Finished Chapter 3 but still can't get a grip...

[Guest guest]

It's the end of January and I hoped to have gotten a better handle on my eating

and mind issues by now. I continue to overeat almost daily at dinner (and

snacking prior) to the point of discomfort. I am still drinking too much

alcohol which is my main problem and if I cut down that would surely help

greatly. I don't sleep well because of overeating at dinner and I beat myself

up during the night. It's so much easier to be positive and change my self-talk

during the day. At night my brain " takes me away " to a NOT so good a place.

I am surrounded by everything positive in the things I have control over (i.e.

Facebook feeds, email newsletters and friends). I rarely watch the TV news so

that I am not surrounded by gloom and doom. I can handle the negative thoughts

and disgust (which yes, I do work to get out of my mind and replace it with

positive upbeat thoughts) when I am muddling around in my normal boring

mid-winter world here in the Midwest. I can toss on sweat clothes and my winter

coat and only look at my face (vs all of me) in the mirror where I try to tell

myself " I Love You " .. and try to mean it.

I am reading several books now besides the Full-Filled Book. The concepts are

the same.. plus a book on changing limiting beliefs in general.

I still can't understand why I allowed my exercise habit to disintegrate after a

month of making it a habit, but I did. Even when I started the Full-Filled

Class and when I started my own local support group - I am feeling hopeless.

I have made it my mission to help others conquer this, so why can't I just get a

grip? Are my fears so deep rooted?

So, the point of this is I am leaving for a Caribbean cruise in 6 days. I want

to feel mentally *good*, not bad. Putting aside that I'll be huffing and

puffing while keeping up with my friends, that my back, feet and knees will hurt

when we walk around, that I'll have to take the elevator instead of the stairs,

that I have to deal with me in a bathing suit and in clothes that don't fit

quite right, the fact that I had to buy an airplane seat belt extender…and more…

I can live with those things if my *head* was in the right place. I am not even

looking forward to my trip very much.. I'll probably have a ball when I am

drinking and can *escape* but otherwise I'll probably be self-conscious or in

pain..

Thanks for reading.

[Guest guest]

I was waiting to respond until I had the perfect response. But it has not come

and your post is in my head and i wish i had real wisdom to share. But i dont.

So i guess all I want to say is you deserve to have fun on your vacation and

enjoy your friends. You get to enjoy life even if you have not lost weight.

you get to enjoy the cool water as you swim. You are not your body. I say buy

a few things that fit comfortably and dive into the vacation with as much energy

and anticipation as you can. You deserve that.

Finished Chapter 3 but still can't get a grip...

It's the end of January and I hoped to have gotten a better handle on my eating

and mind issues by now. I continue to overeat almost daily at dinner (and

snacking prior) to the point of discomfort. I am still drinking too much

alcohol which is my main problem and if I cut down that would surely help

greatly. I don't sleep well because of overeating at dinner and I beat myself

up during the night. It's so much easier to be positive and change my self-talk

during the day. At night my brain " takes me away " to a NOT so good a place.

I am surrounded by everything positive in the things I have control over (i.e.

Facebook feeds, email newsletters and friends). I rarely watch the TV news so

that I am not surrounded by gloom and doom. I can handle the negative thoughts

and disgust (which yes, I do work to get out of my mind and replace it with

positive upbeat thoughts) when I am muddling around in my normal boring

mid-winter world here in the Midwest. I can toss on sweat clothes and my winter

coat and only

[Guest guest]

Your post sounds so sad, it really touched my heart. I am not overweight at

this point in my life, but I struggle with binge eating. I too eat until I am

physically sick. You described your self with a lot of disgust, and that truly

makes me sad. I think you are brave for going on the cruise in the first

place!! Perhaps you were talked into going? Maybe you didn't really want to

go. It doesn't sound as if you want to do the activities your friends are

interested in? Please do not be upset at my response, I am in no way judging

you. I merely see myself reflected in your post, I swear I could have written

it myself. Perhaps these are your objections that the book talks about? Try

not to let your self get railroaded into things you don't want to do. If you

just sit quietly on the beach and enjoy your surroundings you may surprise

yourself! I wish you the very best of luck!!

>

> It's the end of January and I hoped to have gotten a better handle on my

eating and mind issues by now. I continue to overeat almost daily at dinner

(and snacking prior) to the point of discomfort. I am still drinking too much

alcohol which is my main problem and if I cut down that would surely help

greatly. I don't sleep well because of overeating at dinner and I beat myself

up during the night. It's so much easier to be positive and change my self-talk

during the day. At night my brain " takes me away " to a NOT so good a place.

>

> I am surrounded by everything positive in the things I have control over (i.e.

Facebook feeds, email newsletters and friends). I rarely watch the TV news so

that I am not surrounded by gloom and doom. I can handle the negative thoughts

and disgust (which yes, I do work to get out of my mind and replace it with

positive upbeat thoughts) when I am muddling around in my normal boring

mid-winter world here in the Midwest. I can toss on sweat clothes and my winter

coat and only look at my face (vs all of me) in the mirror where I try to tell

myself " I Love You " .. and try to mean it.

>

> I am reading several books now besides the Full-Filled Book. The concepts

are the same.. plus a book on changing limiting beliefs in general.

>

> I still can't understand why I allowed my exercise habit to disintegrate after

a month of making it a habit, but I did. Even when I started the Full-Filled

Class and when I started my own local support group - I am feeling hopeless.

I have made it my mission to help others conquer this, so why can't I just get a

grip? Are my fears so deep rooted?

>

> So, the point of this is I am leaving for a Caribbean cruise in 6 days. I

want to feel mentally *good*, not bad. Putting aside that I'll be huffing and

puffing while keeping up with my friends, that my back, feet and knees will hurt

when we walk around, that I'll have to take the elevator instead of the stairs,

that I have to deal with me in a bathing suit and in clothes that don't fit

quite right, the fact that I had to buy an airplane seat belt extender…and more…

I can live with those things if my *head* was in the right place. I am not even

looking forward to my trip very much.. I'll probably have a ball when I am

drinking and can *escape* but otherwise I'll probably be self-conscious or in

pain..

>

> Thanks for reading.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

i " m reminded of 's words - " there is no failure, only feedback. " It

sounds like to me that you've made some wonderful progress - that you are

only overeating at dinner. How has your DIF changed? (duration, intensity

and frequency?) I think that is great! No more overeating at your other two

meals! Sweet!

And it sounds like you have some great " away from " motivators (be able to

use stairs, not use an extension (me too!), look good in a bathing suit,

etc.). When I find myself slipping up - I go back to these motivations and

it helps me resolve again. Sometimes I add in more. My list is quite long,

lol.

Our brains can play tricks on us and get us back to the place of being

comfortable - the work suggests is really hard. She says it's the

easiest diet ever and in some ways she's right, but it's also the diet that

takes the most courage. I found myself slipping yesterday (cravings

started) and realized I was in a trigger situation. I had to sit with that

this morning and I kept coming back to the same old stuff (all my

" shoulds " ). I'm psyched tho that I rooted it out. Now I can rest a bit

easier in that situation. What is it about dinner that seems to trigger

you, do you think?

I hope you have a fabulous time on your Cruise! I'm in the midwest too and

the snow is actually starting to get to this snow-lover. :-)

Hang in there, Judy! We're rooting for you!

Sian

On Sun, Jan 29, 2012 at 12:53 AM, Livingston

wrote:

> **

>

>

> I was waiting to respond until I had the perfect response. But it has not

> come and your post is in my head and i wish i had real wisdom to share. But

> i dont. So i guess all I want to say is you deserve to have fun on your

> vacation and enjoy your friends. You get to enjoy life even if you have not

> lost weight. you get to enjoy the cool water as you swim. You are not your

> body. I say buy a few things that fit comfortably and dive into the

> vacation with as much energy and anticipation as you can. You deserve that.

>

> Finished Chapter 3 but still can't get a

> grip...

>

> It's the end of January and I hoped to have gotten a better handle on my

> eating and mind issues by now. I continue to overeat almost daily at dinner

> (and snacking prior) to the point of discomfort. I am still drinking too

> much alcohol which is my main problem and if I cut down that would surely

> help greatly. I don't sleep well because of overeating at dinner and I beat

> myself up during the night. It's so much easier to be positive and change

> my self-talk during the day. At night my brain " takes me away " to a NOT so

> good a place.

>

> I am surrounded by everything positive in the things I have control over

> (i.e. Facebook feeds, email newsletters and friends). I rarely watch the TV

> news so that I am not surrounded by gloom and doom. I can handle the

> negative thoughts and disgust (which yes, I do work to get out of my mind

> and replace it with positive upbeat thoughts) when I am muddling around in

> my normal boring mid-winter world here in the Midwest. I can toss on sweat

> clothes and my winter coat and only

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Judy - One of my trigger times is after dinner, also and it has the

same effect on me - I don't sleep well, have negative thoughts and my

tomorrow gets off to a bad start.

's podcasts tells us to do a Re-do and a Pre-do after and before an

eating episode or an upcoming event to change the behavior. Have you

tried these practices? Think about how you want to feel during the night

and associate the restful feeling that you want with the desired

behavior of eating and drinking appropriate amounts after dinner.

Do the same with your upcoming vacation. Think about how you want to

feel after vacation. Do you want to feel rejuvanated and inspired by the

new things you've seen, the places you've gone and the people you talked

to? Or do you want to feel irritated with yourself for once again giving

in and giving up with your struggle with food? Forgive yourself for

where you are in your weight loss journey. You tried to be at this point

and not need a seat belt extender, but it didn't happen. It's OK. You

still deserve to have a good time on your vacation with your friends!

b.

> >

> > It's the end of January and I hoped to have gotten a better handle

on my eating and mind issues by now. I continue to overeat almost daily

at dinner (and snacking prior) to the point of discomfort. I am still

drinking too much alcohol which is my main problem and if I cut down

that would surely help greatly. I don't sleep well because of overeating

at dinner and I beat myself up during the night. It's so much easier to

be positive and change my self-talk during the day. At night my brain

" takes me away " to a NOT so good a place.

> >

> > I am surrounded by everything positive in the things I have control

over (i.e. Facebook feeds, email newsletters and friends). I rarely

watch the TV news so that I am not surrounded by gloom and doom. I can

handle the negative thoughts and disgust (which yes, I do work to get

out of my mind and replace it with positive upbeat thoughts) when I am

muddling around in my normal boring mid-winter world here in the

Midwest. I can toss on sweat clothes and my winter coat and only look at

my face (vs all of me) in the mirror where I try to tell myself " I Love

You " .. and try to mean it.

> >

> > I am reading several books now besides the Full-Filled Book. The

concepts are the same.. plus a book on changing limiting beliefs in

general.

> >

> > I still can't understand why I allowed my exercise habit to

disintegrate after a month of making it a habit, but I did. Even when I

started the Full-Filled Class and when I started my own local support

group - I am feeling hopeless. I have made it my mission to help others

conquer this, so why can't I just get a grip? Are my fears so deep

rooted?

> >

> > So, the point of this is I am leaving for a Caribbean cruise in 6

days. I want to feel mentally *good*, not bad. Putting aside that I'll

be huffing and puffing while keeping up with my friends, that my back,

feet and knees will hurt when we walk around, that I'll have to take the

elevator instead of the stairs, that I have to deal with me in a bathing

suit and in clothes that don't fit quite right, the fact that I had to

buy an airplane seat belt extender…and more… I can live with

those things if my *head* was in the right place. I am not even looking

forward to my trip very much.. I'll probably have a ball when I am

drinking and can *escape* but otherwise I'll probably be self-conscious

or in pain..

> >

> > Thanks for reading.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks to everyone for their support and great ideas. I so much appreciate it.

You know, I thought I was doing a great job doing the written homework, but I

didn't do the tough stuff like the redo or predo. I find visualization so-o-o

difficult so I guess I am avoiding that part. And, that is the most important

part! I will do it this week before the cruise.. And, as I read in another book

that is similar, I am going to pick two habits that I want to change this week.

Stated in the positive: I enjoy waiting for my dinner so that I am really

hungry when I eat it! I enjoy spending at least 30 minutes each day doing some

type of physical activity.

I love cruising and it was me who rallied up some new friends to go with me this

year. I love taking winter vacations! Each year I am a bit heavier and a bit

more disgusted. I always plan the vacations well in advance because that will

give me plenty of time to get healthier. Oh well! Wait til next year! You

Cubs fans know what that means!! hehe

As for this year, I will go on my vacation and have a fabulous time because I do

indeed deserve it for many reasons…some of which I have mentioned here in past

posts. I will take the physical difficulties in stride and enjoy each minute

because I am THERE – in the Caribbean with soul sister girlfriends – who are

with me on my journey to health and to get rid of the head trash I am carting

around… and I am so grateful and fortunate to be able to be there!

delcollejanice, you really helped me by saying that it all sounded so sad.

Geez, that kind of just made me jump out of my " stuck " world, because the last

thing I want to sound like is sad. I sounded pathetic! But, that what was I was

thinking yesterday afternoon as I was trying to take a nap… and I somehow knew

that if I shared it here I'd get good advice. And, I thank you all for it!

I really am making it a mission to be happy and joyful and spread that to

others – no matter what we weigh! You are all right, I am being way too hard

on myself and there ARE plenty of things I am doing well. Success amnesia

' calls it. I really, really want to write in my IOWL journal daily

about what I did right and wrong, and what I am grateful for, because that will

go a long way when I want to look back when I am having another " bad " episode.

I WILL do that as of today!

Hugs and kisses to you all!!!

P.S. Carlton, so sorry for all that you are going through with your family and

here's a cyber ((hug)). You may want to start a new topic since it is possible

the group won't see your topic buried within this thread.

Judy

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the hug Judy.

You go girl and have that fabulous time! You do deserve it and who knows what

will come from this time away? You have new ideas and new perspectives and if

you let them, they can do a lot more change than you expect.

 

Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

Freelance Musician

426 Pinehouse Drive

Saskatoon Sk

S7K4X5

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Sunday, January 29, 2012 8:56:38 AM

Subject: Re: Finished Chapter 3 but still can't get a

grip...

 

Thanks to everyone for their support and great ideas. I so much appreciate it.

You know, I thought I was doing a great job doing the written homework, but I

didn't do the tough stuff like the redo or predo. I find visualization so-o-o

difficult so I guess I am avoiding that part. And, that is the most important

part! I will do it this week before the cruise.. And, as I read in another book

that is similar, I am going to pick two habits that I want to change this week.

Stated in the positive: I enjoy waiting for my dinner so that I am really

hungry when I eat it! I enjoy spending at least 30 minutes each day doing some

type of physical activity.

I love cruising and it was me who rallied up some new friends to go with me this

year. I love taking winter vacations! Each year I am a bit heavier and a bit

more disgusted. I always plan the vacations well in advance because that will

give me plenty of time to get healthier. Oh well! Wait til next year! You

Cubs fans know what that means!! hehe

As for this year, I will go on my vacation and have a fabulous time because I do

indeed deserve it for many reasons…some of which I have mentioned here in past

posts. I will take the physical difficulties in stride and enjoy each minute

because I am THERE – in the Caribbean with soul sister girlfriends – who are

with me on my journey to health and to get rid of the head trash I am carting

around… and I am so grateful and fortunate to be able to be there!

delcollejanice, you really helped me by saying that it all sounded so sad.

Geez, that kind of just made me jump out of my " stuck " world, because the last

thing I want to sound like is sad. I sounded pathetic! But, that what was I was

thinking yesterday afternoon as I was trying to take a nap… and I somehow knew

that if I shared it here I'd get good advice. And, I thank you all for it!

I really am making it a mission to be happy and joyful and spread that to others

– no matter what we weigh! You are all right, I am being way too hard on

myself and there ARE plenty of things I am doing well. Success amnesia '

calls it. I really, really want to write in my IOWL journal daily about what

I did right and wrong, and what I am grateful for, because that will go a long

way when I want to look back when I am having another " bad " episode. I WILL do

that as of today!

Hugs and kisses to you all!!!

P.S. Carlton, so sorry for all that you are going through with your family and

here's a cyber ((hug)). You may want to start a new topic since it is possible

the group won't see your topic buried within this thread.

Judy

[Guest guest]

I followed up on your post to see how you were doing and I am so glad that you

sound sooooo much better now!! For the record you never sounded pathetic, just

utterly sad!!

Go and enjoy your wonderful holiday!! You DO deserve it. While you are there

take a good hard look at the people around you!! I can guarantee that not one

of them is " perfect " . Notice the people who are truly living it up and enjoying

their lives!! How many of them are model thin and perfect looking? Not too many

I would be willing to bet!!

And last but not least why is it we feel we have to be so mean to ourselves? We

would never treat someone else the way we think we ought to treat ourselves!!

>

> Thanks for the hug Judy.

>

> You go girl and have that fabulous time! You do deserve it and who knows what

will come from this time away? You have new ideas and new perspectives and if

you let them, they can do a lot more change than you expect.

>

>

>

>  

> Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

> Freelance Musician

> 426 Pinehouse Drive

> Saskatoon Sk

> S7K4X5

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: insideoutweightloss

> Sent: Sunday, January 29, 2012 8:56:38 AM

> Subject: Re: Finished Chapter 3 but still can't get a

grip...

>

>

>  

> Thanks to everyone for their support and great ideas. I so much appreciate

it. You know, I thought I was doing a great job doing the written homework, but

I didn't do the tough stuff like the redo or predo. I find visualization so-o-o

difficult so I guess I am avoiding that part. And, that is the most important

part! I will do it this week before the cruise.. And, as I read in another book

that is similar, I am going to pick two habits that I want to change this week.

Stated in the positive: I enjoy waiting for my dinner so that I am really

hungry when I eat it! I enjoy spending at least 30 minutes each day doing some

type of physical activity.

>

> I love cruising and it was me who rallied up some new friends to go with me

this year. I love taking winter vacations! Each year I am a bit heavier and a

bit more disgusted. I always plan the vacations well in advance because that

will give me plenty of time to get healthier. Oh well! Wait til next year!

You Cubs fans know what that means!! hehe

>

> As for this year, I will go on my vacation and have a fabulous time because I

do indeed deserve it for many reasons…some of which I have mentioned here in

past posts. I will take the physical difficulties in stride and enjoy each

minute because I am THERE †" in the Caribbean with soul sister girlfriends †"

who are with me on my journey to health and to get rid of the head trash I am

carting around… and I am so grateful and fortunate to be able to be there!

>

> delcollejanice, you really helped me by saying that it all sounded so sad.

Geez, that kind of just made me jump out of my " stuck " world, because the last

thing I want to sound like is sad. I sounded pathetic! But, that what was I was

thinking yesterday afternoon as I was trying to take a nap… and I somehow knew

that if I shared it here I'd get good advice. And, I thank you all for it!

>

> I really am making it a mission to be happy and joyful and spread that to

others †" no matter what we weigh! You are all right, I am being way too hard

on myself and there ARE plenty of things I am doing well. Success amnesia

' calls it. I really, really want to write in my IOWL journal daily

about what I did right and wrong, and what I am grateful for, because that will

go a long way when I want to look back when I am having another " bad " episode.

I WILL do that as of today!

>

> Hugs and kisses to you all!!!

>

> P.S. Carlton, so sorry for all that you are going through with your family

and here's a cyber ((hug)). You may want to start a new topic since it is

possible the group won't see your topic buried within this thread.

>

> Judy

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

This makes me think of the song by Pink, " Perfect " --

http://www.metrolyrics.com/perfect-lyrics-pink.html

This is one I always sing to on the radio and it affects me every single

time.

On Sun, Jan 29, 2012 at 5:28 PM, delcollejanice

wrote:

> **

>

>

> I followed up on your post to see how you were doing and I am so glad that

> you sound sooooo much better now!! For the record you never sounded

> pathetic, just utterly sad!!

> Go and enjoy your wonderful holiday!! You DO deserve it. While you are

> there take a good hard look at the people around you!! I can guarantee that

> not one of them is " perfect " . Notice the people who are truly living it up

> and enjoying their lives!! How many of them are model thin and perfect

> looking? Not too many I would be willing to bet!!

> And last but not least why is it we feel we have to be so mean to

> ourselves? We would never treat someone else the way we think we ought to

> treat ourselves!!

>

>

>

> >

> > Thanks for the hug Judy.

> >

> > You go girl and have that fabulous time! You do deserve it and who knows

> what will come from this time away? You have new ideas and new perspectives

> and if you let them, they can do a lot more change than you expect.

> >

> >

> >

> > Â

>

> > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

> > Freelance Musician

> > 426 Pinehouse Drive

> > Saskatoon Sk

> > S7K4X5

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> >

>

> > To: insideoutweightloss

> > Sent: Sunday, January 29, 2012 8:56:38 AM

> > Subject: Re: Finished Chapter 3 but still can't

> get a grip...

> >

> >

> > Â

> > Thanks to everyone for their support and great ideas. I so much

> appreciate it. You know, I thought I was doing a great job doing the

> written homework, but I didn't do the tough stuff like the redo or predo. I

> find visualization so-o-o difficult so I guess I am avoiding that part.

> And, that is the most important part! I will do it this week before the

> cruise.. And, as I read in another book that is similar, I am going to pick

> two habits that I want to change this week. Stated in the positive: I enjoy

> waiting for my dinner so that I am really hungry when I eat it! I enjoy

> spending at least 30 minutes each day doing some type of physical activity.

> >

> > I love cruising and it was me who rallied up some new friends to go with

> me this year. I love taking winter vacations! Each year I am a bit heavier

> and a bit more disgusted. I always plan the vacations well in advance

> because that will give me plenty of time to get healthier. Oh well! Wait

> til next year! You Cubs fans know what that means!! hehe

> >

> > As for this year, I will go on my vacation and have a fabulous time

> because I do indeed deserve it for many reasons…some of which I have

> mentioned here in past posts. I will take the physical difficulties in

> stride and enjoy each minute because I am THERE †" in the Caribbean with

> soul sister girlfriends †" who are with me on my journey to health and to

> get rid of the head trash I am carting around… and I am so grateful and

> fortunate to be able to be there!

> >

> > delcollejanice, you really helped me by saying that it all sounded so

> sad. Geez, that kind of just made me jump out of my " stuck " world, because

> the last thing I want to sound like is sad. I sounded pathetic! But, that

> what was I was thinking yesterday afternoon as I was trying to take a

> nap… and I somehow knew that if I shared it here I'd get good advice.

> And, I thank you all for it!

> >

> > I really am making it a mission to be happy and joyful and spread that

> to others †" no matter what we weigh! You are all right, I am being way

> too hard on myself and there ARE plenty of things I am doing well. Success

> amnesia ' calls it. I really, really want to write in my IOWL journal

> daily about what I did right and wrong, and what I am grateful for, because

> that will go a long way when I want to look back when I am having another

> " bad " episode. I WILL do that as of today!

>

> >

> > Hugs and kisses to you all!!!

> >

> > P.S. Carlton, so sorry for all that you are going through with your

> family and here's a cyber ((hug)). You may want to start a new topic since

> it is possible the group won't see your topic buried within this thread.

> >

> > Judy

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >