Re: Interesting night

[Guest guest]

Carlton -

Wishing you and your family a peaceful day.

b.

>

> Hi.

>

> Nobody here slept much last night. Personally I went to sleep about 12:30 I

think and was rousted out a 4:30 or so. BIG BIG fight between my wife and my

oldest son. I am not going to explain it here in detail because you don't want

the Russian novel it would turn into. I will try to give you a summary of the

Reader's Digest version. I am writing here and to my 12 step support group

because frankly I need all the help and positive thought and if you like,

prayers, I can get.

>

> What is the problem?

> My son and my wife are at a total logjam over his constant and apparently

uncontrollable need to talk to a certain person at all hours of the day and

night. My son is convinced this fellow is his friend. He refuses to switch off

his phone at night and gives him large sums of money when he owes it elsewhere.

My wife and I see what our son has done and how he as begun acting since hanging

around with this guy. My wife does not feel safe with him in the house and can

not sleep with him here. I do not think she slept at all last night.

>

>

> What is the positive intent of these two people, whom I both love?

> They both want him to be independent, to be healthy, and to be happy. They

each want to be safe in their home and to be able to be themselves.

>

>

> What is my positive intent?

> I want my son to be able to choose healthy friendships and to be his generous,

kind, loving, hard-working, smart, talented, handsome, energetic self. I want

him to grow up to be the good man I know he is inside.

> I want my wife to feel safe in our home. I want her to not have to worry about

our son. 

> I want to be able to sleep at night. I want to be able to continue my work so

I can pay our bills.

>

> I would like to have less friction and less threat in the house.

>

> I feel the real need to protect my wife and my kids. I want to protect my son

as much as I can for a 21 year old almost turning 22.

>

>

> What will I do today?

> This must be accomplished by getting him out of this house today so we can all

rest tonight. I can not stop her worries. They are hers and I can not take them

away. I can provide a safe place to the best of my ability. I have to help them

get separate from each other so the fighting stops. 

>

> Ok; I just about hit send, but then realized I had not said anything about

what I would do for me. 

>

> What will I do for myself?

> Obviously I will seek support. This is the first step. I will also phone a

friend today. I commit to that. I will finish reading this pamphlet titled

" Help! My Adult Child Won't Leave Home. " I will do my best to find a half hour

today to meditate and sit with this. I will read some spiritual material and

some 12 step materaial, even if it is only 5 minutes of each. I will listen to a

podcast of scripture. I will endeavor to go for a walk, hopefully with my wife,

for my physical well-being. I will eat healthy food, will drink Earl Grey tea,

perhaps with milk, but with no sugar for a change. I will snack on the roasted

almonds I love. I will keep asking for hugs where I have any chance of getting

one.

>

>

>  

> Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

> Freelance Musician

> 426 Pinehouse Drive

> Saskatoon Sk

> S7K4X5

>

>

>