Re: Challenges in the Next Couple Weeks

[Guest guest]

This holiday season, I found that doing a prequel before going into the

situation helped. I thought about what I wanted to get out of the day, how I

wanted to present myself, how I wanted to behave around the food, how I could

find safety if I got uncomfortable, how I wanted to feel after the event, how I

wanted to feel tomorrow. I had some ready god success this way.

Psawyer

iowl_good_day wrote:

>

>Hi -

>

>I thought that with the end of the Holiday Season, I could revert to a

>more stable routine, but as I look at my calendar I see several

>restaurant meals and social events in the next 2 weeks - a birthday

>dinner, a wedding, a coworker lunch, a business dinner and an all-day

>business meeting.

>

>These types of events are triggers for me. I'd like to ask for your help

>and support so I can attend these events without compromising my weight

>loss intentions.

>

>Carleton - I liked what you said in one of your posts - " It's important

>to be present and celebrate " . I'll remember this, instead of " It's

>important to eat everything that's put in front of me. "

>

>Thanks.

>

>b.

>

>

[Guest guest]

If you can check out the menu ahead of time, you can make a plan. Last week

I had a lot of restaurant meals, and I checked ahead and went to the

restaurant with a plan in mind. Just don't let anyone talk you out of it!

It's really easy to get into " special occasion " mindset, so watch out for

that. Enjoy the company!

> **

>

>

> This holiday season, I found that doing a prequel before going into the

> situation helped. I thought about what I wanted to get out of the day, how

> I wanted to present myself, how I wanted to behave around the food, how I

> could find safety if I got uncomfortable, how I wanted to feel after the

> event, how I wanted to feel tomorrow. I had some ready god success this way.

> Psawyer

>

> iowl_good_day wrote:

>

> >

> >Hi -

> >

> >I thought that with the end of the Holiday Season, I could revert to a

> >more stable routine, but as I look at my calendar I see several

> >restaurant meals and social events in the next 2 weeks - a birthday

> >dinner, a wedding, a coworker lunch, a business dinner and an all-day

> >business meeting.

> >

> >These types of events are triggers for me. I'd like to ask for your help

> >and support so I can attend these events without compromising my weight

> >loss intentions.

> >

> >Carleton - I liked what you said in one of your posts - " It's important

> >to be present and celebrate " . I'll remember this, instead of " It's

> >important to eat everything that's put in front of me. "

> >

> >Thanks.

> >

> >b.

> >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

a

These are really good tips. I know that I have replayed eating disasters plenty

of times. It's time to envision and plan so that I can enjoy the celebration,

eat sensibly, and feel happy with myself afterwards. Looking back, I realize

that I have made mistakes to both extremes. I have eaten until I'm disgustingly

full, and at other times have under-eaten so that I wouldn't look like a hog,

and spent the rest of the evening obsessing about how hungry I was.

 

Thanks for the insight!

 

Marcia

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Tuesday, January 3, 2012 11:36 AM

Subject: Re: Challenges in the Next Couple Weeks

 

This holiday season, I found that doing a prequel before going into the

situation helped. I thought about what I wanted to get out of the day, how I

wanted to present myself, how I wanted to behave around the food, how I could

find safety if I got uncomfortable, how I wanted to feel after the event, how I

wanted to feel tomorrow. I had some ready god success this way.

Psawyer

iowl_good_day wrote:

>

>Hi -

>

>I thought that with the end of the Holiday Season, I could revert to a

>more stable routine, but as I look at my calendar I see several

>restaurant meals and social events in the next 2 weeks - a birthday

>dinner, a wedding, a coworker lunch, a business dinner and an all-day

>business meeting.

>

>These types of events are triggers for me. I'd like to ask for your help

>and support so I can attend these events without compromising my weight

>loss intentions.

>

>Carleton - I liked what you said in one of your posts - " It's important

>to be present and celebrate " . I'll remember this, instead of " It's

>important to eat everything that's put in front of me. "

>

>Thanks.

>

>b.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, All, for the tips - they've made a difference and I discovered that an

issue for me is feeling safe in a group of people!

a - thanks for the idea of a prequel. Especially the point about thinking

ahead about how I could feel safe if I get uncomfortable. That's something I

hadn't thought of or done before, so I will try that.

Amelia - I will also detach from other's eating habits, and focus on my own

hunger and food choices.

Marcia - I've done the same as you - either " Go with the flow " and eat what

others are eating, even if it's not the right choice for me, because that's the

safest thing to do or don't eat at all and then binge when I get home (my " safe "

place).

Thanks, again. You've all been a big help.

b.

>

> >

> >Hi -

> >

> >I thought that with the end of the Holiday Season, I could revert to a

> >more stable routine, but as I look at my calendar I see several

> >restaurant meals and social events in the next 2 weeks - a birthday

> >dinner, a wedding, a coworker lunch, a business dinner and an all-day

> >business meeting.

> >

> >These types of events are triggers for me. I'd like to ask for your help

> >and support so I can attend these events without compromising my weight

> >loss intentions.

> >

> >Carleton - I liked what you said in one of your posts - " It's important

> >to be present and celebrate " . I'll remember this, instead of " It's

> >important to eat everything that's put in front of me. "

> >

> >Thanks.

> >

> >b.

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone -

I wanted to report in on my status with these challenges - this week was the

birthday dinner on Thursday, the rehearsal dinner on Friday and the wedding on

Saturday.

I attended all, was most freaked out about the Thursday event, but attended the

Friday and Saturday events with much less food stress. No appetizers, no

seconds, left some food on the plate when I felt a " ping " of full, and didn't

binge to relieve stress when I got home. That was a big win. I'm tired today,

but have no social plans, so I'm going to drink a lot of water, do some yoga and

take a walk outside to get back in balance and prepare for the week ahead.

Thank you all for your support - I really appreciate it!

Have a Good Day.

b.

> >

> > >

> > >Hi -

> > >

> > >I thought that with the end of the Holiday Season, I could revert to a

> > >more stable routine, but as I look at my calendar I see several

> > >restaurant meals and social events in the next 2 weeks - a birthday

> > >dinner, a wedding, a coworker lunch, a business dinner and an all-day

> > >business meeting.

> > >

> > >These types of events are triggers for me. I'd like to ask for your help

> > >and support so I can attend these events without compromising my weight

> > >loss intentions.

> > >

> > >Carleton - I liked what you said in one of your posts - " It's important

> > >to be present and celebrate " . I'll remember this, instead of " It's

> > >important to eat everything that's put in front of me. "

> > >

> > >Thanks.

> > >

> > >b.

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

B. ,

Sounds like your approach is really great! social environments like parties has

been a trigger I have struggled with as well. I find myself doing fine in the

beginning and really trying to relax and enjoy the company of whoever I am

around, but when I am not part of a group or no one is talking to me I feel kind

of alienated and then the tinge of pain sends me into whatever appetizer is on

the table. A positive is I have managed to stop eating before I am painfully

full which used to be what I did. Any suggestions on how I can further improve?

So glad you had a great week!

-h

> >> >

> >> > >

> >> > >Hi -

> >> > >

> >> > >I thought that with the end of the Holiday Season, I could revert to a

> >> > >more stable routine, but as I look at my calendar I see several

> >> > >restaurant meals and social events in the next 2 weeks - a birthday

> >> > >dinner, a wedding, a coworker lunch, a business dinner and an all-day

> >> > >business meeting.

> >> > >

> >> > >These types of events are triggers for me. I'd like to ask for your help

> >> > >and support so I can attend these events without compromising my weight

> >> > >loss intentions.

> >> > >

> >> > >Carleton - I liked what you said in one of your posts - " It's important

> >> > >to be present and celebrate " . I'll remember this, instead of " It's

> >> > >important to eat everything that's put in front of me. "

> >> > >

> >> > >Thanks.

> >> > >

> >> > >b.

> >> > >

> >> > >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

[Guest guest]

h,

 

It sounds like feeling lonely at a party is your trigger...Would you be able to

seek someone out and initiate a conversation if you are feeling alone and not

part of a group?

  Livingston

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Monday, January 9, 2012 1:10 PM

Subject: Re: Challenges in the Next Couple Weeks

 

B. ,

Sounds like your approach is really great! social environments like parties has

been a trigger I have struggled with as well. I find myself doing fine in the

beginning and really trying to relax and enjoy the company of whoever I am

around, but when I am not part of a group or no one is talking to me I feel kind

of alienated and then the tinge of pain sends me into whatever appetizer is on

the table. A positive is I have managed to stop eating before I am painfully

full which used to be what I did. Any suggestions on how I can further improve?

So glad you had a great week!

-h

> >> >

> >> > >

> >> > >Hi -

> >> > >

> >> > >I thought that with the end of the Holiday Season, I could revert to a

> >> > >more stable routine, but as I look at my calendar I see several

> >> > >restaurant meals and social events in the next 2 weeks - a birthday

> >> > >dinner, a wedding, a coworker lunch, a business dinner and an all-day

> >> > >business meeting.

> >> > >

> >> > >These types of events are triggers for me. I'd like to ask for your help

> >> > >and support so I can attend these events without compromising my weight

> >> > >loss intentions.

> >> > >

> >> > >Carleton - I liked what you said in one of your posts - " It's important

> >> > >to be present and celebrate " . I'll remember this, instead of " It's

> >> > >important to eat everything that's put in front of me. "

> >> > >

> >> > >Thanks.

> >> > >

> >> > >b.

> >> > >

> >> > >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

[Guest guest]

h -

Thanks for asking this question. It caused me to think deeper about what

worked and what didn't.

My first challenge was a birthday dinner with girlfriends. I don't

necessarily overeat during the event, but tend to come home and binge

after the event. What I learned from thinking more about it, to answer

your question, was that this particular group of friends can be Deputy

Downer Drama Queens - and the conversation is almost a competition about

who's got the biggest problems, who's husband has the worst habits, who

has the busiest schedule, yada, yada. So sitting there listening to this

causes me stress. And then when I get home, I eat to relieve the stress.

Which I did. Some of 's podcasts talks about visually putting the

worries of the day behind you or off to the side, or putting them in a

box to forget about them while you listen to the podcast - they will

still be there when you are done. So maybe next time, I will let the

negative conversation float above me and behind me, instead of directly

at me, to deflect some of the stress. also coaches us to recall

the thoughts you have right before an overeating episode. On this day, I

remember thinking, when I got home and started eating, " I just want to

STOP " . It had been a long day - I left the house at 6am and did not get

home until 10pm - with no down time during the day. So, really what I

wanted to do was to rest. And what I did was dive into the pretzels.

That is a good lesson I will remember the next time I'm in a similar

situation.

The next two challenges - a wedding rehearsal dinner and a wedding - I

kept in mind Carlton's comment that " It's important to be present and

celebrate " . and made that my mission. I made an extra effort to look my

best at both events, so I would have the advantage of inner confidence,

and kept the mindset that I was there to love and support the bride and

groom. a made the suggestion to think ahead about how to feel safe

if I got uncomfortable. 's recent podcasts have talked about

creating an inner sanctuary that can be called upon any time. So, I

brought along my mental Snuggy in case I needed it. And, I really

didn't. I didn't feel the need to fill every moment with conversation.

It was OK to take a break from mingling to stand or sit quietly, with a

smile on my face, enjoying the event. I did have a bank of questions /

topics to draw on when I did mingle, to start conversations. I think

everyone else was more concerned about themselves, than me, so I didn't

feel like I was in the spotlight.

Yesterday, I went to lunch with some friends from the office and used

Amelia's tip to check the menu ahead of time. So I went, ordered a

healthy lunch, had a good conversation and no problem.

Hope this helps.

b.

> > >> >

> > >> > >

> > >> > >Hi -

> > >> > >

> > >> > >I thought that with the end of the Holiday Season, I could

revert to a

> > >> > >more stable routine, but as I look at my calendar I see

several

> > >> > >restaurant meals and social events in the next 2 weeks - a

birthday

> > >> > >dinner, a wedding, a coworker lunch, a business dinner and an

all-day

> > >> > >business meeting.

> > >> > >

> > >> > >These types of events are triggers for me. I'd like to ask for

your help

> > >> > >and support so I can attend these events without compromising

my weight

> > >> > >loss intentions.

> > >> > >

> > >> > >Carleton - I liked what you said in one of your posts - " It's

important

> > >> > >to be present and celebrate " . I'll remember this, instead of

" It's

> > >> > >important to eat everything that's put in front of me. "

> > >> > >

> > >> > >Thanks.

> > >> > >

> > >> > >b.

> > >> > >

> > >> > >

> > >> >

> > >> >

> > >> >

> > >> >

[Guest guest]

I just really want to applaud you for taking that good hard look. It

sounds like you really learned a lot about what sets you off and what

triggers you!

> **

>

>

>

> h -

>

> Thanks for asking this question. It caused me to think deeper about what

> worked and what didn't.

>

> My first challenge was a birthday dinner with girlfriends. I don't

> necessarily overeat during the event, but tend to come home and binge

> after the event. What I learned from thinking more about it, to answer

> your question, was that this particular group of friends can be Deputy

> Downer Drama Queens - and the conversation is almost a competition about

> who's got the biggest problems, who's husband has the worst habits, who

> has the busiest schedule, yada, yada. So sitting there listening to this

> causes me stress. And then when I get home, I eat to relieve the stress.

> Which I did. Some of 's podcasts talks about visually putting the

> worries of the day behind you or off to the side, or putting them in a

> box to forget about them while you listen to the podcast - they will

> still be there when you are done. So maybe next time, I will let the

> negative conversation float above me and behind me, instead of directly

> at me, to deflect some of the stress. also coaches us to recall

> the thoughts you have right before an overeating episode. On this day, I

> remember thinking, when I got home and started eating, " I just want to

> STOP " . It had been a long day - I left the house at 6am and did not get

> home until 10pm - with no down time during the day. So, really what I

> wanted to do was to rest. And what I did was dive into the pretzels.

> That is a good lesson I will remember the next time I'm in a similar

> situation.

>

> The next two challenges - a wedding rehearsal dinner and a wedding - I

> kept in mind Carlton's comment that " It's important to be present and

> celebrate " . and made that my mission. I made an extra effort to look my

> best at both events, so I would have the advantage of inner confidence,

> and kept the mindset that I was there to love and support the bride and

> groom. a made the suggestion to think ahead about how to feel safe

> if I got uncomfortable. 's recent podcasts have talked about

> creating an inner sanctuary that can be called upon any time. So, I

> brought along my mental Snuggy in case I needed it. And, I really

> didn't. I didn't feel the need to fill every moment with conversation.

> It was OK to take a break from mingling to stand or sit quietly, with a

> smile on my face, enjoying the event. I did have a bank of questions /

> topics to draw on when I did mingle, to start conversations. I think

> everyone else was more concerned about themselves, than me, so I didn't

> feel like I was in the spotlight.

>

> Yesterday, I went to lunch with some friends from the office and used

> Amelia's tip to check the menu ahead of time. So I went, ordered a

> healthy lunch, had a good conversation and no problem.

>

> Hope this helps.

>

> b.

>

>

> > > >> >

> > > >> > >

> > > >> > >Hi -

> > > >> > >

> > > >> > >I thought that with the end of the Holiday Season, I could

> revert to a

> > > >> > >more stable routine, but as I look at my calendar I see

> several

> > > >> > >restaurant meals and social events in the next 2 weeks - a

> birthday

> > > >> > >dinner, a wedding, a coworker lunch, a business dinner and an

> all-day

> > > >> > >business meeting.

> > > >> > >

> > > >> > >These types of events are triggers for me. I'd like to ask for

> your help

> > > >> > >and support so I can attend these events without compromising

> my weight

> > > >> > >loss intentions.

> > > >> > >

> > > >> > >Carleton - I liked what you said in one of your posts - " It's

> important

> > > >> > >to be present and celebrate " . I'll remember this, instead of

> " It's

> > > >> > >important to eat everything that's put in front of me. "

> > > >> > >

> > > >> > >Thanks.

> > > >> > >

> > > >> > >b.

> > > >> > >

> > > >> > >

> > > >> >

> > > >> >

> > > >> >

> > > >> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks.

I couldn't and wouldn't have done it without all of you here, and I'm grateful

for that.

b.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > >

> > > > >> > >Hi -

> > > > >> > >

> > > > >> > >I thought that with the end of the Holiday Season, I could

> > revert to a

> > > > >> > >more stable routine, but as I look at my calendar I see

> > several

> > > > >> > >restaurant meals and social events in the next 2 weeks - a

> > birthday

> > > > >> > >dinner, a wedding, a coworker lunch, a business dinner and an

> > all-day

> > > > >> > >business meeting.

> > > > >> > >

> > > > >> > >These types of events are triggers for me. I'd like to ask for

> > your help

> > > > >> > >and support so I can attend these events without compromising

> > my weight

> > > > >> > >loss intentions.

> > > > >> > >

> > > > >> > >Carleton - I liked what you said in one of your posts - " It's

> > important

> > > > >> > >to be present and celebrate " . I'll remember this, instead of

> > " It's

> > > > >> > >important to eat everything that's put in front of me. "

> > > > >> > >

> > > > >> > >Thanks.

> > > > >> > >

> > > > >> > >b.

> > > > >> > >

> > > > >> > >

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> >