Re: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

[Guest guest]

You sound like you are doing great. Stay focused on the positive it's the side

of you that needs more strength.

Livingston wrote:

>This is my towards motivation.

> 

>I want to love and accept my body.  I want to feel confident and safe with

others in my body.  I want to feel deserving of food.  I want to trust that my

body knows what it needs and be able to give it that.  I want to set an example

of self acceptance for my daughters.  I want to spend my time building the life

that I want.  I want eating to be free from emotional attachments.  I want to

feel confident that food will energize, nourish and strengthen my body.  I want

my behavior with food to be transparent.  I want to be fee of compulsive

behavior with food.

> 

>Weekly Report.

> 

>The positive this week. I completed all of the work for the first week and have

completed much of the second week as well. I have had a few meals where I chose

to eat an appropriate portion. I have moved my body in many healthy ways. Four

or five beautiful long walks and I lifted weights three times this past

week.  

> 

>My brain appears to have two tracks running at the same time.  One that is

dedicated to healthy living, physical and emotional and a second that seems to

continue to plan and works towards keeping the eating disorder alive and well by

planning how to manage food in a way that I know is unhealthy.

> 

>The negative side.  Eating disordered behavior alive and well represented

every day.  Most of the clothing in my closet does not fit appropriately

and looks ridiculous.  About a year ago I had thrown out all clothing that was

in this size range, vowing I would never, ever do this to myself again.  Now

what?  Should I buy clothing for a weight that I know is inappropriate for my

heigth and unhealthy?  Or would that be giving in and admitting that I am

willing to live at this weight and then if these clothing too no longer fit? 

Hmmmm. 

> 

> 

>

>  Livingston

>

>

[Guest guest]

Nice work It sounds like you are really making progress!

Here's my thoughts on the clothing:

You should get some clothes that fit you properly and that you feel good in

at your current size. It will help you to feel better and to love yourself,

regardless of your current weight. A lot of stores have started having

winter clearance sales so you should be able to get some nice seasonal

clothes right now cheaply. When you shrink out of them, donate them to a

women's shelter or a place that collects nice clothes for women going on

job interviews. You'll feel good wearing them and feel good about sending

them on to new homes!

On Sun, Jan 15, 2012 at 8:42 PM, Livingston

wrote:

> **

>

>

> This is my towards motivation.

>

> I want to love and accept my body. I want to feel confident and safe with

> others in my body. I want to feel deserving of food. I want to trust that

> my body knows what it needs and be able to give it that. I want to set an

> example of self acceptance for my daughters. I want to spend my time

> building the life that I want. I want eating to be free from emotional

> attachments. I want to feel confident that food will energize, nourish and

> strengthen my body. I want my behavior with food to be transparent. I

> want to be fee of compulsive behavior with food.

>

> Weekly Report.

>

> The positive this week. I completed all of the work for the first week and

> have completed much of the second week as well. I have had a few meals

> where I chose to eat an appropriate portion. I have moved my body in many

> healthy ways. Four or five beautiful long walks and I lifted weights three

> times this past week.

>

> My brain appears to have two tracks running at the same time. One that is

> dedicated to healthy living, physical and emotional and a second that seems

> to continue to plan and works towards keeping the eating disorder alive and

> well by planning how to manage food in a way that I know is unhealthy.

>

> The negative side. Eating disordered behavior alive and well represented

> every day. Most of the clothing in my closet does not fit appropriately

> and looks ridiculous. About a year ago I had thrown out all clothing that

> was in this size range, vowing I would never, ever do this to myself

> again. Now what? Should I buy clothing for a weight that I know is

> inappropriate for my heigth and unhealthy? Or would that be giving in and

> admitting that I am willing to live at this weight and then if these

> clothing too no longer fit? Hmmmm.

>

>

>

> Livingston

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree - Good work!

I suggest putting together 2 - 3 outfits that look good on you now, and that you

are comfortable wearing.

You don't need a whole wardrobe. It's OK to rotate through these 2 - 3 outfits

until some of your other clothes fit.

It won't be that long!!

b.

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Sun, January 15, 2012 11:13:18 PM

Subject: Re: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

 

Nice work It sounds like you are really making progress!

Here's my thoughts on the clothing:

You should get some clothes that fit you properly and that you feel good in

at your current size. It will help you to feel better and to love yourself,

regardless of your current weight. A lot of stores have started having

winter clearance sales so you should be able to get some nice seasonal

clothes right now cheaply. When you shrink out of them, donate them to a

women's shelter or a place that collects nice clothes for women going on

job interviews. You'll feel good wearing them and feel good about sending

them on to new homes!

On Sun, Jan 15, 2012 at 8:42 PM, Livingston

wrote:

> **

>

>

> This is my towards motivation.

>

> I want to love and accept my body. I want to feel confident and safe with

> others in my body. I want to feel deserving of food. I want to trust that

> my body knows what it needs and be able to give it that. I want to set an

> example of self acceptance for my daughters. I want to spend my time

> building the life that I want. I want eating to be free from emotional

> attachments. I want to feel confident that food will energize, nourish and

> strengthen my body. I want my behavior with food to be transparent. I

> want to be fee of compulsive behavior with food.

>

> Weekly Report.

>

> The positive this week. I completed all of the work for the first week and

> have completed much of the second week as well. I have had a few meals

> where I chose to eat an appropriate portion. I have moved my body in many

> healthy ways. Four or five beautiful long walks and I lifted weights three

> times this past week.

>

> My brain appears to have two tracks running at the same time. One that is

> dedicated to healthy living, physical and emotional and a second that seems

> to continue to plan and works towards keeping the eating disorder alive and

> well by planning how to manage food in a way that I know is unhealthy.

>

> The negative side. Eating disordered behavior alive and well represented

> every day. Most of the clothing in my closet does not fit appropriately

> and looks ridiculous. About a year ago I had thrown out all clothing that

> was in this size range, vowing I would never, ever do this to myself

> again. Now what? Should I buy clothing for a weight that I know is

> inappropriate for my heigth and unhealthy? Or would that be giving in and

> admitting that I am willing to live at this weight and then if these

> clothing too no longer fit? Hmmmm.

>

>

>

> Livingston

>

>

[Guest guest]

> said:

> Now what?  Should I buy clothing for a weight that I know is

inappropriate for my heigth and unhealthy? 

> Or would that be giving in

and admitting that I am willing to live at this weight and then if these

clothing too no longer fit?

My gentle suggestion would be to buy yourself at least one item that fits well

and feels comfortable. It might now look great--dealing with what we see versus

what others see is a tougher nut to crack, but at least be comfortble without

your clothes binding across the bust or cutting into your waist. If nothing

else, you deserve to be comfortable.

It's so hard to nudge change forward if we feel like crap. I mean, why bother,

right?

One thing I have learned in the last 2+ years of listening, despite still having

a struggle, is to FEEL GOOD NOW. If I can't find some way to help myself feel

good now I get stuck. Change becomes easy, a joy, when I am already feeling

happy and positive. Without that, I lose hope.

[Guest guest]

, You asked if you should buy clothing? Keep in mind that I have only

just now completed Week 1 and am beginning on Week 2. Therefore, my input may

be way off base. Going from my own experience though....I feel better about

myself and am more motivated when I feel comfortable in what I'm wearing. I

also don't do well when my clothes feel skin tight and therefore showing off all

my bulges. In a nutshell, I do better when I feel good about myself and having

clothes that look good, are comfortable and are in colors I like. I also know,

from experience, that I do better when I am in a space where I love and accept

myself whatever size I am. Pushing myself into clothes that are binding is

punishing for me.

Ford CPhT

340B Coordinator

Mercy Sisters of Mercy Health Systems

Pharmacy Services

Springfield, MO. 65804

Ph#

linda.ford@...

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Livingston

Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 10:42 PM

To: insideoutweightloss

Subject: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

This is my towards motivation.

I want to love and accept my body. I want to feel confident and safe with

others in my body. I want to feel deserving of food. I want to trust that my

body knows what it needs and be able to give it that. I want to set an example

of self acceptance for my daughters. I want to spend my time building the life

that I want. I want eating to be free from emotional attachments. I want to

feel confident that food will energize, nourish and strengthen my body. I want

my behavior with food to be transparent. I want to be fee of compulsive

behavior with food.

Weekly Report.

The positive this week. I completed all of the work for the first week and have

completed much of the second week as well. I have had a few meals where I chose

to eat an appropriate portion. I have moved my body in many healthy ways. Four

or five beautiful long walks and I lifted weights three times this past week.

My brain appears to have two tracks running at the same time. One that is

dedicated to healthy living, physical and emotional and a second that seems to

continue to plan and works towards keeping the eating disorder alive and well by

planning how to manage food in a way that I know is unhealthy.

The negative side. Eating disordered behavior alive and well represented every

day. Most of the clothing in my closet does not fit appropriately and looks

ridiculous. About a year ago I had thrown out all clothing that was in this

size range, vowing I would never, ever do this to myself again. Now what?

Should I buy clothing for a weight that I know is inappropriate for my heigth

and unhealthy? Or would that be giving in and admitting that I am willing to

live at this weight and then if these clothing too no longer fit? Hmmmm.

Livingston

[Guest guest]

I forgot to say that your towards motivations were really good, . I am

also finishing up week 1. Here are the ones I came up with this week.

1 want to move towards a life in which I'm healthy, full of energy and

medication free.

I want to move towards treating and loving myself with a joyful, compassionate

and loving heart.

I want to move towards accepting my humanness as a natural and beloved creation

of my beloved creator.

I want to move towards moving freely and effortlessly.

I want to move towards enjoying exercise and making it a priority

I want to move towards feeling comfortable in my own skin.

I want to move towards being an inspiration and service to others.

I want to move towards being a healthy weight.

I want to move towards being free from the bondage of food.

I want to move towards having a nurturing relationship with myself in all areas.

I want to move towards handling my finances in a responsible manner.

I want to move towards purchasing clothes that fit well and look attractive on

my body.

I want to move towards embracing adventure.

I want to move towards physical intimacy.

I want to move towards autographing my best-selling autobiography at and

Noble.

I want to move towards waking up feeling confident and inspired because I know I

did my best the day before.

linda.ford@...

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Livingston

Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 10:42 PM

To: insideoutweightloss

Subject: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

This is my towards motivation.

I want to love and accept my body. I want to feel confident and safe with

others in my body. I want to feel deserving of food. I want to trust that my

body knows what it needs and be able to give it that. I want to set an example

of self acceptance for my daughters. I want to spend my time building the life

that I want. I want eating to be free from emotional attachments. I want to

feel confident that food will energize, nourish and strengthen my body. I want

my behavior with food to be transparent. I want to be fee of compulsive

behavior with food.

Weekly Report.

The positive this week. I completed all of the work for the first week and have

completed much of the second week as well. I have had a few meals where I chose

to eat an appropriate portion. I have moved my body in many healthy ways. Four

or five beautiful long walks and I lifted weights three times this past week.

My brain appears to have two tracks running at the same time. One that is

dedicated to healthy living, physical and emotional and a second that seems to

continue to plan and works towards keeping the eating disorder alive and well by

planning how to manage food in a way that I know is unhealthy.

The negative side. Eating disordered behavior alive and well represented every

day. Most of the clothing in my closet does not fit appropriately and looks

ridiculous. About a year ago I had thrown out all clothing that was in this

size range, vowing I would never, ever do this to myself again. Now what?

Should I buy clothing for a weight that I know is inappropriate for my heigth

and unhealthy? Or would that be giving in and admitting that I am willing to

live at this weight and then if these clothing too no longer fit? Hmmmm.

Livingston

[Guest guest]

I wish I could go shopping with you and help you find something that really

brings out your beauty and doesn't just cover.

IOWLG00dD4y wrote:

>I agree - Good work!

>I suggest putting together 2 - 3 outfits that look good on you now, and that

you

>are comfortable wearing.

>You don't need a whole wardrobe. It's OK to rotate through these 2 - 3 outfits

>until some of your other clothes fit.

>It won't be that long!!

>b.

>

>

>

>

>________________________________

>

>To: insideoutweightloss

>Sent: Sun, January 15, 2012 11:13:18 PM

>Subject: Re: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

>

> 

>Nice work It sounds like you are really making progress!

>

>Here's my thoughts on the clothing:

>

>You should get some clothes that fit you properly and that you feel good in

>at your current size. It will help you to feel better and to love yourself,

>regardless of your current weight. A lot of stores have started having

>winter clearance sales so you should be able to get some nice seasonal

>clothes right now cheaply. When you shrink out of them, donate them to a

>women's shelter or a place that collects nice clothes for women going on

>job interviews. You'll feel good wearing them and feel good about sending

>them on to new homes!

>

>On Sun, Jan 15, 2012 at 8:42 PM, Livingston

>wrote:

>

>> **

>>

>>

>> This is my towards motivation.

>>

>> I want to love and accept my body. I want to feel confident and safe with

>> others in my body. I want to feel deserving of food. I want to trust that

>> my body knows what it needs and be able to give it that. I want to set an

>> example of self acceptance for my daughters. I want to spend my time

>> building the life that I want. I want eating to be free from emotional

>> attachments. I want to feel confident that food will energize, nourish and

>> strengthen my body. I want my behavior with food to be transparent. I

>> want to be fee of compulsive behavior with food.

>>

>> Weekly Report.

>>

>> The positive this week. I completed all of the work for the first week and

>> have completed much of the second week as well. I have had a few meals

>> where I chose to eat an appropriate portion. I have moved my body in many

>> healthy ways. Four or five beautiful long walks and I lifted weights three

>> times this past week.

>>

>> My brain appears to have two tracks running at the same time. One that is

>> dedicated to healthy living, physical and emotional and a second that seems

>> to continue to plan and works towards keeping the eating disorder alive and

>> well by planning how to manage food in a way that I know is unhealthy.

>>

>> The negative side. Eating disordered behavior alive and well represented

>> every day. Most of the clothing in my closet does not fit appropriately

>> and looks ridiculous. About a year ago I had thrown out all clothing that

>> was in this size range, vowing I would never, ever do this to myself

>> again. Now what? Should I buy clothing for a weight that I know is

>> inappropriate for my heigth and unhealthy? Or would that be giving in and

>> admitting that I am willing to live at this weight and then if these

>> clothing too no longer fit? Hmmmm.

>>

>>

>>

>> Livingston

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

Wow, stunning . Print it out, blow it up and post it somewhere in your

house - maube the kitchen. I love the part about the auto biography! Thats

dreaming big, but if you become the inspiration to others while embracing

adventure it's all possible! Invite me to the book signing, I want a copy!

" Ford, S " wrote:

>I forgot to say that your towards motivations were really good, . I am

also finishing up week 1. Here are the ones I came up with this week.

>

>1 want to move towards a life in which I'm healthy, full of energy and

medication free.

>I want to move towards treating and loving myself with a joyful, compassionate

and loving heart.

>I want to move towards accepting my humanness as a natural and beloved creation

of my beloved creator.

>I want to move towards moving freely and effortlessly.

>I want to move towards enjoying exercise and making it a priority

>I want to move towards feeling comfortable in my own skin.

>I want to move towards being an inspiration and service to others.

>I want to move towards being a healthy weight.

>I want to move towards being free from the bondage of food.

>I want to move towards having a nurturing relationship with myself in all

areas.

>I want to move towards handling my finances in a responsible manner.

>I want to move towards purchasing clothes that fit well and look attractive on

my body.

>I want to move towards embracing adventure.

>I want to move towards physical intimacy.

>I want to move towards autographing my best-selling autobiography at and

Noble.

>I want to move towards waking up feeling confident and inspired because I know

I did my best the day before.

>

> linda.ford@...

> " Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

>

>

>From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Livingston

>Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 10:42 PM

>To: insideoutweightloss

>Subject: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

>

>

>

>This is my towards motivation.

>

>I want to love and accept my body. I want to feel confident and safe with

others in my body. I want to feel deserving of food. I want to trust that my

body knows what it needs and be able to give it that. I want to set an example

of self acceptance for my daughters. I want to spend my time building the life

that I want. I want eating to be free from emotional attachments. I want to

feel confident that food will energize, nourish and strengthen my body. I want

my behavior with food to be transparent. I want to be fee of compulsive

behavior with food.

>

>Weekly Report.

>

>The positive this week. I completed all of the work for the first week and have

completed much of the second week as well. I have had a few meals where I chose

to eat an appropriate portion. I have moved my body in many healthy ways. Four

or five beautiful long walks and I lifted weights three times this past week.

>

>My brain appears to have two tracks running at the same time. One that is

dedicated to healthy living, physical and emotional and a second that seems to

continue to plan and works towards keeping the eating disorder alive and well by

planning how to manage food in a way that I know is unhealthy.

>

>The negative side. Eating disordered behavior alive and well represented every

day. Most of the clothing in my closet does not fit appropriately and looks

ridiculous. About a year ago I had thrown out all clothing that was in this

size range, vowing I would never, ever do this to myself again. Now what?

Should I buy clothing for a weight that I know is inappropriate for my heigth

and unhealthy? Or would that be giving in and admitting that I am willing to

live at this weight and then if these clothing too no longer fit? Hmmmm.

>

>

>

> Livingston

>

>

[Guest guest]

Picture me smiling a. ☺ I have done that and of course the “dream

vision†I did this past weekend had me at one time sitting at the book signing

table at and Noble. The other part of it had me in a shiny red sports

car with the sun roof open and my hair blowing in the wind. Not bad for a 59

year old lady. ☺

My dream used to be that I was going to be the book of the month on the Oprah

show. I had a picture of her up looking glad to see me. I could “tasteâ€

it. My life story is one of inspiration and I’ve been told, over and over

again, by many people that I need to write my story and that I’m a

motivational writer. When I look at “why†I haven’t done that yet; there

is this deep seated fear that once I do that; I’ll die. I know. Crazy,

isn’t it. I feel so sure that one of my purposes is to write that story that

once I do it; it will be time to leave.

It also goes along with my food struggles. I don’t know where this came from

but I think if I am thin I won’t have anything left on my body to help me if I

get really, really sick. I don’t know where that comes from. I really

don’t. However, I know it’s a thought I have had. The other thing that I

know I do is to be concerned that I’ll look “older†and/or “sickerâ€

when I release the weight. I think I look younger than I am. I know people (my

sister being one of them) who lost weight and didn’t look good after that.

People might say nice things to their faces but behind their back they’re

talking about how bad they look now. I don’t want that so I believe I

sabotage myself when I begin to release the weight and people start commenting

on the weight release. I have about 80 pounds I’d like to release but would

be ecstatic with 65! I think that would be a really healthy weight for me.

Ford CPhT

340B Coordinator

Mercy Sisters of Mercy Health Systems

Pharmacy Services

Springfield, MO. 65804

Ph#

linda.ford@...

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of a Sawyer

Sent: Monday, January 16, 2012 11:16 AM

To: insideoutweightloss

Subject: RE: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

Wow, stunning . Print it out, blow it up and post it somewhere in your

house - maube the kitchen. I love the part about the auto biography! Thats

dreaming big, but if you become the inspiration to others while embracing

adventure it's all possible! Invite me to the book signing, I want a copy!

" Ford, S " <linda.ford@...<mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net>> wrote:

>I forgot to say that your towards motivations were really good, . I am

also finishing up week 1. Here are the ones I came up with this week.

>

>1 want to move towards a life in which I'm healthy, full of energy and

medication free.

>I want to move towards treating and loving myself with a joyful, compassionate

and loving heart.

>I want to move towards accepting my humanness as a natural and beloved creation

of my beloved creator.

>I want to move towards moving freely and effortlessly.

>I want to move towards enjoying exercise and making it a priority

>I want to move towards feeling comfortable in my own skin.

>I want to move towards being an inspiration and service to others.

>I want to move towards being a healthy weight.

>I want to move towards being free from the bondage of food.

>I want to move towards having a nurturing relationship with myself in all

areas.

>I want to move towards handling my finances in a responsible manner.

>I want to move towards purchasing clothes that fit well and look attractive on

my body.

>I want to move towards embracing adventure.

>I want to move towards physical intimacy.

>I want to move towards autographing my best-selling autobiography at and

Noble.

>I want to move towards waking up feeling confident and inspired because I know

I did my best the day before.

>

>

linda.ford@...<mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net><mailto:linda.ford@...<\

mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net>>

> " Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

>

>

>From:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

[mailto:insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogr\

oups.com>] On Behalf Of Livingston

>Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 10:42 PM

>To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

>Subject: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

>

>

>

>This is my towards motivation.

>

>I want to love and accept my body. I want to feel confident and safe with

others in my body. I want to feel deserving of food. I want to trust that my

body knows what it needs and be able to give it that. I want to set an example

of self acceptance for my daughters. I want to spend my time building the life

that I want. I want eating to be free from emotional attachments. I want to feel

confident that food will energize, nourish and strengthen my body. I want my

behavior with food to be transparent. I want to be fee of compulsive behavior

with food.

>

>Weekly Report.

>

>The positive this week. I completed all of the work for the first week and have

completed much of the second week as well. I have had a few meals where I chose

to eat an appropriate portion. I have moved my body in many healthy ways. Four

or five beautiful long walks and I lifted weights three times this past week.

>

>My brain appears to have two tracks running at the same time. One that is

dedicated to healthy living, physical and emotional and a second that seems to

continue to plan and works towards keeping the eating disorder alive and well by

planning how to manage food in a way that I know is unhealthy.

>

>The negative side. Eating disordered behavior alive and well represented every

day. Most of the clothing in my closet does not fit appropriately and looks

ridiculous. About a year ago I had thrown out all clothing that was in this size

range, vowing I would never, ever do this to myself again. Now what? Should I

buy clothing for a weight that I know is inappropriate for my heigth and

unhealthy? Or would that be giving in and admitting that I am willing to live at

this weight and then if these clothing too no longer fit? Hmmmm.

>

>

>

> Livingston

>

>

[Guest guest]

So put your sites on 65 and then make the decision to go further from there.

" Ford, S " wrote:

>Picture me smiling a. ☺ I have done that and of course the “dream

vision†I did this past weekend had me at one time sitting at the book signing

table at and Noble. The other part of it had me in a shiny red sports

car with the sun roof open and my hair blowing in the wind. Not bad for a 59

year old lady. ☺

>

>My dream used to be that I was going to be the book of the month on the Oprah

show. I had a picture of her up looking glad to see me. I could “tasteâ€

it. My life story is one of inspiration and I’ve been told, over and over

again, by many people that I need to write my story and that I’m a

motivational writer. When I look at “why†I haven’t done that yet; there

is this deep seated fear that once I do that; I’ll die. I know. Crazy,

isn’t it. I feel so sure that one of my purposes is to write that story that

once I do it; it will be time to leave.

>

>It also goes along with my food struggles. I don’t know where this came from

but I think if I am thin I won’t have anything left on my body to help me if I

get really, really sick. I don’t know where that comes from. I really

don’t. However, I know it’s a thought I have had. The other thing that I

know I do is to be concerned that I’ll look “older†and/or “sickerâ€

when I release the weight. I think I look younger than I am. I know people (my

sister being one of them) who lost weight and didn’t look good after that.

People might say nice things to their faces but behind their back they’re

talking about how bad they look now. I don’t want that so I believe I

sabotage myself when I begin to release the weight and people start commenting

on the weight release. I have about 80 pounds I’d like to release but would

be ecstatic with 65! I think that would be a really healthy weight for me.

>

> Ford CPhT

>340B Coordinator

>Mercy Sisters of Mercy Health Systems

>Pharmacy Services

>Springfield, MO. 65804

>Ph#

>linda.ford@...

> " Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

>Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

>

>From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of a Sawyer

>Sent: Monday, January 16, 2012 11:16 AM

>To: insideoutweightloss

>Subject: RE: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

>

>

>

>Wow, stunning . Print it out, blow it up and post it somewhere in your

house - maube the kitchen. I love the part about the auto biography! Thats

dreaming big, but if you become the inspiration to others while embracing

adventure it's all possible! Invite me to the book signing, I want a copy!

>

> " Ford, S " <linda.ford@...<mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net>> wrote:

>

>>I forgot to say that your towards motivations were really good, . I am

also finishing up week 1. Here are the ones I came up with this week.

>>

>>1 want to move towards a life in which I'm healthy, full of energy and

medication free.

>>I want to move towards treating and loving myself with a joyful, compassionate

and loving heart.

>>I want to move towards accepting my humanness as a natural and beloved

creation of my beloved creator.

>>I want to move towards moving freely and effortlessly.

>>I want to move towards enjoying exercise and making it a priority

>>I want to move towards feeling comfortable in my own skin.

>>I want to move towards being an inspiration and service to others.

>>I want to move towards being a healthy weight.

>>I want to move towards being free from the bondage of food.

>>I want to move towards having a nurturing relationship with myself in all

areas.

>>I want to move towards handling my finances in a responsible manner.

>>I want to move towards purchasing clothes that fit well and look attractive on

my body.

>>I want to move towards embracing adventure.

>>I want to move towards physical intimacy.

>>I want to move towards autographing my best-selling autobiography at

and Noble.

>>I want to move towards waking up feeling confident and inspired because I know

I did my best the day before.

>>

>>

linda.ford@...<mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net><mailto:linda.ford@...<\

mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net>>

>> " Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

>>

>>

>>From:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

[mailto:insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogr\

oups.com>] On Behalf Of Livingston

>>Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 10:42 PM

>>To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

>>Subject: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

>>

>>

>>

>>This is my towards motivation.

>>

>>I want to love and accept my body. I want to feel confident and safe with

others in my body. I want to feel deserving of food. I want to trust that my

body knows what it needs and be able to give it that. I want to set an example

of self acceptance for my daughters. I want to spend my time building the life

that I want. I want eating to be free from emotional attachments. I want to feel

confident that food will energize, nourish and strengthen my body. I want my

behavior with food to be transparent. I want to be fee of compulsive behavior

with food.

>>

>>Weekly Report.

>>

>>The positive this week. I completed all of the work for the first week and

have completed much of the second week as well. I have had a few meals where I

chose to eat an appropriate portion. I have moved my body in many healthy ways.

Four or five beautiful long walks and I lifted weights three times this past

week.

>>

>>My brain appears to have two tracks running at the same time. One that is

dedicated to healthy living, physical and emotional and a second that seems to

continue to plan and works towards keeping the eating disorder alive and well by

planning how to manage food in a way that I know is unhealthy.

>>

>>The negative side. Eating disordered behavior alive and well represented every

day. Most of the clothing in my closet does not fit appropriately and looks

ridiculous. About a year ago I had thrown out all clothing that was in this size

range, vowing I would never, ever do this to myself again. Now what? Should I

buy clothing for a weight that I know is inappropriate for my heigth and

unhealthy? Or would that be giving in and admitting that I am willing to live at

this weight and then if these clothing too no longer fit? Hmmmm.

>>

>>

>>

>> Livingston

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

I have seen people who looked worse after losing weight, but I've found

that the common denominator seems to be that they did it in a really

unhealthy way or that they lost too much weight for their body type. My

sister currently weighs 180, which sounds heavy to some people, but she

looks fantastic. She is really active and has an athletic, healthy figure.

If she got down to 150 (the so-called ideal weight for her height), she

would look really unhealthy.

> **

>

>

> Picture me smiling a. ☺ I have done that and of course the “dream

> vision†I did this past weekend had me at one time sitting at the book

> signing table at and Noble. The other part of it had me in a shiny

> red sports car with the sun roof open and my hair blowing in the wind. Not

> bad for a 59 year old lady. ☺

>

> My dream used to be that I was going to be the book of the month on the

> Oprah show. I had a picture of her up looking glad to see me. I could

> “taste†it. My life story is one of inspiration and I’ve been told, over

> and over again, by many people that I need to write my story and that I’m a

> motivational writer. When I look at “why†I haven’t done that yet; there

is

> this deep seated fear that once I do that; I’ll die. I know. Crazy, isn’t

> it. I feel so sure that one of my purposes is to write that story that once

> I do it; it will be time to leave.

>

> It also goes along with my food struggles. I don’t know where this came

> from but I think if I am thin I won’t have anything left on my body to help

> me if I get really, really sick. I don’t know where that comes from. I

> really don’t. However, I know it’s a thought I have had. The other thing

> that I know I do is to be concerned that I’ll look “older†and/or

“sickerâ€

> when I release the weight. I think I look younger than I am. I know people

> (my sister being one of them) who lost weight and didn’t look good after

> that. People might say nice things to their faces but behind their back

> they’re talking about how bad they look now. I don’t want that so I

believe

> I sabotage myself when I begin to release the weight and people start

> commenting on the weight release. I have about 80 pounds I’d like to

> release but would be ecstatic with 65! I think that would be a really

> healthy weight for me.

>

> Ford CPhT

> 340B Coordinator

> Mercy Sisters of Mercy Health Systems

> Pharmacy Services

> Springfield, MO. 65804

> Ph#

> linda.ford@...

> " Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE

> the miracle. "

> Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

>

> From: insideoutweightloss [mailto:

> insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of a Sawyer

> Sent: Monday, January 16, 2012 11:16 AM

> To: insideoutweightloss

> Subject: RE: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

>

>

>

> Wow, stunning . Print it out, blow it up and post it somewhere in

> your house - maube the kitchen. I love the part about the auto biography!

> Thats dreaming big, but if you become the inspiration to others while

> embracing adventure it's all possible! Invite me to the book signing, I

> want a copy!

>

> " Ford, S " <linda.ford@...<mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net>>

> wrote:

>

> >I forgot to say that your towards motivations were really good, .

> I am also finishing up week 1. Here are the ones I came up with this week.

> >

> >1 want to move towards a life in which I'm healthy, full of energy and

> medication free.

> >I want to move towards treating and loving myself with a joyful,

> compassionate and loving heart.

> >I want to move towards accepting my humanness as a natural and beloved

> creation of my beloved creator.

> >I want to move towards moving freely and effortlessly.

> >I want to move towards enjoying exercise and making it a priority

> >I want to move towards feeling comfortable in my own skin.

> >I want to move towards being an inspiration and service to others.

> >I want to move towards being a healthy weight.

> >I want to move towards being free from the bondage of food.

> >I want to move towards having a nurturing relationship with myself in all

> areas.

> >I want to move towards handling my finances in a responsible manner.

> >I want to move towards purchasing clothes that fit well and look

> attractive on my body.

> >I want to move towards embracing adventure.

> >I want to move towards physical intimacy.

> >I want to move towards autographing my best-selling autobiography at

> and Noble.

> >I want to move towards waking up feeling confident and inspired because I

> know I did my best the day before.

> >

> > linda.ford@...<mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net><mailto:

> linda.ford@...<mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net>>

> > " Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to

> BE the miracle. "

> >

> >

> >From: insideoutweightloss <mailto:

> insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com> [mailto:

> insideoutweightloss <mailto:

> insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com>] On Behalf Of Livingston

> >Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 10:42 PM

> >To: insideoutweightloss <mailto:

> insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com>

> >Subject: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

> >

> >

> >

> >This is my towards motivation.

> >

> >I want to love and accept my body. I want to feel confident and safe with

> others in my body. I want to feel deserving of food. I want to trust that

> my body knows what it needs and be able to give it that. I want to set an

> example of self acceptance for my daughters. I want to spend my time

> building the life that I want. I want eating to be free from emotional

> attachments. I want to feel confident that food will energize, nourish and

> strengthen my body. I want my behavior with food to be transparent. I want

> to be fee of compulsive behavior with food.

> >

> >Weekly Report.

> >

> >The positive this week. I completed all of the work for the first week

> and have completed much of the second week as well. I have had a few meals

> where I chose to eat an appropriate portion. I have moved my body in many

> healthy ways. Four or five beautiful long walks and I lifted weights three

> times this past week.

> >

> >My brain appears to have two tracks running at the same time. One that is

> dedicated to healthy living, physical and emotional and a second that seems

> to continue to plan and works towards keeping the eating disorder alive and

> well by planning how to manage food in a way that I know is unhealthy.

> >

> >The negative side. Eating disordered behavior alive and well represented

> every day. Most of the clothing in my closet does not fit appropriately and

> looks ridiculous. About a year ago I had thrown out all clothing that was

> in this size range, vowing I would never, ever do this to myself again. Now

> what? Should I buy clothing for a weight that I know is inappropriate for

> my heigth and unhealthy? Or would that be giving in and admitting that I am

> willing to live at this weight and then if these clothing too no longer

> fit? Hmmmm.

> >

> >

> >

> > Livingston

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the feedback.  I think I will at the very least by a pair of pants

that don't look silly on me and draw attention to the fact that my weight is not

what it once was.  Thanks for the permission! 

  Livingston

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Monday, January 16, 2012 10:46 AM

Subject: Re: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

 

I wish I could go shopping with you and help you find something that really

brings out your beauty and doesn't just cover.

IOWLG00dD4y wrote:

>I agree - Good work!

>I suggest putting together 2 - 3 outfits that look good on you now, and that

you

>are comfortable wearing.

>You don't need a whole wardrobe. It's OK to rotate through these 2 - 3 outfits

>until some of your other clothes fit.

>It won't be that long!!

>b.

>

>

>

>

>________________________________

>

>To: insideoutweightloss

>Sent: Sun, January 15, 2012 11:13:18 PM

>Subject: Re: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

>

> 

>Nice work It sounds like you are really making progress!

>

>Here's my thoughts on the clothing:

>

>You should get some clothes that fit you properly and that you feel good in

>at your current size. It will help you to feel better and to love yourself,

>regardless of your current weight. A lot of stores have started having

>winter clearance sales so you should be able to get some nice seasonal

>clothes right now cheaply. When you shrink out of them, donate them to a

>women's shelter or a place that collects nice clothes for women going on

>job interviews. You'll feel good wearing them and feel good about sending

>them on to new homes!

>

>On Sun, Jan 15, 2012 at 8:42 PM, Livingston

>wrote:

>

>> **

>>

>>

>> This is my towards motivation.

>>

>> I want to love and accept my body. I want to feel confident and safe with

>> others in my body. I want to feel deserving of food. I want to trust that

>> my body knows what it needs and be able to give it that. I want to set an

>> example of self acceptance for my daughters. I want to spend my time

>> building the life that I want. I want eating to be free from emotional

>> attachments. I want to feel confident that food will energize, nourish and

>> strengthen my body. I want my behavior with food to be transparent. I

>> want to be fee of compulsive behavior with food.

>>

>> Weekly Report.

>>

>> The positive this week. I completed all of the work for the first week and

>> have completed much of the second week as well. I have had a few meals

>> where I chose to eat an appropriate portion. I have moved my body in many

>> healthy ways. Four or five beautiful long walks and I lifted weights three

>> times this past week.

>>

>> My brain appears to have two tracks running at the same time. One that is

>> dedicated to healthy living, physical and emotional and a second that seems

>> to continue to plan and works towards keeping the eating disorder alive and

>> well by planning how to manage food in a way that I know is unhealthy.

>>

>> The negative side. Eating disordered behavior alive and well represented

>> every day. Most of the clothing in my closet does not fit appropriately

>> and looks ridiculous. About a year ago I had thrown out all clothing that

>> was in this size range, vowing I would never, ever do this to myself

>> again. Now what? Should I buy clothing for a weight that I know is

>> inappropriate for my heigth and unhealthy? Or would that be giving in and

>> admitting that I am willing to live at this weight and then if these

>> clothing too no longer fit? Hmmmm.

>>

>>

>>

>> Livingston

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

> Now what?  Should I buy clothing for a weight that I know is

inappropriate for my heigth and unhealthy?

> Or would that be giving in

and admitting that I am willing to live at this weight and then if these

clothing too no longer fit?

Hi, . My feeling is that if your BMI is below 20, I'd be hesitant

to buy clothing that fits because yes that is kind of a " permission " to

yourself to maintain a weight that is too low. I think everyone else

assumed you meant being heavier.

By the way, whoever gained weight on interpreting Geneen Roth's books, the

same thing happened to me in my early 20s. Not to the same degree, but I

did end up kind of plump until I realized what was happening. The whole

intuitive eating idea is great if you've never had a tendency to eat when

stressed/tired/depressed/bored/____... but for me, although I am really

able to tell when I'm physically hungry, the " enough " button isn't quite

there.

I was at a good weight for me last November before a bunch of life

stressors happened--and I've stopped gaining but have around 8 pounds to

take back off to get to where I was. So I'm targeting using Full-Filled

plus some self-hypnosis programs and Right Recovery principles to get a

handle on emotional eating... I see the number normalizing on the scale as

a side effect more than the actual goal.

PS whoever mentioned Olestra--it doesn't affect me with those side effects

but what you wrote was hilarious... thank you.

Blessings

Sue

[Guest guest]

Sue,

 

Is it different because I am on the other side of the coin?

 

I look like a clown right now and most of my pants won't stay up at all.  My

hips are gone, my boobs hang low and my butt does not exist.  Not pretty! 

)  I think my weight loss would stick out less if I did not look so

ridiculous but I think my counselor would say the same thing as you.  

 

But, I think I would feel better about myself if I had something that fit. 

  Livingston

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Monday, January 16, 2012 8:59 PM

Subject: Re: Week 1 report, Towards Motivation

 

> Now what?  Should I buy clothing for a weight that I know is

inappropriate for my heigth and unhealthy?

> Or would that be giving in

and admitting that I am willing to live at this weight and then if these

clothing too no longer fit?

Hi, . My feeling is that if your BMI is below 20, I'd be hesitant

to buy clothing that fits because yes that is kind of a " permission " to

yourself to maintain a weight that is too low. I think everyone else

assumed you meant being heavier.

By the way, whoever gained weight on interpreting Geneen Roth's books, the

same thing happened to me in my early 20s. Not to the same degree, but I

did end up kind of plump until I realized what was happening. The whole

intuitive eating idea is great if you've never had a tendency to eat when

stressed/tired/depressed/bored/____... but for me, although I am really

able to tell when I'm physically hungry, the " enough " button isn't quite

there.

I was at a good weight for me last November before a bunch of life

stressors happened--and I've stopped gaining but have around 8 pounds to

take back off to get to where I was. So I'm targeting using Full-Filled

plus some self-hypnosis programs and Right Recovery principles to get a

handle on emotional eating... I see the number normalizing on the scale as

a side effect more than the actual goal.

PS whoever mentioned Olestra--it doesn't affect me with those side effects

but what you wrote was hilarious... thank you.

Blessings

Sue

[Guest guest]

Hi, .

I think the answer is, YES, it does make a difference being on the other

side of the coin.

It may seem unfair, but for those of us who are a little heavy for our

frames, myself included, it has a longterm effect on our health but not

necessarily immediate. I know my blood pressure isn't quite normal--it

seems to have a direct relationship to my size. But I'm probably not going

to have severe cardiac effects immediately from having a blood pressure

that's 130-something over 80-something (whereas when I was at my heaviest

and it was pretty much always 160/100, I did risk stroke, etc.) But it

also needs to be addressed...

I think the mental/emotional aspects of overeating and undereating are

similar, but I think the physical risks once one hits a certain degree of

underweight, which doesn't necessarily have to be at the full diagnostic

criteria for anorexia, can be more significant even though in the longterm,

we are all doing damage to our health... I have a suggestion for you that

is in between buying new clothes and having the current ones slip off of

you, since it obviously doesn't feel good to have clothes dropping off of

you (and it's probably similar to those of us who lose, that being between

sizes when reducing where you don't fit the next size down and the current

size looks like a tent, except worse!). Have a couple outfits taken in, in

such a way that the waists stay on you at the moment, but some remaining

bagginess reminds you that you're not where you need to be.

Would that work for you?

Blessings

Sue