Self-respect--or lack thereof

[Guest guest]

This may seem like a small, obvious thing to many of you, but it is huge for me.

I read the first two chapters of FF, set up goals and timelines, found a fun and

doable exercise program---then just didn't do any of it.

At first, I thought that it was because I was being lazy, self-indulgent and

spoiling myself, but, a few minutes ago I realized that it's because I HAVE NO

RESPECT FOR MYSELF.

I meticulously keep to the rules, goals and deadlines that I set up for work,

family and friends, but I have never done the same for myself! This has been a

pattern all my life, but I have always chalked it up to laziness or

self-pampering. Now I realize that I don't see myself as someone to whom I need

to be accountable. By not acting on my plans I AM NOT PAMPERING MYSELF--I AM

ACTUALLY ABUSING MYSELF BY ALLOWING MYSELF TO KEEP THIS WEIGHT BY EATING TOO

MUCH AND BEING INACTIVE.

Everytime I've started a self-improvement plan I have done the same thing.

Usually I find some fault to the program or my ability to " do " it.

I just had to write this out in order to get it to sink into my brain.

Thanks for taking the time to read it.

Marcia