A New Away From Motivation

[Guest guest]

I've realized that I get stuck in my routine and don't realize what the

lack of movement and the overeating does to me. I make small adjustments

here and there.... I take breaks more when doing things around the house.

I take elevators more often. I park a little closer at the grocery store.

I don't need to walk much at my office. I take the elevator. I hadn't

realized how out of shape I had gotten. Until yesterday. Walking through

the airport. By the time I got from the shuttle, through security, to the

gate, I was out of breath and sweating. And it wasn't that far! But

lugging by suitcases.... even with rollers.... just killed me. Same thing

when I got to my destination. Walked from the gate to the car rental

desk. I think they thought I was going to drop of a heartache. I was a

mess.

The good news is, I fit in the seat comfortably. When I was at my

heaviest, it wasn't very comfortable. I was squished in the seat. But

when I was at my smallest... even a year ago, I could walk through the

airport without breathing heard!!!

Today I went to the office I'm working with this week. I was out of breath

walking from one end to the other. And I was faced with stairs. I

couldn't very well say " I don't do stairs " . So I did and tried not to show

how hard I was breathing when we got to the top.

So, today I resolved.... I am determined..... to stop this from happening!

Add this to my Away From: Stop getting out of breath so quickly. Add this

to my Toward Motivation: I want to be able to walk through an airport and

not feel like dying when I'm done. I want to be able to walk up two

flights of stairs without breaking a sweat. (three would be nice, but let's

not push it).

So, I'm feeling like crap.... I'm embarrassed..... and really fed up with

myself. But determined to get better. Good right? My husband called. He

just got laid off. I'm away from home..... so many questions.... so many

" what ifs " ..... so many unkowns..... and I'm not there. That would usually

send me to the nearest grocery store and load up on junk food and binge

until I got sick. Well, I did go to a grocery store. God put the salad

bar in my path. It looked good. So, I got a salad. (I also got some

chocolate... oh well). And I forgot a fork, so I'm eating the salad with

my fingers. Which actually works pretty well. I'm dipping the pieces in

the dressing. I really don't want the chocolate. I had one piece and it

didn't taste good. The salad is good!

And 's job situation isn't as bad as it sounds..... just a bit of a

shock. He had a work comp injury.... shoulder.... about a year ago. It's

determined that it will never completely heal. He works in a

warehouse. But his work didn't talk about that. They just made it sound

like they were letting him go because he couldn't do the job! So, we have

to talk to his case worker to find out about a settlement. I'm not sure

how all that works. Out health insurance is with his work, so I have to

talk to my HR about getting us on my plan (it costs more). This is the

absolute wrong time for me to be traveling on business!! I can't take care

of my personal business when I'm in meetings all day!!!

So, all in all, it's been a pretty sucky day. Thanks for letting me vent.

Patti