thin may have come from external sources, not from > internal sources. > Has the same happened to you? Do you feel your true self is unaccepted? > Is your motivation for weight loss internal or external? > > b. > > ________________________________ > > To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > > Sent: Sun, January 15, 2012 9:19:02 PM > Subject: Re: Re: FF Week 2 > > > Hi all, > Couldn't get my head around the objections > at first but reading through the posts has helped > me re-arrange my thought process. I don' > like the extra attention at all! Throughout my life > My parents put so much emphasis on weight. > My dad would stand behind my mother when > she got on the scale in the mornings and voice approval > or disapproval. I also remember my mother having > a pad of paper on her desk near the phone > in the kitchen-the saying on it; " you can never be > too rich or too thin " . My mom was educated, bright, > beautiful, a wonderful cook and hostess, girl scout > Leader... On and on. Where did it get her? > Scorned, divorced and alone and fighting breast > cancer by the ripe old age of 46. So, why > bother with all that hard work? > Love me as i am or leave me? > Anyone have any thoughts? It's so painful for me to > write this I am finding it hard to focus and can't seem > to draw any conclusions. > > > > > Hey , > > I got a physics degree 25 years ago. I considered going into engineering, but > > >found the objectification of females by the engineers that I was hanging out > >with, to be intimidating. they all treated me like an intelligent human being > >when I was with them, but I couldn't help but wonder what they said about me > >when I wasn't there. I'm sure the field has changed a great deal in 25 years. > >I'm sure that at this point in your career, you have created for yourself a > >reputation that would allow you to comfortably be your beautiful self. > > Psawyer > > > > " guevara.karen@... " wrote: > > > > >a, I'm an executive with the federal government, doing nuclear weapons > >cleanup. I laugh now when I read my objection that if I were thin, people >might > > >think I'd " slept my way to the top " -- because no one who knows me > >professionally ever thinks that of me once I speak! But I work in a very male > >dominated field (an engineer by degree), and I think I've carried this >objection > > >with me from my early days of being the first woman to blah, blah, blah. But >it > > >was helpful to find this reflection and already sense what a silly rule it is >to > > >have continued to carry over a 30 year career. > > > > > >Marcia, I'm so glad that my sharing opened a window for you. That's what >this > > >support stuff is supposed to do -- help us get unstuck from the hidden >messages > > >and rules that have shaped our relationship with food -- and shaped our >bodies! > > >No longer hidden -- I call that a victory! > > > > > >I think your concept of using weight to get a " pass " on some things may also > > >have relevance for me. I'll have to think on that some more! > > > > > >Thanks so much for your thoughts and your support! > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2012 Report Share Posted January 17, 2012 Judy - Your second objection seems like a hard one to overcome - changing your identity. How will you do it? b. ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Mon, January 16, 2012 6:16:58 PM Subject: Re: FF Week 2  Here are two main objections I came up with: #1 – The person who is bored with their life and in middle age says, " is this all there is? " .. and/or lonely or lack of belonging. You see, I am all about fun and often am not being satisfied with enough companionship, fun and excitement at home. I have made some great friends recently that has helped greatly! The positive intent I get from overeating is to numb the feelings of boredom or loneliness and get a few seconds or minutes of fun. #2 – My identity to myself and to all my friends and family is in my fun personality and love of partying, eating and drinking! Judy is a fun loving girl who loves her food and booze! The positive intent is to feel worthy and loved?? Or, maybe excitement? That felt good to get out!! Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2012 Report Share Posted January 17, 2012 iowllistner... it sounds like the daily family tradition on the scale (how horrible!) and then your poor mother's health future could be the core of your deep rooted issues. She was perfect, but her life wasn't great. So why bother???? ((Hugs)), Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2012 Report Share Posted January 29, 2012 I wanted to share this with the group - I think it's pretty funny! I listened to 's Compulsion Blowout meditation, with the intention to address my cravings for more food while watching TV after dinner. My food cravings haven't necessarily gone away, but my interest in watching TV has been drastically reduced! HA HA! Be careful what you wish for! b. > > > > On the special " class " forum, ' asked us how week 1 has been going. Here is what I answered which shows me how much work I have to do. I have fear on top of all my other issues that snowballed over the years. As Dr. Phil says, on some level our fat has been working for us.: > > > > I have lived and breathed this concept all week as far as discussing it with anyone who will listen and writing about it all over these forums. I started an in-personal local support group at the hospital this week. I had a meeting with a reporter of our local newspaper this morning because she is going to do a story about my support group.. Everything makes perfect logical sense, and for the month prior to Christmas through New Years I " walked the talk " and released some weight. However, this week I am feeling anxious and my behavior is inconsistent as respects my food decisions. I decided NOT to exercise as scheduled on my calendar twice. I overate several times at dinner. I snacked a couple of times even though I knew I wasn't stomach hungry. I am trying not to be hard on myself. But, rather I think the " fear " part of me is rearing it's ugly head because it knows I am really serious this time! Working towards and getting what I " think " I want (a healthy body and normal weight) may require some life changing decisions that I am not prepared to make. > > > > Judy > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 Hi Guys I just started week 2 today. So this is my first " integration " e-mail Im excited and determined that I will change from inside out. The exercises from the first week helped me so much to realize feel things that i never thought before, for example that if I keep doing what Im doing I will be this fat sad and tired lady... munching and watching tv... but if I change now.. and I can do that.. i will have endless energy and be much happier for my next 100 years Anyway I just wanna share send my best vibrations to everyone! Isa 2012/1/12 muttimarcia@... > ** > > > I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my > objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's > and met an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I > remember thinking, " That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " > Boy, have I let myself down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every > time I see myself in a mirror or get winded from simple tasks, or have to > pass on an event because I don't have anything decent to wear and refuse to > buy nice clothes in my huge size, I say to myself, " How did you let this > happen? " I read health magazines, books, online articles all the time. I am > an expert in healthy happy living—but I can't seem to get myself to use > what I know. > I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this > week is a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply > to me. I have no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that > it is absolutely true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really > wanted to be slim and healthy, you would be. " > I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim, > but I can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! > In the meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them > address this issue. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 Welcome to the group! b. > > Hi Guys I just started week 2 today. > > So this is my first " integration " e-mail Im excited and determined that > I will change from inside out. The exercises from the first week helped me > so much to realize feel things that i never thought before, for example > that if I keep doing what Im doing I will be this fat sad and tired lady... > munching and watching tv... but if I change now.. and I can do that.. i > will have endless energy and be much happier for my next 100 years > > Anyway I just wanna share > > send my best vibrations to everyone! > > Isa > > 2012/1/12 muttimarcia@... > > > ** > > > > > > I started Week 2 yesterday, and I'm having a hard time discovering my > > objections. I have had my Future Dream Body image since I was in my 30's > > and met an older woman who was happy, energetic, slim and stylish. I > > remember thinking, " That's what I want to be like when I'm in my 60's. " > > Boy, have I let myself down! I am lonely, sluggish, fat and frumpy. Every > > time I see myself in a mirror or get winded from simple tasks, or have to > > pass on an event because I don't have anything decent to wear and refuse to > > buy nice clothes in my huge size, I say to myself, " How did you let this > > happen? " I read health magazines, books, online articles all the time. I am > > an expert in healthy happy living—but I can't seem to get myself to use > > what I know. > > I was happy last week because I had my dream body figured out, but this > > week is a problem. None of the suggestions that listed seem to apply > > to me. I have no reason to avoid being slimmer and healthier. I know that > > it is absolutely true that, as ' wrote something like, " If you really > > wanted to be slim and healthy, you would be. " > > I am willing to face any truth that may be causing me to fear being slim, > > but I can't get to it!! If any of you have any ideas, please let me know! > > In the meantime, I'm going to check out the podcasts to see if any of them > > address this issue. > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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