Guest guest Posted January 29, 2012 Report Share Posted January 29, 2012 I hope things get easier for you Carlton. It sounds you have an excellent plan in place. > ** > > > Carlton - > Wishing you and your family a peaceful day. > b. > > > > > > > Hi. > > > > Nobody here slept much last night. Personally I went to sleep about > 12:30 I think and was rousted out a 4:30 or so. BIG BIG fight between my > wife and my oldest son. I am not going to explain it here in detail because > you don't want the Russian novel it would turn into. I will try to give you > a summary of the Reader's Digest version. I am writing here and to my 12 > step support group because frankly I need all the help and positive thought > and if you like, prayers, I can get. > > > > What is the problem? > > My son and my wife are at a total logjam over his constant and > apparently uncontrollable need to talk to a certain person at all hours of > the day and night. My son is convinced this fellow is his friend. He > refuses to switch off his phone at night and gives him large sums of money > when he owes it elsewhere. My wife and I see what our son has done and how > he as begun acting since hanging around with this guy. My wife does not > feel safe with him in the house and can not sleep with him here. I do not > think she slept at all last night. > > > > > > What is the positive intent of these two people, whom I both love? > > They both want him to be independent, to be healthy, and to be happy. > They each want to be safe in their home and to be able to be themselves. > > > > > > What is my positive intent? > > I want my son to be able to choose healthy friendships and to be his > generous, kind, loving, hard-working, smart, talented, handsome, energetic > self. I want him to grow up to be the good man I know he is inside. > > I want my wife to feel safe in our home. I want her to not have to worry > about our son. > > I want to be able to sleep at night. I want to be able to continue my > work so I can pay our bills. > > > > I would like to have less friction and less threat in the house. > > > > I feel the real need to protect my wife and my kids. I want to protect > my son as much as I can for a 21 year old almost turning 22. > > > > > > What will I do today? > > This must be accomplished by getting him out of this house today so we > can all rest tonight. I can not stop her worries. They are hers and I can > not take them away. I can provide a safe place to the best of my ability. I > have to help them get separate from each other so the fighting stops. > > > > Ok; I just about hit send, but then realized I had not said anything > about what I would do for me. > > > > What will I do for myself? > > Obviously I will seek support. This is the first step. I will also phone > a friend today. I commit to that. I will finish reading this pamphlet > titled " Help! My Adult Child Won't Leave Home. " I will do my best to find a > half hour today to meditate and sit with this. I will read some spiritual > material and some 12 step materaial, even if it is only 5 minutes of each. > I will listen to a podcast of scripture. I will endeavor to go for a walk, > hopefully with my wife, for my physical well-being. I will eat healthy > food, will drink Earl Grey tea, perhaps with milk, but with no sugar for a > change. I will snack on the roasted almonds I love. I will keep asking for > hugs where I have any chance of getting one. > > > > > > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > > Freelance Musician > > 426 Pinehouse Drive > > Saskatoon Sk > > S7K4X5 > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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